The Good, the Bad, and the Beautiful
by Mamma4ever
Summary: Bella has always been the odd one out, never having many friends. College life could turn that all around. But her friendship with Edward Cullen might not be exactly what it seems. Does the shy, sweet Edward have a secret? AH, OOC, DARK
1. A New Leaf

**The Good, the Bad, and the Beautiful**

**this is not a western! LOL!**

Let me first say, I am making this ENTIRE fic *FICTION* (gasp!) I did so much dang research on FD that I missed out on some of the fun parts. I just want to enjoy this fic. The only "real" things will be the state she lives, the state her dad lives, and Harvard. I won't even promise that her courses are legit. I just wanna have fun lol.

Next, this is going to be a darker fic. Yes, I may have funny stuff here and there, because, well, I can't help it. I live with a bunch of clowns so sometimes they rub off on me. However, this will NOT be a comedy. (so that means no appearances from a very funny OC like FD, lol—sorry, I miss him too)

I need to thank my Literary Crew (LC) and yes, I have an actual crew this time! My darling beta, Spellboundagain had to step down and just become a pre-reader for me because she had to have shoulder surgery. I feel that her position is no less important than it was before, however, I have to introduce you to my newest beta, Rags, who will be taking over editing duty for sba :) Of course, Allysue08 will continue to be my meatier beta, who helps me beef up my chapters. Thanks guys! I have added two new positions to my LC and that is idea-bouncer-back-and-forther. LOL! I have to thank Shereebedee and Alitriona (aka Elia) for that job! They have helped me decide what should and should not be included in this fic! Thank you so much guys! You have all made this possible!

As always, I am only leasing these characters, unfortunately.

**A New Leaf**

BPOV

_August 19, 2009_

"Dad, I appreciate the help, I really do, but you've already driven me clear across the country, you don't need to help me unpack, too."

"I know, Bells, but…well…I'm gonna miss you." My dad, Charlie, had always been a man of few words. His exterior was tough, but inside, he was just a big ole softy.

My dad had always been supportive of my plan after high school, but when the day came for me to move all the way to Massachusetts, I could tell he was hurting inside. He was ecstatic that his only child had made it into Harvard, but being a Chief of Police didn't pay much and he knew our visits would be few and far between. This broke his heart more than he was willing to admit. After Mom died eight years ago, I was all Charlie had. I hated leaving him, but I had great plans for my future and I could only achieve them by leaving Forks…and therefore also my dad.

I compromised with him and let him help me unpack a few boxes, but made him promise to let me take him out to lunch afterward.

We were midway through the second box when I heard a soft knock on the opened dorm room door. I twirled around to see a girl my age smiling timidly and carrying a few suitcases.

She was a very pretty girl. She had long brown hair and wore the cutest pair of Mykita glasses, which complimented her smooth, slender face perfectly.

I stood up, gesturing quickly for her to come in, and rushed to scoot my boxes out of the way for her.

Her smile grew and she said, "You must be Isabella. Hello, I'm Angela. It's so nice to meet you." Her voice was so soft and gentle, letting me know right away that she was very kind-hearted and most likely shy as well.

This would be perfect. My biggest fear was that I would end up with a crazy and loud roommate who liked to party all hours of the night (and quite possibly be promiscuous right here in my room). I came to college for one reason, and one reason only, and that didn't include parties (or promiscuity for that matter). Yeah, call me a geek, call me a prude, but academics were my number one priority. I could have fun _after_ having made a life for myself.

I held out my hand and said, "Bella, actually, just Bella." I smiled and she shook my hand. "It's very nice to meet you, too, Angela." I nudged my dad with my elbow, but rolled my eyes as I looked at Angela. "This is my dad, Charlie."

Dad simply nodded and shook her hand.

"I wasn't sure which side you would prefer, so I haven't exactly chosen a side. You can pick, I am fine with either." I shrugged one shoulder letting her know it didn't matter to me.

"Um…well, I'm fine with either as well. How about I take the left?" She looked at me to make sure I was really fine with it, which I was.

Dad helped me finish up the second box and I offered Angela an invitation to lunch with us. She graciously declined, explaining that her older sister was coming to greet her in an hour or so. She informed us that her sister was a senior and she planned to 'show her the ropes' so she wouldn't feel like such a freshman. We both giggled and she told me that she would let me in on it as well.

As we were walking towards the nearest coffee shop, I started a conversation with my dad. Fat chance he would start one anytime soon.

"So, Angela seems nice."

_Grunt_

"I bet she will make a really great roommate."

_Hmm_

"Maybe I can get her to buy me some alcohol and cocaine and throw wild parties that include orgies."

_Grunt_

"Wait, what?" Dad looked at me as if I had just grown horns out of my head.

"Maybe next time you will actually pay attention to me when I am talking, Dad!" I giggled and wrapped my arm around his waist.

We had a nice lunch, with minimal conversation, of course. I paid the bill, even though Dad tried to take it from me three times, and we headed back to the dorms.

I stopped in front of my building. I really wanted to avoid crying and I knew I had a better chance of accomplishing that by remaining out in public.

Charlie looked at the sidewalk and dug his toe into the concrete. He lifted his hand and rubbed the back of his neck. "I know you probably don't want your dad to go all mushy on you, so I will try to just hug you quickly and go. I'm sure gonna miss you, Bells. Keep your grades up. I know you can do this. I have faith in you. Be responsible. Please call me if you _ever_ need me. No matter what the time…I…uh….I love you, Bells." His voice cracked in the end.

I leapt forward and wrapped my arms around him. That was the most my dad had said to me all in one sitting since…well, I didn't know when.

"Oh, Dad! I love you so much! I'll check in with you at least once a week. I'm gonna email you…you remember how to check your emails, right? I put a note card by the computer to help you remember your password and login information. I'll keep you updated. I sure am going to miss you, Dad." I kissed his cheek, "I really love you Dad. Thank you so much for…just for everything!"

Tears started to form in my eyes and I really didn't want to drag this out. I was a sucker for a man crying, and I would probably go right back to Washington with him if I would see him cry. I squeezed him one more time and ran to my room. I didn't look back for fear of what I would see on his face.

_This was it…the first day of the rest of my life._

* * *

_August 20, 2009_

I was finally unpacking my last box—my books—when I came across an envelope with my name written in chicken scratch. _Dad._

I opened the envelope and began reading the letter.

_Bells,_

_I had to put this in your final box because I knew you wouldn't accept it. But now you have no choice. The guys at the station and the families on the Rez pitched in to help out with your college living expenses. You can't send it back—it's a money order with your name on it. Please accept it from everyone who loves you. We want your first year to be as stress-free as possible. Enjoy your independence. Buy yourself something nice._

_We love you,_

_Dad and the gang_

I was put off by the fact that these people, who were barely above poverty themselves, actually gave me money to splurge with. Dad knew I had saved enough working at Newton's to supply all of my necessities for the first semester and I had planned on getting a part-time job to add to it for the following semester.

I pulled out the money order and quite literally fell out of my computer chair. _Five thousand dollars!?!_

I grabbed my phone and dialed Dad's cell.

He answered on the second ring, "I thought for sure you would have found it last night. You didn't fully unpack? That's unusual for you."

"Cut the crap, Dad. How could you let them do this? They can't afford it, Dad, and neither can you. I know you put money in on it, too, don't try to tell me you didn't. I can't accept this." Yes, I was whining like a bratty three-year-old, but I just couldn't fathom taking money knowing they needed it just as much as I did…probably more since I didn't exactly have bills.

"You have no choice, Bells. I told you in the letter. It is a money order, you have to accept it. I knew if it was a check you would tear it up or _conveniently_ lose it, but with a money order the money has already been spent and I don't think even _you_ would throw away five grand. Just take it, Bells. Everyone was very excited to help you out. They all love you and have watched you grow up…you are like _their_ little girl. Don't make this difficult, Bells, please." He was begging me. Charlie Swan didn't beg.

I huffed, "Fine…but I don't like it. Tell everyone I said 'thanks,' and please don't tell them I was being pissy about it, okay?" I giggled, knowing darn good and well, he would go straight and tell everyone my reaction. "I love you, Dad, and thank you. I think I'm gonna get that MacBook I had wanted to save up for. I will send you an email from it after I buy it, okay? G'night, Dad."

"'Night, Bells. I love you. Buy yourself a new outfit, too. Take a picture of yourself all dolled up and send it to us." He chuckled and we ended the call.

Once I accepted it, I started to get excited about the prospect of going out to spend money on items I had been wanting for quite some time. The MacBook, a cell phone upgrade—an iPhone would be nice – and I really wanted one of those dorm-size refrigerators. This was turning out to be a good thing after all.

* * *

_August 23, 2009_

I had already made my purchase at Best Buy. I went all out on the Mac. I had never had a brand new computer before, let alone a laptop, so I decked that sucker out. I was a bit proud of how thrifty I was and yet still able to come away with a top-of-the-line piece of equipment. I also upgraded to an iPhone while I was there.

_This is going to be a good year._

I decided to do as my dad said and I stopped to buy some new clothes. Not being one to get 'dolled up' as he so anciently put it, I preferred to get sophisticated clothing, but casual as well. It should be okay to wear to class and also look nice if I decided to go out to a nice restaurant. I managed to come away with five very nice, conservative outfits and three of my favorite kinds—tattered jeans, hoodie, t-shirt, and Chucks. I was quite pleased with myself.

To complete the ensemble, I stopped at the salon and had my first ever manicure and decided to finally change my hair. I had always had hair to my waist, but I was turning over a new leaf…a new chapter in my life, as they say. I donated fifteen inches of my dark brown curly hair to Locks of Love and then had a relaxer put in. I was blessed with candlestick curls all over my head, but I was ready to try straight hair for a while…curls were _not_ a wake-up-and-go hairdo.

When all was said and done, I looked totally different, but pretty darn good, at least I think so.

Before I hopped into bed that evening, I made myself a note to stop at the bank and deposit the twenty-five hundred dollars I had left.

_Yes, this is definitely going to be a good year._

* * *

_August 24, 2009—First day of classes_

I was never late. Never. You could set your watch by me. And here I was, two minutes before class…lost. I couldn't find the stupid Literature room. I had been up and down building three at least five times. This idiotic map that was smudged with barely legible letters didn't help me out one bit. I huffed, dropped my bag, and leaned against the wall, bending forward and placing my hands on my knees. I was muttering to myself so I didn't hear when someone approached.

"Need some help?"

I was startled by the sexiest voice to ever reach my ears. My head jerked up and saw the face that went along with that sweet sound, and I nearly lost my breath right then and there. The male specimen that stood before me was absolutely magnificent. _They don't grow 'em like that back in Forks._

I realized I was gaping so I quickly shut my mouth. "Uh..hi…um…uh…I uh.." Nice. I had the brains to get into Harvard and yet I couldn't even put words together to form a sentence.

His emerald eyes twinkled and he slowly licked his full, gorgeous, kissable lips before he snickered softly and said, "Are you having a hard time finding a class? This place is very confusing, and the maps they give out are ancient. Which room are you looking for? I can probably help you. I came a week early in order to memorize the campus." _Lord, have mercy._

I blinked way too many times to not appear like a deranged lunatic and swallowed loudly. "Uh, three…um three…uh," I looked down at my schedule because, well, honestly, I couldn't think of anything except running my fingers through his messy head of golden auburn hair. My fingers were literally twitching. I had _never_ fantasized about hair before…heck, I didn't believe I had fantasized about anything before. Yes, I was boring, I knew this. Did you think I was this smart naturally? Anyway, I had to get it together, this was quite pathetic. I took a deep breath, "Three-oh-four," I said, keeping my eyes on my paper in order to remain coherent.

"Ah, you have Professor Denali, same as I do." He grinned and picked up my messenger bag, which I had dropped beside me on the floor. "Come on, I'll show you the way."

He turned around and sweet Jesus, the back was almost as nice as the front – it just lacked the sexy smile and eyes. _I am in so much trouble._

I followed him to our Lit class, and once we stepped inside I realized that the room was almost full. There weren't many seats left, but two were conveniently side by side in the back of the room. He didn't even seem to think about it, he walked toward the seats and paused to see which desk I would choose.

I didn't look at his face, but quickly smiled and sat in the seat on the right. He handed me my bag and sat in the other seat. He scooted closer to me and my palms started to sweat.

"I'm Edward, by the way. Edward Cullen." He reached his hand out and I shook it softly, hoping he couldn't feel the perspiration that had gathered.

"Um…Bella," I gulped, "Swan. Thank you for your help, Edward. It was really…sweet." I prayed I wasn't blushing, but I doubted it was working; I always blushed.

"It's very nice to meet you, Umbella," Edward smirked, and continued "and, it was no problem. I couldn't let you wander aimlessly around the halls." His mouth tipped to one side and he chuckled.

We weren't able to speak again for the next hour and a half because Prof. Denali decided to take the entire time to go over our syllabus and his expectations for everyone in his class, along with the required readings and several suggested readings as well. I rolled my eyes since nearly everything on his list was something I had read before I turned fifteen. _This_ was why I wished it had been possible to skip Intro to American Lit – this class was going to bore me to tears.

Class was winding down and Edward started fidgeting with his notebook. I glanced over at him and he quickly lowered his head and started tapping his pencil on his desk. I noticed him swallow a few times, because, yes, I was fixated with his neck…and his chin…and his nose…and his ears…and his…anyway. He acted nervous and I couldn't figure out why. He had been so friendly at the beginning of class, even possibly outgoing, and now he was behaving strangely.

He began gathering his things and placing them in his bag. I noticed he had begun bouncing his knee and his breath appeared to be shallower.

Class was dismissed and suddenly I wasn't sure how to react towards Edward. He shifted slightly, to face me, but didn't meet my gaze. "It was…uh, it was very nice to meet you Bella. Um…enjoy your afternoon." He then rushed out of the room, leaving me standing there in shock. _What just happened?_

**Thank you so much for reading! I'm not going to beg for reviews, but I have 4 more chapters written and I just might be tempted to give a teaser of the next chapter for a review *****wink***


	2. What's in a Brain?

I'd like to thank my LC – Rags, Allysue08, Spellboundagain, Alitriona, and Shereebedee. You guys make this story post-worthy :)

I'd also like to thank WhatObsession17 for helping me come up with the sexy glasses. We googled for hours, so I owe a lot to her! Thanks bb!

As usual, I am only leasing these guys.

*Btw, this story will only be from BPOV*

**What's in a brain?**

_August 25, 2009_

My alarm went off, so I hit the snooze button and buried my face in my pillow. I didn't sleep well the night before because all I could think about was what had happened earlier in Lit between Edward and me. What exactly _had_ happened? He had been so sweet in the hall. He took my bag for me and showed me to class. He smiled and introduced himself. Everything seemed fine. I thought I might have found a new friend – and on the first day! _Go me!_

But apparently I was wrong. I couldn't figure out what I had done. Whatever it was, it seemed like I repulsed Edward. Even though this wasn't the first time someone had blatantly disregarded me, it hurt more than it ever had before. Maybe because for the first time in my life, I wasn't perceived as _Geekella_. Maybe, just maybe, because I thought this gorgeous man could possibly be interested in me. Maybe I was delusional.

My alarm blasted again, so I reached over and shut it off. I growled and pulled the pillow from my face. Angela was sitting at her desk and giggling. "Good morning, Sunshine. Rough night?"

"You have no idea, Angela. And what makes it worse is the fact that I have…" I looked at my clock and grumbled, "less than thirty minutes to get to my torture class, better known as Physiology."

Yes, my father might have referred to me as a 'genius', but my intelligence shouldn't be mistaken for enthusiasm, because anything related to science was pure and utter torture for me. My brain just didn't like science, no matter how hard I tried.

I dressed quickly and ran to the coffee shop. There was no way I could sit through a somnolent class after having been sleep deprived already without the aid of massive amounts of caffeine.

I glanced at my phone and realized I had three minutes to get to class and I was still a good five minutes from the building. _This year is not starting well for me._

I opened the classroom door and tried to quietly make my way to a seat when I realized that that was an impossible task. The door was at the front of the room – _just my luck_ – and the room was packed. There was one measly seat left and it just so happened to be in the far back corner _opposite_ of the door I was walking through. _So much for going unnoticed_.

I kept my head down, not just in order to avoid eye contact, but also to watch my ever clumsy feet, and shuffled quickly to the back of the room. I found my seat and opened my bag to retrieve my books. Once I was situated, I realized the room was completely quiet. I looked around and noticed everyone was staring at me – including the professor.

"Miss Swan, I presume?" she asked pretentiously.

Great…it seems Professor Stanley wasn't a very patient _or friendly_ professor.

"Uh, yes, ma'am, I'm sorry. It won't happen again."

As I went to lower my eyes from her gaze, I was distracted by a head of messy bronze hair. Even though I couldn't see his face, I knew it was Edward. He had the most unique hair I had ever seen. I willed him to look at me, but he never did.

The class went just as I had anticipated; boring and dull. It didn't help much that Professor Stanley had an annoyingly nasal voice and spoke monotonously. _Why can't she teach a class that I enjoy? WHY? Oh, because the world hates me…_

When class ended, I gathered my things slowly in order to be the last person out of the room. I really didn't want to come face to face with Edward just to be rejected yet again. Well, I guess I wasn't exactly _rejected_ last time, but it sure felt like it.

As I zipped my bag, I looked up and saw him standing beside his desk, with his hand in his hair. He had his back to me, but he was completely still. I saw his shoulders rise with a deep breath and he sighed before he slowly walked toward the door. Just as he walked through the doorway, he glanced at me, but it was so quickly that I thought I might have imagined it.

Lucky for me, I had two more classes that day – both were Edward-free zones – so I was preoccupied enough to keep my mind off him. No, that wasn't true. I was distracted enough so that I managed to keep my thoughts away from Edward for a majority of the time. _What am I saying?_ I couldn't concentrate on anything _but_ Edward. I needed to get him out of my head. This wasn't at all like me. I never had a hard time focusing. I had never _ever_ been obsessed with a boy before. Of course, part of that might have been the fact that there hadn't been a single noteworthy male specimen in Forks to garner my obsession.

I pulled out my cell and called Angela to see if she wanted something from the deli before I headed back to the dorm. We settled on ham and cheese croissants and an order of steak fries to share.

After the two of us traded stories about our second day in class (of course I left out the part about Edward), Angela settled in at her desk to respond to emails. I curled up on my bed with a worn copy of _Gone with the Wind_, knowing darn good and well I wouldn't actually be reading it. Sure enough, one paragraph in, and my mind couldn't concentrate on Scarlett…no, Scarlett made me think of red. Red made me think of green. Green made me think of Edward. _Of course._

After an hour of reading the same two paragraphs over and over again, I finally decided to just try to go to sleep. I took two Tylenol PMs for good measure and turned toward the wall. It wasn't long before I managed to pass out.

* * *

_August 26, 2009_

I walked into Lit fifteen minutes early in order to avoid the decision of where to sit. I didn't want to come into class and be forced to choose whether or not to sit beside Edward. I didn't want to assume anything about our seating arrangement. I needed to leave the choice up to him, and I really doubted that he would choose to sit beside me yet again.

I sat in the same seat and began to unload my bag. I heard the door open and shut and I just assumed it was Prof. Denali, so I continued to root through my things, looking for my favorite pen. Several seconds later, I felt, rather than saw, someone sit in the seat beside me. I glanced up to see Edward sitting there timidly. He had his hands in his lap and was staring at his fingers. _Well, at least he still sat beside me, that's a good thing, right?_

I took a moment to gawk at Edward. Yes, I was thoroughly gawking. I wasn't about to deny that. The reason for this was that Edward was wearing a pair of gunmetal Burberry glasses and looked sexy as all get out. He was wearing another button-down, much like he had before, but this time in navy blue, which oddly enough made his green eyes even more alluring. And he topped off his outfit with black denim acid wash button-fly jeans. Had I mentioned how gorgeous this man was?

Edward looked over, noticing me staring – gaping actually – and half grinned at me. He took a deep breath and spoke softly, "Good morning, Bella. How are you today?" He was fidgeting again and wouldn't make eye contact.

"So…uh, you aren't going to avoid me today?" _Crap! I hadn't planned on blurting that out._

Edward flinched, "Yeah, about that…I'm really sorry for rushing off the other day, I was…well, I had…I was in a hurry." _I don't think so…_

"Riiiight…you were in a hurry? Okay." I figured I should let it go, even though I didn't believe him for a second. I didn't want to push away the only friend I had so far, other than Angela. _Is he even my friend, yet?_ "Anyway, I'm doing fine. I didn't sleep well last night, but I pumped myself full of caffeine before class, so I should be good for a while." I smiled. "How about you?"

Edward licked his lips and I had a sudden urge to lick them myself. _Sheesh!_ "Well, I'm better now…" he trailed off. _Now? As opposed to when?_

"As opposed to when?" _Darn my brain filter…apparently it hasn't woken up yet!_

Edward chuckled humorlessly and responded, "I have…well…I have been feeling really crappy since I walked out abruptly on Monday…and I feel…better now that I am able to speak to you again. I feel bad, and I would like to apologize." He swallowed and looked up at me. "Would you…um…maybe want to grab a bite to eat after class?" Edward looked back down to his desk and said, "I mean…I understand if you would rather not, I just, well…I'd like to try to make it up to you." Edward was blushing profusely.

I smiled a bit too widely to appear nonchalant and quietly said, "I'd like that, Edward."

His eyes widened and he finally looked into my eyes and grinned. "Really? Okay…cool."

The room started to fill with other students so Edward and I weren't able to continue talking. I was pretty much on an Edward-induced high for the rest of class and missed nearly everything Prof. Denali said. When I realized everyone was shifting in their seats to pack up and leave, I started to close my notebook and noticed what I had been doodling during class. I nervously glanced over at Edward to make sure he hadn't seen. He didn't seem affected, so hopefully this meant he hadn't. There was no way I could have gone to lunch with him if he had seen that page.

Class was then dismissed and when I looked at Edward he was already standing beside my desk and grinning. "Shall we?"

I stood and smiled as well. "Absolutely!" As I lifted my bag to my shoulder, Edward reached out and grabbed it, shrugging just before slipping it over his shoulder along with his. I rolled my eyes and began walking toward the door giggling.

I followed Edward in a very awkward silence to the nearby deli. I desperately wanted to start up a conversation, but I had no clue how to begin. Did I ever mention that I had never been alone with a guy before? Yeah…not many guys in Forks had wanted to be seen with _Geekella_, so I hadn't ever had an opportunity to date. But right then I was really wishing I had at least _some_ experience in small talk.

We placed our order and had a seat at a nearby table. I cleared my throat and started to say something, anything, but Edward beat me to it, thank God.

"So, Umbella, where are you from?" Edward smirked as he drew out the nickname he used.

"Oh, so is this what you plan to call me now?" I quirked an eyebrow.

Edward shrugged one shoulder and scrunched his lips as if he was thinking, then nodded with a smile.

I laughed, "Alrighty then. So, I grew up in a small town in Washington. I doubt you have heard of it. There are like five people who live there. Anyway, since I was always bored, I read…a whole lot. The more I read, the smarter I got. The smarter I got, the less friends I had. The fewer friends I had, the more I read. So in essence, it was a never-ending circle. However, I'm fine with that. I've always been a bit of a loner, like my dad, I guess. I'm quite happy with how things turned out. I didn't have the normal teenage distractions in high school, so my grades never faltered and I was able to reach my goals…above them actually." _Holy cow…ramble much?_

Luckily for me, Edward seemed to be rather interested in my odd ramblings. He had been smiling at me the whole time. "Try me."

_Excuse me? Try what?_

"Excuse me? T-t-try what?" Apparently my filter wasn't coming back anytime soon. This could be bad…very, very bad. My heart rate had risen to unhealthy measures and I was pretty sure my mouth was drier than the Serengeti, but my hands were shaking too bad for me to even attempt to take a drink of my soda.

Edward's smile became a smirk and he chuckled lightly, "The town you lived in. Tell me the name. You'd be surprised what I know about the US."

I breathed a sigh of relief. I needed to do something about my mind going straight to the gutter with this boy. I had never even _thought_ some of the things that were roaming through my mind as of late, let alone actually fantasizing about them like I had been. Maybe I should consider having 'the talk' with Angela. I mean, sure, I had done all of the research on sex and sex-related…eh, _activities_, but I had never had anyone to actually discuss these activities with. What was the norm? What was acceptable? How far did guys go on the first date? These were things I needed to know. But then again, I guess I was kind of jumping the gun with this whole, eh, relationship thing with Edward. Just because he took me out to lunch didn't mean he had planned on going any further with this. Oh, and if I didn't stop the babbling in my head and speak to him soon, his eyebrows were no longer going to reside on his face.

During my internal ramblings, Edward's eyebrows had inched higher and higher into his hairline indicating he was patiently awaiting my elaboration of my hometown. I physically shook my head to shut up my inane thoughts. "Sorry…yeah…um…Forks…that's the town I grew up in."

Edward's eyes lit up in recognition. "Ah, Forks, Washington. Forks is a city in Clallum County. The population was 3,120 at the 2000 census. It is named after the forks in the nearby Quillayute, Bogachiel, Calawah, and Sol Duc rivers. According to the U.S. Census Bureau, Forks has a total area of three point one square miles. Forks was officially incorporated on August 28, 1945 following an election of the constituents who would become its first town members. Forks is the home of the nations longest Fourth of July celebration called, 'Forks' Old Fashioned 4th of July.' It is also the birthplace of the Emmy award winning actress Leann Hunley, who has played a recurring role on the long running NBC drama Days of our Lives since 1982." By the time Edward finished his speech, he was smiling proudly and my chin had nearly unhinged itself from my face and dropped into my plate of food which I hadn't touched.

_Wow…I think I'm in love…_

"Wow…I think I'm –" _holy freaking crap, I nearly let that one slip._ "Actually, I am quite impressed. Do you…do that a lot? Just research random towns and memorize their history?" I had finally stopped shaking enough to take a drink of my soda, which was a very good thing, because I didn't think I would be able to speak another word if I didn't get _some_ form of lubricant in my mouth. And there went my mind straight back to the gutter at the thought of lubricant. _Is this what boys deal with on a daily basis? Cause, I don't know how much of this I can handle…_

"Actually, I happened to have a lot of free time on my hands as well in high school, so I spent most of my time researching towns across America that weren't well known. I have…well…a, um…eidetic memory…" He mumbled the last part as if he was ashamed of it. He had broken eye contact with me midway through his sentence, making it obvious how uncomfortable he was admitting this. "That's, um –"

"A photographic memory, yes, I know." I smiled when he looked at me in shock. "Why do you act as if you're ashamed of that?" Okay…that could have come out a bit more tactfully.

"Well…that was one of the things that caused me to have a lot of free time. Most people are put off by that fact. They think I feel superior to them and then…well, no one ever wants me to see anything for fear that I will hold it against them for the rest of their lives or something crazy like that." He snorted and rolled his eyes.

"Don't worry, I won't hold that against you," I chuckled. "I happen to be a very visual person, myself. Though I may not have a _photographic_ memory, my memory is largely based on visuals. This is why I tend to take an inordinate amount of notes in all of my classes. I tend to remember things as I _see_ them rather than _hear_ them. So, yeah…don't be ashamed of that around me. I think it's rather…cute." I knew I was blushing excessively with that statement, but yet again, my mouth spoke before my brain could silence it.

Edward had gone back to smiling as he took a bite of his sandwich. I took that moment to finally take a bite of mine as well. We ate in silence for a few moments and then I realized he hadn't stated his hometown to me. I swallowed my bite and took a sip of my soda, then cleared my throat.

"So…you didn't tell me where you grew up. Is it top secret? Are you a secret agent for the FBI? CIA?"

We both chuckled and he started explaining, "I actually grew up in Chicago. But just because I lived in a city of two point eight million people, doesn't mean I wasn't any less bored than you were. It seems that I, too, was more of a loner than a people person, which was a good thing because the kids in my schools not only didn't like intelligent kids, they outright despised them. So I learned quite early on that I was my own best friend. I spent all of my free time teaching myself things…some of it useful, some of it impractical, but all of it was knowledge…and, well, I sort of have an addiction to knowledge, I guess you could say." He shrugged and laughed humorlessly.

"I don't believe it. I mean…I never would have thought you would have a hard time with friends. You are so friendly and ha –" _No, no…must not mention how incredibly gorgeous he is._ "Helpful. People in Chicago must lack brain function or something. I can't believe people wouldn't want to be friends with you." I almost reached out and rubbed his hand in a comforting manner, but thought better of that…

"So…we share Physiology and American Lit, but I know nothing else about you. What do you plan to be when you grow up, Umbella?" Edward was grinning his sexy crooked grin again and I nearly lost all coherency.

"Actually, I plan to be a Lit professor. All the time I spent reading books as I grew up gave me an exorbitant appreciation for literature. I guess you could say, 'I never met a book I didn't like'. Sure, there are less than wonderful books out there, but I am thoroughly intrigued by the many different aspects of literature, be it politically incorrect, morally rejected, or nonsensical fluff…I tend to see the best of them all. I am quite the bookworm." I snickered and pushed up my imaginary reading glasses. "So, what about you, Edward? What are your plans?"

"Well, during all of my self-imposed education, I discovered an interest in psychology. I am extremely fascinated with the human psyche and how it works; therefore that is my major. I'm most likely going into forensic psychology as a career."

I totally just saw Edward take over the role of Greg in CSI. My mind may have gone further with that fantasy…like possibly including him in a Star Trek uniform…

The rest of our lunch passed with amiable conversation about school and future plans. I really enjoyed talking with Edward – well, once I regained control of my brain filter, that is.

We parted ways after exchanging email addresses and I may have silently squealed at the prospect of having a permanent form of communication with Edward.

Once I made it into my dorm, I looked down at his email address and literally snorted out loud…and subsequently drooled.

_Closet_Trekkie(at)hotmail(dot)com_

* * *

_September 10__th__, 2009_

The last few weeks had been filled with many conversations between us. I hadn't had to worry with making the first move, because Edward had emailed me later that night telling me he had enjoyed our lunch together. Of course I replied in agreement. From that point on, Edward and I had emailed each other several times a day and even started texting as well. We had also made a habit of going out to lunch after every Lit class. Much to my dismay, we couldn't go out after Physiology because Edward had a class immediately after.

This morning, as I was getting ready for Lit – I admit I dressed up a bit more for this class than any other – I heard my phone buzz with a text. I grinned, because Edward and Angela were the only ones who would text me, and since Angela happened to be lying in her bed at that very moment, I knew it had to be Edward.

_I'm at the coffee shop, thought I'd pick you up your usual ;) meet you in class._

_Have I said how I think I'm in love?_

Class was uneventful – well, as uneventful as sitting next to Edward could possibly be – and afterwards Edward apologized to me and explained that he had been trying to get an appointment with his Psychology professor and that the only available time was right after our Lit class. I told him I totally understood and we could chat later that evening.

Angela came in around four pm, bouncing on her heels. "Bella, Bella, Bella! How much do you love me? Please, please tell me you love me enough to be my wingman tomorrow?" I already didn't like the sound of this.

"Wingman for what exactly, Angela?" I asked cautiously.

"Well, see…remember me telling you about Ben from my Calculus class?"

Of course I remembered that. That was the night I finally spilled my guts about my lack of experience in all things _male_. Luckily, Angela – who was also inexperienced – had an older sister who loved to flaunt her…um…escapades in front of Angela rather frequently, so she was able to give me quite the rundown that evening. During that time, the both of us discussed, in depth might I add, our objects of affection with each other.

"Yes, I remember…" I didn't like where this was going.

"Well, Ben invited me to his frat party tomorrow night and…well, I can't go without someone else I know being there, Bella. Please, please, please, please go with me! I promise you I will do anything you ask of me! I will do your laundry for a month! Please, Bella! You know I wouldn't ask you if it wasn't important to me," she whined.

Angela knew I wasn't a partygoer, however, neither was she. We had acknowledged this from the very beginning because we had both been worried about having a roommate who would interfere with our mediocre life of solitude and quietness. Therefore I knew she was being honest about not asking me if it didn't mean a great deal to her, so reluctantly, I agreed.

"Okay, Angela…but I'm _not_ drinking, so don't even ask!" That was all I needed; to get drunk around a bunch of horny upperclassmen who could take advantage of me and I would never even know who they were.

She held up her hand like Mork from Ork and said, "I swear to not even ask!"

We both giggled and she grabbed me by the shoulders and started spinning around squealing, "Our first frat party! Our first frat party!" _Um…how about 'only' frat party…_

This put a bit of a damper on my mood for the rest of the evening, because I wasn't really looking forward to a party – let alone a frat party.

However, after dinner, my mood lightened a bit when I checked my email and there was a sweet note from Edward.

_Umbella, I am very sorry to have missed lunch with you today. I have to say it makes for a rather dismal outlook on the weekend for me. However, I will patiently wait for Monday when I can see your smiling face once again._

_Sleep well, Bella,_

_Edward_

I was grinning from ear to ear when I emailed him back.

_Edward, You are very sweet, you know that? I hardly think lunch with me makes your weekend less dismal, but it was a sweet thing to say. I, too, will be waiting patiently for our next meeting._

_Sleep well yourself, Edward,_

_Bella_

On that note, I went to bed in much better spirits. Regardless of what the next day held for me, I knew Edward was thinking about me just as I was thinking about him. This helped me to fall asleep quickly and have _very_ nice dreams…even if they weren't exactly rated PG.

**Thanks for reading! I'll slip you a teaser for a review ;)**


	3. After School Specials Don't Prepare You

Thanks, as usual to my LC – Alitriona/Eila, Allysue08, Rags88, Shereebedee, and Spellboundagain, and my test reaction lady – Whatobsession17! I luv you guys! SO FREAKING MUCH!

I'm only leasing as always

**After School Specials Don't Prepare You For This**

_September 11__th__, 2009_

_**I was dreamin' when I wrote this**_

_**Forgive me if it goes astray**_

Why in God's name was I hearing Prince at – I looked at my alarm clock – nine in the morning??

_**But when I woke up this mornin'**_

_**Coulda sworn it was judgment day**_

Once I was fully coherent, someone was gonna pay.

_**Tryin' to run from the destruction**_

_**You know I didn't even care**_

I bet you're going to care once I get out of this bed…

_**'Cuz they say two thousand zero zero party over**_

_**Oops out of time**_

With the next line, I found the culprit.

Angela belted out, "So tonight I'm gonna party like it's 1999!"

I growled, "Not if I kill you first."

"Oh, Bella! You're finally awake!" Angela squealed over the music which was still blaring way too loudly.

"Hmm, I wonder why? Could it be that someone is playing Prince – when he used to still be known as Prince – a bit too loudly and a bit too early and singing along, a bit too off-key? Yeah, I think that might be why I'm finally awake…you think?"

Angela just giggled and continued singing along with the song as I buried my head in my pillow, trying unsuccessfully to drown out the noise.

When the song finally ended, Angela jumped up and down on my bed saying, "Come on, Bella! Get dressed ASAP, so we can stop by the coffee shop before we go shopping!" _Wait, what?_

"Okay, first of all, Angela, I don't think you need anymore caffeine and second of all…who said anything about shopping?" I squinted one eye at her and grunted.

"Bella! You don't honestly plan to go to your first frat party in something you already have, do you? Get real, girlfriend." Angela briefly stood still with her hands on her hips and head shaking like a parent disappointed in their child.

"As a matter of fact, Angela, the clothes in my closet were bought the first weekend I came here, so in essence they _are_ new. I don't need to shop for more, thank you very much." I actually stuck my tongue out at her like a kindergartener and jutted out my chin defiantly. At that, she began jumping again. I tried to catch her legs with my own, but my barely-awake brain wasn't functioning correctly enough to pull that off.

"Okay, Bella, answer me this…how many pieces of those clothes have you not yet worn?" She quirked an eyebrow.

Well, she had me there. Since I had been trying to impress Edward, I had managed to wear every single thing I had bought…

I huffed, "Fine! But I'm not going overboard. And _you're_ buying breakfast!"

After breakfast we hopped on the bus to go downtown. The whole ride was spent with Angela discussing all of the possibilities for an outfit. She told me why a mini skirt was out, why short heels were in, why a button-down was out (too easy for groping hands to maneuver into), why a turtleneck was out (harder for necking), why skinny jeans were in, and last but not least, why short sleeves were in (so a guy will offer you his jacket). I disregarded most of what she said because I had no intentions of coming into contact with any guys.

By the time we made it to the mall, I was already exhausted just thinking about all of the rules party-going involved. I wanted to get in and out as quickly as humanly possible.

Three hours later, I finagled Angela out of the shopping area in order to take five and have lunch at Subway. I had never pegged Angela to be a shopaholic – she seemed much too timid – but boy, was I sadly mistaken. I was extremely grateful that she didn't try to force me into submission and let me simply buy a new tee and some earrings.

Angela inhaled her food as if a tornado was on its way to sweep it up, and I couldn't help but laugh. In between bites, she suggested a mani-pedi in order to make us feel more feminine. _Yeah, like that's gonna happen._

I had to admit, I felt much more relaxed after the visit to the salon, but that went straight out the window when we made it back to the dorm and started getting ready for the party. That's when I remembered that I wasn't exactly a people person. I didn't know how to mingle, and even if I did, the people in the midst of getting drunk or high were not likely to be the least bit interested in anything nerdy I had to say. This made my anxiety level hit the roof. _How am I ever going to pull this off?_

While we were getting ready, I started asking questions about Ben just to keep Angela talking so she would distract me from thoughts of my impending doom. Don't judge me. I was not overreacting. What I was about to subject myself to was nearly as big of a risk as handing a blind person a bow and arrow and asking them to shoot an apple off of your head. Trust me, I know my limitations.

I must say, Angela did a pretty darn good job at keeping me distracted. In the short time we had been on campus, she had managed to find out an awful lot about Mr. Ben Cheney. She knew his schedule as well as she knew her own (and also managed to 'accidentally' bump into him quite a few times). She knew where he grew up, when his birthday was, what he was majoring and minoring in and how many siblings he had. The most fascinating part of this information? She didn't find out any of it from Ben himself. I asked her if she was planning to become a private eye after college and she just laughed. I then wondered how much she knew about me…

Within mere minutes of hyperventilation due to my shallow breathing for an extended period, we were both ready to 'take on the world' as Angela so eloquently put it. She laughed heartily when I responded with, "Prepare to die, Earth scum!" She actually thought I was joking…

The party wasn't far from our dorm, so we simply walked over casually, to keep from becoming short of breath or – heaven forbid – sweaty from exertion. _Thank God for that!_

You could hear the music at least three buildings away. Angela started getting all giddy on me and I was suddenly worried that she was going to drop me like a hot potato when she realized what a fuddy duddy I was.

Just before we reached the door, which was already opened by the way, she quickly pulled me over to the side and started speaking at ninety miles an hour.

"Do I still look okay? Did my hair mess up? How about my makeup? Is this outfit too much? Should I wear something else?" For the first time that night, Angela looked nervous. I couldn't understand this because she had no reason to be. She was beautiful and funny and smart – but not too nerdy – and happy, and just a fun person to be around. I was sure she would have no problem making friends at the party, so there was no reason for her nervousness.

"Angela…it was a five minute walk. What do you honestly think could have happened that quickly? You look absolutely perfect, as always." I grinned and tugged her toward the door. The sooner we got this over with, the sooner I could be back in my comfortable bed reading – well, at least _holding_ – my favorite book.

We were barely ten feet in the door when a tall, medium-build, blond man came up to me smiling, and obviously already inebriated. "Isabella…I mean, Bella, right? You prefer Bella, right? I'm Mike…I'm in your fizz, fizzy, fizzylogily class." By this point, he was so close I could smell his breath as it fanned across my face. It nearly made me vomit right then and there. I had never liked the smell of alcohol, but mixed with the smell of pot and cigarettes made it ten times worse. I took two steps back, just as he took three steps forward, pinning me against a wall. "So, Blel…Bella…d'ya wanna dance?"

_Absolutely not!_

I looked to my right for backup from Angela but apparently being her 'wingman' simply meant to walk in the door with her because she had already disappeared into the sea of people. _Great…just great!_

"Uh…actually, I'm not very good at dancing, I'm sorry. But, thank you for asking. That was very…um, thoughtful."

I slid out from between Mike and the wall and started to walk away but he grabbed my elbow, quite hard actually. He pulled me backwards up against his chest and whispered in my ear, "That's s'ok, Bella. I din't really wanna dance anyway. Les go somewhere so we can be alone." As soon as he said 'alone', Mike pressed his groin into my back and I could feel exactly what he had in mind.

I tried to jerk away, but he had a pretty firm grip. "Mike, I need to find my friend, Angela. Could you please let me go?" My words didn't come out nearly as forceful as I had intended, and I was pretty sure Mike believed in the universal myth 'no means yes,' because he then wrapped both of his arms around my waist and started to grind his erection into my back. I was starting to get nauseous.

I continued to struggle so as to free myself from Mike's grasp, but then I realized he must have perceived my struggles as reciprocation, because he moaned in my ear. I could literally feel the bile rising in my throat. For some reason I remembered at that very moment I remembered all of the training my dad had been teaching me for years. I went through the list of self-defense moves in my head, trying to choose the one that would draw the least amount of attention. _First frat party…grabbing a guy's crotch and twisting? Yeah, that would not bode well for my reputation._

I decided to take the route that could very well be misconstrued as an accident, thus saving myself from humiliation. I tucked my chin to my chest and quickly slammed my head back into Mike's face. He immediately let go and grabbed his nose screaming and cursing.

I then completed the performance by gasping and turning around. "Oh my God, Mike! I am so sorry! Are you okay?" _Easy peasy, lemon breezy. _ _Maybe I should take up acting? Nahhhh._

Mike looked a bit confused, but he was intoxicated enough that even if he were to remember this in the morning, he couldn't be sure that it hadn't been just an accident. As a few guys started to gather around him to make sure that he was alright, I quietly made my escape.

The room was filled wall to wall with people. There were couples sitting together on the couches, passing shots or joints between themselves. There were people leaning against the walls laughing and drinking. A line of bodies trailed up the stairs, some sitting, some standing. The center of the room was packed tight like a can of sardines. Everyone was either dancing or attempting to navigate through the crowd. I squeezed my way through the mass of people and thanked my lucky stars I wasn't claustrophobic. I would have had an anxiety attack right then and there.

I might have made it another thirty feet before a very tall, very muscular, and very tanned man stood in my path. I practically broke my neck to look up into his face and found a huge dimpled grin. You can add handsome to that list of 'very's. His already giant grin became enormous as I made eye contact.

He thrust his hand forward in greeting. "Hello, there! I'm Emmett!"

I reached forward slowly to shake his hand and simply smiled politely. I was still in a bit of a shock over what had just happened with Mike and I was starting to worry that possibly every man in this place was going to act similarly. _Hey, isn't that what afterschool specials insinuated?_

Emmett let go of my hand, only to pull me to his side and put his arm around my shoulders. The contact took me by surprise and I tensed up out of sheer reflex. It wouldn't be as easy to defend myself against the monstrosity that was standing beside me, but I was already going through the list again, just in case.

"I saw what you did to Newt the Brute…that was pretty dang impressive." He winked and whispered, "And you even played it off as an accident. Very slick." Emmett had begun walking away from the crowd, pulling me with him, still chatting away. "So, where did you learn your moves…" he stopped and looked at me, "I didn't catch your name."

I barely spoke above a whisper, "Bella."

Emmett grinned and continued guiding me in the same direction. "So, Bella. Cute name, by the way. Where did you learn to take on disgusting pigs like that?"

I giggled. The irony wasn't lost on me that I was now being nearly man-handled by a much larger man and I may have quite possibly jumped out of the frying pan and into the fire. "My dad is the Chief of Police back where I come from. He taught me everything I needed to know to defend myself and also to escape an attacker."

I nearly jumped out of my skin when Emmett boomed with laughter. "Abso-freaking-lutely priceless! It's about time Newt came across someone who fights back! I like you, Bella. You're a nice addition to this here community." Emmett had pulled me into the communal room, where all of the liquor was spread out across the pool table. Along the wall was a buffet table filled with snacks, plates, cups, and napkins. Emmett had grabbed two blue Solo cups. "So, what's your poison, Bella? Ladylike, manly, or hillbilly?"

_Excuse me, what?_

I just stared at him like he was speaking Icelandic and he chuckled, "Mixed, shots, or beer?"

I started laughing. "Oh, no, no, no…I'm the DD tonight. No drinks for me, but thank you anyway."

Emmett eyed me skeptically. "You actually _drove_ here? To a frat party? On Dormitory Row – walking distance from the campus?"

"Okay…I may not be the designated _driver_, but I _am_ the designated walker." I rolled my eyes and grinned.

Emmett was booming again. "Okay, okay. I get it. You're here with friends and you are the only one sensible enough to consider the possibilities if you all end up drunk at a party full of strangers. That's really smart, Bella. I won't discredit you that. Would you at least like a soda?"

"I would love one, Emmett. Thank you."

Emmett handed me a Mountain Dew. Not my choice, normally, but I wasn't about to complain. I lifted the tab and took a drink – well, more like a gulp. As I lowered my head, I saw that Emmett had been staring at me and I instantly became self-conscious.

He must have noticed my sudden anxiety because he abruptly said, "Sorry, I didn't mean to stare. I just was thinking that you seemed very familiar to me. You're a freshman, right?" He quickly held up his hands defensively. "Not that that's a bad thing…I'm sorry, I don't mean to sound rude."

"No, it's okay, I don't take offense to it. I _am_ a freshman, no sense in trying to hide it _or_ be ashamed of it." I grinned and shrugged a shoulder.

"Well…what is your schedule like? Maybe I have passed you in the hall?"

I started by saying, "Monday mornings I have Professor Denali in r –"

He cut me off by saying, "That's it! I have Profali Denali on Mondays. I took Comparative Lit last year and it just wasn't for me, so I decided on American Lit this time around."

I smiled and explained to him that I planned to take nearly all of the literature courses Harvard had to offer. We continued to chat for a few more minutes, and then – without warning – we heard several guys shouting, "Fight! Fight! Fight!"

Emmett barreled through the crowd in the direction of the commotion and I heard him shouting, "Alright, let's break it up. Whatever it's about, it isn't worth it."

I grinned and shook my head. Emmett was a really nice guy. He wasn't anything like his physique suggested. He wasn't your typical jock. He actually had a brain and apparently compassion as well. I was rather impressed.

I was pulled from my musings when yet another guy invaded my personal space. A rather geeky-looking, extremely tall, thin man with slicked back black hair was smiling down at me. I was beginning to wonder if I had a stamp on my forehead that said, "Single, white female, seeking male counterpart."

As I was walking away, I heard him say, "Name's Yorkie. Eric Yorkie. Can I get you a drink?"

I started laughing because not only could I not stop myself from picturing a Yorkshire terrier in my head, but his lame attempt at sounding like James Bond made me picture the terrier carrying a Beretta and sporting a three-piece suit and bow tie. Too bad he wasn't a cute little furry puppy.

As I looked for Angela, several things became clear to me all at once. First of all, everywhere I looked I saw some form of the most graphic and downright disgusting type of PDA ever to reach my virgin eyes. If this wasn't enough to make me blow chunks (excuse my French), the smells that permeated the room sure as heck were. I could smell cigarettes, marijuana, beer, whiskey, musky perfume, flowery perfume, and to top off this wonderful array of odor…vomit…very strong, very…eh, _ripe_ vomit.

I knew I needed to get to a bathroom fast. I went in the direction I thought was the bathroom, but it was the kitchen. My eyes nearly popped out of my head when I saw not only bottle upon bottle of even _more_ alcohol than had been in the communal room, but across the dining table was a half-naked girl with guys doing what appeared to be shots from her navel and licking between her breasts and then sucking on a lemon in her mouth. I watched two different guys go through this routine before I fled the room. I was approached by two more testosterone-ridden male subjects before I was finally able to lock myself in a bathroom. I rushed over to the sink and began splashing cold water on my face, which, thankfully, kept me from throwing my guts up. Once I calmed down, I slid down onto the cool tile floor, bending my knees and resting my forehead on them. I sat there for about five minutes before I pulled out my iPhone and texted Angela, asking her where she was and explaining that I was now locked in the bathroom.

Meanwhile, I played Sudoku as I waited for her to text back. I heard a soft knock on the door and I chose to ignore it. If I was lucky, they would think someone was passed out in here and leave me alone. A few minutes later, I heard a louder knock. I ignored it also. It had been quiet for about fifteen minutes and I was completely absorbed in my second game when someone started banging on the door. I squealed, inadvertently blowing my cover, and said, "Find another bathroom, this one's occupied!" I heard Edward say, "I don't think so, go find a room! There's a line out here!" I couldn't believe Edward was here! I was so excited, that I shoved my phone into my pocket and quickly washed my hands.

I flung the bathroom door opened and was met with a very angry face that I recognized as the body shot girl. I tried to side-step her, but both of us moved in the same direction, which caused me to bump into her. Before I could even say 'excuse me', she haughtily said, "Watch it, fresh_meat!_"

The smaller girl beside her snorted and said, "Good one, Lauren!" They both started cackling as they walked into the bathroom, slamming the door behind them. I looked at the many faces that were surrounding me, but not one of them was Edward. _Was I hallucinating?_

I had so desperately wanted a friend to be at this party that I may very well have imagined that voice to be Edward's. I shook my head and started walking back toward the party. I was so incredibly close to just walking back to the dorm and letting Angela fend for herself, but I decided to make one more sweep of the area just in case.

Just as I was about to give up and head for the door, I caught sight of Edward. I did a quick double-take because I was _pretty sure_ it was Edward, however, he looked completely different. Regardless, I was immensely happy to finally find a familiar face.

I started to walk toward him and my heart began racing. He looked so incredibly…sexy. He had gelled his hair into a fauxhawk. He was wearing a black graphic tee and – _oh my word!_ – leather motorcycle pants. He finished the outfit with a pair of black Chucks and some sort of leather wristband. I slowly scanned back up his magnificent body and noticed he was staring right at me. Great, I was caught ogling. When I met his gaze he started smiling, but it wasn't a smile I had ever seen on him before. This smile was, for lack of a better word, predatory. His eyes darkened and he licked his lips slowly – incredibly slowly. The movement caught my eye and I noticed that he had a rather noticeable five-o-clock shadow. In fact, if I had just seen him the day before and he was clean shaven, I would have thought he hadn't shaved for at least four days.

I continued to slowly walk toward him, trying to calm my erratic heartbeat and shallow breathing. My pulse was so loud that it was drowning out the thunderous bass beating around me. He started smirking as he looked me up and down ever so slowly. I had never seen him act this way. I couldn't exactly say I didn't like it, but it was…well, odd coming from him. And the look? It was freaking hot as hell, I have to admit. It was doing strange things to my stomach and nether regions. Things that I had never experienced before. Call me a prude if you must.

The closer I got to him, the more his eyes smoldered. He was looking more and more like he wanted to devour me and I'd be lying if I said I didn't welcome the thought.

By the time I reached him he had the cockiest grin I had ever seen. He had quirked one eyebrow and slowly said, "Hello there, you sexy thing." _Oh. My. God…Wait. What?_

I looked at him quizzically, because this was just so weird coming from him. I decided to go with it. Maybe drinking brought out the confident side of Edward. "Hey there, Edward! I didn't expect to see you here."

Instantly, his smile faded and he no longer looked smoldering. No, he now looked beyond incensed. His nostrils were flaring and he pursed his lips and furrowed his brow. Before I could even ask him what I had said, he roughly shoved past me and walked out the front door. _What in the heck just happened?_

I was still standing there staring at the empty doorway with my jaw dropped when Angela came up to me and said, "Great party, huh, Bella?"

I scoffed and rolled my eyes. "Yeah, great party," I said sarcastically. "I'm ready to go." I didn't care if she was following me; I walked out of that building as fast as my short little legs could carry me.

**Teaser for a review bbs :)**


	4. Bored and Lonely Weekend

Ginormous thanks to my LC – Alitriona/Eila, Allysue08, Rags88, Shereebedee, Spellboundagain, and Whatobsession17! You guys turn this crap into something worth reading! I heart you!

I'm still just leasing. I'm glad they lease for free, 'cause I'm broke!

I have a cute little song in this chapter that Bella blasts for Angela. You can check it out on my profile.

**Bored and Lonely Weekend**

_September 12, 2009_

I woke up feeling like I had been hit by a bus and then thrown in front of a train and then dropped from the Empire State Building. And to think, I hadn't touched a drop of alcohol the night before.

As I was gathering my things for a shower, I noticed I had missed a text on my phone. I had to admit that when I noticed it was from Edward I was both elated and a nervous wreck. I held my phone for a good three minutes debating on whether or not I really wanted to see what he had texted me after last night. Finally, I just bit the bullet and opened it.

_I'm starting to hate weekends. I'm bored and lonely. I miss our convos :( _

Okay, that was so far from what I had been expecting from him. First of all, I couldn't understand why he was already bored and lonely. I had noticed his text was sent at 6:45 in the freaking morning! Second of all…_how in the heck was he up at 6:45 after the night he'd had before? _

Apparently he didn't remember a thing from the night before because he was acting as if everything was just fine and dandy. My stomach twisted with thoughts of what else he might have done and forgotten. Clearing my head from those mental images, I started texting him back.

_I miss our convos, too. I am curious, though. How were you up so early this morning?_

A mere sixty seconds later, he responded.

_I get up by six every single morning, no matter when I go to bed. Lack of sleep doesn't bother me :)_

I grumbled to myself, "Evidently hangovers don't either."

I sent him a message saying I needed to hop in the shower and grab some breakfast, but I would text him once I was finished. I dropped my phone on my pillow and walked to the end of the hall to shower.

I turned the dial as high as I could stand it and just stood under the steaming hot stream as the water pelted against my aching muscles. I replayed the events from the previous evening repeatedly in my head until I started getting a stress headache. I had never had so much attention aimed at me in my entire life. I must say, I was not at all comfortable with it. And if I'd never see Edward under the influence again, it would be too soon. He was so incredibly out of character when he was drinking – not that he wasn't insanely hot, but he was just extremely…off. He wasn't the sweet, modest, reserved Edward I had grown to, well, like a whole freaking lot.

The water was starting to cool, alerting me that I needed to finish up, so I lathered and rinsed quickly, bypassing shaving my legs since I never wore shorts anyway, and turned off the water. I was drying off when I heard some girls walk into the room, giggling.

"I know! He is so hot! I wonder why he disappeared last night…I was totally gonna ask him if he wanted to do body shots on me," one girl said through her giggles.

"I don't know. I saw that skank from the bathroom talking to him just before he stormed out. She probably was putting the moves on him and he got sick thinking about seeing her naked," another girl cackled.

"Well, it doesn't matter. I'm sure he will be at plenty more parties and you will have your chance to have him dip his tongue in your belly button," a third girl snickered. "I just wish one of us had a class with him. I don't even know his name!"

I took my time drying off and getting dressed, in hopes of avoiding a face-to-face with Body Shot Girl. Obviously, they were referring to _me_ as the 'skank from the bathroom', therefore I was pretty sure a confrontation with them would end up ugly.

I heard them clear out and I high-tailed it back to my room where Angela had already started cleaning. I began helping her and decided to broach the subject of the party. I hadn't spoken about it the previous night because I was so incredibly agitated and I just wanted to go to bed.

"So…what happened to you last night? I searched for you everywhere. Oh, and by the way, I would like to thank you for ditching me at the door." I grinned at her letting her know I wasn't seriously mad, but I _had_ been rather irritated with her at the time.

"Oh, Bella! I was hoping you wouldn't still be mad at me!" Angela wrapped me in a tight hug. "I found Ben and we sat in the game room just talking. He is so sweet, Bella, I can't wait for you to meet him! He's absolutely perfect…I just adore him." I could almost see little cartoon hearts in her eyes.

"Game room? How in the heck had I missed the game room?" I really thought I'd managed to search the whole place.

"Oh, it's in the basement." She waved her hand as if it was common knowledge. "So, anyway, guess what?" Angela was literally bouncing on her toes as she waited for me to guess.

"Um…Ben promised to never ask you to a party again, so you will never need a quote-unquote 'wingman' again?"

Angela looked dumbfounded for a second and then giggled. "No, silly! Ben asked me to go to a movie and then to dinner with him tonight!"

I smiled sweetly. "Well, I'm happy for you. Really. You enjoy yourself while I do laundry and schoolwork." I elbowed her and chuckled. "Speaking of…do you want me to wash you a load while I do mine today? No sense in you having to make a trip when I am going to be there already." Our dorm had a laundry room in the basement, but it was clear at the far end of the hall from the elevator, as was our room, so we had to trudge our baskets quite a distance when we did our laundry.

"Actually, if you could wash my pink warm ups for me, I would be forever grateful!" She was already digging through her basket in her closet.

"Sure, no problem. Are you sure that's all that you will need? I have more than enough time on my hands today. I'm going to study while I wash clothes, so I can kill two birds with one stone. It doesn't matter how long I have to stay down there."

"Are you sure? I mean…you _reallllly_ don't mind?" She was looking at me as if she didn't believe me.

I laughed, "Just give me your darn laundry, you crazy girl."

I stuffed my hamper with all of my dirty clothes, filled my bookbag with everything I planned to study, and shoved my phone in my pocket. I waved to Angela and wished her good luck on her date and then made my way down to the basement. It was more of a hassle than I had intended. I had Angela's basket on one hip, my other arm was wrapped around my hamper and I had my bookbag hanging on one shoulder. It was quite a feat to walk a straight line – especially with my clumsy feet.

I finally reached the laundry room and loaded up the first washer with Angela's clothes and shut the lid. As I was reaching for my hamper, I felt my phone buzz in my pocket. I pulled it out and noticed I had two text messages. Both were from Edward. I was smiling like a loon as I opened the first text.

_You really shouldn't tease a guy like that, you know. Never mention shower to the male species. We are programmed to respond with specific mental images._

I almost dropped my phone when I read that text. I know I blushed twenty shades of red as I thought about Edward picturing me in a shower. Then I grinned even bigger thinking how he may have possibly _liked_ that picture.

The following text made me laugh.

_I'm sorry. That was out of line. I hope you didn't respond just because you were busy and not because you think I'm a pervert. Forgive me?_

I quickly messaged him back.

_Nothing to forgive, silly. I was *showering* and then headed down to the laundry room, books in tow for studying. What are you up to today?_

I had loaded the second washer with my clothes and sat down with my bag before Edward finally responded.

_Are you *trying* to kill me? I'd really like to remain demure around you, Umbella, but you are making that difficult! Lol. anyhoo, I'm just hanging out today._

I bit my lip to keep from squealing. It seems he _did_ like that picture. I contemplated flirting some more or dropping it and seeing where he would take the conversation. Having never been taught the art of flirting, I opted with dropping it.

_I'm sorry. *zips lips* So, you have no schoolwork to do today? Or are you just a rebel and going to skip your assignments this week? :P_

I opened my Physiology book. I decided to get the worst one out of the way first, so I would be less likely to put off the rest of my work. I took out my favorite pen and my already tattered notepad. I spread everything out before me and began turning the pages in my book. My phone buzzed, startling me and I inadvertently slammed my book shut. I totally forgot he would be texting me back. _Excuse me for having a very focused mind…_

I read his text three times before I finally responded. I thought I had to have misread it, but no amount of rereading could change what he said.

_Oh, I did all of my work last night. I just need to study for that Physiology test on Monday. So, slacker, how much work do you have to do? :P_

How in the world had he managed to get all of his schoolwork done before the party? And then I realized he must not have a classes on Fridays. I had never bothered to ask him his schedule before. I had been gone all day on Friday, thanks to Angela, so I hadn't even had time to unload my bag from Thursday.

_Lucky you. And, I'm not a slacker! I was gone all day yesterday, thank you very much :P I have work for 3 classes and studying for Phys. and calc. this weekend._

I started taking notes on my notepad, making sure to keep my phone on my textbook so I would remember he would be texting me back. I had jotted down several words before he replied.

_Ahh, I see. Well, I will let you to it. You can txt me when you are done if you want. Good luck. If you need help, you know how to find me ;)_

I sent a quick reply saying 'thanks, see ya smarty pants ;)' and then went back to my notes.

* * *

I had managed to get all of my studying done for my tests by the time I had our clothes washed, dried and folded. I packed up my stuff and went back to my room. One of my assignments had to be typed up, so I powered up the laptop and grabbed a soda out of my fridge, then flopped down on my bed. I was scrolling through my emails when I noticed one from my dad.

_bells hey how are you? i got your email yesteday thank you how are your classes gong? things are good here. boring as usual. everyone misses you esp me_

_luv dad_

_be good_

It was pretty obvious that my dad wasn't used to typing. He never punctuated or capitalized correctly and he frequently had typos. Nonetheless, I cherished every keystroke he devoted to me. I saved it to my folder labeled 'Dad' and then replied.

_Dad,_

_I see you are learning to email, I'm so proud of you! Now if we could just get you to make a capital letter! Lol. Have I told you lately how much I love you? I really do. I appreciate you coming out of your comfort zone to keep up communication with me. It means a great deal to me. I don't think I tell you enough how much you mean to me, and I'm really sorry for that._

_Classes are really good right now, however, it's a bit early to tell. My roommate, Angela, is great. I really have a lot of fun with her…and before you ask, it is good, clean fun, lol. I have made a couple of new friends. I'm thinking about starting a study group with them._

_I miss you, too, Dad…all of you back home. I'll call you tomorrow when I know you won't be hanging out on the Rez or at the station ;)_

_I luv you, Dad!_

_Bella_

I spent the next couple of hours working on the rest of my schoolwork, then I heated up a slice of pizza which I'd had in the fridge. I put away the clothes I had washed, and grabbed my journal. I hadn't written since Wednesday, so I made a few entries to catch up. Once I had written more than a sufficient amount of nonsense to account for three days, I closed my journal and crawled into bed. It was barely dark outside, but I was exhausted and completely stressed out. I had so many thoughts and feelings that had gone through me over the last few days and pouring them out into my journal just brought them all back to the surface – at that point I was just emotionally drained.

* * *

_September 13, 2009_

I opened my eyes at the buttcrack of dawn, thanks to going to bed so early the night before. I was in the shower within a few minutes of awakening, and back out almost as fast. When I came back to my room, Angela was still sleeping, so I made a brief trip to the grocery.

I grabbed a few things to restock my mini fridge and some breakfast hot pockets for Angela and myself, and then I stopped at the coffee shop on the way back to grab our morning caffeine fix.

Back in our room, Angela was still sleeping soundly. I popped the hot pockets in the microwave and searched for a certain video on youtube. Once I found it, I blared it through my external speakers I had hooked up to my laptop, because let's face it…a laptop doesn't 'blare'.

_**Summer's gone, days spent with the grass and sun**_

_**I don't mind, to pretend I do seems really dumb**_

_**I rise as the morning comes**_

Angela pulled the covers over her head and grumbled something unintelligible. However, once the chorus started playing, she started giggling and uncovered her face.

_**Wake up, it's a beautiful morning**_

_**Feel the sun shining in your eyes**_

_**Wake up it's so beautiful**_

_**For what could be the very last time**_

She raised up to a sitting position, but as the next words were sung she started laughing so hard that she threw her head straight back into her pillow.

_**Twenty-five I don't recall a time I felt this alive  
So WAKE UP BOO!  
There's so many things for us to do  
It's early so take your time**_

I grabbed her by the hand and pulled her into the middle of the floor to dance with me. We danced like a couple of characters from _The Wiggles. _By the end of the song we were laughing so hard that we were out of breath. We threw ourselves down on her bed and continued laughing heartily for several more minutes.

I quickly jumped up from her bed and ran to the microwave to grab our hot pockets. I had set our coffees beside it, so I grabbed them as well.

Angela thanked me profusely as we began eating. After a few bites she started grinning mischievously. I narrowed my eyes at her, because that look could not be good.

"So, Bella…there's another party this coming weekend, would you –"

I was already shaking my head and raising my hand to stop her, "Absolutely not! I still haven't even told you what I went through at the last party! It was horrible. You have no idea."

She looked at me consolingly. "Well, why don't you tell me about it and maybe it's something we can avoid next time." _There's not gonna __**be**__ a next time…_

"Well, I know you saw that guy that bombarded me at the front door…" She nodded. "Well, what you _didn't_ see, because you ditched me…" I stuck out my tongue and continued, "is that he was basically dry humping me against the wall! I had to slam my head into his nose to get him to back off. It was humiliating."

"Oh, Bella, I had no idea! I am so sorry. I should never have left you. I will _never_ do that again, I swear to you." She smiled sadly.

"Well, I played it off like it was an accident so it didn't appear like I was a tease, when in fact I hadn't even been friendly with him. But, the good news from that incident is that I met Emmett and he seemed like a really great guy."

Angela started wiggling her eyes suggestively. "Really? Soooo…did you give him your number?"

I shook my head and snorted, "No, Angela! I'm not interested in him in that way. I already told you that I am very attracted to Edward. Oh that reminds me! Edward was at the party! Did you see him? He looked delicious! Like, seriously…I almost wanted to eat him!" I fanned myself and smiled. "However, he was acting very strange. I don't think I like him intoxicated. And what's even worse is I don't think he even realizes he saw me that night. He has acted just like everything is just hunky dory…and he stormed out on me that night, so I would think he would at least have apologized. Therefore he has to have forgotten everything about that night, right?"

"Well, from everything you have told me about Edward, I would have to say that yes, he must not remember, because he is way too much of a gentleman to not apologize for that. So, at what point did he actually storm off?"

"Well, it was incredibly odd. I had looked all over for you and even went to the bathroom for a while to hide out. I could have sworn I heard Edward shouting at the door for me to get out, but when I came out he was nowhere to be found. I thought maybe I had imagined him just because I wanted someone to talk to so desperately. So, I looked around for you one more time – and had more advances from drunken perverts – and just as I was getting ready to leave I saw Edward on the other side of the room. I started to walk toward him and he caught sight of me and started looking at me like a carnivorous beast! Oh man, it was so freaking sexy! He continued to look like he wanted to devour me the closer I walked toward him. However, when I stood in front of him and said 'hello' and that I hadn't expected to see him there, he huffed and walked out. I don't get it."

"Maybe he thought you were saying that you had hoped he wasn't there or something, and then it hurt his feelings thinking you didn't want to see him? I don't know. Guys are so hormonal. I think that sometimes they are worse than a girl with PMS." She giggled and shook her head.

"You know…that never crossed my mind. I bet you're right! We have been hanging out a lot lately and if it seemed like I didn't want to run into him at a party, yeah, that might have ticked him off…or at least upset him. So I probably shouldn't bring it up with him then, especially since he obviously doesn't remember," I sighed.

We finished eating our breakfast and turned on some cleaning music and began cleaning the room. We had made a promise to each other that we would do our normal cleaning on a daily basis, but on Sundays, we would deep clean – you know; empty all the trash bins, vacuum the floors, dust, organize our desks – which get entirely out of hand – and clean out our mini fridges.

Once we were finished cleaning, Angela went out to lunch with her sister and I finished up the small amount of schoolwork I had left, and then quickly checked my emails before I called my dad.

He answered on the second ring, "Bells! I'm so glad you called. It's so quiet here. I miss hearing your voice."

_Wow…that was extremely unexpected._

My eyes started to tear up from that admission. I never knew Charlie was such a sentimental guy. "Hey, Dad! I miss hearing your voice, too. I don't have anyone to yell at me and tell me I'm to stop being so immature," I laughed.

"Oh, baloney! I have never told you that you were immature, and you know it. You have always been more mature than most _adults_ I know, let alone teenagers," he chuckled.

"I know, Dad, but I can't be all sappy and tell you that I miss your sweet and kind voice, you know. I have a reputation to uphold here," I huffed jokingly.

"So," Charlie sighed. "I got your email thingy yesterday. Can you tell me what lol means? In all my forty years I have never heard that word before."

I started giggling, and it quickly escalated to a full-out cackle. He had pronounced lol phonetically instead of as individual letters and it sounded ridiculous. I couldn't quit laughing – I even snorted a couple times. "No…it means…" I laughed again. "It means laugh out loud." I was still laughing in between words.

"How does lol mean laugh out loud? That doesn't make sense," he grunted.

_Bless his heart, he takes things so literal._

"L equals laugh, O equals out, L equals loud. L-O-L, laugh out loud," I explained.

He finally got it but he thought it was just silly, so I explained that how would he know I was laughing if I didn't say it. He then, in turn, asked why he would need to know if I was laughing. I decided to drop the subject – it could have gone on all night. I asked him about our friends on the Rez and his buddies at the station. He spent a good twenty minutes talking about everyone. I knew right then and there that he needed someone to talk to more often, so I vowed to call him mid-week as well. As I had mentioned before, Charlie is a man of few words, so twenty minutes of speaking is unheard of from that man.

I went into a bit more detail about my classes and friends I had met and just college life in general. Charlie didn't seem to get the least bit bored by my ramblings. He commented and laughed where appropriate, and asked questions if he was unsure of something. It was probably the longest conversation I had had with him in my entire life.

Eventually, the call was coming to an end, so I said my 'I love you' and 'talk to you soon' and Dad said, "Okay, Bells. I love you, too. Oh and Bells?" _Don't do it, Charlie…_ "Happy birthday! Talk to you soon." He hung up before I could even reprimand him. I just knew he couldn't go without saying it. I was just thankful that he didn't draw it out and make a big deal of it.

My mom used to make a big deal of birthdays and since she wasn't around to do it anymore, I didn't want anyone to. I think for the most part, Dad preferred it that way as well. He was never much of a celebratory kind of guy anyway.

I placed my phone on my desk and began eating an early dinner. I had taken three bites when my phone buzzed with a text message from Edward.

_Umbella, I hope you are having a great Sunday. I look forward to seeing you bright eyed and bushy tailed in the morning ;) _

Smiling, I typed back,

_How long are you gonna pick on me for stuttering like a buffoon when we first met? lol & idk about bright eyed and bushy tailed…mornings aren't my forte ;)_

I waited impatiently for him to text back. It took nearly fifteen minutes, which was highly unusual for Edward.

_Is that what you think? That I'm picking on you? I'm sorry. I've never meant it rudely. I think it is an adorable name for you. If it bothers you, I'll stop. :(_

Adorable? Hmm. Now, that could be a good thing or a really bad thing. Kittens are adorable, but I don't want to be like a kitten to Edward. Edward was, however, a bit of a nerd – scratch that, he was more than a bit of a nerd (what can I say? I really like nerds!) – so it's possible that he was trying to be suave somehow by having an adorable nickname for me.

_This boy stuff is way too complicated!_

I finally just said the first thing that popped into my head.

_No, you don't have to stop. I just thought you were poking fun. I don't mind it at all. So…you gonna be bright and bushy as well? If I have to be, so do you! :)_

Less than a minute later he responded with the absolute sweetest thing ever.

_If it means I can see you smiling, then definitely. It will be entirely worth it. ;)_

**A teaser for a review my lovelies.**


	5. Can You Say Awkward?

Again, thanks to my LC – Alitriona/Eila, Allysue08, Rags88, Shereebedee, Spellboundagain, and Whatobsession17. I'd also like to add Revrag to the crew. She began helping me this week as well. Although she almost had me quit writing permanently…LOL! Just kidding, she is great, she just likes to tell it like it is and well…it was crap! HA!

I hope my lease doesn't have an expiration date on it, because I'm still not done with these characters.

**Can you say Awk-ward?**

_September 14, 2009_

I fell asleep with a smile on my face after the text from Edward, and still had it upon waking the next morning. I should also mention that I was up a good twenty minutes before my alarm went off. I decided I would take the extra time to make myself look 'bright-eyed and bushy tailed' if that was at all possible. I was never one to wear makeup, but I decided to add a bit of blush and lip gloss to look a little perkier and hopefully make Edward notice.

I took my time getting ready – changing clothes three times – and I still was too early to head to class. I decided to hop on and send Dad a quick email just to let him know I was thinking of him and then I made my way to the coffee shop. I tried to walk slowly, in order to delay my arrival, but I wasn't even remotely accomplishing that.

I still ended up sitting in my seat fifteen minutes before class pulling at the hem of my shirt nervously. Don't ask me why I was nervous, I have no freaking clue.

I was digging through my bag when I heard the door open and I had a sudden sense of déjà vu. I rose up smiling, but my smile faded when I noticed it wasn't Edward; it was Emmett. He saw me, a smile spreading across his face, and he came trudging up the stairs toward me. He plopped right down in Edward's seat.

"Hey there! You really _are_ in my class, huh? Bella, right?" He placed his hand on my shoulder in a friendly manner.

I smiled and nodded. "Yep. Good memory. I'm surprised you remember anything after that party."

He looked shocked. "Shoot, I didn't drink but a couple of beers. I am in charge of keeping order, so I have to stay coherent enough to chaperone any parties, otherwise the IFC will close our fraternity."

That was a surprise. Emmett totally looked like a guy who liked to party. I was really starting to think Emmett was going to be someone who I would enjoy hanging out with. He was such a great guy from what I could tell.

"Ahh, gotcha!" I grinned and held my thumb and forefinger in the shape of a gun while clicking my tongue.

The room started to fill and I was getting nervous because Emmett was still sitting in Edward's seat. He was chatting away about anything and everything and making me laugh repeatedly. In the middle of one of my laughing fests, I looked up and saw Edward entering the room. He looked right at me with a huge grin on his face but when he slid his eyes in the direction of his seat, he froze. Emmett was oblivious and continued to joke rather loudly.

Edward lowered his eyes and slumped his shoulders. It wasn't enough for anyone else to notice, but enough for me to feel like being punched in the gut. My heart broke as I watched him slide into another seat in defeat.

_No! No! NO! This was not supposed to happen!_

The professor came in and the room got quiet. I discreetly pulled out my cell and texted Edward.

_hey! Why are you sitting down there? This is your seat, Emmett would have moved. :(_

I listened to the lecture until I felt my phone buzz.

_That's okay, I didn't want to interrupt, you looked like you were having fun._

Oh no! This could not be happening! He must have thought I wanted Emmett to sit there. I had to remedy this.

_He just planted himself in your seat, I didn't tell him to sit there :( We are still going for coffee, right? Plz say yes! ;)_

I started to get worried when he didn't respond right away until I looked up and he was elaborately answering the professor's question. I then noticed I hadn't been paying attention to the lecture whatsoever. This whole guy/girl nonsense was for the birds. I never had a problem focusing in class before. I take that back – science was hard for me to focus on, but let's just say I was never easily distracted. That was before Edward…and his green eyes…and his gorgeous smile…and his sexy glasses (which I wish he had been wearing right then)…and his…

Luckily my phone buzzed pulling me from my thoughts, which were heading in a very x-rated direction.

_Of course we can go for coffee if you still want to. Are you sure you don't have plans?_

Plans? Oh my God! He thought I was interested in Emmett!

_lol, no, my only plans are coffee breaks with you…they are the highlights of my week ;)_

I took a deep breath contemplating if I really wanted to divulge that much info about how I felt for him. Then I thought that it might not necessarily be giving information about my feelings; I could just be very lame and have no life. Well, _that_ was true, too. Finally, I hit send.

Edward didn't respond via text. He simply turned toward me and gave me a breathtaking smile and nodded. I replied with a grin and a bright red face… _of course._

Once the lecture was over, Emmett turned to me and said, "Well, Bella, it's been fun. I guess I'll see you in class on Thursday."

I smiled. "Sure, Emmett. However, you might want to sit on _this_ side." I motioned to the seat on the opposite side of me, "because you kinda took my friend Edward's seat today." I grinned and giggled, nodding my head toward Edward, who was waiting for me by the door.

"Oh man, I am so sorry! Why didn't you just say something? I feel so bad now." Then he shocked me by belting, "Dude, I didn't mean to intrude. I won't take your seat again, scout's honor."

I laughed when he said, 'scout's honor' because Emmett as a boy scout was epically hilarious.

Edward grinned awkwardly and nodded once.

Emmett patted me on the shoulder and said as softly as his booming voice could go, "I really _am_ sorry about that, Bella. I will sit on the other side next time." He grinned a big toothy grin.

* * *

Edward and I walked to the coffee shop and ordered our cappuccino and croissant as usual. We were discussing our Physiology assignment that was due the following week, so I opened my bag to grab my notebook because I wanted to ask Edward's opinion on something. My notebook snagged on my zipper _(stupid twisted spiral piece….ugh!)_ and it fell out of my hand onto the floor. Just as Edward reached down to retrieve it for me, I noticed on what page it had opened, and I nearly fell out of my chair. It was too late to grab it. The damage had been done. Edward recovered nicely, by quickly closing the book, but I could tell he saw it. His face was blood red and he was biting the insides of his cheeks, trying so hard not to smile.

I had no clue how to come out of this embarrassment unscathed. We could ignore the giant pink elephant in the room, which is what I reallllly wanted to do, or we could laugh it off and continue with our everyday life. Then again, what if he never wanted to speak to me again after seeing that. This was beyond humiliating. Why, oh why, out of a hundred and fifty pages in my notebook did it have to open to the one and only page I didn't want Edward to see? _Because the world hates me._

Edward handed me the notebook and I took it from him with shaking hands. I couldn't look him in the eye, so I had no clue if he was looking at me or not. I was simply waiting for him to run for the hills – or worse, laugh at me and send _me_ running for the hills.

So when he spoke the next words, I was not only surprised, I thought I was hallucinating. Yes, I did tend to think I hallucinate a lot. Had I ever hallucinated for real? No. I would probably die of a heart attack if I ever actually did. Anyway, back to the point; Edward spoke. To me. After seeing…_that._

"So, Bella…" Edward was rolling his fork between his thumb and forefinger nervously. "Can you…I mean, do you…no, _would_ you like to go out with me this weekend?"

You know, I had heard the saying, 'a deer caught in headlights' and I had seen a literal deer caught in headlights, but I would guarantee that that was mild compared to the look I was giving Edward at that very moment. What kind of world is this when you like a guy and really want to have a relationship with him and all it takes for him to pursue said relationship is for him to see a dirty picture you drew…of him. Yes, I drew a dirty picture…well, by my standards…although you 'worldly' people might think it was mild. Call me a prude, call me a goody two-shoes, you can even call me a fuddy-duddy, I don't care. I just don't think a picture of a guy looking over his shoulder at me – in super sexy glasses, by the way – and licking his luscious…um, I mean licking his lips in a very provocative manner while wearing a pair of jeans that looked like they were painted on his firm little behind with the letters 'SE' on one pocket and 'XY' on the other pocket would be considered a clean picture…well, at least not in the PG-rated world of Bella. _Man, I needed to get out more…_

I looked up to see Edward looking over my shoulder making a very strange face. I looked behind me and caught sight of the Body Shot Brigade coming into the coffee shop. Did I say the world hates me? That was an understatement.

The skanks started walking right toward us. Lauren flipped her hair and smiled what I think was supposed to have been seductive…but I will be honest with you…if that was seductive, I don't ever wanna look that way. She pushed her chest forward and leaned down where her chest was almost directly in Edward's face. His eyes bulged and he leaned back. I could smell her overly flowery perfume permeating the air around her and I thought I was going to gag. Edward looked like he was, too, because the poor thing had a look on his face like he just swallowed a worm.

Lauren put her hand on Edward's shoulder. "Hey there. I've seen you around and I have been waiting to run into you again. My name's Lauren."

Edward looked at her like she had just grown horns out of her head…wait, I think she actually _was_ growing horns out of her head. "Um…hello, Laura. I'm Edward, and this is Bella." He pointed directly at me, but she didn't take her eyes off him. He glanced over at me as if he wanted me to say something, but there wasn't a thing I wanted to say to her except, "Get your claws off of my man!" and since that wouldn't be exactly appropriate, I just looked right back at him telling him the ball was in his court.

Lauren leaned down on her elbows so she was almost nose to nose with Edward. He was really looking uncomfortable at this point, but she didn't seem to mind one bit. "Actually, it's Lauren." She smiled sardonically. "So, Edward, I was wondering if you would like to hang out this weekend?"

Edward gulped and blinked quickly a few times. "Uh, well, actually, I have a date this weekend," he nodded toward me – nearly causing my heart to jump right out of my chest – and then looked back at her with a smirk, "so, I'm afraid I will have to pass."

Lauren scoffed and jerked her head toward me nearly snarling, "Her? You have plans with _her_ this weekend?"

One of the BSB behind her said, "As if!"

Edward raised his chin proudly and said, "Yes, yes I do. Now, if you'll excuse us, Laura, we were kind of in the middle of a conversation."

"Whatever!" She snapped into a standing position, giving me a look that put Medusa to shame.

The trio walked off with separate comments; "I can't believe him!" and "What could he _possibly_ see in her?" and the best one was, "She must have brainwashed him." My self-esteem, which had risen to the roof, plummeted straight back to the ground.

Then everything hit me all at once. Edward had just called Lauren _Laura_ – and I knew he hadn't forgetten her name – and then he even went on to tell her he was going out with _ME_ this weekend. He basically asked her to butt out of our conversation. My look of total shock had resurfaced and I was staring open-mouthed again.

Edward quickly started backtracking, "I'm sorry…I shouldn't have assumed…I mean, I just thought with the," he nodded toward my notebook. _Lord, help me now…_ "You know…that you were…I'm sorry. Forget I said anything."

I quickly shook my head, waking up my brain before I missed out on the one thing I had been wanting from the very beginning. "Edward, no! I mean, don't be sorry. I would love to go out with you this weekend." I smiled and finally looked him in the eye. He looked completely shocked.

"Really?" His face lit up like a neon sign.

"Of course," I explained, "I just…you caught me off guard. I have never been asked out before." I mumbled the last part and looked down at my hands in embarrassment. I had to look like a complete freak, being eighteen and never having been asked out on a date before, let alone to have actually _gone_ on one.

Edward reached across the table and placed his hand on mine. "Bella, don't be embarrassed. I…well, I have never actually _asked_ a girl out before, to be honest."

I jerked my head up in surprise. "Are you serious?" He nodded and shrugged one shoulder. "But…but you…you're so…"

He looked at me questioningly. "I'm so what?"

_Me and my big fat mouth…_

I barely spoke above a whisper, "youresogoodlooking." My face was so red that I could feel the heat emanating from it. I sat there for what felt like hours waiting for him to respond and he never did. I was getting more nervous by the second. I finally chanced a glance at him and he looked like a gaping fish. When he noticed I was looking, he closed his mouth, licked his lips and grinned shyly.

"I was thinking the very same thing, Bella. You are more than beautiful, how is it that no one has ever taken advantage of…wait, I don't mean it like that. I mean, how is it possible that you aren't already taken?" Edward began to trace circles on the palm of my hand and I realized he had never let go. We stared into each others eyes for a few minutes while he continued to caress my hand. I could feel the blush rising and was shocked to see Edward's cheeks had a pink tint on them as well.

My phone rang, alerting me of a text, and scared the freaking crap out of me, which caused me to kick Edward in the shin. He 'oomph'ed and bit his upper lip in pain. I immediately started apologizing to which he groaned out a, "Don't worry, it's okay," but it didn't _sound_ okay.

I felt awful. We had been having a moment. You know those kinds of moments you see on television where the guy and the girl just stare at each other and you think they must feel incredibly awkward but neither one of them could look away? Yeah, one of those moments. I can honestly say, even though I was blushing because I couldn't believe Edward was holding my hand, I was not, in any way, feeling awkward. It was…romantic. Wow. I had my first _romantic_ moment. I mentally slapped myself. _It only took eighteen years, you big loser._

"Are you okay, Edward? I am so sorry! So very sorry. I can't believe I did that. Actually, yes I can. My dad could never take me to any important events because I am a fumbling mess when I'm nervous, heck, I'm a fumbling mess when I'm _not_ nervous, who am I kidding? Anyway, he had to miss out on so many activities, and I always felt so bad because my dad was the Chief of Police in Forks and he should be able to go to these events and not have to worry about how his daughter will behave. He shouldn't have to…" It became clear to me that I had just suffered a case of word vomit and I needed to shut up before I pushed him away.

But Edward, bless his heart, was smiling and slowly shaking his head. "I highly doubt that your dad turned down invitations to places that he actually _wanted_ to go to, Bella. He is a father…a father is proud of his daughter no matter what. If he wanted to go to those events, he would have gone, trust me. You weren't the reason for him to stay home. Actually, maybe you were, but not in the way you think. He probably just wanted to spend time with you instead of those strangers who were most likely nothing but a bunch of pompous, pretentious egomaniacs."

My phone began ringing again, but this time it wasn't a text. I glanced down and saw it was my dad. _Speak of the devil._

"Speak of the devil." I grinned at Edward. "Excuse me for just a minute, please." I pushed the talk button and started speaking to my dad. He was having issues with his computer and couldn't figure out how to log into his email. I told him I was with a friend I would call him back as soon as I was back at my room. Then it dawned on me that it was mid-afternoon and he should still be at work.

"Dad? Why are you at home? Shouldn't you be at work?"

"Well, yeah…but…I had something I wanted to email you…and I was afraid I would forget if I waited until I got off work, so I stopped by while I had my lunch.

_My dad. Had something. He wanted to email me…seriously?_

"Well, what is it? You can just tell me, then you don't have to worry with your computer until later," I explained.

"No…no, this is something you need to see." I could hear the grin in his voice. My dad was not a jokester. My dad rarely cracked a smile, and yet, my dad was sending me an email that made him grin to think about. I didn't know whether to be elated or petrified.

I told him I would be home in about and hour and I would help him then. We ended the call and I took a drink of my cappuccino.

Edward was looking at me with a grin in his eyes. "What's funny?"

I cocked my head. "Funny? Why do you think something is funny?"

"Well," he started, "you have a look like you are getting ready to laugh about something. It's actually rather captivating."

"What's captivating?" I asked, taken aback.

Edward looked at me with a look of…well, it almost looked like adoration, but that couldn't be right, could it? His eyes were sparkling when he grinned and said, "The look you have when you're getting ready to laugh."

I lowered my eyes. It was obvious my face was going to stay red for the remainder of the lunch with Edward. "Actually, I was just thinking about my dad. I taught him how to use his computer and email so we could communicate while I am away. He acted like it was a horrible idea and he was hesitant to have anything to do with it. However, he just told me he has something he wants to email me and I can't for the life of me imagine what it would be because I could tell he was grinning when he told me. You have to know…my dad rarely smiles. It's not that he is mean or tough, it's just that to be taken seriously as a Chief of Police, you need to be serious all the time…so he has become accustomed to keeping a straight face. It takes a lot to make him smile."

"Well," Edward twisted his mouth to the side, "I bet that will be an interesting email. You'll have to tell me about it."

I nodded thoughtfully. "Yeah, so long as it isn't something humiliating for me, because then I will plead the fifth!"

We talked for a few more minutes until he had to go to his next class. We stood up and threw our things away and just as we were about to part ways, Edward stopped. He had his eyebrows pulled together and was biting his lip. He was staring at the ground. I wasn't sure what he was waiting for, but it was evident that he had something on his mind.

I reached out and put my hand on his forearm and said, "I really enjoy our lunches, Edward, and I'm really looking forward to our…" I gulped, because it felt really weird to say the following word, "date this weekend."

Edward's face brightened up and he placed his other hand on mine and said, "I am too, Bella. Honestly. Thank you for accepting my invitation."

If he only knew how much of a pleasure it was for _me_, he would know he didn't need to thank me. Not one single bit.

**Salary is to work as teaser is to review.**


	6. It's Just Like LunchWith More Food

When I go to thank my LC every week, I feel like a rapper giving a shout out to my gang or something. Cracks me up every freaking time.

Anyhoo, I obvs want to thank them, so: Huge, ginormous hugs and kisses to my LC – Alitriona/Eila, Allysue08, Rags88, Revrag, Shereebedee, Spellboundagain, and WhatObsession17. (Have you noticed they are in alpha order? I can't put them in order of importance because that would just be one jumbled mess of letters and make no sense. LOL!)

I checked, and my lease still isn't up.

Just a bit more fluff before we get to the angst. Hold on tight!

**It's just like lunch…with more food.**

_September 15, 2009_

I was a bundle of nerves on my way to Physiology – well, that's putting it mildly. The previous day, after my lunch with Edward, I had gone home and checked the infamous email my dad had sent to me. I nearly died of embarrassment when I opened it. Evidently, someone from the station had given my dad their old scanner and even taught him how to use it. If that wasn't a big enough shocker, the fact that he had been going through old family photos _was._

Dad had scanned and emailed me a picture from when I was only five years old. It was from a day on the Rez where I was playing with my very best friend growing up, Jacob Black. He and I were only six months apart and we did everything together. And I mean everything. On that particular day we had just been swimming and were sitting in the sand playing. We'd had buckets, shovels, bowls, cups and paintbrushes. Yes, paintbrushes. We liked to swirl the sand with them and make different designs.

My mom had been taking pictures of everyone and everything because she had just gotten a new camera for her birthday. She had come across us playing side by side and zoomed in to take a picture. It wasn't until she pulled the camera away from her face that she realized of what she had just taken a picture.

"Isabella Marie Swan!! What do you think you are doing?" she had screamed.

I had jumped and started crying because she had scared me. She had bent down and wrapped her arms around me, apologizing for screaming, but said she really needed to know what I thought I was doing.

"Jake doesn't look like me, Mommy, so I was trying to paint him and make us look alike." I sniffled.

Yes, I had been using a paintbrush on Jacob's…er…_private_ area. Mom and Dad had a good laugh about it afterward and they had put the picture up with the rest of our family photos. They had brought it out every so often just to torture me. Once Mom was gone, I had only seen it once, and that was when Dad tried to find a picture of my Aunt for my cousin to have enlarged for her funeral. That day we ran across the picture and had a bit of a nostalgic moment. We had pushed it aside quickly, because it reminded us of who had taken the picture and we hadn't wanted want to go down that road on that particular day.

So, that would have been fine and dandy, no harm no foul, right? But remember, the world hates me. I had hit reply to tell my dad thanks for the effort of communication and the attempt to humiliate me. I had also congratulated him on learning a new piece of technology. I had signed off and hit send. I had done a quick double take because I could have sworn that the recipient's email was incorrect.

I had opened my sent items folder to see what had happened and I had literally screamed out loud, "OH MY GOD! NO!!!! WHY ME????"

Don't ask me how I did it. It had to have been subconsciously, because I emailed him more than anyone else. I don't know how or why. All I know is that at that very moment I would have given anything for the entire internet to freeze, or well, at least let me take back the email I just sent.

I had typed up another email as fast as my little hands could type. Let me tell you, sixty-nine words per minute was _not_ fast enough! I had written "**URGENT READ NOW!!!" **as the subject.

_Edward,_

_Hey, I just accidentally forwarded my dad's email to you and I meant to reply to him. Please just ignore it. Please, please, please don't read it!_

_Thanks,_

_Bella_

So there I was, sitting in Physiology, hoping and praying that Edward hadn't opened the email to my dad. I was pretty sure that if he had read the URGENT one first he would have granted my wishes and not read the other one. Again, I was _pretty_ sure. I mean, how well could I really have known the guy already? _Oh please, let him be as honest as he seems!!_

As soon as Edward walked into the room, I had my answer. He looked right at me, and when he noticed I was looking back, he immediately averted his eyes and swallowed nervously. He didn't miss a beat as he walked toward me, but I knew by his lack of eye contact he had seen the email. And he was ashamed to admit it.

He sat in his seat – which was now beside me, thanks to a bit of begging and pleading to fellow classmates – and began pulling out his supplies. He had always addressed me, and his lack of doing so was even more evidence.

"There's no sense in trying to hide it, Edward. I can read you like a book. You saw it. I've accepted it. Let's move on." I sighed in defeat…or was it humiliation? Maybe a bit of both.

"I'm sorry, Bella, honest. I opened it as soon as it hit my inbox. I didn't see your warning until it was too late. I swear! You know I would never do that on purpose." Poor guy looked like I was going to bite his head of or something.

"I believe you, Edward. And besides, I can't get mad at _you_, it was my mistake. It's just humiliating, is all."

Edward looked at me comfortingly and said, "Please don't be embarrassed. It was a childhood picture; you can't help what was done as a child." He smiled and added, "But I would love for you to explain to me how you knew about body painting at such a young age."

"Edward! It wasn't like _that_…well, not _exactly_ like that at least. It's just that Jake and I were best friends and I was upset that he looked different than me, so I wanted to paint him to look like me." I rolled my eyes and shook my head.

Edward twisted in his seat so that the lower part of his body was pointed away from me and he looked horrified. "Should I be worried? I mean…do you do that to all of your guy friends?" He then started snickering.

I slapped his arm and spat, "Jerk!" However, I laughed along with him.

* * *

_September 19, 2009_

The rest of the week had gone by uneventful, as usual. Edward and I had spent our coffee times laughing and joking or discussing schoolwork. He didn't bring up the picture again and I was extremely grateful.

The day of my very first date ever, I awoke to a text from Edward.

_This is your last chance to back out. After this, resistance is futile!_

I grinned and quickly texted him back.

_Back out? Never! If Spock were here, he'd say that I was an irrational, illogical human being for going on a mission like this....... Sounds like fun!_

Edward responded almost immediately.

_Definitely ;) Pick you up at 7_

The rest of the day had my stomach in knots. Having never been on a date, I wasn't quite sure what was to be expected of me. I mean, I knew the logistics of dates, I **did** watch television, you know. But, I just wasn't sure how to interact with Edward. We had been having friendly meetings for a while and I enjoyed them immensely, but at this point we were heading down the romantic route and that was unknown territory for me.

Angela noticed how nervous I was as I was getting ready later in the day. She grabbed me by the hand and led me to sit on her bed.

"Bella, what's wrong? I can tell you are all kinds of freaked out right now."

I started wringing my hands in my lap and sighed, "I've never done this before, Angela. I don't know how to act. What if I make a fool of myself?"

Angela smiled and wrapped her arm around my shoulders. "Bella, you have been having lunches with Edward for quite some time now and you have never had any problems, right? This is just like lunch…just with more food!" She giggled. "But seriously, just be yourself. Obviously, Edward likes being around you or he wouldn't have asked you out on a _real_ date. He likes you just the way you are. What more can you ask for? You don't have to be fake. You don't have to try to impress him. You have already done that. Just enjoy yourself."

I leaned my head on her shoulder and let out a deep breath. "I know. It's just…well, do we hold hands? Will we have a goodnight kiss? I have never done _any_ of this before. I really like Edward. A whole freaking lot. I don't want to ruin things."

Angela squeezed my shoulder as she spoke the next words, "You just have to go with the flow on that one, Bella. If you are comfortable holding his hand, then go for it. Yes, usually there is a kiss at the end of the night, but again, this goes along with the 'being comfortable' aspect as well."

"Thanks, Angela. Even though I still have no clue what to expect, but now I'm prepared to expect the unexpected." I giggled.

Angela helped me to get 'dolled up', as my dad would say, since this was the first time in my life I had ever actually attempted to try to be pretty. She helped me pick something simple and yet, amazingly, it helped make me look so much more attractive. I was ready to take on the world. Ok, not really, but I was confident. Ok, well, not really again, but let's say I was as ready as I would ever be. Yeah, that's more like it.

At 6:45 my palms started to sweat. I started pacing and mumbling, "I can't do this," repeatedly.

Angela reassured me that I could, in fact, do that. She then told me to 'man up' and had a bit of a laughing fit about that.

I thought I heard a noise outside of our room, so I opened the door just in time to catch Edward walking away. I thought maybe he was having second thoughts, so I immediately started to worry. However, I then realized he wasn't walking away, he was pacing. As he turned around and quickly glanced at his watch, he noticed me.

"I'm…I was kinda early. I didn't want to be late, and I was too early. I'm sorry. If you're not ready, I can come back." Well, the fact that Edward was apparently as nervous as I was made me feel ten times better.

"Don't be silly, I don't want you to come back. I've been ready for far too long, anyway. I'm more than ready to go." I smiled and grabbed my purse.

Just as I was getting ready to close the door, Angela gave me a 'thumbs up' and winked.

Edward just looked at me for a moment and then smiled. "You look wonderful, Bella. Really," he said, smiling. His smile quickly morphed into a wicked grin and he added, "However, I must apologize." He twisted just enough so that his magnificent bum was within my sight and he nodded towards it. Before I could even ask what that was about he continued with, "I'm fresh out of 'sexy' pants."

"Edward!" I huffed and crossed my arms over my chest, blushing and grinning. "Can we just forget that ever happened? Please?" I pleaded.

With a very serious face, he said, "No. Sorry." My mouth dropped opened and he tapped his temple with his forefinger and said, "Photographic memory. It's there forever. For. Ev. Er." He even drew it out with that creepy voice just like Squints did in 'The Sandlot'.

Edward started laughing and took me by the hand, saying, "Let's get out of here, Umbella, I'm starving." And just like that, we were holding hands. It wasn't the least bit awkward. It was comfortable, just like Angela had said. And I was in seventh heaven.

Once we reached the sidewalk outside of the dorm, I slowed, looking at Edward, because we hadn't established our mode of transport yet.

Edward realized my reluctance and turned toward me saying, "I thought we would walk. It's not that far, and it's a beautiful night. Our reservations aren't until 7:30, so we have time, if you are okay with that."

"Of course." I smiled, and we began walking in comfortable silence.

Once we reached the restaurant a few minutes later, Edward led me inside with his hand on the small of my back. It sent shivers up and down my spine, having him touching me in such a romantic manner.

"Cullen," he told the hostess and smiled sweetly at me. I noticed the hostess' eyes widen when she looked up at him. Since he wasn't paying attention, she took a brief moment to check him out from head to toe. Obviously liking what she saw, she bit her lip and then checked the book.

"Table for two. Right this way, please."

As we started toward her, Edward slipped his fingers through mine once again. I couldn't help grinning to myself. I relished the feeling of his touch and I wanted to never let go.

The restaurant wasn't crowded, so when the hostess began leading us to an empty table at the front of the room, Edward stopped her. "Actually, could we please have that booth in the back? It's a bit more private."

I saw a momentary look of disgust on her face, as if my being with Edward was repulsive, but she led us to the back nonetheless.

Edward sat across from me and took his menu from the hostess. She informed us that our server would be with us shortly and retreated back to her station.

I held my menu, but it might as well have been written in Greek because I was completely unable to focus on anything on the page.

A tall, statuesque blonde came to our table smiling and introduced herself. "Hello, I am Rosalie. I will be your server this evening. Can I get you something to drink for starters?"

Edward looked up and smiled politely and ordered a root beer then motioned for me to order. It took me a second to get my bearings and I ordered the same. Once Rosalie disappeared around the corner Edward gave me an odd look.

"Is something wrong, Bella?"

I shook my head and smiled. "No, I just…well, most guys would have gawked at our server, but you paid no mind to her, and I 'm a bit stunned."

Edward opened and closed his mouth several times before he finally spoke softly, "I don't need to look at anyone else. I rather enjoy what I already have in front of me." He smiled in embarrassment and looked down toward his lap.

To say I was shocked would be an understatement. Only in the Twilight Zone would someone rather look at plain ole Geekella than drop-dead gorgeous Rosalie.

I didn't have time to respond before Rosalie was back giving us our drinks. She took our order – I ordered the first thing on the menu, and had no freaking clue what it was – and whisked away yet again.

Edward leaned forward in a secretive manner and I followed suit without thinking. He whispered, "Besides, I prefer brunettes." He smiled his captivating smile.

I had to have been fifteen shades of red by this point and I could barely breathe. My heart was beating so loudly that I was almost sure he could hear it. I bit my lip and lowered my head. I didn't even know how to respond to that. Luckily, I didn't need to. Edward must have noticed my discomfort because he quickly changed the subject.

"Did you manage to get all of your homework done already or do you have to work some more on it tomorrow? Because, well…I thought that maybe if you needed to, we could work together tomorrow. That is, if you are okay with it."

I smiled brightly. "I'd really like that. I wasn't able to get any work done because I just couldn't concentrate, so I have way too much to do."

For the next few minutes, we discussed the different assignments we each had left to do (it seemed Edward had also been unable to concentrate on his work). Then I decided to bring up something that had been eating at me for weeks.

"Edward, can I ask you something?" I asked him hesitantly.

He grinned and said, "You actually just did."

I rolled my eyes and snorted. "Yeah, you're right, but I'm gonna ask you another one, like it or not." I smiled and continued, "That first day in Lit…why did you act so strange and rush out of the room like that? It was almost as if you couldn't wait to get away from me, and don't try telling me you had someplace to be because I'm not buying it."

"You're right, Bella…wait, not about me wanting to get away from you, I don't mean it like that. I mean, you're right about me not having had someplace to be. It was just…" He took a deep breath and sighed. "I've already told you that I had never asked a girl out, but what I didn't tell you is that I had never _wanted_ to ask a girl out because I had never been attracted to a girl before. Sure, I had seen pretty girls, don't get me wrong, but a pretty face is a dime a dozen. The day I met you…well…you took my breath away." He looked away, but continued to speak, "I didn't know how to react to what I was feeling, and it made me nervous. I was afraid I would make myself look like a fool, so it was best if I just left quickly. I apologize if it made you feel like you had done something wrong, it was quite the opposite actually."

I reached across the table and placed my hand on Edward's and smiled. "Edward, the day I met you, I honestly had the same reactions. I'm not even joking. Why do you think I stumbled on my words so horribly? I am usually much more eloquent, trust me."

Rosalie returned with our order and offered to refill our drinks. We accepted gratefully and began eating our meal. The food was incredible, but to be honest, it could have been mud pies and I would have been oblivious. I was ecstatic just to be seated across from Edward and nothing could have lowered my spirits in that moment. We ate slowly, savoring each bite and having a friendly conversation in between. It was the most enjoyable meal I had ever had and I didn't want it to come to an end, but inevitably, of course, it did.

Edward paid the bill and we exited the restaurant. He reached for my hand once more and pulled me in the opposite direction of my dorm. I didn't ask any questions, because at this point I didn't care what we did or where we went as long as I was with him.

"I hope you don't mind, but I would like to show you something that my sister pointed out to me a few weeks ago. It is awe-inspiring."

"Of course I don't mind, but…I didn't know you had a sister. You never mentioned any siblings. Where does she live?" I questioned.

"Oh, she's a senior here, so you probably don't see her very much. She's also very tiny, so it's easy to overlook her," he laughed, "but don't tell her I told you that. She's like a kitten who thinks it's a tiger...you never tell her she is tiny."

We walked for a few more minutes and then Edward slowed and pulled me off to the side. I looked in the direction he pulled me and gasped in awe. In front of us was the most spectacular display of fireflies dancing on the other side of a rather large pond. Their lights reflected in the water causing the scene to be even more magnificent. I had never seen anything like it.

"Wow, Edward, it's beautiful! I can't believe she found this."

Edward turned toward me and said, "It pales in comparison."

I looked up into his eyes and saw a look I had never seen before. It was a look of determination – as if he was a man on a mission. He glanced down at my lips, and my stomach did flip-flops. _This is it. My first kiss. Oh crap, oh crap, oh crap._

Slowly and affectionately, Edward reached forward and placed his hand on my cheek. He stepped closer and bent his head slightly, and I could feel his fingers shaking against my face. He whispered, "Can I kiss you, Bella?"

I was barely able to nod, but I somehow succeeded and no sooner than I did, I felt Edward's lips come in contact with mine. At first they were gentle, soft pecks connecting my lips to his, but it was only a matter of seconds before both of his hands were cupping my face and he was kissing me with a little more force.

I snaked my arms around his waist and slowly trailed my hands up his back. He hummed against my lips and pulled back slightly to take a breath and whisper, "Oh, Bella."

He leaned his forehead against mine and smiled crookedly. "That was so worth waiting for."

I grinned and agreed with a, "Mmhmm."

At that moment, my traitorous body decided to shiver. I'm not sure if it was from a chill or from the magnitude of what had just taken place. Nevertheless, Edward noticed and said, "I better get you back before it gets too cold." He took me by the hand and we walked slowly back toward the dorms. Neither of us felt the need to break the silence with mundane words. The quiet was more than enjoyable.

We stopped in front of my building and Edward wrapped his arms around my waist, pulling me into a hug, and whispering in my ear, "Can we do this again, soon?"

"Absolutely," I replied a bit too quickly.

Edward pulled back and looked me in the eye. "Can we still study together tomorrow?" I nodded and he smiled. He leaned forward and kissed me gently several times before pulling away reluctantly with a grumble. "I'll see you tomorrow then."

"Tomorrow," I said with a grin.

* * *

That night before I went to bed, Edward sent me a text.

_Is not that the nature of men and women -- that the pleasure is in the learning of each other?* :) Sleep well, Umbella, see you tomorrow._

*Natira, the High Priestess of Yonada, "For the World is Hollow and I Have Touched the Sky", stardate 5476.3.

**Do you like teasers? I like reviews. Let's help each other out :)**


	7. Firsts

*Pulls out the mic* Yo! The name's….

Just kidding

I told you I feel like a rapper every time I give a shout out to my LC *gigglesnort*

So, to my LC – Alitriona/Eila, Allysue08, Rags88, Revrag, Shereebedee, Spellboundagain, and Whatobsession17 – I love you all! More than you will ever know!

Still leasing.

**Firsts**

_October 5, 2009_

I had no idea what I had been missing. Never before had I envied couples as I watched their gratuitous public displays of affection. I thought it was disgusting and unnecessary. I always scoffed at their audacity.

That was before.

After I had experienced my first kiss, I immediately wanted another…and another…and another. It had been utter euphoria when Edward's lips were connected with mine. That night, I had slept better than I had ever slept in my entire life, completely blissful, with numerous dreams that I wouldn't mind revisiting on a nightly basis.

The day following our first date, we had studied as planned…not so much our schoolwork as each other's lips, but we had, in fact, studied. That first week or so we hadn't ventured any further than chaste, but nonetheless passionate kisses. We had been constantly touching and often caught each other staring with a goofball grin. The fact that all of this had been new for both of us made it all the more substantial in our newfound relationship.

We found ourselves having 'study sessions' on a near daily basis even though we had rarely actually _needed_ to study. We had spent most of the time holding hands and making out. Although, I have to say our 'making out' was not even considered making out until about a week later.

Edward had been kissing me slowly and gently, as he had done so many times before, when he barely slipped his tongue out to touch my lips. It was like a bolt of electricity that shocked me into motion. I had opened my lips and allowed my tongue to come in contact with his and a whole new wave of sensations exploded throughout my body. As our tongues had begun to explore, Edward and I both couldn't hold back the noises that reverberated between us.

I had snaked my hands up to wrap them around Edward's neck and twist his hair through my fingers, which had elicited a moan from him. He had then grabbed me by the waist and pulled me into his lap, without breaking contact. He deepened the kiss and squeezed my sides, pulling me closer. I shifted my hips in response and experienced my first ever contact with Edward's erection. I couldn't stop my mind from thinking – hoping rather – that this wouldn't be my last contact. _Since when did I start thinking such dirty thoughts?_

I hadn't meant to, but I sorta froze, which had caused Edward to pull his head back and avert his eyes.

"Um…" Edward gulped and shifted in his seat, seeming like he was trying to melt into the couch underneath him. "I'm…dang it! I'm sorry." Edward's face had been the darkest shade of red I had ever seen, and he then attempted to lift me off his lap.

I held fast and turned his face to look into his eyes. "Edward. Why are you sorry?" If he had only known the thoughts that had been going on in my head at that very moment, he would have, in no way, apologized for his body's reaction – something he had no control over.

He had closed his eyes and dropped his forehead to my shoulder. "I didn't mean for you to…um…I didn't want to…I shouldn't have…" He grumbled and shook his head against my shoulder.

"It is a normal reaction, Edward, how can you be ashamed of something you have no control over?" I knew I had been blushing from head to toe, but I had wanted him to feel less embarrassed, so I leaned forward and whispered in his ear, "I actually like that I caused this kind of reaction out of you."

He lifted his head and looked me in the eye. "Really? You aren't disgusted with me? I try really hard not to think those kinds of thoughts around you, Bella, but it's extremely difficult. I love the way you smell, the way your lips feel against mine, the feel of your soft skin under my fingertips. All of those things make it nearly impossible to remain chivalrous around you."

I had kissed him gently and pulled back just enough to move my lips against his and said, "I'm sure the thoughts I have been having are very similar to your own, trust me. It's perfectly natural. I mean, we _are_ past the age of puberty, you know…we should have been through this ages ago." I giggled and said, "But it makes me happy to know that I am experiencing this with someone who is equally as inexperienced as I am. It makes it so much more comfortable."

Edward had grinned crookedly and said, "Mmm, that it does." He then connected his lips with mine again.

From that point on, our 'make-out sessions' had been more like making out. However, we had always kept our hands on each other's hips or neck, never roaming to places beyond what would be publicly acceptable…by our standards, at least.

Until today.

We were under 'our tree' – the tree we had found, which was secluded and never occupied by others – studying unnecessarily, _again_, and became sidetracked with kissing, _again_, when Edward pulled us so that we were lying on our backs on the blanket we had brought along. We lay on our sides, kissing with our heads propped on one hand and holding hands with the other. I twisted my foot around Edward's, wanting to touch him in as many places as possible, never getting enough of him.

Edward let go of my hand and cupped my face as he continued to kiss me. We kissed like that for a few minutes and then he slid his hand down to my neck. He traced circles on my collarbone with his thumb and I could feel the goosebumps rise underneath his touch. Slowly, he lowered his hand a bit more, where it was slightly above my breast and I felt my heart rate rise even higher than the unhealthy level it was at already. The pace of his movements was driving me insane and I did something I never thought I would do. I took his hand and placed it directly where I was pretty sure he was intending to go. However, when I placed his hand there, he halted all of his movements, gulped loudly and pulled back to look me questioningly in the eye. I grinned, letting him know I was really okay with it.

That was all the encouragement he needed. He went back to kissing me and groping me, albeit still somewhat cautiously. I scooted closer to him and pushed my knee between his legs, bringing my thigh in contact with the part of Edward I had slowly been becoming acquainted with.

Again, Edward stilled his movements and warned me with a, "Bella…" Of course, I didn't heed his warning and I pulled him back to my mouth to recommence kissing. He groaned against my lips, but didn't stop my actions. I took that as confirmation to resume the movements of my thigh against Edward's…um…yeaah. _Come on, Bella. If you can touch it, you should be able to say it. His…penis._ Boy, did I feel so juvenile at that very moment.

Edward seemed reluctant to allow himself to enjoy the attention I was giving him, however. He stiffened and his kisses became somewhat robotic. I lifted my hand to run my fingers through his hair, attempting to relax him, but it didn't help.

I pulled back slightly and whispered, "Edward, relax. Enjoy. Does it not feel good?" I had seen enough on television and in movies that I was pretty sure it was something that did, in fact, feel good to guys, but by his actions, he coulda fooled me.

He squeezed his eyes and pursed his lips before he mumbled, "You have no idea. I just…it doesn't seem right…_gentlemanly_…for me to behave that way around you, Bella."

"Edward. Look at me." He barely opened his eyes, and only to stare at my shoulder. I ducked down to make eye contact. "I _want_ you to enjoy it, Edward. I've never wanted to do anything like this before I met you, but now…well, I want to make you feel good. Knowing that I am the one making you feel good makes _me_ feel good. Please?"

He took a deep breath and slowly released it, then finally looked me in the eye. He grinned shyly and quietly said, "Okay."

A smile spread across my face that was comparable to that of a kid who was just told he won a trip to Disneyland. Edward blushed, and swallowed hard. I pulled him back into a searing kiss and began moving my leg in between his again. He moaned as he returned to caressing my breast, which in turn caused me to moan right back. This impelled him to be a bit more aggressive with his exploration, but just a bit. He pulled away from my lips and breathlessly kissed my jaw. I could hear him panting as he continued to move his mouth toward my neck.

He kissed my neck and whispered in my ear, "Oh my God, Bella. That feels…uh…oh God." He continued to pant against my neck in between kissing. I grabbed his hip and squeezed hard as I continued to press into his erection with my leg. His breathing was getting shallower and his hand was working faster. He kissed my neck once again and bucked his hips forward, moaning against my skin.

"Uuhhh…Bella…I can't…oh my God…I'm…oh crap!" He tried to stop all movements, but I wouldn't let him. I kept going. I needed this. I wanted him to have his release and for it to be all because of me.

I pulled away enough to see his face and whispered, "Come on, Edward."

He squinted his eyes shut and groaned out, "Ohhhh, ohhh shiiiiit!" _Oh. My. God!!_

That was hot on so many freaking levels. The fact that little ole me made a guy cum was un-freaking-believable. The fact that Edward had become so undone, that he used a curse word for the first time ever around me, was astounding. And the face that he made when he came? I will never ever forget that face. His face was sexy on a daily basis, but add the throes of passion into the mix, and holy mother of God, was it the sexiest thing ever!!

Edward had slipped his hand around to my back and was rubbing gentle circles as his breath returned to normal as well as his heart rate. He still had his eyes closed – clinched shut actually. I smoothed the wrinkles from his forehead with my fingers and hummed against his cheek just before I kissed it. He pulled me into a hug, resting his forehead on my shoulder.

I tried to lean back to kiss Edward, but he prevented me from separating myself from him. I decided to make due with what I had and kissed his shoulder and then his neck. I felt him swallow just before he spoke, "I can't believe I…" He exhaled loudly. "That was _not_ how I planned for things to go. I'm sorry. I should have been more reserved. It was very selfish of me to allow that. It won't happen again, I promise."

_Oh no, buddy…I don't think so!_

"Edward!" I grabbed a handful of hair and pulled his head back. _Oh come on! I didn't hurt him._ "If anyone was selfish, it was me. I am the one who asked you to let go. I'm the one who wanted to see you come undone. It was me who pursued this route and took control. But I can't honestly say I am sorry. It was totally worth it. In fact, I plan to make _sure_ it will happen again." I gave him a challenging look, daring him to dispute that decision.

He mumbled, "I don't know about that. This is quite disgusting. I need a shower now."

I giggled and apologized, but then told him I was only sorry for the mess, not my actions. He huffed again, but then chuckled and pulled me into a tight squeeze.

"What am I gonna do with you, Umbella? You're going to be the death of me, huh? I have no hope of protecting my virtue around you, do I?" Edward then full-out laughed and kissed me once more before getting to his feet and holding out his hand to pull me up as well. "We _reeeallly_ need to head back. This is starting to dry, and I can't imagine it is going to be a pleasant removal process."

I gathered our things and we began walking back toward the dorms hand-in-hand. Edward was obviously still embarrassed about our…um…activities, but at least he wasn't being all emo about it.

I stopped at the spot where we usually parted ways and Edward pulled me into him. He kissed me passionately and then whispered in my ear, "Thank you, Bella. It may have been embarrassing, but I wouldn't want to experience that with anyone else. Besides…" He pulled back and grinned crookedly. "I slightly enjoyed it." When I raised an eyebrow at him, he twisted his mouth and chuckled. "Ok, more than slightly, but let's drop it at that." His face was fire engine red when he pulled me into a parting kiss.

"I'll see you tomorrow, Edward."

"Tomorrow, Bella."

I seriously skipped all the way back to my room with a goofy grin from ear to ear. I was rather smug about my newfound abilities. I felt like singing, "I've got the power! Hey yeah heh! It's getting', it's getting', it's getting' kinda heavy." _What can I say? I like old school rap._

Later that night, I received a text from Edward that made me blush, giggle, and fan myself, all at once.

_My dearest Bella, today was amazing. I'll never forget it. When can I reciprocate? I'd like to make *you* feel as good as you made me feel :) Sweet dreams!_

How did I want to respond to that? Was I eager for him to reciprocate? Heck-to-the-yeah. Was I a nervous wreck about experiencing _that_ for the first time? Double-heck-to-the-double-yeah. What? I had no friends and was raised by a father…did you honestly think someone taught me how to take care of it myself? Uh, yeah, no. So, I finally decided to approach it honestly.

_I enjoyed today, too. I'll never forget it either. Seeing your face at that moment was wonderful. I'm not sure about reciprocation. I'm nervous & embarrassed._

Well, might as well get it all out there, since he was going to figure it out eventually anyway. A few seconds later, he responded.

_Uh, what do you think *I* was today? Brazen? No. I was mortified, but my girlfriend wanted it, so I acceded to her demands. Now, it's your turn. plz? For me? ;)_

Edward called me his girlfriend. I started bouncing up and down on my bed, giggling like a fruitcake. Angela just looked at me like I was nuts – which I sorta was, I guess. I was ecstatic and oblivious for far too long, because Edward texted me back before I could answer.

_That was inappropriate, I'm sorry. I just thought that maybe you would with me, since, you know, I've been there, too. I'm really sorry._

And then I felt really bad. Here I was doing the happy dance because he called me his girlfriend, and he mistook my lack of response as repulsion. I had to remedy the situation quickly.

_Oh no! I wasn't MIA due to that. In fact, *blush* I was kinda tripping out over what you called me. Did you mean it? Am I your girlfriend? :)_

Sure, we had been making out for a while, and he _did_ let me rub all up on his manhood until he came. But, I still had been unsure of our relationship status, so hearing him – seeing him, rather – call me his girlfriend, had boosted my self-esteem a hundredfold.

He responded extremely fast.

_Of *course* you're my girlfriend! What're you thinking? I only want to be with you. Do you not want me to be your boyfriend? I should have asked first, huh?_

Did I want him to be my boyfriend? Was he freaking kidding me? I would have asked him the very first day I met him, if I wasn't the shyest, most self-conscious girl on the planet.

_I would love to be your girlfriend and in return would love for you to be my boyfriend. :) Do I get to wear your class ring? Your Letterman jacket? *grin*_

I knew he didn't have either one of those, but I needed to make some sort of joke, because it seemed so elementary this whole, "Will you be my girlfriend?" thing. I was starting to wonder if I should check a box next to yes or no. I was an adult for goodness sake. I shouldn't have gotten so flustered over him calling me his girlfriend. But in my defense, I hadn't ever had a boyfriend before, so this was all new territory for me.

_Relationship – The Final Frontier._ Oh geez, I am such a dork.

I had forgotten that I was waiting for Edward to respond, so I dropped my phone when it buzzed with the alert. Angela looked at me and giggled. This was a typical occurrence for me, and it was also typical of Angela to laugh at me. I rolled my eyes and opened the text.

_I actually do have a class ring from my high school. Do you have one? We could be all kinds of cliché and swap rings. It would be awesome! What d'ya say? :)_

I couldn't figure out if he was joking or being serious. Stupid texting and its inability to project sarcasm. I opted to play it safe and just overlook that question for the time being. Maybe when I was standing in front of him I would be able to know if he was kidding.

_Well, my sweet *boyfriend*, I need some zzz's. Even though you can do without beauty sleep, the rest of us aren't so lucky. Cya tomorrow! G'night _

He responded with a simple good night wish and a comment about me not needing beauty sleep, just brain sleep. I laughed, but didn't reply. My eyes were already beginning to cross and I really _did_ need the rest.

I fell asleep quickly and had some incredible dreams.

* * *

_October 8, 2009_

We were sitting in Physiology, holding hands as always, and every time I looked at Edward, he looked away quickly and blushed. He was bouncing his knee and strumming his fingers on the desk with his free hand. Every so often he would run his fingers through his hair and look over at me. I would look back, and the whole process would start again. He had a grin threatening to escape, so his behavior really threw me for a loop.

As soon as class was dismissed, he grabbed my bag and stood up as fast as lightning. I just sat there, still as a statue. He had his hand held out waiting for me to take it and when I didn't, he looked down at me exasperatingly and said, "Well? Are you com…ing?" He immediately bit his lip, holding back a smile and turned away.

"Why are you acting so weird today? Did you forget your Adderall?"

OH. MY. GOD! The look he gave me when I asked that…you would have thought I asked him if he was a drug dealer! I laughed and held up my hands in defense, "I'm joking, Edward! Geez. What a tragedy it would be for you to have an attention disorder," I said sarcastically.

"Stop being childish, Bella, and come on. I want to get…I'm hungry, and I want to get a sandwich." Again with the profuse blushing. Something was up with that man, and I couldn't put my finger on it.

I pursed my lips and blew a breath, shaking my head and getting out of my seat.

"Let's go, Romeo," I said in my best British accent.

Edward chuckled and rolled his eyes. "That's why I love y…hanging out with you, Umbella. You always act like yourself. No withholding of your true personality." He pulled me close to him and continued, "As quirky as your personality may be." He squeezed my shoulder and laughed as he emphasized 'quirky'.

"Psh! As if! You are every bit as quirky as I am Mr. _Eidetic_ Memory."

Edward growled at me. He was always so defensive when I picked on his use of proper terminology for his gift – which he thought was a curse, not a gift. I admit I picked on him all the time. I couldn't help it. I liked to egg him on. He was so darn cute when he was flustered.

We continued the banter all the way to…wait…

I hadn't been paying attention, and we hadn't walked to the deli. No, we were at _our_ tree. There was already a blanket laid out in our normal spot and there was a picnic basket sitting in the grass beside it. _Well, this was new…_

I looked to Edward and he had his brows pulled together and looked deep in thought. Again, he was strumming his fingers, but on his thigh this time.

"Edward?" I started, but he jumped clean out of his skin and looked at me in astonishment. "Are you…okay?" I was seriously worried about him at this point. I mean, yeah, Edward often acted oddly, but this was so completely out of character for him.

He took a big, deep breath and blew it out loudly. "Yes, I'm sorry. I just…have something on my mind and I was distracted. I'm focused now." He smiled brightly and said, "Let's eat. I'm famished!"

I tentatively sat down, taking in the atmosphere around me. Edward still had a slight edge about him, but he appeared much more affable than he had mere minutes before. He sat down beside me, placing one hand on my knee, and reaching for the basket with his other hand.

"I got your favorite. Cheddar Chicken Salad Croissant and a pink lemonade. And…I got us a banana nut muffin to split." He smiled proudly.

_Wow! He really __**did**__ get my favorite!_

"Wow, Edward. Thank you…so much! You just don't even know how much I appreciate this. And the fact that you actually _remember_ my favorites means even more." I squeezed his hand and threaded my fingers between his.

We spent the next few minutes awkwardly eating with the hands we didn't have joined, laughing when we dropped pieces of the filling, but never releasing our grasp. Every once in a while, Edward would reach over and dab my mouth with a napkin and just smile tenderly. It was a very pleasant, romantic lunch.

After we finished with our shared dessert, I helped Edward pack the things back into the basket. As soon as the lid was closed, he pulled me to him and started zealously kissing me. A few minutes into it, he pulled us down into a lying position. He cupped my cheek and deepened the kiss. He moaned when my tongue came in contact with his. I loved his moan so freaking much. It lit a fire in my nether regions and caused my heart to accelerate.

Edward slowly trailed his hand down to my neck, my shoulder, my arm, and then my waist. I was expecting him to go for my breast since we had already crossed that bridge. He didn't, however. He grasped my waist and kissed me more fervently. He pushed forward so that I was lying on my back and his upper body was hovering over me. He placed all of his weight on his left arm and was rubbing circles on my waist with his right. He never stopped kissing me and then began running the fingers of his left hand through my hair while his right hand started lowering. I didn't react until I realized where exactly his hand was lowering to…and then I tensed up.

Edward noticed and removed his lips from mine just enough to whisper, "It's okay, Bella. Just relax. Unless…I mean…I'm not going to force you or anything, but if you let me do this, I promise you will enjoy it. Do you…do you want me to stop?"

I shook my head and he smiled and went back to kissing me. He didn't move his hand again until he felt me relax completely. Then, ever so slowly, he moved his hand to my inner thigh and trailed upward inch by inch until he came in contact with my…uh…_lady bits._ Like an idiot, I jumped when he first made contact, but he snickered and pressed a little harder, and…

_Oh_

_My_

_Freaking_

_God_

_(oops, I'm sorry, God…it's probably not a good idea to use Your name when I am doing something sexual, huh?)_

I thought kissing was amazing. I thought Edward's hand on my breast was magnificent. No, no, I didn't know what I was talking about. Sure, they were wonderful, not gonna lie, but being touched _down there_ and by someone I cared so much about…yeah, it was beyond amazing. It was better than anything I had ever experienced before in my life.

Edward continued to rub as he moved his kisses to my cheek and then my neck and then to my ear, sucking my earlobe in between his lips. That made what he was doing between my legs even more arousing. It felt incredible. I could feel a pressure rising higher and higher and I was squirming, I couldn't help it. I didn't want him to stop, but I didn't know what was happening. I had never felt anything so unbelievable.

He released my earlobe from between his lips and whispered in my ear, "Let go, Bella. Let it go. Cum for me."

And I did. And it was like fireworks went off inside my body, starting from my stomach and exploding throughout my appendages. It was fantastic.

When I opened my eyes, Edward was looking at me with a magnanimous smile. "You're right." I looked at him dubiously. He smiled even bigger, kissed my lips softly, and then said, "Seeing your face in _that moment_ was beyond wonderful."

I chuckled and said, "You were right too, you know?" He then quirked _his_ eyebrow at _me_ and I responded, "It _was_ mortifying, but lucky for me, it's not all disgusting for girls." I smirked before I kissed him once more.

"So, do you want to head back to your room or do you just wanna hang out here for a while?" he asked.

"I definitely prefer hanging out with you to going back to my boring room. And maybe," I wiggled my eyebrows and said, "just maybe I will recompense."

"I don't think so!" Edward laughed. "Do you even _know_ how horrible it was to clean up after that? Sorry, but no."

I trailed my forefinger down his chest to his navel and wiggled my finger before I slid my hand further. The whole time I had a seductive grin – well, at least I hoped it was seductive…I was new to this stuff, you know – and just before I reached the waist of his pants, he grabbed my hand and shook his head.

"I mean it, Isabella." He pulled my hand up to his chest and wrapped his fingers around it.

"Isabella? Oooh…are you trying to sound like my dad? Using my _full_ name and all?" I was still grinning and he started grinning back and then kissed me again.

"No funny business today. I did this for you. Maybe some other time…when we are in a more 'clean up friendly' environment, but as for now, when I have to go back to a dorm-full of guys and try to inconspicuously clean semen from my underwear…no, not gonna happen. Sorry."

I pouted, but complied. "Fine. But, we can still kiss, right?"

"Of course. I think I would die if I couldn't kiss you."

* * *

_October 15, 2009_

I was standing in the Rec Hall going through my mail. There was a funky-looking orange and black envelope addressed to 'Current Resident'. _Well, how very personal of you._

I opened it up and read.

_Dear Harvard Student,_

_ We would like to inform you of a campus-wide party this Halloween. This party is being thrown by students, so it will not be chaperoned, however, due to the IFC rules, it will still be monitored, so you still need to be on your best behavior._

_ Get your favorite costume ready and show up at the MAC (for those of you who are new to campus, that's the Malkin Athletic Center) on October 31__st__ at 8:00pm._

_ Thanks,_

_ The Harvard Team_

I laughed as I wadded up the paper and tossed it in the trash can.

_Dream on 'Harvard Team', you won't catch me at another party as long as I live._

**Uh oh…do I foresee a party on the horizon?**

**Do you like to be teased? (don't we all?)**

**Well, I love to be reviewed!**

**Give it to me, baby, uh huh, uh huh**

**(say it with me)**

**And all the girlies say I'm pretty fly for a white guy! **

***yes, I am missing a few brain cells, if you find them, send them my way plz***

**One last note –**

**I wrote a super smutty one-shot if you are in the mood for PWP, lol. Check my profile lovelies.**


	8. Why Me?

Many, gazillion thanks to my LC – Alitriona/Eila, Allysue08, Rags88, Revrag, Shereebedee, Spellboundagain, and WhatObsession17

I wish I owned them, but I don't, sorry.

**Why me?**

_October 16, 2009_

"Please, Bella. It'll be fun. We can even get matching costumes!"

"Edward. It's not a good idea. I'm not a social person, you know this. Besides, I don't think it's a good idea for you to be drinking." I looked at him sternly.

He looked at me in confusion and then furrowed his brow. "Well, I don't know why you would think that, but anyway, I hadn't said I planned to drink. I just think it would be fun to hang out with our friends together. And…well, I have always wanted to dress up." He chuckled and shrugged his shoulders.

I sighed heavily. "I don't know, Edward. I'm not too keen on the idea of being around a bunch of upperclassmen that we don't know. You know how mean they are to freshmen. I have a hard enough time with other freshmen, let alone juniors and seniors."

Then he looked at me with the biggest puppy dog, droopy-eyed, pouty look I had ever seen. "Pleeeeeaaaase, Bella." And then, for good measure, he batted his eyes and pushed his lower lip out as far as it would reach.

I laughed and rolled my eyes. "Let me think about it, okay? I'm just not sure I want to go down that route again."

You would have thought I'd said yes, because Edward started bouncing on his knees where he was kneeling on the couch. He grabbed his laptop and started typing in a url. Within seconds, there was a page full of costumes and he started sorting them, before I even had a chance to recognize what they were.

"I was thinking…what do you say to us having a Star Trek theme? Too geeky?" He was clicking costumes left and right.

"Nah, it's not too geeky. Not all trekkies are nerds." I giggled, knowing darn good and well that probably ninety-five percent of them actually were.

I caught a glimpse of a very realistic Spock costume and stopped him. "That one! That's perfect. It looks so real. It's not goofy looking like some that I've seen before."

He looked at me funny and said, "You want to be Spock?"

Rolling my eyes, I said, "Yeah, I sure do. And I figured you can be Nyota Uhura." _Boy for a genius, he was pretty dense sometimes._

"So, you want _me_ to be Spock? Pointy ears and all? Like _that's_ not going to alert the geek radar."

"Oh come on! It'll be fun. If you are dragging me to this thing, then at least I get to pick your outfit. You'll be Spock and I'll be Uhura." I smiled sweetly, until I looked at his face and it was twisted in confusion.

"Bella…you do know she was African American, right? And you are like…pale as a ghost?"

"Of course I know this; I haven't been living in a cave. I can just use some spray-on tanning stuff or something." I waved my hand as if it was no big deal.

He grumbled and said, "Fine…but the minute someone cracks on my ears we're leaving. I mean it!"

I laughed and agreed, telling him that was all part of the plan to make sure we didn't stay long. He rolled his eyes and ordered his costume and then we began looking through Uhura costumes. I was very picky with the costume because there was no way I was wearing a mini skirt and most of her costumes consisted of 'barely there' dresses. I finally found one with the black slacks, so I quickly ordered it, afraid it wouldn't last long because _surely_ all of the other girls would want slacks, right? _Riiiight…_

Edward received an email confirmation that he could pick his up on the 30th and I could pick mine up on the 31st. I wasn't exactly happy about having to wait until the very last minute, but what can you do?

"Ok, Spock, I guess it's official, now. We will be beamed up Stardate -313167.57990867585." I smiled smugly.

"Actually, to be exact, it's Stardate -313167.57990867586, but who's counting?"

I elbowed him in the side. "You're such a nerd."

* * *

_October 20, 2009_

I was early to Physiology, again. I sat in my seat and pulled out my books and notes to busy myself until Edward graced me with his presence. _Yes, I realize I sound like a nerd._ I was looking through my notes when I felt someone squat down beside my chair. I jumped and looked over to find Newton. _Lovely._

"Hey, Bella. So, are you going to the Halloween party? I thought maybe we could coordinate our costumes and meet there." He placed his hand on my thigh and smiled what I think was supposed to be seductively. Trust me, it wasn't.

"Actually, New…Mike, I am going to the party, but I have a date." It felt really good to say that. I hadn't actually verbalized it before.

He looked repulsed when he said, "A date? With who?" _What the heck?_ The way he said it made it sound like he didn't think anyone would actually ask _me_ to a party.

"Edward. You know, the guy I sit next to every class. The guy I walk out of class with. The guy I eat lunch with, on almost a daily basis. Yeah, we are going to the party together." I jutted out my chin defiantly.

He scoffed and continued with the look of repulsion as he said, "Edward? What in the world do you see in that guy? He's a loser. You need a real man, Bella." I had forgotten that he had placed his hand on my thigh, and when he said 'real man' he emphasized it by moving his hand higher up my leg.

I grabbed his fingers and bent them backwards as I said through my teeth, "A 'real man' as you put it, wouldn't force his hands in places they were not welcomed. It'd be in your best interest to keep your grubby paws off me."

He whimpered as I released his hand. "Damn, Bella. That was unnecessary." He looked at me menacingly. "Don't worry, babe. I'll let Edward have his time in the spotlight. But the second he turns his back on you, I'll be there pick up the pieces." He smiled and leaned forward, kissing me on the cheek before I even had time to get out of the way.

I quickly wiped his nasty slobber off of my cheek and grumbled, "That's disgusting."

* * *

_October 31, 2009_

I had to take three different bus routes to get to the costume shop, only to find a line that wrapped all the way around the store. I was glad that I had ordered ahead of time, because I would bet that the pickings were slim. I was also a bit perturbed because of the fact that I still had to stand in this God forsaken line like everyone else, even though I had ordered two weeks before. I pulled out my iPhone and started playing Sudoku.

It took nearly three full games before I was at the front of the line. I handed the lady my confirmation number and waited patiently for her to retrieve my costume. Five excruciatingly long minutes later she handed me a garment bag, which was much smaller than I had anticipated. I unzipped it and gasped. "This is not my costume. I specifically asked for the one with slacks."

"Ma'am, I'm sorry, I just give 'em how I receive 'em. Besides, this late in the game, there's not much we can do for you. Sorry. Have a good day." _Good day my…hindquarters._

I stood outside the shop for at least another fifteen minutes. What in the heck was I gonna do? It was too late to try to find another costume, and it would ruin our theme if I went as someone else anyway. But also, I wasn't going to be caught dead in a mini skirt. I contemplated my options – which weren't very many – and then I decided I could get some boots and cover up as much skin as humanly possible.

I went to several stores before I finally found one that carried thigh-high boots. Then I had the dilemma of picking the heels. The supply of boots with small or no heel was extremely limited, and to beat it all, the heelless boots were hideous. And then, of course, the gorgeous boots had five or six inch heels, which was absolutely _not_ gonna happen. I finally managed to find a pair with four inch heels – not my preference, but they would have to do – that were fairly cute. I purchased them and finally hopped on the first of three busses to take me back to my dorm.

Angela and I decided to help each other get ready and walk together to the party since Ben and Edward were located past the MAC and it would have been silly for them to pass the hall just to walk us to the party. We had made plans to meet outside of the building so that we could walk in together.

Angela had a good laugh for about twenty minutes over my getting stuck with a mini dress. When I showed her the boots I had picked out she squealed and told me that it would make my costume epic. I told her I didn't care about the costume's 'epicness', I just wanted to cover as much skin as I possibly could.

Thirty minutes before the party, our characters had been fabricated darn near close to perfection. I had found a very nice, even coverage, spray-on tan, and since I used my own hair instead of a wig, I looked authentic. I shivered when I imagined how Edward would look in his Spock costume. Laugh if you must, but Spock was just plain sexy, without even trying. Sex symbol, savant and occasional psychic; Spock is an icon for all times, and I was going to see him represented by the man I lust after on a daily basis.

Angela had chosen a Queen of Sheba ensemble and informed me that Ben was coming as King Solomon. I should also say that I had to listen to a forty-five minute rant about the discrepancies of the relationship between the two. Angela, being the hopeless romantic that she was, believed that the two were very much in love. Who was I to dispute that?

We began walking to the party five minutes before it was to start. We didn't want to be early, but at the same time, we didn't want the guys to have to wait on us.

Less than a block away from the building, I had an uneasy sense of déjà vu. My stomach twisted in knots, but then I remembered I would be with Edward, and none of the past events would come into play with him at my side. The thought comforted me, and I was able to continue walking toward the building with confidence.

We made it to the MAC and Ben was already standing there, but Edward was not.

"Hey, Bella. Edward had a phone call just as we were walking out the door, I'm sure he will be here shortly." He smiled cordially.

"Thanks, Ben. I'm sure you're right. You guys can go in; I'll just wait out here for him." I waved as they began walking away.

Less than a minute later, my phone buzzed. It was a text from Edward. My heart stuttered. I was not about to go to this party without him. I opened the message with shaky fingers.

_So sorry, something important came up last minute. Still coming, I swear, just gonna be an hr late. Plz forgive me. Xoxo_

I quickly texted back.

_No problem. Cya when you get here. Be safe. I'll wait inside. Come find me, my dear Spock. ;) xoxo_

I swallowed nervously and gathered up the courage to walk inside.

The first thing I did was look for Angela or Ben, or heck, even Emmett would suffice at this point. Anyone that could ward off _Newton_. Of course, since I'm analogous to Charlie Brown, and nothing ever works to my advantage, I couldn't find a single person I recognized. I was disheartened when I came to the conclusion that I would have to fend for myself and most likely come in contact with _Newton_ once again.

I went toward the mass of people congregating around the snack table. I diverted my steps to avoid the liquor table and hopefully not see anymore naked torsos being used as shot glasses. I grabbed a can of Barq's and shuffled back to the long, empty wall, leaned my shoulder against it, and pulled out my iPhone to play some Sudoku until Edward appeared, or someone non-pervy came to keep me company.

I had barely filled in four numbers when I felt hands snake around my waist. I jumped and tried to pull away, prepared for those hands to belong to Mike Newton. The arms grasped me tightly and pulled me back and I felt lips against my ear.

"Hey there, you magnificent female specimen," Edward whispered before he sucked my earlobe into his mouth.

"Mmmm, I thought you were going to be an hour late." I moved my head to the side, giving him full access to my neck.

"The issue has been rectified." He began sucking on my neck, hard enough that he was going to leave a mark. I was a bit worried about having a noticeable blemish that could easily be deduced as a hickey. _Oh well, it's not like I have to hide it from a parent, so why not?_

Edward snaked his hands further around my waist and groaned into my ear, "You look so freaking hot in this outfit, you know…I'm not gonna be able to keep my hands off of you. And those 'fuck me' boots make me want to do exactly that." _What in the world had come over him?_

I twisted around to get a look at him in his Spock outfit and to see if maybe he had somehow already gotten a hold of some alcohol, because let's face it – Edward and alcohol were not a good combination, and that's the only explanation for his brusque attitude. Once I was completely facing him, I did _not_ come face to face with Spock, but honest to God I didn't have it in me to complain, because _Lord, have mercy_ he was the sexiest thing I had ever laid eyes on.

He was wearing a black jumpsuit with a padded muscle torso giving him the look of a very defined muscled man. There was a wide, black belt across the middle with fancy gold designs surrounding the letter 'Z'. The costume had knee-high boots attached to the jumpsuit. He had a long black cape with printed gold trim near the neckline and two gold studs with the letter 'Z' and a metal chain connected between them. He was wearing the signature Zorro hat with the gold 'Z' and gold trim, along with the adjustable strap under the chin, which he had hanging very loosely. Of course, he also had the black face mask and a rapier sheathed in a scabbard hanging from his hip.

I closed my gaping mouth and swallowed repeatedly trying to get some moisture in my mouth, but it was a fruitless attempt. I gulped down a swig of my soda and licked my lips. Apparently the costume shop had messed up his order much like mine, but _his_ was for the better. Unfortunately, now we weren't a matching couple and I felt extremely inadequate next to the magnificent Don Diego de la Vega. _Seriously, doesn't that sound incredibly sexy? Even more so than Zorro…le sigh._

"Well, you look…really, _really_ amazing. I guess they messed up your order as well, huh? It's great, though. I just feel very out of place." I chuckled.

Edward stepped forward so his chest was flush with mine and he leaned in and placed a soft kiss against my lips. The kiss was brief and I whined when he pulled away. He smiled slyly and placed his lips against mine a bit more forcefully. I wrapped my arms around his neck and he moaned against my mouth. He enveloped my waist with his arms and pulled me tighter against him. I licked his lips asking for entrance and he granted me access enthusiastically. As our tongues danced he pressed me against the wall, grinding his erection into my stomach. I was so caught up in the heat of the moment, that I actually forgot we were smack dab in the middle of a crowd of strangers.

I separated from him, just a tad and said, "We um, shouldn't…we have an audience, we should calm down."

He briefly sucked my bottom lip into his mouth and then grabbed me by the hand and started leading me down a dark hall. Once we were further back in the shadows, he shoved me against the wall again, widening my stance with his leg, which was now placed between mine. He went back to kissing me as he lowered himself so that his erection was situated at the apex between my thighs, and he began to press against me.

I twisted my hands into the back of his jumpsuit and he hummed against my lips and began creating friction between us as he continued to press against my pelvis. He slid his tongue into my mouth and explored like he'd never done before, never ceasing his grinding.

Edward reached behind me, cupped my butt and lifted me so that my waist was even with his. He wrapped my legs around his hips and I couldn't even begin to fathom what was happening. It was so incredible, so intense, and I didn't want to stop. Once I locked my ankles together and he realized I wasn't going to lose my footing, he ran his hands up my thighs, under my skirt and skimmed the edge of my panties. It was at that moment that I remembered I was in a very short mini skirt and most likely more of my body was on display than I had ever intended. However, I was too far gone to really care at that point. He quit his grinding just enough to slip his fingers under the edge of my panties. I squeaked when I felt his skin come in contact with my very wet, very warm, _very_ sensitive flesh, which had never been touched without barriers before.

"Shh, you don't want to draw attention to this hall, do you? That would be quite embarrassing if someone caught you in the midst of your orgasm, wouldn't it?" I had never heard Edward speak so seductively before. I couldn't stop the actions that followed. I pressed my wetness against his fingers and threaded my hands in his hair as I barreled forward into another searing kiss. His sexy Zorro hat slipped backward off of his head, but the neck strap caught on his chin. He made a gurgling sound alerting me that the strap was choking him. I slipped it over his head and dropped his hat behind him.

He then resumed the kissing and slid a finger into me. I groaned and bucked my hips unintentionally, causing his finger to go deeper and the pleasurable pressure to increase. I was breathlessly panting against his lips, so he then lowered his mouth and began peppering my neck with gentle pecks and nibbles. He quickened his finger and flattened his tongue against my jugular causing a marvelous sensation simultaneously with the titillating tingle going on between my legs. I was on the verge of climax, and I was breathing so quickly and shallowly that I was sure I would hyperventilate if it lasted too long.

Edward slipped another finger inside of me and bit my earlobe murmuring into my ear, "Cum for me. Cum allover my fingers so I can lick them clean." _Holy mother of pearl! Where did he learn to talk like this? That was freaking hot!!!_

Of course his dirty talk did inevitably push me over the edge and I had to bite down on his shoulder to keep from screaming out in ecstasy. Once I came down, he really did, honest to God, take his fingers up to his mouth and so slowly, so erotically, he sucked the juice from them and instantly plunged his tongue back into my mouth with my juices still evident.

Then, very suddenly, he jerked back and lowered me to the floor and turned back toward the party. _What the…_

I started running after him – well, as fast as I could run in heels, which regrettably was about as fast as a turtle. I turned the corner and the room was incredibly crowded. It seemed like the population had doubled since we had gone to the back hall. I scanned the room for Edward's hat, which he had since put back on his head, and I caught him near the front door.

I weaved in and out of the crowd, rushing to him before he could leave. I couldn't figure out what had just happened, but I needed to see what I had done wrong. I was about ten feet behind him and just before I called out his name my eyes fell upon a sight that dropped my stomach clean out of my body and onto the floor in front of me.

Spock was walking in the front door.

**I'm just gonna back away slowly, but before I do, I will leave you with some rec's to read while you wait for next week *grin***

**(Have you read my outtake? It's chapter 7 from EPOV)**

**A few of my LC members have stories, you totally should check out.**

**/ s / 5326052 / 1 / Random_Angels**

**/ u / 1869116 / allysue08 (just check out everything she writes, I can't decide which to pimp, lol)**

**/ s / 5470368 / 1 / Simplicity_is_Key (it says on hiatus, but her hiatus is going to be over in a couple weeks)**

**/ s / 5605017 / 1 / All_Ive_Known**

**A very good friend of mine writes a story, and she could use some love!**

**/ s / 5594908 / 1 / A_New_Normal**

**Until next week, my lovies. ;) Luv 2 U all!**

**Remember, a review will get you a peek into the next chapter!**


	9. Karma is a Cruel Mistress

Love and hugs and kisses and flowers to my LC – Alitriona/Eila, Allysue08, Rags88, Revrag, Shereebedee, Spellboundagain, and Whatobession17! I love you all :)

Still leasing, of course.

**Karma is a Cruel Mistress**

_October 31, 2009 continued_

I couldn't do anything but stand there with my mouth catching flies. My stomach still rested at my feet because what in God's name had just happened? I know that was Edward. _Wasn't it?_ I felt like banging my head against a brick wall. If that wasn't Edward, wouldn't I have known it? _Oh my God, what have I done?_

Edward's face was stone as he nodded to…who was standing in front of me?

"Mace." _Mace?_ My heart was sinking further and further into the pit of my stomach. Wait, my stomach was on the floor still, so…never mind, it doesn't really matter, right? My mind was just rambling away in order to avoid the reality that was unfolding before me.

_Mace_ nodded back. "Edward," he responded just as sharply as Edward had. "Nice ears," he said sarcastically, with one eyebrow raised.

Edward rolled his eyes and scoffed. "I thought you said Alice needed me at the shop. I showed up and she wasn't there. I texted her, and she was back in her room all cozied up with Jasper, not knowing anything about meeting me."

"Well, it seems I must have gotten my messages crossed. I could have sworn she said she had some things she needed you to sort through. My bad." Although, it didn't sound like it was 'his bad'. No, it sounded like it was purposeful.

Edward didn't seem to care in the slightest, he just bluntly asked, "What are you doing here? I thought they banned you from campus." _Oh great…not only had I made out with someone who was __**not**__ my boyfriend, but he was a rule breaker or trouble maker or something._

Mace cackled sarcastically, "Ah, Eddy boy, if you remember, your darling brother – the 'black sheep' – doesn't follow rules." He did the air quotes as he said it. "But don't you worry your pretty little head, I was just leaving. I got what I came for." _WHAT?!? What does that mean?? This was not good at all!_

Edward moved to the side, letting Mace pass him and leave out the front door. He looked over at me and began smiling, his eyes slowly scanning down my body and back up, but once his eyes caught mine and he realized I had just seen everything, his smile faded and his face drained of all color.

I still hadn't recovered from my shock. I was just standing there, mouth gaping, short of breath, and heart fluttering like a hummingbird. I honestly thought I was on the verge of passing out. I was lightheaded and it felt as if the room was spinning.

Edward started walking toward me and I instinctively backed away shaking my head. I held up my hands to signal for him to stop. He cocked his head to the side and pulled his brows together as if he didn't understand why I stopped him.

"Bella? What's wrong?"

"W-w-who-o-o was th-th-that?" I really tried to say that sternly, but it came out sounding like a pathetic whimper.

Edward took a deep breath, puffing up his cheeks, and blew it out through pursed lips. "Can we take this someplace private? Outside? Please, I will explain everything, I promise."

We walked outside and continued a few buildings down, where there were no people crowding around. My legs were as wobbly as J-ello, so I sat on the first flat surface I could find. It just so happened to be a garden bench. I was still having a hard time catching my breath, so I leaned forward and put my head between my knees. This wasn't a very good idea since I was still dressed in a mini dress, but if I didn't get oxygen to my brain soon, I was surely going to faint.

I spoke to the ground, "Spill."

Edward squatted down in front of me and wrapped his hands around mine. I started to pull away, but it took too much energy, so I succumbed. "Mace…well, Masen…is my twin brother."

I held up my forefinger and said, "Wait." I took a huge gulp of air, held it for a few seconds and then released. "How long have we been dating now?"

"Well, our first date was…forty-two days, two hours and," he looked down at his watch, "thirty-five minutes ago." I still wasn't looking at his face, but he sounded proud of this knowledge. I was not impressed – well, I probably would have been if I wasn't so upset over the knowledge he had previously revealed.

"In those _forty-two days_ did you ever think it would have been nice to, I don't know, include this information with your **girlfriend**?" I growled on the last word.

Edward rubbed circles on my wrists with his thumbs as he said, "Yes, I know. It would have been considerate of me to divulge these facts, but honestly, I can explain."

I finally lifted my head and looked him in the eye. "Then explain, because right now, Edward? I feel like I can't trust you. I don't want to have trust issues this early in our relationship, but for God's sake, if you don't explain pretty freaking good, I don't see any way around it."

"Let me start from the beginning, then. This might take a while. Are you okay with missing the party for now?"

"What do you think?" I deadpanned.

"Ok, ok, I'm sorry. So, when my brother and I were born, I was born first, only by three minutes, though. Mom and Dad said it was very difficult to tell us apart, so they had small bracelets made for us. Mine had a number one; Mace's had a number two. They didn't think anything about it; they just did it for simplicity, instead of putting our names on them." He ran his hand through his hair, and continued, "Our sister, Alice, was two when we were born and she couldn't tell the difference between us, either, so she would look at our bracelet. She would simply call me 'one' and Mace 'two'. Mom and Dad thought it was cute.

"However, apparently five years later they learned that being called 'two' is a bit of a bruise to the ego. Who would have thought that a five year old would understand ranking order?" He chuckled humorlessly. "Anyway, Mace started acting out anytime someone would call him 'two'. Of course, Mom and Dad never called him that, but it was difficult for Alice to break the habit. Mace started mistreating Alice. He would steal her food, he would pull her hair, and he would break her dolls. Anything to make her cry, he would do it. So, he started getting in trouble for it. Our parents would take his toys, his games, make him sit in time-out, not let him go outside. They tried everything. But everything they tried made him be even meaner and more hateful.

"After a few years of this, Mom told Dad that she thought he needed counseling. Well, that at least helped Mace's relationship with Alice, but he then turned his hatred toward Mom and Dad for making him go to a stranger twice a week. He would do every single thing that made Mom and Dad mad. So, he got into more and more trouble.

"Years went by, and we were finally in high school. This is when he _really_ started acting out. He was doing drugs, stealing, vandalizing, and cheating on tests. The worst part was…Mace was a genius. I mean, freaking Einstein genius. He didn't need to cheat on tests. He just wanted to prove he could get away with it. And he did…for a while. He only got caught when his buddy ratted him out because _he – the buddy – _hadn'tbeen smart enough to hide his cheat sheet. So when the teacher found it, she knew it wasn't his handwriting and made him tell who wrote the answers down.

"The final straw was when he was caught for grand theft auto at fifteen. He was still underage, so he only had to spend time in a Juvenile Detention Center until he was seventeen. During this time, he was on his best behavior, and everyone figured he had turned over a new leaf. The officers said he was the most behaved kid in there. So, Dad pulled some strings – using his connections – and managed to get Mace enrolled into Harvard." Edward licked his lips and cleared his throat. "Yes, he was a year ahead of me, because even though he had been caught cheating, when the teachers forced him to retake his test, he aced every one of them. He was able to graduate a year early and therefore get into Harvard at seventeen.

"However, this didn't last long. As soon as he was back out in the 'real world' he started misbehaving again. It started small. He would come in after curfew, he would sneak into an all-girl dormitory, and he would skip class or come in halfway through class. For the most part, the professors would turn their head because everyone knew he was probably smarter than every professor on campus.

"Then strange things started happening all over campus. Grades were getting switched – for good _and_ for bad, just depending on which he felt they deserved – students were getting transferred to other classes without requesting the switch, teachers were having incriminating emails sent from their email addresses. Luckily the IT on campus was able to prove it didn't originate from the actual professors' computers or their personal laptops.

"They finally were able to trace the maze of IP addresses back to a central computer and even though it wasn't Mace's computer, they knew he was the one who had been doing the hacking, because one thing Mace never accounted for was that the person's computer he tried to sabotage actually had a tracker on it. Turns out, the computer owner was paranoid of hackers, and rightly so in this case. They were able to track it back to Mace because he was the only person who had ever gotten an email from the computer owner. Don't ask me how, but they were able to track all of the activity from that one email.

"So Mace was kicked out of Harvard, and let me tell you… this caused an uproar among the members of my family. Dad nearly disowned him – well as much as my dad would actually disown one of his kids – he cut off his monthly living expenses, forcing Mace to actually work for a living. He didn't go far from campus, but he doesn't really interact with Alice and me. So, I'm not saying I actually _forgot_ about my brother, because that's impossible, but well…we just don't really talk about him anymore. He is a trouble maker and until he gets his life together, it is best for us to stay away from him.

"But, I am truly sorry for keeping this from you, Bella. I honestly never thought you would meet him until, well, until I took you to meet my family, and then it isn't even a given that he would be present. Forgive me?" And there was the horrible puppy dog pout that I couldn't turn down.

"Okay," I sighed. "But, no more secrets, okay? I have trust issues as it is, please don't make them worse."

Edward rose up on his knees so that he was eye level with me and cupped my face with both of his hands. "I promise, Bella, I will never keep another secret from you as long as I live." He kissed me softly and then the words he had just said hit me like a ton of bricks. _I'll never keep another secret…_

I was such a freaking hypocrite. I just begged him to come clean and never hide anything from me again and yet I was hiding something epic from him. No, this was bigger than epic, this was astronomical, colossal, monumental…well, you get my point. But I couldn't come clean. It would shatter him. He just basically told me that Mace had ruined relationships between family members, mainly between himself and family members, and if I told him what had happened, how would he handle that? And what in the world did his brother mean by, _"I got what I came for_"? Surely he hadn't…planned…this whole thing. _Oh. No. Please. God. No._

As much as it didn't make sense, it _did_ make sense. I mean, Edward had been on his way to a party with me and got an incorrect call at the very last minute to meet with his sister. There I had been, at the party, waiting for Edward, and along came Mace and…_Son of a bitch!_

He did – he freaking _did_ set the whole thing up! There was no other explanation. He had talked to me as if he were Edward and I couldn't for the life of me figure out why. Why had he done the things to me that he did as if he knew me?

Oh.

I felt like I had just been punched in the gut. That hadn't been Edward I'd seen at that first party. It was Mace. He had smiled at me like he wanted to eat me and when I'd come up to him…Oh my gosh! I'd called him Edward and he got angry and rushed off. Holy cow. So this must have been his way to get back at me for that party. But how was I to know? I mean, honestly.

And this whole time I had thought Edward just couldn't handle his liquor. _I am such a tool._

"Bella? Are you okay? You kinda just zoned out on me there. I know this is a lot to take in and if you don't want to go back to the party, I totally understand. I _did_ want to tell you, however, that you look incredibly hot tonight. I thought you picked the slacks, though…not that I'm complaining by any means. Oh and those boots. I think they are very inappropriate."

"Inappropriate? Why?" I was suddenly very self-conscious.

Edward grinned deviously. "Because they make guys want to do all sorts of bad things to you."

I slapped his arm and hissed, "Whatever, Edward! You're so silly."

His grin sobered and he said, "I'm not joking, Bella. I could see how those guys were looking at you. I am very good at reading people and I can tell you right now, they were not thinking kind thoughts, I can promise you that. Also because, well…I wasn't exactly thinking clean thoughts either," he mumbled and looked down.

I started giggling and told him it was perfectly okay for my _boyfriend_ to think that way. It felt strange calling him my boyfriend. I didn't really feel like a great girlfriend at that point in time.

We went back to the party, but not for long. I just couldn't help but be distracted. I felt horrible since Edward thought I was having a problem focusing because of what he had disclosed to me, when in fact it was because of what I was hiding from him. I just needed some time to think. I was certain things would be much clearer in the morning.

But they weren't.

* * *

_November 1, 2009_

I hadn't slept peacefully at all. It had taken me ages to fall asleep because every time I'd closed my eyes I saw the events replay from the night with Mace. And then, once I finally was able to actually fall asleep all I did was have disturbing dreams.

The first one was Edward and I walking to the coffee shop holding hands and then I look over to see him morph into Mace right before my eyes. It would have been impossible to notice the difference if it wasn't for the fact that they dress and style their hair completely different.

The second one was very similar, but instead of us walking, we were sitting beside each other in Lit and he leaned in to whisper in my ear and it ended up being Mace whispering the words he had said to me at the party.

The last one caused me to finally get up and start doing school work. Edward and I were lying underneath our tree as always and in the middle of one of our usual make-out sessions, he pulled back and wickedly grinned at me as he shifted into Mace.

The worst part about these dreams was that I woke up incredibly aroused. This not only made me feel guilt and humiliation, but also incredibly nauseous. The more I thought about my situation, the sicker I became until eventually I just curled up in my bed, under the covers, and blasted the music in my headphones. I played everything on my playlist that was hard core, head banging material. I was trying to push the thoughts and worries away with music. Luckily, it worked for quite some time. However, every time the music ended or a softer song came on, the worries came flooding back.

I ended up spending the whole day in bed. Edward didn't call me or text me until later that night.

_I'm sorry for last night. I totally deserve your avoidance, but I hope that you can eventually forgive me. Sleep well tonight :) will I see you 2morrow?_

Could the guilt possibly get any worse? Yes, yes it could, because it just did. I was avoiding Edward because of my own actions, not his. And now he was feeling guilty and felt her deserved being avoided. _I am the world's worst girlfriend ever._

I debated over what to text him before I started typing. I ended up saying something I didn't plan on.

_I'm so sorry. I wasn't avoiding U. I was horribly sick! It might B smthng I ate yday. I don't know if I can make it 2morrow. :( I'll let u know. Sleep well!_

Yep, definitely the world's worst girlfriend.

* * *

_November 2, 2009_

I didn't go to class this morning, and I honestly couldn't tell you if it was anxiety, nervousness, or if I had actually gotten a stomach bug. The mind is a powerful thing and it's quite possible that I could have made myself sick. Many people think Karma is a cruel mistress and 'what goes around comes around' or 'be careful what you wish for' and in this situation it's highly likely that I could be getting paid back for blaming my illness on something other than what it really was. Pure and utter guilt, seeping into my pores and festering deep within my soul, poisoning my very being. Okay, that was a bit dark and disturbing, and well over the top, but it sure felt like that's what was happening.

I had texted Edward before class, letting him know I just wasn't up for leaving my room. I could tell by his response that he was upset.

_Aww! I haz a sad. I will miss you in class. Sitting next to you makes it easier to learn. Hope you feel better soon :(_

I cried myself to sleep after that text. I had never done anything so despicable in my life.

* * *

_Knock, knock, knock._

I squirmed in my bed, trying to drown out the noise.

_Knock, knock, knock._

_"Bella, I'm sorry to disturb you, but I brought something for you, can I come in?"_

Edward? Maybe I was still dreaming. I rolled over and looked at my clock, one-thirty. _Sheesh, slept all day…_

_Knock, knock, knock._

Nope, wasn't dreaming. "Come in, Edward."

He barely cracked the door open and peeked in. "Are you sure? I just…well, I brought you some homemade chicken noodle soup. I thought it might help you feel better."

_God, could you please make my bed swallow me whole? I would be forever grateful. Mkay?_

I thought I would lighten the mood – well, _my_ mood at least; you know the one that was swirling further and further into the never-ending abyss of morbidity – by making a joke. "Homemade? What, did you open a can of Campbell's in your 'home' and _make_ it in the microwave?" I giggled, even though it wasn't heartfelt at all.

Edward rolled his eyes. "No, Umbella. I bought the ingredients and made the soup from scratch. My mom taught me to never consume condensed soup because it contains MSG and I should never let anyone I care about consume it either."

_Of course it was homemade – because Edward can do __**everything**_.

Please don't mistake my disdain for Edward himself. No, I was just feeling lower and lower and the fact that he could do another thing for me that I couldn't do for myself just made it that much harder to accept it with a clear conscience. _What am I saying? My conscience is far from clear._

I put a fake, but very cheerful-looking smile upon my face and grudgingly accepted his offering. It actually was the most amazing soup I had ever tasted, and I made sure to tell him that – at least five times.

Soon after I ate, Edward told me he was going to let me get some more rest and he would text me later to see how I was feeling. I kissed him goodbye – on the cheek, just in case – and he left.

I fell back asleep, but Angela woke me shortly after when she came in from class.

"I'm sorry to disturb you, Bella, I tried to be quiet, I swear."

"No, honestly, I have just been sleeping lightly. Anyway, I need to get a shower, so no biggie."

I gathered my things and opened my door, coming face to face with that signature sexy fauxhawk, leather wristband, and graphic tee that had been invading my dreams for the last two nights.

"Hello, Bella," Mace said with a wicked grin.

**Dun dun dun. I don't know about you, but I like the sexy dark look and wicked grin. (yes, I need mental help, lol)**

**Anyway, you know the routine: Teaser for a review. Hugs all around!**


	10. Everywhere I Turn

**WARNING**

The next few chapters have unsavory sexual behavior that may distress some readers.

Merci beaucoup à mon équipe littéraires (Many thanks to my LC) – Alitriona/Eila, Allysue08, Rags88, Revrag, Shereebedee, Spellboundagain, and Whatobsession17! Je t'aime tous! (I love you all)

Leasing is pleasing minus the 'P'

**Everywhere I turn**

_November 2, 2009 continued_

"Wh-wh-what are y-y-you doing here?" I stuttered. _I have got to do something about this incessant stuttering I have suddenly picked up._

"Well, Bella, I need to speak with you. I thought we could go out to lunch? It's on me." He smiled, but it wasn't a comforting, friendly smile like Edward's. It was almost, I don't know, evil. And his voice…it was identical to Edward's but almost indiscernibly lower in pitch giving it a husky, sensual intonation.

"I…I don't…no thank you. I'm not hungry." I tried to smile, but it came off as more of a grimace.

Mace grabbed me by the elbow, pulling me out into the hall and closed my dorm door behind me. I tried to jerk my arm away, but he held on tightly.

"How about coffee then? I know you drink coffee…well, cappuccino, I'm sorry." He was slowly backing me against the wall.

"Mace, I…I don't think that's a good idea. I have a lot of work to do today." I tried to weasel my way out from his grip, but he tightened his hold.

"I think it's a great idea, Bella. We could," he looked up and twisted his mouth in thought, then looked back at me, grinning, "get to know one another."

"Mace…Edward is my boyfriend. I'm not comfortable going out with you. I care about him."

At this point, Mace pinned me against the wall and growled. He leaned in to my ear and began speaking menacingly. "I've had my fingers buried in your pussy and you can't have a simple lunch with me? Has Edward finger fucked you yet, Isabella? He hasn't, has he? Have you told him what happened between us since you _care_ about him so much? I know the answer to that, because let me tell you, sweetheart, Edward would have already broken down my door if he knew what happened. Why are you keeping it a secret? Maybe I should tell Eddy-boy myself. I like to stir up trouble. I'm sure he told you about that. Did he have a nice time bashing me after you saw the two of us together at the party?"

He skimmed the shell of my ear with his tongue and then sucked my earlobe into his mouth. "Mmmm. I really enjoyed the party, Bella. Your pussy is so fucking tight. You've never been finger fucked before, have you? It was obvious by how quickly you came all over my hand. Such a sweet little virgin. Edward wouldn't know what to do with you, being a virgin himself. Such a silly boy. Holding out for _love_. Spare me."

I started squirming, desperately needing to get out of this situation. I was so incredibly turned on and so horribly guilt-ridden because of it. I mean, he was being disgusting and perverse. He was being rude and inconsiderate and degrading. That should have repulsed me, shouldn't it? And yet, I had never been as aroused as I was in that very moment in my entire life. How could I allow Edward's brother to do these things to my body? I should feel like vomiting. When Mike did nearly the same thing, I was revolted. And here I was, allowing Mace to talk to me the way he did and even worse…getting _horny_ from it. I needed to end it, and I needed to do it immediately.

I pushed against his chest. He didn't budge. I twisted and groaned. "Mace, let me go. Don't make me scream." Would I scream? Or would I let it continue? I honestly didn't know.

Finally he released me. "That's fine, Bella. I will leave you alone…for now. I won't make you go to lunch, but don't worry, I _will_ eat with you eventually…although it may not be food." He licked his lips seductively and smiled. "And by the way, Bella…you fucking taste amazing."

He walked away and I just stood there. Once he was completely out of sight, I slid down onto the floor and just sat in that spot for what felt like hours. I couldn't believe what was happening. I also couldn't believe my traitorous body was feeling the things it was feeling. I finally gathered the courage to stand and go back into my dorm.

I thought I had composed myself enough so that Angela would have no idea what had just transpired, and I walked into my room.

She looked up smiling, but her face quickly turned to concern. "Bella, what is it? You guys didn't break up did you? Come here and tell me everything." She patted her bed beside her.

I took a deep breath and momentarily closed my eyes, getting my bearings before beginning the God awful story I had to tell her.

"It might be difficult for me to explain…so I hope you have time because this is a doozy." I sat down beside her, put my elbows on my knees and held my head in my hands. I had no idea how I was going to tell her. I knew once I got to the part where Mace had done what he did to me, it would be a miracle if I was even able to speak it.

Angela put her hand on my shoulder. "Bella, I'm here for as long as you need."

So I started from the moment we separated at the party. I told her how I was trying to avoid all of the scuzzbuckets at the party and how I hid against the back wall waiting for Edward. I then proceeded to tell her how Edward came up behind me and the things he started doing to me. I told her how he dragged me into the back hall and what he was doing to me there. I know I was as red as a beet, never having said those things out loud before. Angela – God bless her – never once reacted in a degrading manner. She never looked at me like I was dirty for allowing those things to go on. She looked at me in a very comforting way and continued to encourage me.

"I'm embarrassed to say that I was completely enjoying it, Angela. I feel so bad for it. I should have known. I should have known." I was shaking my head.

"Bella, there is nothing wrong with enjoying the things your boyfriend does to you. You guys have been going out for a while, and you are a consensual adult. It's perfectly normal." She was trying to console me, but I didn't deserve consolation.

"Angela, I'm not finished. You won't be so approving once I am done with the story. Once I…" I knew I would have a hard time saying it, and it barely came out as a whisper, "_came_," I shivered as I continued, "he abruptly stopped and walked away. Took off toward the door."

She cut me off saying, "What a douche! Why would he –"

I held up my hand to stop her. "I followed after him, chasing him to see what I did wrong. I had almost caught up to him when…God, how do I even explain this without sounding like a fool? I looked up at the front door and saw _Edward_ coming in. Edward…in the Spock costume that we had picked out _together._ Edward…that had said he would be an hour late because something came up. _Edward_…my _**boyfriend**_."

She just stared at me, much like I had stared when I saw the events unfold in person. "What do you mean, Edward? Edward had just –"

I was shaking my head and cut her off. "Don't you think I was thinking the same thing? However, _Edward_ looked at…at…this…this _guy_ and nodded to him, greeting him as 'Mace' and they started having this whole conversation about Edward not needing to go to Alice's like he had been told. The whole time I was sitting there with my mouth gaping, waiting to be let in on the secret."

"Wait, wait, wait," Angela said quickly. "_Mace?_ Like pepper spray…or, or…tear gas? What the heck kind of name is that?"

I shook my head and continued, "I don't know…anyway, it doesn't matter what his name is. I finally managed to speak to _Edward_ once this Mace character left to find out what had just happened. This is where it gets really bad, Angela. This is where you will think twice about being my friend."

Angela started shaking her head. "Bella, nothing you could do would make me think twice about being your friend. You are a good person, and I know anything you did, there would be a good reason for it."

"Mace is Edward's twin brother. I don't know why and I don't know how, but he had to have known just what he was doing. He told Edward, 'I'm leaving. I got what I came for.' What could that mean, Angela? That _I_ was what he came for? Why? Why me?"

Angela rubbed circles on my back and spoke softly, "You are a beautiful woman, Bella, why _wouldn't_ he choose you? Besides, it sounds to me like…like he was trying to get back at Edward or something. Oh my God! Bella, what did Edward say when you told him?"

I stared at the ground, not moving.

"Bella? Bella, you _did_ tell Edward, right?"

As minutely as I possibly could, I shook my head.

"Oh Bella!" She wrapped me in her arms and started rocking us back and forth.

"How could I tell him, Angela? It would kill him! How could I have allowed that? How could I not have known it wasn't my boyfriend? I am the sorriest excuse for a girlfriend in the history of girlfriends!" I was nearly screaming.

"Oh honey. You said he was in a mask, didn't you? He came up behind you and whispered in your ear. He acted as if he _were_ Edward himself, so why wouldn't you think it was him? It's not your fault. Besides, I'm sure when you…well, you know…when you're…" it was just as hard for her to talk about that subject as it was for me. She started wringing her hands and mumbled, "You know, turned on…I guess it would be very easy to mistake someone who looked _exactly_ like your boyfriend, and _sounded_ exactly like your boyfriend as…well, your _boyfriend!" _This time Angela was the one nearly shouting.

She _did_ have a point there. I mean, I'm not exactly experienced in this whole sexual relations thing, and the ways that the body reacts to sexual stimuli, but she had a good argument. If someone can be drunk and sleep with a stranger – meaning they became aroused by someone they didn't know – and then not even remember it the next day, then I suppose it's possible for a person to be deceived by someone who was virtually a carbon copy of their boyfriend. _Right? Right? Well, at least it __**sounded**__ good._

Angela continued to reassure me, but it wasn't helping to alleviate any of the guilt. She did, however, mention one thing that briefly deflected some of the blame from me to Edward, and even caused me to be angry for that fleeting moment. He _had_ betrayed me by not telling me about his brother, and if he had told me about Mace, surely I would have known the difference. _I think._ However, in his defense, I admitted dejectedly, how was he to know I would run into him before he had a chance to tell me? So, that didn't rid me of my remorse. I didn't think anything could actually do that. It was something that was just there under the surface, festering, and only going to get worse if I kept it a secret. The worst thing about the whole situation was that I was a terrible secret keeper. When I was a little girl my papaw would tell me that I was his little 'open book' and everyone could tell how honest I was because you could read my eyes. _If only he could see me now. What a disappointment I turned out to be._

Later that evening, Edward sent me a text asking if I was feeling better. Not wanting him to bear anymore of my burden, I told him I was feeling much better. He then said he had my assignment from class he forgot to drop off earlier and asked if he could do it at this time. I acquiesced, because there was no way I was going to continue to let him think I was sulking because of his admission about his brother.

It wasn't long before he was sitting in my room with me, showing me the work from class with his arm wrapped around my shoulder. I was very fidgety, even though I tried my hardest not to be. I tried taking deep breaths, counting to ten, becoming 'one with the universe' or what have you, but nothing was working. I was still twitchy. When he had his arms around me, I couldn't help but worry that he would be able to tell that I had had someone else's hands all over my body just two days before. If he had any indication of this, he never let on to it.

Edward reached his hand up to push a piece of my hair behind my ear and I jumped.

He looked at me in question and said, "Bella…is everything okay? Are you still upset about the incident with my brother?"

My head nearly came loose from my spine when I jerked it so quickly to look him in the eye. "The-the-the…what?" Oh my God! Had he known? Why wouldn't he tell me? And how could he be so calm about it?

"A…about finding out about my…my brother. Are you still upset about that?"

I was breathing so rapidly and my heartbeat was so erratic, that I started to feel faint, yet again. I took three deep breaths and held the last one before releasing it ever so slowly. "No, Edward. I'm not upset about that anymore, I promise. I've just…just had a lot of things going on over the past couple of days and then with being sick on top of it…it's just got me in a tizzy. I couldn't stay mad at you; I care about you too much." _Yeah, so much so that I am keeping the biggest secret of my life from you._

Edward looked despondent and I feared that I hadn't portrayed my acceptance appropriately, but when the next words came out of his mouth, I realized that wasn't the case at all. "Bella…you know, you can tell me anything, right? I'm your boyfriend. I'm here for you. You don't have to hide your feelings from me. If something's bothering you, I'd like to know about it so that maybe I can help you. But, if you feel like you can't share things with me yet, I guess I understand, but I hope you change your mind on that eventually."

_Oh joy._ As if I didn't have enough guilt already. _Well, if I'm going to Hell, I might as well do it thoroughly._

"Actually, Edward, it's just my dad. He's having separation anxiety and I feel bad for him. I mean…we both know I had to do this, but the poor guy is just so distraught, and I can't help but feel responsible for his pain. It's been eating away at me since I spoke to him on Saturday. I just can't shake the feeling. I'm sorry if it makes you feel like I am not being a good," I swallowed the lump in my throat that formed from the word that followed, "girlfriend."

That lie was enough to convince him and give him the relief I was aiming for. It didn't make _me_ feel better, but this wasn't about me, now was it? Luckily, either Papaw was gifted in being able to read me or Edward simply hadn't learned how to yet. _Or_ my disgusted conscience hissed, _he just doesn't want to call you out on it yet._

_November 3, 2009_

Physiology class went along without a hitch. I was able to begin concentrating on schoolwork again, and on my relationship with Edward. I had decided I would let what happened be swept under the rug for now – yes, I know it is deceitful, yes, I know it is unhealthy – and go about my business. I had hoped that someday I would get this huge epiphany and a light would flash across the sky and tell me how to handle the situation. Yes, I was delirious. And I also knew that the longer it took for me to come clean with Edward, the worse it would hurt him in the long run.

Edward and I were walking toward our afternoon 'hot spot' and a faraway movement caught my eye, so I quickly turned my head in that direction. Standing off in the distance, leaning casually against a tree, looking as sinister as the devil himself, stood Mace. Staring. Right. At. Me. He licked his lips slowly and enticingly and then very conspicuously adjusted himself. He grinned wickedly and a shiver went up and down my spine.

Edward felt it and asked, "Are you cold? Do you want my jacket?"

I looked up at him and smiled. "No, I'm fine. Thanks, though." I stopped abruptly and Edward shifted to face me with a look of curiosity. I smiled sweetly and pulled him to me, snaking my arms around his waist and trailing my hands up his back. He was still looking at me curiously, but he grinned and licked his lips. He wrapped his arms around my waist and lowered his head to mine, kissing me gently. Gently was nice and sweet and all, and normally I wouldn't complain, but I was on a mission, once again. I wanted to show my affection toward Edward _publicly_. _Purposefully._ I slipped my tongue between his lips and he moaned, pulling me tighter to him. He wrestled his tongue against mine and I shifted forward, inadvertently coming in contact with his ever-growing erection. He squeezed my waist and broke the kiss, resting his forehead on mine.

"What was that for?" he asked breathlessly.

I shrugged and grinned. "I just suddenly felt the need to show you how I feel about you." As soon as the words left my mouth, I realized that even though it was not initially my intention, to show him how I felt about him, in that moment, when he looked at me with such a sweet smile sparkling in his eyes, I _did_ want to show him how I felt. I wanted _Edward_ to know how much I cared about him. I then reached up and traced his jawline with my finger, smiling sweetly and then pulled him into a softer, sweeter, more meaningful kiss. He reciprocated just as softly, and I could feel the emotion behind the kiss. The outside world melted away and it was just us, holding one another and kissing tenderly.

I finally pulled away, but not before placing a few more soft pecks against his lips.

With a huge smile on my face, I glanced slightly to the left of us to see Mace still staring. No longer looking wicked and cocky. For the briefest moment he looked…defeated? He noticed I was looking and he quickly resumed his composure, straightening his back and holding his head high. Right back to looking menacing. I took Edward by the arm and began walking in the direction we had been heading. I was so tempted to look back at Mace, but every fiber of my being told me it was the wrong thing to do.

_November 4, 2009_

"Would you like your usual, Bella?" Leah asked from behind the counter at the local coffee shop. I nodded and pulled out my wallet. Edward always tried to pay, but I had threatened his very existence if he didn't at least let me pay every other day. Unfortunately, this worked against me, because on the days I paid, he never ordered food. Just a soda. _Punk_.

We grabbed our things and began the trek back to our tree, when I adjusted my bag on my shoulder and glanced into the alley beside us. Looming in the darkness was none other than Mace, staring me down, with the same predatory look, yet again. Also, yet again, I shivered in reaction. I turned away and began walking faster.

"Bella?" Edward laughed. "Are you in a hurry or something? What's gotten into you?"

Once we were fully past the alleyway, I slowed down, peaking over my shoulder to make sure Mace wasn't brave enough to follow us. "Oh nothing," I chuckled. "I just want to sit down. I'm tired."

Edward lifted an eyebrow. "You…you kinda look like you've seen a ghost. Are you sure you're okay?"

He started to look over his shoulder when I grabbed him by the hand and began walking quickly again. "Ghost?" I giggled and snorted – trying to make it sound sincere. "I don't believe in ghosts, Edward. Do you?"

Edward laughed. "No, not especially. But you still look like you saw one." He elbowed me in the side and we continued to our tree. I repeatedly looked back, but never saw Mace behind us.

I was both disappointed and relieved.

_November 5, 2009_

I was meeting Edward at the coffee shop after my morning class. He didn't have an early class on Wednesdays, so we always met separately. He would spend an hour or so using their wi-fi for studying until I showed up.

I had just turned onto the street where the coffee shop was and noticed a shadow in the doorway of a nearby building I was getting ready to pass. I darted my eyes in several directions hoping to find a witness or someone to help me if this shadow turned out to be a threat. I widened my path, walking as close to the curb as possible to avoid the doorway of the stranger.

The closer I got, the more the shadow began inching out from the darkness, until finally I could make out his features. Mace. _Of course._

I looked toward the deli to make sure Edward was no where in sight, and I pointed my finger at Mace. "You better quit following me or I'm –"

"Or you'll what, Isabella? Tell your _boyfriend?_ I highly doubt that." He smirked at me and winked. "I think you rather enjoy being watched, Bella. I think you keep your curtain slightly opened in your room just hoping someone – more accurately _me_ – is looking in at you. Isn't that right, Bella?" His voice dripped with accusation.

I scoffed at him. "In your dreams, Mace."

This made his smile increase exponentially, resembling Dr. Seuss's Grinch. "Oh, so much more than that happens in _my_ dreams, Isabella. Question is: What happens in _yours?_ Do you see your darling boyfriend, or do you see _me?_"

"Pshhh. Don't flatter yourself, Mace. And stop calling me Isabella. My name is Bella. But, in fact, I'd like you to stop speaking to me period, so just…just forget my name."

I started to move past him, but he stepped out in front of me, putting his hands on my shoulders. "Say it like you mean it, _Bella_, and I will stay away and never bother you again." He looked grief-stricken for the briefest of moments, but when he realized nothing was coming out of my mouth, he morphed back into his intimidating self once again. "That's what I thought, Isabella. You can't. You can't say that you want me to stay away because you don't." He lowered his lips to my ear as he hissed, "Just remember whose lips you desire to be pressed against yours, and whose fingers you yearn for in your –"

I slapped him. Hard. But the worst part about slapping him was that I didn't do it because the vulgar words coming out of his mouth were so disrespectful. No, I did it because I didn't want to hear those words for the simple fact that at that moment, I was afraid they were true. I couldn't explain the undeniable pull I had to this man, which is why I wanted him as far away from me as possible.

I zipped past him and darted into the coffee shop as fast as my tiny legs could carry me.

I was out of breath when I sat down with Edward and he grinned and shook his head. "I don't know why you were in such a hurry, Bella. We have all day."

I faked a giggle and responded, "I know. I'm just so thirsty!" I looked out the front window of the deli and saw Mace walking on the other side of the road. He looked right at me, winked and blew me a kiss. I discreetly flipped him off, and he responded with a nod and a smirk. I rolled my eyes and shook my head, noticing Edward looking oddly at me.

"What was that about?" He nodded his head toward me.

"Oh, I just remembered something my professor said we had to do by this weekend. It's a bunch of bull crap." _And the lies just keep coming._

After my time with Edward, I went back to my dorm to read some of the literature I needed for my class the following morning. I had been sitting there reading for a couple of hours when my cell rang. Knowing it had to be Edward, I grinned. However, just before I hit send I noticed it wasn't Edward's number.

"Hello?"

There was no response, but I could tell someone was there; I could hear their breathing.

"Hello…who is this?" I hadn't given my number to anyone other than Angela, Edward, and my dad.

I heard rustling fabric and the breathing increased, almost sounding like…_no way. Please, no way._

"Listen, I don't know how you got my number, but you better lose it pervert." I quickly hung up. The sick feeling in my stomach told me that it had been Mace, but I knew that wasn't possible. He had no way to get my number. I knew Edward wouldn't give it to him. It had to have been someone just calling random numbers and making disgusting, _sexual_ sounds.

I started reading again, but I wasn't focusing quite as well. I had to reread several paragraphs in order to absorb the knowledge.

My phone rang again about thirty minutes later. My heart dropped, but I looked at the caller id and saw it was Edward, so I breathed a sigh of relief.

He had called to tell me he was cutting out early because he had a headache and he would see me the following morning.

Another five or ten minutes later and my phone rang once more, and I assumed Edward had forgotten to tell me something so I just answered without looking at the screen.

"Hello?"

Breathing. Heavy breathing. That's all I heard. I started to hang up, but I heard words being mumbled. I couldn't decipher them, so stupidly I asked the caller to repeat them.

"C'est juste une question de temps."

I caught my breath. "Leave me alone!" I ended the call.

_It's just a matter of time._ What's just a matter of time? My stomach twisted in knots and I was starting to get paranoid. I glanced at my curtains and saw they were partially cracked. I remembered what Mace had said and wondered if he really did watch my window. I had a sick feeling that he very well may have been. I closed them tightly and curled into a ball on my bed.

My phone rang again, causing me to squeal. I answered it with shaking hands. I didn't bother to greet the caller, being pretty sure it was the same person.

"Ne soyez pas timide, ma belle. Bientôt vous serez à moi."

"I will never be yours, asshole! Leave me alone! Don't call me again!" I ended the call and turned my phone off. I knew it was Mace and he _was_ watching my window.

_Don't be shy._ What the hell? Who did he think he was?

I heard the doorknob wriggle and I screamed bloody murder. Angela came running into the room as fast as she could.

"Bella! What's the matter?" She ran over to me and wrapped her arms around me and I started bawling against her shoulder. "Calm down, sweetie, it's okay."

"Mace won't leave me alone. I'm so scared Angela. Everywhere I turn, there he is. How does he know where I am? He even got my cell number! How did he do that?" I was sobbing and my words were probably hard to understand, but she patted my back while I wailed.

"What do you mean? Like, he's following you? You should call the police, Bella. Stalking is illegal. You can get a restraining order on him."

"I have thought about that, Angela, but then he will surely retaliate and tell Edward what happened on Halloween. I can't let _him_ be the one to tell Edward. That will surely make Edward hate me. I have to be the one to tell him." _But how will I do that?_

Angela and I discussed the pros and cons of the situation and the options I had and it seemed that until I told Edward what had happened, I really didn't have any options except to make sure I was never alone. But that wouldn't keep me from _seeing_ him everywhere I went. It would just keep me safe. Nonetheless, it was all I had.

_November 6, 2009_

I had managed to fall asleep after the debacle of the previous night, and I awoke encouraged, knowing Edward would be with me in a matter of minutes. I tried to push aside my anxiety and worry, hoping that Mace would eventually just give up. I mean, if I didn't give him the time of day, he would get bored eventually, right?

I grabbed my cell and remembered I had turned it off the night before. I had two texts waiting. Both from the number I didn't recognize. I wasn't sure I if I wanted to read them, but then I thought it wouldn't hurt – I never had to let on that I had read them.

The first one read –

_Good idea to close the curtains. You never know what kind of sickos are out there XD_

I rolled my eyes and thought to myself that he was one of those sickos he pretended to warn me about. I opened the second text.

_Sleep well, Isabella. Dream of me with my fingers deep inside you, making you cum like no one ever has before._

I shuddered. What a sadistic creep. I deleted the texts and went to class, wishing I could feel the abhorrence for him that I needed to – that I _should_ from the way he spoke to me. _It should be so easy…_

After class, it was too chilly to go to our tree, so we decided to hang out at the coffee shop for a while.

"You know," Edward said as he threaded his fingers up through mine and then down through them repeatedly. "We should probably try to think of another private place we can go to during the winter months. I don't think I can refrain from an occasional grope for an entire four months. I would need at least a weekly one, you know?" He grinned as he kissed my cheek.

I giggled and turned my head to kiss him on his lips. We continued to thread our fingers in and out of each others' as we kissed in a way that was bordering unacceptable PDA. I felt my phone buzz in my pocket and I got a sick feeling once again. I tried to ignore it, but Edward felt it and asked me if I wanted to answer it. I tried to ignore him and continue kissing, but he insisted I answer it in case it was important since Angela and my dad were the only ones who had my number.

I scooted over so that I could reach into my pocket, and inconspicuously turn myself so that he couldn't see my phone. I opened the text, trying desperately to keep my face void of any panic or reaction whatsoever.

_Have you told your darling boyfriend about your little escapade?_

There was a picture attached, which I opened, and gasped loudly. It was a picture of Mace, pinning me against the wall at the Halloween party, with my legs wrapped around his hips and his hand up under my skirt.

**I know that many of you are probably thoroughly creeped out by Mace, but there are a few of us *cough* who are mentally unstable (apparently like Bella) who are oddly turned on by his predatory behavior, so please be gentle to Bella. :)**

**All reviews get a teaser, but nice reviews get a better one *snicker* (just kidding)**


	11. What a Tangled Web We Weave

Humongous, ginormous hugs and kisses and chocolate rain to my LC – Alitriona/Eila, Allysue08, Rags88, Revrag, Shereebedee, Spellboundagain, and Whatobsession17. Thank you so much for holding my hand during the harder parts of this store ;)

Since SM is still alive, these characters still belong to her, I'm only leasing!

**Oh what a tangled web we weave, when first we practice to deceive**

_November 7, 2009_

My lies were getting out of hand. It was to the point that I was afraid to open my mouth. I wasn't sure where the lies ended and the truth began. I was sure I would end up contradicting myself in one way or another. I was always on guard for Edward to show up with information from Mace pertaining to me and…well, whatever was going on between us.

Receiving the incriminating text from him the day before caused me to run to the bathroom vomiting profusely. Every bit of food I had just ingested was now joining the sewers beneath the city. _That's seven bucks I'll never get back._

I came out of the bathroom and ran smack dab into a very worried Edward. "Bella, is everything okay? What happened?"

I had never been a good liar. Never once did my dad believe me when I lied, so I don't know how the words came so quickly and I was even more flabbergasted that Edward seemed to believe them. "Oh, man, I'm so sorry." I smiled as sweetly as I could manage. "Angela texted me telling me about her grandma's cataract surgery and it made me sick. I can't think of eyes being…" I gulped – because at least this part was true – and then continued, "operated on and just…eww."

Edward chuckled and wrapped his arm around my shoulder. "Umbella, whatever will I do with you? I guess it's a good thing you are going into literature instead of medicine, huh?"

So there I was, sitting on my bed, writing in my journal, under the heading I had so graciously given the week's entries:

"_Oh what a tangled web we weave, when first we practice to deceive"_

Sir Walter Scott sure knew what he was talking about. It was like a domino effect – I had to lie to cover up a lie to cover up a lie to cover up a lie, so on and so forth. When all was said and done you couldn't distinguish the beginning from the end. I had finally become what I had always despised – dishonest.

After I finished up the plethora of whiny entries in my journal, I pulled out a fresh notebook and started listing off ways to pull myself out of this downhill spiral. It wasn't going to be easy, but I was determined to make our relationship based on trust. I wasn't sure how to go about doing this, but I had a mission, and I never failed a mission.

* * *

_November 15, 2009_

After I had made my vow to be honest, I had followed through completely. I hadn't come clean with the lies I had already told, but I didn't add anymore to the list. This was monumentally easier for the simple fact that I hadn't seen hide nor hair of Mace since the day I had slapped him, and I hadn't received anymore texts after the picture. I was ecstatic that Mace had finally given up on me and I was able to fully focus on Edward and me.

I called Charlie at three for our Sunday afternoon ritual.

"Hey, Bells. How are things?" I could always hear the smile in my dad's voice when I called him and it always instigated a smile from me in return.

"Things are good, Dad. How about you? Catch anything edible yesterday?" I laughed because since Sue Clearwater had been coming around almost daily to help with his cleaning and to occasionally cook him supper, he had to incorporate the 'catch and release' rule when he went fishing. Sue refused to cook _fresh_ fish as she liked to call it. She was a firm believer in fish sticks being the only kind of fish to ever cross her lips.

"Very funny, Bells. I _did_, however, catch a nine-pound large mouther yesterday. I beat Billy's record for this year. He was so angry. He has to buy the beer next trip now." Dad laughed a nice hearty laugh.

We filled each other in on our week's activities and just as our conversation was coming to an end, Dad asked about Thanksgiving. With the entire goings on with Edward and Mace, I had totally forgotten about Thanksgiving. I told him when our break started and before I could mention any plan he interrupted me to tell me he was coming to Massachusetts to spend the time with me so that I could come home for Christmas, since we both knew I couldn't do both.

I was so excited to have my dad come to visit that I literally squealed, which caused him to grumble and tell me to calm down because he wasn't that exciting to be around.

I ended the call with my dad and realized I had no idea what Edward was doing for the holiday. I was sure he would be going home as were most of the other students. I called him shortly after I hung up with my dad and he answered on the second ring.

"It's raining; shouldn't you be protecting someone from the rain, Umbella?"

"Har, har, you're so funny," I said sarcastically.

"That I am, my dearest Umbella." He chuckled softly.

"Wow, you are in quite the good mood, did someone give you some happy pills?" I asked.

"Are yoos insinuatin' I'm less than rapt?" Edward asked in a thick Australian accent.

I giggled and said, "Oh yes, mah dear Eduardo. I consider ye quite the emo chap." My response was a mixture of British and Italian and left much to be desired, which in turn caused an eruption of laughter to come from the other end of the phone.

He poked fun of me for a few minutes for my lacking accent ability. Once he had had his fill of teasing, I asked him about the holiday. He was leaving for Chicago early on the twenty-second, meaning I had only six days left with him until we would be separated for an entire week.

We made plans to spend extra time together to help make up for the time we would have apart. Yes, it was a bit 'high-schoolish' but what do you expect coming from two people who were new to this whole relationship thing?

We talked until I could hardly keep my eyes open and every single sentence was enunciated with a yawn. Edward convinced me that we should get some sleep in order to be 'bright and bushy' – his absolute favorite phrase for morning appearances – the following morning.

I barely had my light turned out before I was happily dreaming.

* * *

_November 18, 2009_

As planned, we had been spending every possible second of every day with each other, so when my morning class let out thirty minutes early, I felt like kissing my professor. I nearly sprinted the entire way to the coffee shop where I knew Edward was waiting for me, just like he had every Wednesday since we had become a couple.

I had my handle on the door and just before I opened it, I laid eyes on a sight that had been my biggest fear for as long as I could remember.

Edward was sitting in his usual spot on the couch in the corner, and a girl – who looked an awful lot like…_oh God…Lauren? _– was straddling his lap with her hands buried in his hair, and her tongue buried in his mouth, while his hands gripped her hips.

I couldn't watch. I couldn't even wait to see that it was, in fact, Edward – and of course it _was_ Edward; it was where he sat every single time.

I turned around and ran straight back to my dorm, bawling my eyes out the entire way. I busted into my room and threw myself onto my bed, sobbing hysterically. I knew Edward liking me was too good to be true, but what could he have had to gain from a false relationship with me? He didn't need my help with schoolwork. I didn't have any money – I mean, heck, half of the time he was buying my lunches for me. It didn't make any sense, but it didn't matter anymore anyway.

_Maybe it really was Mace…_

I thought of this for a few minutes. What were the possibilities? Mace knew my schedule backwards and forwards of course. He most likely manipulated the events of the Halloween party, so he was definitely capable of doing this as well.

_What am I saying?_

Of course it had to have been Edward. He would have told me if he wasn't going to be there for our lunch. It was him. He just thought he still had time before I showed up, so he had no reason to hide.

I fell asleep crying and was awakened by Angela softly tapping me on the shoulder. "Bella? Is everything okay? Your phone has been going off for the last hour non-stop every three minutes."

Without lifting my head, I reached over to my bag, which was beside my bed, pulled out my phone and switched it off, then threw it back in my bag. She took that as a hint to let me have my time and I would come around when I was good and ready. The problem was, however, would I ever be good and ready to admit what had happened to me? My heart had been crushed. How does one come back from that?

I must have fallen back asleep because a knock on the door awoke me once again. I snapped my head up to see if Angela was going to answer it, but I was alone in the room, so I was safe for the time being. The knocking continued and I just ignored it. Eventually, it subsided and I lay there wide awake and restless. I heard a shuffling and glanced over to see a note being pushed under my door. I didn't move.

I was unable to fall asleep after that because a masochistic part of me wanted to read the note, which had been shoved into my room. I wasn't even sure it was addressed to me, but I could only imagine it had been. After all, Edward hadn't even known I saw him with Lauren. Surely he had come to look for me, right? That thought turned my stomach. How many times had he met with Lauren before? Was this a regular occurrence? Had she been laughing behind my back this whole time?

Angela came in a short time later and noticed the letter on the floor. She picked it up and looked over at me, quirking an eyebrow. "It says, 'Umbella' on it."

My response was simple. I started wailing yet again. He even used my nickname! How could he? He was lip-locked with another girl merely hours before and he had the audacity to call me a freaking pet name? "Tear it up!" I screamed and continued to cry dramatically.

I felt Angela's hand rubbing circles on my back as she softly said, "Let it all out, Bella. Let it out."

And I did. Until I lost my voice.

* * *

_November 21, 2009_

I knew it was childish, but I skipped my classes on Thursday, unable to look Edward in the eye after what had transpired. I never turned my phone back on, so I had no idea how many times he had tried to call me, and I was sure he had still been trying, because he had been to my dorm at least three more times between Wednesday evening and Saturday morning. Another piece of my heart broke when I realized that that would have been my last chance to see him before he left for Chicago.

I realized I needed to put closure on our relationship so that he would know exactly what he had done to end it. I turned on my phone to send him a text, ignoring the alert that told me I had twenty-four messages. _Well, at least he's persistent…_

I began typing out the message. I had to edit it five times in order to fit in everything I needed to say within the small amount of characters the phone company allowed.

_I just thought you should know I was privy to your little romp with Lauren and that's why we are no longer an 'us'. Goodbye Edward, have a nice life._

I quickly turned my phone back off and high-tailed it to the library to hide out for the remainder of the day, just in case Edward tried to coerce me out of my decision.

I stayed away from my dorm until curfew, when I knew it was safe because Edward would never break a rule, no matter what.

As I opened my door, Angela looked up, but quickly averted her eyes, letting me know she was hiding something. I shrugged it off, not really caring, just wanting to curl up in my bed and let sleep overtake me once again. I knew if I could just make it until Edward had left the vicinity then I would be able to relax and be comfortable once again. My façade would be perfected by the time my dad arrived on Wednesday and I would be able to distract myself from the utter despair I was feeling deep inside.

I dropped my bag and pulled my covers back on my bed and froze. There, in the middle of my bed, was a huge pink fluorescent piece of poster board with perfectly scripted letters, six inches in height spelling out the words, 'It's a misunderstanding, I swear. Please believe me. I have no reason to lie to you." There was a note attached with pink block letters that said, 'Read me plz'.

I looked over at Angela as menacingly as I could possibly look at my best friend whom I loved dearly, knowing that no matter what I felt, she would never purposely hurt me, and it was senseless for me to even attempt to be angry with her.

"You should read it, Bella. He told me the whole story, and I can't help but believe him. Lauren is a tramp. Think about it. Why would Edward be with someone like her?" She looked at me pleadingly.

I rolled my eyes and sighed. Moving the huge poster, I tore the note from it, and sat on my bed.

I tried to steady my hands, but it was no use. I finally rested the paper on the bed in order to be able to read the words my shaking hands wouldn't allow.

_My darling Umbella,_

_ I don't know how you managed to see the scene that you saw unless you have the worst luck in the history of all humans. I'm sorry. This is not a time to joke. However, I have to tell you that the whole situation played out in less than a minute. You had to have looked upon it at the exact right moment in order to not have seen the ending. Let me first tell you that it wasn't even meant to be me. Apparently, someone had told Lauren (I didn't even realize that was her name until later) that Mace frequented the coffee shop and she took it upon herself to ravage him without as much as a warning. The moment I realized I had just been attacked, I removed her from my lap as fast as I could. She continued to try some sort of disgusting seduction, when I blatantly told her that I had a girlfriend and she would be wise to leave the premises before you arrived. It was then that I realized she thought I was my brother. She made a comment about how that explained my new geeky appearance. I cleared things up with her quickly, and trust me, she has no interest in me. When she found out my brother was the dark and mysterious version of me, she quickly removed herself from my company._

_ I swear I would never do anything to hurt you, Bella. I promise on everything I hold dear that this is the truth. Please believe me. More than anything, I am saddened by the fact that this caused me to miss my very last chance to see you before I leave for Chicago. I will miss you tremendously. Please, contact me somehow and tell me you accept my apology? I beg of you._

_ Love, _

_ Edward_

I paced back and forth for thirty minutes, verbally bouncing ideas off of the wall as Angela sat watching me in contemplation. She believed Edward – of course she did, she gave everyone the benefit of the doubt.

"Has he lied to you before, Bella?" I sadly shook my head, because we both knew that I had lied to him on more than one occasion, so if anyone had a reason to doubt, it would be him. "Then maybe he's telling the truth."

I slumped down on my bed, leaning forward with my elbows on my knees and nodded. "I know, Angela, but could it really be that simple? Everything works against me, so it's always so easy to assume the worst. It's hard to accept something that seems too good to be true."

"Well, as the late Brandon Lee said in his role of Eric in the totally awesome movie _The Crow_, 'It can't rain all the time,' and as Wesley Snipes' character, Sidney, said in _White Men Can't Jump_, 'even the sun shines on a dog's ass some days,' so yes, Bella, I think you should accept something positive happening in your life."

Angela was a movie-quoting queen and anytime she could use a quote from a movie to her advantage, she did. We both sat there giggling quoting different lines from our favorite movies until we had laughed so hard our stomachs hurt.

"Okay, okay. I guess I better text him and let him know my decision, but, I'm coming clean when he gets back, so there's a chance this might not be a done deal. He may not be as forgiving of me. But, I can't live like this anymore. I'm not a deceitful person."

We both got ready for bed and I sent a quit message to Edward just before I shut out the light.

_I believe U & I'm sorry 4 not giving U a chance 2 explain. I was hurt & wouldn't listen. We can talk when U get back, k? I've smthng u need 2 hear 2. be safe :)_

I knew Edward wouldn't respond until the next afternoon because his flight was leaving at three in the morning so he had to have already been sleeping. So with this knowledge, I was able to fall asleep quickly.

* * *

_November 22, 2009_

Angela left for home around noon and I was left to my own devices. Edward hadn't texted me but I was certain he would once things had calmed down with his family. I took the time alone to clean my room, do some laundry and get started on my essay, which was due at the end of break. _Gotta love a professor who assigns work for your vacation._ I wanted to make sure I had as much time to spend with my dad as possible, so I didn't want to have anything on my agenda by the time he came to town.

I finally received a response from Edward and it made me smile.

_Finally had a free moment. Your txt was a breath of fresh air. I'm so relieved. I wish you were here. I miss you already. Talk 2U soon, I hope. :)_

I didn't want to interfere with his family time so I just sent him a quick note telling him I missed him and for him to text me when he had free time, and I went back to my distractions.

* * *

_November 25, 2009_

I was sitting on the bench in front of the dorm, freezing my tail off, waiting for my dad. He had called when he left the airport to let me know he was twenty minutes away, so I grabbed my coat and rushed out to meet him. I guess I was a bit anxious. By the time he arrived – twenty-two minutes later – I was suffering from frostbite. Okay, not really, but it sure seemed like it.

I wrapped my arms around his waist and squeezed the life out of him. He chuckled, but hugged me back just as eagerly.

"Well, it's nice to know someone actually misses their ole dad. It's good to see you kiddo." He kissed me on the top of the head and patted my back a couple more times. "Let's get inside before you turn into a Popsicle."

Dad was impressed with my room, saying he expected it to look like a party zone and it more resembled a study area, which made him rather proud of the both of us. I made a mental note to tell Angela when she returned because she was all about looking scholarly.

We hung out around the campus for the majority of the day. I took him on a complete tour of all things relevant to the life I lead – which I must admit wasn't much, considering where I spent most of my time. I didn't dare show him my favorite tree, especially since I hadn't even mentioned that I had a boyfriend. Of course the subject came up eventually anyway.

"So, Bells, has any suitor caught your eye?" Dad didn't look me in the eye when he asked and I figured he didn't really want to know the answer. He just thought it was the fatherly thing to do.

"Suitor, dad? What is this, the fifteenth century?" I hip bumped him and giggled.

"Fine…do you have any _boyfriends_ then?" he grumbled and rolled his eyes.

"Boyfriendzah? As in more than one? What do you take me for dad?" Yes, I was stalling.

He held up his hands in surrender. "Okay, I get it, I get it. It's a sore subject. I guess one of these yahoos already broke your heart?"

I gave him a look as if to say, 'are you sure you wanna do this?' and said, "Are we gonna talk about boys?"

Without missing a beat he said, "How's the football team doing this year?"

I laughed and slapped him on the back. "Welcome back, Charlie."

The rest of the evening was spent talking about everything that would completely avoid the topic of boys, and I was grateful for that. I honestly think my dad was as well. He had never been one to really know how to broach the subject of boyfriends and relationships and whatnot.

Eventually, he left to go to his hotel. He offered for me to come, because he was worried about me being in the dorm alone. I explained to him that I wasn't completely alone and there were security guards around campus. He still didn't like it but he let it go. We made plans to meet the next day and go to the local Bob Evans for a nice Thanksgiving dinner. _Hey, don't knock it. I was raised in Forks, Bob Evans is a step up from our local diner._

_

* * *

_

_November 26, 2009_

I was due to meet my dad in front of his hotel room at three-thirty. Just like always, I had left a bit too early, so I was stalling as I casually walked in the direction of his block.

I was admiring the scenery throughout the deserted town, not really paying attention to where I was walking. I glanced at a red bird on a tree across the street and bumped right into something…or rather some_one_. I gasped as I looked into a pair of piercing green eyes, which were narrowed at me.

"Isabella. You really should watch where you are going. Especially when walking alone on a sidewalk in the middle of an empty town with no witnesses anywhere in sight." He put his hands on my shoulders and smirked. "You never know what you might run into."

"Mace…what…why aren't you home with your family?" I tried to step nonchalantly out of his grasp, but he tightened his hold.

"Well, it seems that, unlike my darling brother, I have something right here in this very town that holds my attention far greater than any family member does, and definitely greater than some blonde bimbo." He pulled me closer to him as he emphasized that point.

My jaw went slack. I didn't get a chance to ask him how he knew, because he continued with, "It's a shame you had to see that. But honestly, how could Eddie boy have known that Professor Ateara had to have a root canal and class let out early."

"How did you…it doesn't matter. The situation with Lauren was a misunderstanding, nothing more." I managed to wriggle free from his hands and put some much needed space between us. I needed to think straight and this was something I couldn't do in close proximity to Mace.

He laughed darkly. "Oh, so naïve, dearest Isabella. It was no misunderstanding."

"Okay then. Well, Mace, I am meeting my dad for Thanksgiving dinner, so…uh…yeah, I guess I'll see you around." I quickly shuffled away, not giving him enough time to say anything more to me.

_What did he mean by those things he said? Surely that hadn't been one of his schemes, had it?_

I was starting to wonder just how much Mace was capable of and just how far he would go to get whatever, or _whoever_ it was he wanted.

* * *

_November 27, 2009_

"I wish I could have stayed longer, kiddo, but you know that the big old town of Forks can't go more than three days without a Chief of Police. The gas station might get robbed or someone might run a red light." Dad was grinning, but I could see the sadness in his eyes. He didn't want to go any more than I wanted him to go. Two-and-a-half days together was just not enough time for father-daughter bonding after being apart for three months.

"Just think, Dad, I will be home in four weeks. Sue can actually cook and clean her own house and not have to worry with yours. Imagine that."

I thought I caught a wistful look in his eyes, but it was quickly replaced with false anger. "I try to get that woman to quit cleaning my house, but she won't lay off! She's always dusting and vacuuming and…" he leaned in to whisper with a look of horror, "she even does my laundry, Bells. That there should be private, man."

I laughed and hugged him tightly. "Maybe I will have a talk with Miss Sue for ya. I love you, Dad. I'll see you soon, 'kay?"

* * *

_November 28, 2009_

Edward and Angela both were coming back and I had to admit that I was suffering from a huge case of cabin fever and I-miss-my-BFF-and-boyfriend syndrome. I enjoyed my time with my dad, but sometimes you just need your best girlfriend to talk to. And even though I was nervous to see Edward, I was anxious for his touch – even if it happened to be the very last one ever.

I had mentally practiced our conversation from every angle. I _felt_ prepared for every possible outcome. Of course, that all could change once it came down to it, and it more than likely was going to. Nonetheless, I had decided that come hell or high water, I was coming clean and I would lie in the bed that I made, no matter how uncomfortable that bed would be.

Edward had texted me, telling me what time he would be at my dorm to pick me up. He said he wasn't dropping his things off at his room first and he begged me if he could leave them at my place. He told me he wasn't spending one second longer without seeing me than he absolutely had to, so he would leave his things outside if need be. I was grinning like a fool when I texted him back to say he was more than welcome to using my room for storage.

A knock came fifteen minutes earlier than planned, so it caught me off guard. I squeaked and ran towards the door. I flung it opened and breathed a huge sigh of relief.

Edward was standing there with his bags at his feet, full grin in place, with a teddy bear the size of an Ewok in his hands. With so much intensity, he began quoting Star Trek, "_She's...she's just a girl. You're...you smell like a girl. All the other girls on the ship, they...they look just like Tina. You're the only one...who looks like you. You can understand, can't you? You know about...being with somebody? Wanting to be? If I had the whole universe...I'd give it to you. When I see you, I…I feel like I'm hungry...all over. Hungry. Do you know how _that_ feels?_"*

I smiled widely and replied, "That's enough, Charlie."

I lunged at him, nearly knocking him over with the force of a thousand Cardassians as I decorated his face with dozens of kisses. I couldn't believe how wonderful those words sounded coming from his mouth. He sounded just like Charlie Evans with the emphasis in all the right places and the pauses and the intensity in his eyes. I was a puddle of goo at that man's feet.

Edward dropped the bear in his hands and wrapped his arms around me, lifting me off the ground alternating kisses between my lips and my cheek and my chin and my nose and just laughing in between each of them.

After about five minutes of continuous lip exploration, he finally pulled away grinning. "I picked this guy up for you on the way here. He looked like you." When I gasped and my eyes nearly bugged out of my head he backpedaled, "Wait…I didn't mean he looked _like_ you, like you look like a bear, I meant that he looked suited for you…wait…crap." He huffed and ran his fingers through his hair exasperated.

I started laughing. "I know what you meant, Edward. I'm just giving you a hard time. I _do_ love it. I can hold onto him when you and I are apart and I need a hug from a man who cares about me." I winked and snickered.

"Just as long as he doesn't get more hugs than I do, then I'm fine with that. Now…are you ready for your post Thanksgiving dinner with me?"

We placed Edward's bags in my closet, grabbed my things and headed out the door. The restaurant wasn't too far away, but it was very cold, so we opted to take the bus. Edward had his arm around me the entire way and he was threading his fingers of his other hand through my fingers as we talked about our vacation.

Once we reached the restaurant I started getting butterflies in my stomach. I knew what I had to tell him, I just wasn't sure how to go about doing it. I didn't want him to think I had set it up to be in public so that he couldn't lose his temper. However, I knew we wouldn't have any time alone until Monday and I wasn't willing to let this wait any longer.

My anxiety must have been palpable because Edward squeezed my shoulder and whispered in my ear, "Is everything okay?"

I nodded and smiled, afraid my voice would betray me.

After our appetizers had been served, I took a deep breath and steeled myself for my speech. I had practiced it all week, and every time I changed it, so finally I just decided to have a starting point and go from there. So I did.

"Edward, about last week…" That was all I managed to say before he raised his hands and cut me off.

"Bella, I meant every word I said. I'm so sorry and I would never –"

I shook my head and held up a finger. "No, Edward, I know what you want to say, and I believe you, a hundred percent. It's not about that. I told you I had something to tell you. And I'm afraid it will change things between us. Before I start, I want to say that I'm so very sorry. It wasn't my fault. I honestly didn't know. But it's no excuse for not telling you. The night at –"

"Bella. Look. If you say something happened and it wasn't your fault, I believe you. I am in no position to point fingers to someone in the very same boat as I was in. I trust you, Bella. It doesn't matter anymore. Let's start fresh. Water under the bridge and all that." He grinned and reached across the table to wrap his hand around mine.

"I know you trust me, Edward, but you really shouldn't. I wasn't honest. At the –"

"I mean it, Bella. It doesn't matter anymore. Whatever it is. Do you plan to do it again?" I shook my head and looked at him in horror for him to even think I would. "Okay then, that's all I need to know."

"But, Ed–"

Edward huffed and squeezed my hand. "No! Just stop, Bella. I mean it. Let's enjoy this dinner. I have missed you terribly."

Regrettably, I ended the discussion. I was not happy whatsoever with him not allowing me to tell him what had happened. I couldn't understand why he didn't want to hear. But, what could I do? If he wouldn't let me tell him and he said it was 'water under the bridge,' did this mean I was freed from my guilt? It sure didn't feel like it.

* * *

_December 16, 2009_

The days following Thanksgiving passed incredibly fast, as they had every year, but this year it seemed to be so much quicker. Because this year I had someone I was going to miss desperately during the ten days I spent back in Forks with my dad.

Edward never let me bring up my confession again. Anytime I would even attempt to do so, he would give me an evil glare and dare me to speak another word. I finally accepted that he didn't want to know and if and when (because I was pretty sure it _would_ come out eventually) it was revealed I would have to cross that bridge when I got there.

Besides all of the hullabaloo that was going on around campus with our break fast approaching and work that needed turned in before the deadline, mine and Edward's schedule had gone back to normal. We had, indeed, found a new place to hang out after class that was semi private. It was the locker room for the girl's softball team. It wasn't being used during the winter months, so we were mostly alone. However, we had to be careful because we weren't completely secluded and we could get interrupted at any given moment.

Edward and I were cozied up in our little corner of the locker room, as always and he was inching his hand up my shirt once again. We had both become quite comfortable with second base. Edward always ended up with his hand down my pants, but only occasionally let me put mine down his. He said he hated cleaning up after that. I offered to bring towels because we were, well, in a locker room and there was water and it was _right there_, but he always declined. I wondered if he was afraid to actually let me _see_ him or something. He never specified and I was a bit too afraid to ask.

On this day, though, I had snuck a towel in anyway. By golly, I was gonna make that guy cum if my life depended on it.

Edward's fingers slipped under my bra and I dipped my fingers in his waistband. He continued to kiss me, but slowly took my wrist and moved my hand away from his waist.

I moaned and arched my back, causing his fingers to press harder into my nipple as I kissed him deeper and more fervently. I was hoping to have him in such a daze that he would give in unintentionally. _Yes, I am a dirty cheater._

I grasped his shirt with my left hand, moaning again and writhing underneath his fingertips. As fast as I could possibly do so, I slipped my hand into his pants and grabbed a handful of a very stiff part of Edward. He 'oomph'd and tried to stop me, but I began to stroke him before he got the chance.

"Ungh…Bella…mmm…oh, you….oh God…need…holy crap…to stop." He wasn't stopping me, however, so I continued. I was a woman on a mission.

"It's okay, Edward. I brought cleanup supplies. But, to make it easier, maybe we should…you should…take…take it out?"

He was breathless and moaning and thrusting his hips and simply nodded as he unzipped his pants.

I had seen a…_penis_…before, and to be honest, I was never impressed. They weren't attractive and I didn't see why girls went gaga over them. That was until I saw the one attached to the man that I…thought I just might have been falling in love with. It was beautiful. And watching his face as I held it in my hand was…magnificent.

"Bella…oh God!...Oh…oh, I'm…oh, I'm gonna…"

Ok, now _that_ wasn't beautiful. By any means. Thank God Edward had his eyes closed because I was sure I had a horrible look before I righted myself and began kissing him with a smile on my face once again.

Once Edward was no longer out of breath, he twisted us so that I was on my back and he was hovering completely above of me. He continued to kiss me and started pushing his fingers down under my waistband and as he did, I felt…_it_…touch my stomach and I sort of freaked out. I mean, it was kind of close to my lady bits and well, we hadn't discussed _that_ part of our relationship yet.

Edward froze. "Oh, Bella, I'm sorry. I wasn't…I didn't mean for you to think. I'm sorry. Let me just put this away."

I started laughing hysterically at this point. He looked at me oddly and then realized what he had just said and started laughing as well.

"Here, let's get you cleaned up. We really should be heading back anyway." I pulled the towel out of my bag and handed it to him.

He pouted and took it. "I'm sorry. I kind of ruined the moment, didn't I?"

I smiled and said, "No, you didn't, and I swear if you don't stop apologizing all of the time, I'm gonna give you a reason to be sorry!"

His eyes got huge and he laughed. "Yes, ma'am!"

* * *

_December 25, 2009_

After the incident in the locker room, Edward and I were very careful when we were together. We had actually discussed our relationship at length since then. We talked about our intentions and at that point Edward said he was willing to wait for however long I wanted. When I asked him how _he_ felt about it, he simply grinned and repeated, "I'm willing to wait for however long you want to wait."

I took that to mean that he was ready and was only waiting for me. So, I started looking at things in a different light. _Was_ I ready to be with Edward in that way? I sure felt like I was.

So, that was what I had been thinking about since leaving for Forks. And believe me, I had plenty of time to think about it with my dad gone so much and being alone in the house.

That was how I ended up writing an email to Edward on Christmas Day, which simply said:

_Edward,_

_I wish I could be with you on Christmas. I miss you desperately. I hope you are enjoying your time with your family. I can't wait to see you! Only five more days._

_And Edward?_

_I'm ready._

_Bella_

*-- Charlie Evans, "Charlie X", stardate 1535.8

**A teaser for a review ;)**


	12. I'm Ready, Right?

**********PLEASE READ THIS************

I have added an outtake at the same time I post this. PLEASE READ IT after you read this chapter! PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE! (did I say please?)

Thank you so much to my LC! I love you guys! Alitriona/Eila, Allysue08, Rags88, Revrag, Shereebedee, Spellboundagain, and Whatobsession17

Still leasing, of course.

**I'm ready…right?**

_December 30, 2009_

I sat on the plane, flipping through magazine after magazine, not seeing a single thing that passed before my eyes. Colors. That was about it.

I was nervous about the plans I had made with Edward. I wasn't nervous about losing my innocence, which honestly shocked me. No, I was nervous about my…my…_performance._ Granted, Edward was just as inexperienced as I was, so I wasn't worried that he would have something to compare me to and I wouldn't measure up. But then again – how much porn had he watched? _Great, that's just more insecurities to add._

What I was really worried about was that the whole experience had somehow been idealized for him. Maybe he had read about it or overheard some guys talk about it and he would have high expectations and then it would just burst his bubble, because I seriously didn't think we had a chance of it being pleasant. Well, at least not on my end.

After I sent the email to Edward on Christmas, I received a reply back fairly quickly. I was surprised by his response.

_Bella,_

_Don't play games with me. It's Christmas, you shouldn't tease on Christmas._ _:(_

_Are you enjoying your time in the sleepy town of Forks?_

_I miss you terribly._

_Edward_

When I responded telling him that I wasn't teasing, he immediately called me.

"Hello, Edward," I said, grinning into the phone.

"Bella? What's going on? What do you mean you weren't teasing me?" It was so cute how he sounded worried, like I had fallen and hit my head or something equally crazy. Well, actually, given my history, that's not so crazy I guess.

"Edward, I am not teasing you. I'm ready." I said it with as much conviction as I could. "I couldn't imagine trusting anyone more than I trust you, Edward. I want it to be you. Honest."

I heard Edward's sharp intake of breath but nothing else for at least thirty seconds. Finally, he responded, "Seriously? You…you really mean it? You aren't just afraid that I won't wait for you? 'Cause I swear, Bella, I really will. I will wait until we are thirty if it makes you happy. I don't ever want you to rush yourself. Promise me that it's not for me?"

I giggled. "Edward, ever since I saw…" I gulped. I don't know why it was so hard for me to simply _say_ the dang word, but I couldn't. No matter how hard I tried. I took a deep breath and continued in a whisper, "_it_…I have…um…dreamed about it…er, not _it_, it, but the…I mean. God, this is coming out all wrong. I have had dreams about us together, put it that way." I rushed the last sentence due to pure mortification.

"Oh, Bella. You don't know how relieved I am to hear you say that, because…well…I do too. I wasn't sure if it would be considered aberrant of me to have those dreams…I mean, I know guys do, but I don't want to think disrespectfully of you, Bella. You mean too much to me for that."

Once that awkward conversation was out of the way, we started talking about plans. It seemed like Edward actually _had_ thought a lot about it. He had concocted a plan within a matter of minutes and when I snorted, he became apprehensive and thought that he might have been too forward. It was so freaking adorable.

I assured him that his plans were perfect, so we ended the call so he could begin making arrangements immediately. He explained to me that dinner and hotel reservations on New Years' Eve were hard to come by, and he had a bad feeling he was already too late. However, forty-five minutes later, I received email confirmation – from Edward – that our plans were in place.

Then reality hit. I had six days to find out all I could about the logistics of what our _encounter_ would be like. I mean, don't think I am a total moron, I know what happens, but…well, I wanted to be a bit more prepared for _all_ of the aspects of the situation, especially the ones they don't teach in Sex Ed – the discomfort; the awkwardness; the _mess_ afterwards. I knew _of_ these things, but I didn't know specifics, because I had never had a reason to research it. I hadn't even had a boyfriend, what would I need to know about sex for?

So, being in the twenty-first century, I was lucky enough to be able to search in the privacy of my own bedroom the following day while my dad was at work. That didn't mean I wasn't a blushing pile of flesh as I typed in 'What should a girl expect during intercourse' into my Google bar and hit enter.

It didn't take long for me to find my answers, because there were fifty-six _MILLION_ results. I clicked on the first one, _WikiAnswers – What should a girl expect when she has sex for the first time?_

I pulled out my notebook to take notes – don't laugh, it's what I do, it's how I cope – and at first I thought it was going to be very informative.

- How much pain you have will be determined by how much the hymen has been stretched, or if it has been stretched at all. _Note to self: see what consists of stretching the hymen…do fingers count?_

- You should expect light bleeding, which may last for a few days. _Note: Have feminine items available._

- If you don't enjoy your first time, that's perfectly normal. A lot of first times aren't amazing, or good, or even decent. Sex gets better as you have more of it and gain experience. _Note: Must have lots of sex for it to be pleasurable…_

I was taking down notes like a scientist and I was so proud of myself. I continued with the next answer.

- A girl should expect a bit of pain and therefore shouldn't let her partner rush her into sex. Taking it slowly and using lubrication will provide for a more pleasant first time. _Lubrication? Note: Guess I need to shop for lubrication._

The next answer was from some smarty pants who just wanted to be heard.

- A girl should expect to be happy and satisfied that she has had sex. She should feel no regret or pressure whatsoever. _Had to have been from a guy…_

When I got to the one they appropriately titled 'Long Answer' I realized I was finished with that site. When someone compares a sexual experience to baking a cake, it is time to hightail it out of there.

I searched for another hour or so, taking adequate notes and feeling more than sufficiently educated on what I needed to expect. I was fairly certain that I wouldn't have a problem in the pain department – my clumsiness throughout my life had given me a high pain tolerance – but nonetheless, I still planned to include Tylenol in my bag of necessities that I would be packing, along with condoms and lubricant – two things I knew nothing about shopping for.

I spent the better part of the next four days mentally preparing myself for everything that could happen – especially what could go wrong, because I was the poster child for Murphy's Law.

I felt extremely confident and thoroughly prepared.

Until I was on the plane, heading home with barely more than twenty-four hours until D-day. (Yeah, that's Devirginizing day.) All of my fear and insecurities came rushing back to the surface the closer I came to Massachusetts. _I can't do this. What was I thinking? I'm not confident. I'm not assertive. No. I'm self-conscious and reserved. I had no business trying to take the reins in this situation._

I had darn near talked myself out of the whole thing before the plane landed. I might have actually succeeded in doing so, had Edward not been waiting in the terminal to greet me. As soon as I was wrapped in his arms, with his lips attached to mine, I was one hundred and fifty percent ready once again.

"Mmm, I missed you, Umbella. So freaking much." Edward lifted me and spun in a circle causing me to giggle and squeal. He put me down and grabbed my face with both hands and kissed me again so intensely that I nearly forgot we were in the middle of a crowded airport. I grabbed the front of his jacket and pulled him closer to me, moaning against his lips, and arching my back, pressing my chest to his.

Chuckling, he pulled away and whispered, "Maybe we should, um…get out of the middle of this crowd before we get carried away?"

I gasped and blushed instantly. "I forgot. I was oblivious to our surroundings for a minute." I giggled.

He took me by the hand and led me to the baggage claim. We each grabbed a suitcase and walked toward the exit.

The taxi ride back to the dorms was spent wrapped in Edward's arms as he twisted a lock of my hair around his finger. We talked about our holiday with the family and every so often we would stop long enough to kiss and confess how much we missed one another.

"I don't want to leave you. I just got you back." Edward pouted as he pulled me into a farewell hug outside of my dorm.

I giggled and said, "You act like we were apart for months or something. And besides, we'll be together again in less than twenty hours." I smiled bashfully, thinking about what was going to be happening the next time we saw each other.

Edward kissed me on the nose and grinned. "I know, but I still don't want to leave." He wrapped his arms tightly around my waist and kissed me passionately.

* * *

_December 31, 2009 – D-day._

Edward was picking me up at eight-thirty for our nine o'clock reservation. Being the over-prepared, obsessive compulsive organizer that I am, I was completely ready with my overnight bag fully packed by seven. Angela was doing her laundry – leaving me with no one to distract me – so, I nervously sat, playing a game of Spider Solitaire on my computer – and failing miserably – as I counted down the minutes until Edward would be there.

My cell rang at eight, nearly causing my heart to stop.

"Hello?" I answered breathlessly.

"Bella?" Edward chuckled. "Were you, um…busy?" he questioned.

"No, you just scared me, is all. It's very quiet here, and I was playing solitaire, so the phone ringing startled me. You, uh…aren't backing out are you?" My heart sank at the thought.

"What? No! Absolutely not. I just…I wanted to know if you would mind me picking you up a bit early. I wanted to show you something. But…well…if you aren't ready, or you need more time…it's okay. I just…never mind, it's not a big deal," he said nervously.

"Are you crazy? I have been sitting here ready since seven o'clock, bored out of my mind. I would love for you to come and get me early, and put me out of my misery," I said smiling.

Edward sighed in relief. "Oh good. I will be there in about five minutes, then. Um…yeah, okay. See ya in a bit." Again, with the nervousness.

"I will be out front waiting for you."

"Oh uh…you don't want me to come to your door? I should pick you up like a real gentleman, you know…you don't…you don't want me to?"

He sounded so dejected that I decided I would humor him and allow him to come to my door.

I turned off my phone and slipped it into my bag. I didn't want anymore interruptions for the duration of my evening with Edward.

I waited anxiously for the knock that came four minutes and fifty-six seconds later. I jumped from my bed and ran to open the door. I practically jerked it from its hinges, grinning like a fool, and out of breath. _Lovely way to start the evening…_

Edward smiled crookedly, lifting an eyebrow. "Are you in a hurry?"

"Oh shush, you." I realized how it must have appeared and I started blushing.

He placed his hand on my forearm and smiled sweetly. "You look amazing."

I then took a moment to appraise my date. He was wearing a thin, black and grey tie, over a black button-down shirt, tucked into a pair of black low-rise, acid-washed jeans. To say he looked gorgeous was an understatement.

Very articulately, I said, "Wow."

He shook his head and chuckled. "This is for you. I figured flowers aren't exactly your forte." He handed me a small three inch box.

I looked at him oddly, but smiled and lifted the lid.

Inside the box was a mini replica of the Star Trek Communicator. It was a key chain and looked exactly like the real thing. Smiling, I pulled it out and pushed a button.

_"Live long and prosper,"_ came out of the tiny speakers. I started giggling and pushed the button again.

_"Set your phasers to stun, we're going to beam directly to the capital city, alert status."_

I wrapped my arms around Edward's neck and kissed his cheek. "Thank you! It's perfect! I love it so much!"

He chuckled and squeezed me back. "I hoped you hadn't already had one." He kissed my cheek and said, "Are you ready mah dear?"

"Ready as I'll ever be, kind sir." I pulled away and curtsied.

We had only been driving for a little more than five minutes when he pulled off the side of the road. I looked at him questioningly, because I was hoping he wasn't planning on me doing some sort of hiking in a dress.

He laughed and said, "Don't worry, you can see it from the road."

I opened my door and stepped out just as he came up beside me. He put his hand on the small of my back and walked toward the back of the car. As soon as we stepped past the curb, I knew what he wanted to show me.

"Oh, wow! It's magnificent!" There was a pond just over the hill, completely frozen over, but someone had taken the time to carve intricate details into the ice. The beautiful display was a backdrop of fireworks and confetti with the foreground having champagne glasses and party hats. Forming an arch across the top were the words 'Happy New Year' and then '2010' was etched across the bottom. I had never seen anything quite like it.

"I thought you'd appreciate that. Not many people know about it. A farmer down the road does it every year. They did an article on it last year, but other than that, it's not advertised much. He claimed he did it for the kids that like to ice skate on his pond. It's the only day in winter that his pond isn't skated on." Edward smiled nostalgically, apparently remembering some childhood memory of ice skating. Shaking his head clear, he kissed my temple and whispered, "Are you hungry?"

"Famished." I huffed and smiled.

I hadn't even bothered to ask where we were going to eat, so when we pulled in front of Upstairs on the Square, I started bouncing in my seat like a kindergartener going to the zoo. "Oh my gosh! I have always wanted to eat here!"

Edward laughed and admitted, "So have I."

Like a perfect gentleman, he opened my door for me, and led me by the hand to the entrance.

Once inside, he told the hostess we had reservations and she led us to our seat once she found the name Cullen on her list.

Edward did everything to make me comfortable and put me at ease. We sat across from each other, and he held my hand the entire time, rubbing gentle circles on my palm with his thumb, and smiling in between bites.

Midway through the meal, I realized he had been eating left-handed the whole time and he didn't even seem fazed by it. I had been scrutinizing his movements for several seconds, when suddenly he fumbled with his fork and it clattered against his plate. He shifted his hand to pick his fork back up, and when he did, I noticed a scar sticking out from under his watch. I had never noticed it before and it was quite a sizeable scar.

"What happened there?" I nearly shouted as I pointed to his wrist.

His eyes widened and he carefully laid his fork back down and swallowed loudly. "Um…it's…it's from a…" He took a deep breath and looked embarrassed as he said, "fight with my brother."

"A fight with your brother? Over what?" Of course, thinking about his brother, had me thinking all sorts of horrible things they could have fought about.

He was looking down at his plate and spoke barely above a whisper. "It was…over a…a…girl." It was my turn for bulging eyes and a dropped jaw. Firstly, I couldn't see Edward fighting, period. He just…didn't seem like the type. Secondly, over a girl? I didn't see how that was possible.

He glanced up and noticed the shocked look on my face and immediately said, "No, no…not, not like that. It was…it was over respect." He shrugged a shoulder. "She was being disrespected and…and I went to hit him but…well, slipped and hit glass instead. Luckily it didn't cut up my fist, just that spot on my wrist."

I reached out and touched the scar with two fingers and smiled sadly. "That was so noble of you. Your brother sure has a lot to account for, doesn't he?" I shook my head slowly in disappointment. I wondered at that moment what Edward would do if he knew how his brother had manipulated, and in essence, disrespected me. I looked up to smile at Edward, but he had a pained look on his face. I slipped my fingers between his and said, "It must be hard to have such a strained relationship with him. I'm so sorry."

He blinked rapidly and then smirked. "It has its advantages, though."

I didn't get a chance to ask him what he meant by that because our server came to refill our drinks and ask if we wanted dessert. I declined since my stomach had started to knot once the meal had begun to wind down.

He looked at me apprehensively. "Are you ready to leave then? I have another surprise for you."

"I don't know how many more surprises I can take. I feel inadequate. I have nothing special for you."

Edward looked at me seriously. "Yes you do, Bella. You have the most special thing for me."

I swallowed the lump in my throat and chuckled nervously.

I didn't completely understand why we had pulled into the parking lot of the Boston Marriot, because Edward had said he had another surprise. He took my bag and threaded his fingers through mine as we walked toward the hotel.

Inside, he told the front desk he had a reservation for Cullen and showed his ID. The clerk behind the desk nodded and handed him the keycard, telling us to enjoy our evening.

Once inside the elevator, Edward pushed the button for the twenty-fourth floor.

"Wow…that's uh…kinda high up, huh?"

Edward looked panicked and said, "You aren't afraid of heights, are you? I didn't even think to ask."

I laughed and told him that I was not, but I had just never been that many floors up before.

He bent down and whispered in my ear, "That's part of the surprise. I think you will like it." I shivered when I felt his breath fan across my neck. He wrapped his arms around me and asked if I was cold. I didn't lie. I simply told him what he was doing to me. I felt a rumble against my cheek, which was resting against his chest.

I pulled my head back and looked up at him. "Did you just…growl at me?" I giggled.

"What? No! No, I…I…Okay, I guess I kinda did. But I can't help it."

Once we were at our room, he slid the keycard into the slot and the locked clicked. He held the door open for me and I walked through. It was absolutely breathtaking. The room was beautiful, of course, but that wasn't the most astonishing part. There were red candles lit on every flat surface of the room and white feathers were scattered across the bed and carpet.

Before I even had a chance to ask he shrugged and said, "Petals are so cliché, so I thought feathers would be more romantic."

"I love it. Much better than petals, anyway."

"That's still not the surprise. Come here." He took me by the hand and led me toward the balcony. He pulled the blinds open and pointed straight ahead. "See that hill across the way?" I nodded. "They let off fireworks at midnight and we will have a front-row seat, right here, on these comfy chairs all nice and warm inside this room, drinking champagne."

"Really? This is amazing! Wait…" I looked at him out of the corner of my eye. "Are you trying to get me drunk?" I smirked at him and rolled my eyes.

"Of course not. But…well, um, some champagne might uh… help you to relax." He gently massaged my shoulders, loosening up the tense muscles. "See? You're awfully wound up right through here…It will, it will probably go much more smoothly if you are less tense."

"Mmm," I moaned and dropped my head forward allowing his fingers and thumbs to work across my shoulders. "Have you been doing research, or is this just your hypothesis?" My words were drawn out and breathless from the relaxing feeling his fingers were causing.

He softly kissed my neck and said, "See? You are already calming down. Isn't that better?" He slowly trailed his hands down my arms, causing a prickly sensation throughout my entire body. He kissed the bare part of my shoulder and continued kissing a path across the back of my neck to my other shoulder, the whole time skimming my arms lightly with his fingertips. Once his fingers reached my own, he entwined our hands and crossed my arms in front of my stomach, pulling me back against his chest.

"You are so perfect, Bella," he whispered in my ear. He kissed the dip beneath my ear, and then pressed his tongue against the sensitive flesh and I released a shuddering breath. With our fingers still interlaced, he pulled our hands up higher to my chest. "We, um…should probably have a seat if you don't want to miss the fireworks. They start in a few minutes. Unless you…just want to…um, skip them."

"Well, how about we _attempt_ to watch the fireworks and if…well, we get…um…_distracted_, then so be it." I smiled and lowered my head.

"Sounds good to me. You go ahead and sit down; I will get the bottle of champagne." He stepped away from me and immediately I missed the feeling of him against my skin.

I sat in one of the plush chairs and placed my feet on the ottoman and my head against the back and just relaxed. Edward came back with the glasses clinking against the bottle, which had apparently already been opened. He poured us each a glass and held his up to toast. I lifted mine and quirked an eyebrow.

"To being ready." He smiled sweetly. We both sipped…well, he kind of gulped. Maybe he was more nervous than he was letting on.

He set his drink on the small table beside him and reached across grabbing me by the waist and pulling me into his lap, with my back resting against his chest. I placed my glass beside his on the table and slipped my shoes off. My head rested against his shoulder and he began rubbing my arms and kissing my cheek. So softly, he spoke against my skin, "I want to make this as easy as possible for you, Bella. I know it's going to be uncomfortable no matter what, but I want it to be the best it could possibly be for you. Promise me you will tell me if it's too much, okay?"

"I promise." I nodded.

The grandfather clock that was standing near the entryway began to chime. Edward sighed and said, "Happy New Year, Bella," and then turned my face to place a searing kiss on my lips. I could see the sky begin to light up, but I was enraptured with the way Edward's lips felt against my own. He slipped his tongue between my lips and both of us groaned at the contact.

He lowered his hands to my waist, down my hips and landed on my thighs. He squeezed gently and my skirt rose slightly so that his fingertips came in contact with my bare skin. He pulled his lips back from mine, momentarily breathless, and leaned his forehead against my temple. "You're so soft. So soft. Perfect."

I turned my head toward the fireworks and realized I had no more interest in watching them. I gathered as much courage as I possibly could and whispered, "Let's…let's go to…to the bed."

Edward's hands stilled and he swallowed loudly. "Are you…are you sure?"

I nodded quickly, to avoid losing the nerve. He lifted me from his lap and stood immediately behind me. He wrapped his arms around my waist again and rested his chin on my shoulder. "Okay. Okay." He sounded like he was trying to gather his own courage at this point, taking deep breaths and bunching the fabric beneath his fingers.

I walked slowly toward the bed, and then remembered all of my preparations. I ran quickly to where my overnight back was placed by the front door. I picked it up and made my way back to the bed where Edward was standing, looking a bit shocked. I blushed and held up my bag, shrugging my shoulders.

He still just stared at me like I had grown a second head. I hurriedly explained, "I did some research and I made sure to be…pre…pared." I closed my eyes, realizing how foolish it sounded once the words had left my mouth, and instantly I felt like an idiot. Edward hadn't said anything and I was worried that he decided he didn't want to do this with a moron, so I peeked at his face and he was smiling.

He reached out with his hand and grabbed my bag. "Always prepared. I should have known. Let's see what you brought." My eyes were as big as saucers. I hadn't planned on him seeing everything in that bag. I tried to grab it back, but he lifted it above my head and laughed. "Hey now…this is just as much for me as it is for you, right?"

I huffed and crossed my arms over my chest, pouting. "Fine. I'm already mortified. Just finish me off."

His smile faded and he said, "Aww, don't be like that, Bella. You shouldn't be embarrassed. There is nothing…well, sexier than a prepared woman." I could tell he was holding back laughter as he said this, but I just ignored him.

He started going through the bag. "Tylenol. Good idea. Toothbrush. Also a good idea. Toothpaste. What good is a toothbrush without toothpaste? Condoms. _Very_ good idea, although of course, I came prepared in that aspect, since it is kind of my job – being the man and all." He grinned and continued, "Um…why do you have these? You aren't on…the…the –"

I rolled my eyes at him. "If I was, do you think we would be here right now? It's for in case…afterwards, you know? They said sometimes…you…well…"

His eyes lit up in recognition. "Oh! Oh, yeah. Okay, sorry. Sorry." When he pulled out the next item, I wasn't prepared for his reaction. Once he reacted I wanted a hole to open up in the floor and suck me in. His eyes were bugging and he swallowed at least three times before he asked, "Why…why do you…what do we need…lube for?"

I covered my face with my hands and mumbled behind them, "I read that it's…easier with it."

"Ahhh. Good to know. I didn't think to look for that."

I dropped my hands and Edward had placed the bag back on the floor and the _lube_ on the bed along with the condoms. He walked around behind me and placed his hands on my waist. "I'm sorry if that really embarrassed you. I didn't mean for it to. Forgive me?" He started kissing my neck again and I shrugged and mumbled a 'maybe' as he started trailing his hands up my sides. His fingers grazed the sides of my breasts and I moaned, leaning back into him. "That's it, just relax," he said just before he pulled my earlobe into his mouth and began twirling his tongue around the soft flesh.

His hands moved to my shoulders and he slipped them down my back to my zipper, ever so slowly unzipping my dress. He slid the fingers of his other hand down my back, trailing after the zipper pull, tickling the skin beneath.

Inch by inch, he slid my dress down off of my shoulders until it pooled around my ankles. Another preparation of mine was to buy a sexy bra and panty set – something else I had to research because I didn't know sexy from homely.

Once my lingerie was in full view, I heard him intake a sharp breath. So quiet that I wasn't even sure it was meant for me, I heard him whisper, "Exquisite."

I felt his hands oh my hips again and he moved them back to squeeze my cheeks through the lacy bottoms. He groaned and kissed between my shoulder blades. I felt him kissing a trail down my spine as his hands slid slowly around my hips to the front of my waist.

He had shifted so that he was now on his knees, kissing the small of my back and his fingers were dipping into the front of my panties. I heard him murmur 'perfect' once again, as his fingers slipped further and further down, pulling my panties with them. Once they had passed the swell of my hips, they fell around my ankles leaving my lower half completely bare. Instinctively, I started to cover myself, but he caught my hands before I managed to. He pulled them back and placed them on his shoulders and continued his exploration with his lips and fingers, both going further south at the same pace.

Just as his lips touched the fullness of my right cheek, two fingers of his left hand entered me and I gasped. He slowly began moving his fingers as his lips repeatedly kissed and sucked across to the other cheek. The sensation was indescribable. Being kissed on a part of my body that had never even been touched, while his fingers worked the most sensitive of areas, was like sensory overload. My legs started to go weak and my knees were shaking. I held his shoulders tighter and he pumped his fingers faster. I was close, so very close and just as I thought I couldn't take anymore, he slid his thumb to my clitoris and nipped my butt with his teeth.

"Ooooooh myyyyyyy Godddddd!" I said extremely loudly as I dug my fingers into his shoulders.

He kissed once more as he pulled his fingers out and then rose to his feet and kissed my neck. His hands were once again on my shoulders and he slipped my bra straps off and kissed each shoulder where the straps had been.

He began unbuckling my bra and I turned around before he could do so. I was going to tell him that I wanted him to remove some clothes before I was completely naked in front of him, but I was shocked into silence when his eyes shot down to the part of me that I had completely forgotten was entirely exposed to him for the first time ever.

We both just stood there, unmoving. I was too stunned to move and he…well, I couldn't tell why he wasn't moving. I was pretty sure it couldn't have been the first he had ever seen, but maybe since it was the first time he had seen one in person, per se, it meant something more. I cleared my throat and lowered my head.

I felt his fingers under my chin, lifting my face to look at him. "Hey. I'm sorry. I just…well, it's…spectacular." He grinned crookedly and I came so close to laughing. _Spectacular? I surely wouldn't call it that…_

Then again, I remember being taken by surprise when I saw his for the first time. _Well…whodathunkit?_

"I was…I only stopped you because…well, I don't want to be completely naked next to you fully dressed. Can…we remove some of your clothes?" I know I was darn near thirteen shades of red. I was really hoping that the next time would be a whole heck of a lot easier because if we had to go through this every time, we would probably never go past second base again.

"Oh…uh, yeah. I wasn't thinking. I'm sorry." He started loosening his tie and I grabbed his wrist.

"May I?"

He dropped his hands, so I began to undress him. I never knew how much eroticism was involved in removing someone's clothes. I took my time, enjoying the feel and look of each new part of him I uncovered. Once he was fully naked in front of me, I finished removing my bra and we stood before each other, completely exposed.

He was the first to make a move. He slowly lifted his hands, taking a breast into each one and then very lightly pinching the nipples between his thumb and forefinger. I sighed and he began walking me the rest of the way to the bed behind me. Once the back of my knees hit the mattress, I lowered myself onto it. I scooted up the bed so that I was in the very center. Edward climbed up onto the bed, crawling up to where I was, and then sat back on his knees.

He looked me in the eyes and placed his hands on either side of my face. "Are you really sure you are ready for this?" I didn't even have to think twice, I simply nodded my head. He kissed me softly and began lowering me to onto my back as he continued to kiss me. He rested the weight of his upper body on his elbows and began kissing along my jaw, down my neck and to my collarbone. He kissed even lower until he was close to the peak of my right breast. He paused briefly, gauging my reaction, and when I arched my back so that his lips grazed my nipple he smiled and took it between his lips, and began to circle his tongue around it.

I grabbed two handfuls of his hair and arched my back further, moaning loudly. He began to twist my other nipple between the fingers of one hand as his other hand reached across from me and grabbed the box of condoms.

_This is it. Once this happens, there's no taking it back. This would change our relationship forever._

I closed my eyes and dismissed the twisted idea that I was heading toward my impending doom, because that was just nonsense.

He continued to lavish attention to both of my breasts as he fumbled with the box of condoms. Nervously, I took the box from him and withdrew one of the foil wrappers. I tore it opened and placed it into his empty hand.

I grabbed his shoulders with both hands, just to have a place to put them without feeling incredibly awkward. He stopped his movements and rose back up to his elbows. He started threading his fingers through my hair in a comforting gesture. "I'm going to try to be as gentle as possible. I'll try to go as slow as I can." I started to shake my head and he looked worried.

"Like a Band-Aid. It's better if you do it fast, like a Band-Aid."

His eyes widened for a moment and he asked, "Are you sure?" I nodded and he said, "Okay, then."

He kissed my forehead and then my lips before he moved back onto his knees. He grabbed the lubricant and opened it, looking extremely unsure of himself, and then squirted some onto his fingers. He lowered them to my entrance and I jerked when he reached it because the gel was cold. He looked at me apologetically and then rubbed me for a second to warm it up. It felt incredible and I closed my eyes.

He shifted so that his erection was now at my entrance instead of his fingers. I braced myself, twisting my hands into the comforter underneath me. He leaned forward, grabbing one of my hands and threading his fingers through mine. He mumbled, "Like a Band-Aid," and as quickly as possible he shoved himself inside.

This was one time that my research OCD had been a huge benefit. I wasn't sure if it was the lubricant, the 'Band-Aid' approach, or the fact that I had a high pain tolerance, but the pain was nothing like I had expected. Sure, it hurt, but it wasn't any worse than banging your head on a corner cabinet. Okay, wait, I take that back. The head on the corner cabinet was ten times worse. I could swear I saw little cartoon stars one time when I did that. Regardless, the pain was manageable, and I was incredibly relieved.

Edward hadn't moved once he entered me and I opened my eyes to see him staring at me as if he was afraid my head was going to explode or something. "Are…are you…are you okay?" he asked in disbelief.

I chuckled. "Piece of cake." I shrugged one shoulder and said, "It wasn't near as bad as I expected."

He released a quick breath of air and grinned. "What a relief. I was so worried."

I bit my lip and looked back and forth a few times, and then said, "Aren't you supposed to like…move?" I giggled.

"Uh…oh…yeah." He chuckled nervously and then brushed his lips against mine. When I began to reciprocate the kiss, he started to move in and out of me. It wasn't the most comfortable feeling in the world, but at least it wasn't terribly painful. It was more like a dull ache. Definitely manageable.

As I was absorbed in my own little assessment of the situation, I had failed to notice that Edward was really enjoying himself. He broke the kiss, only to move his lips to my neck. He was rocking back and forth slowly, but picking up a bit more speed.

"I never…oh God…I never knew. It's so much more…so much better." He kissed my neck and started thrusting faster, and his breaths were getting shallower. I could tell he was close, so I squeezed the hand I was still holding and placed my other hand on the side of his face.

He pulled back and looked me in the eye and moaned, "Bella, I…I love…oh God…it feels so good." He squeezed his eyes shut and groaned out, "Bellaaaaa." He stilled as his legs twitched, just before he collapsed onto me.

I closed my eyes and smiled. We did it. We had both given ourselves to each other completely. I began to run my fingers through his hair and I hummed in contentment.

Once he fully caught his breath, Edward pulled out of me and made a face. I looked at him in worry, but he grinned and said, "I need to get this cleaned up." He pointed down to the condom that was now filled and I chuckled. How in the world a man was able to be grossed out by his own semen, I would never know. But that's Edward for you.

He came back a minute or two later with a warm washcloth and asked me if I would like for him to clean me up or if I preferred to do it myself.

"Um…" I laughed. "Yeah, I think I can take it from here. Thanks." I may have given him my V-card, but I wasn't about to have him clean up my lady bits for me. I took the washcloth and ran to the bathroom to clean myself up. I was shocked to see the washcloth just barely tinged pink in one small spot. I had hoped that this meant I wasn't going to be a bleeder, but you never know.

As I came back out of the bathroom, Edward was lying on his back with his arms crossed behind his head, eyes closed, huge smile on his face, still completely nude.

I laughed and jumped onto the bed on my knees. "Are you planning on staying naked?"

He shrugged and said, "Well, now we have seen each other completely, there's nothing to hide anymore, right?"

"I guess not." I giggled. "But, I'm not a huge fan of sleeping naked, so I'm just gonna put on my nightgown."

I put on my nightgown and Edward, feeling out of place in the nude, put his boxer briefs back on, and we curled up under the comforter, spooning, with my back against his chest. I was starting to realize how much I enjoyed his chest against my back.

Edward wrapped his arm around my waist and slipped his fingers between mine. He kissed me just beneath my ear and said, "Thank you."

"For?" I asked.

"Trusting me."

"Of course I trust you, Edward." He stiffened slightly, but then relaxed.

Within minutes, his breathing slowed and I knew he was asleep. I squeezed his hand and started to drift off to sleep. I heard him mumble something that sounded an awful lot like, 'I love you' but I was sure I was just so sleepy that I had heard him wrong.

* * *

_January 1, 2010_

The sun was shining right into my eyes. I started to roll over and felt a sharp pain in my groin. Then I remembered where I was and what day it was. I smiled and turned my head to the pillow beside me, but it was empty. I sat up quickly, wondering where Edward had gone off to. I listened for the shower, but I didn't hear it. I looked around and his shoes were not by the bed where he had removed them. I figured he must have gone to get breakfast or coffee, so I climbed out of bed and grabbed my bag to take my shower.

I took a very fast shower so that he didn't have to wait long for me once he returned. I dried off and dressed quickly, opening the bathroom door with a smile.

My smile disappeared instantly when I realized he hadn't come back yet. I grabbed my phone out of my bag to call him and see where in the world he had been.

I turned on my phone and the screen immediately alerted me that I had twelve missed messages. My heart dropped, thinking something had happened to him.

I opened the first one and was extremely confused by it. Then I read the timestamp and gasped loudly, dropping my phone and running to the bathroom. I leaned over the toilet and started heaving as I sobbed uncontrollably.

_I'm worried about you, Umbella. I've been knocking on your door for twenty minutes. Where are you? Plz call me!_

[Time]

12/31/2009

08:50 PM

**Before I sneak off into hiding, PLZ PLZ PLZ PLZ PLZ go read my outtake! It's this whole night from another perspective – VERY important! (PLZ?)**

**No matter how hateful the reviews are, I will still give a teaser for them ;)**


	13. The Aftermath

***The warning is still in effect from 3 chapters ago. The content may not be suitable for everyone***

Thanks, as always, to my LC – Alitriona/Eila, Allysue08, Rags88, Revrag, Shereebedee, Spellboundagain, and WhatObsession17. Each and every one of you makes this story better and better. I love you so much!

Still leasing. :(

**The Aftermath**

_January 1, 2010 continued_

It couldn't be. It wasn't even possible.

As I bowed before the infamous porcelain god, ridding myself of everything I had eaten the night before – and possibly for the last week it seemed – I replayed the events that had taken place the previous evening. Nothing made sense. It was Edward. I knew it was Edward. He was dressed like Edward. He had the soft voice of Edward, not the husky, sensual voice of Mace. He was sweet and kind and shy and – he was a gentleman all night. He held my hand during…

_The hand…_

He was more than competent eating with his left hand. In fact, it wasn't until I was blatantly staring at the efficiency of his actions that he fumbled, just as a _right-handed_ person would have done. A _right-handed_ person who would have fumbled several times throughout the meal. _Unless he is ambidextrous._

And the scar. I was sure I would have noticed the scar before. Wouldn't I have? Or was I truly that dense and so twitterpated around him that I was oblivious to such details? And then, I had just brushed off the strange way he had acted when he relayed the story of how he'd received the scar. I just thought he was ashamed of the fact that he had fought his brother and then he was humbled for standing up for a girl – or possibly worried that I would be jealous of that.

Then, if I was being perfectly honest, the happenings that took place in the hotel room were so out of character for Edward. However, I was so nervous and in the moment that I wasn't nitpicking the lasciviousness of his behavior.

_Hindsight is always twenty-twenty._

I had wretched until I had expelled every morsel of food I had consumed recently, but I knew no amount of heaving would expel the guilt and shame that was poisoning me – mind, body, and soul.

I took a quick shower and gathered my things to make my way back to my dorm room. I wasn't sure how I planned on getting back, and to be honest, I really just wanted to fall off the face of the earth. But, I decided that I should read the rest of my messages before going into hiding, so opened my phone to read them.

My heart broke a little more with each one I read. Only two of them were from Angela, the rest were from Edward. He went from worried about me to thinking I stood him up and back to worrying about me again. I figured that it was because of the texts from Angela in between his, saying she had spoken to Edward and she was worried because she knew I was leaving with him.

The final message from Edward was at five in the morning.

_I have run out of places to look for you. I'm so worried, Umbella. I just know something has happened, and my heart is hurting. I need to find you. Plz be okay._

I buried my face in my hands and cried for what felt like hours. It was a very long time for sure because once I composed myself, my throat was raw and my eyes burned like fire.

I had no clue where to go from there. This wasn't something that could be kept from Edward, and yet, how do you tell someone something like that? _"Hey, I was gonna give you my virginity, but your brother swooped in and stole it out from under you. Sorry."_

And then the thought…_stole_…made me feel sick again. Technically you could rightly call what he did rape, couldn't you? I mean, if Mace would have asked me to sleep with him, I would have had no qualms with telling him to go to Hell. However, being that I was under the impression he was Edward, with whom I was very much in love, I went along with every second of it, even (gulp) _enjoying_ it. I could never undo what had been done, and I would rather be hurt a thousand times worse just to not have to hurt Edward like I was bound to do.

I called a cab and went to the lobby to wait. I rehearsed the conversation with Edward repeatedly and every single time it ended the same way. Edward broken-hearted. There was no easy way to remedy the situation. In reality, I wasn't sure there was _ANY_ way to remedy the situation. And what was worse was that I had to tell him face-to-face and that would be the most difficult thing I had ever done in my entire life.

The cab pulled up in front of my dorm and I hesitated before I stepped out. I paid the driver and turned, only to stand frozen in my spot. I wondered if this was how it felt to be led to slaughter. Except, well…I wasn't exactly unaware of my impending catastrophe.

I slowly made my way to the front door of my building, and even more slowly climbed the stairs to my room. I walked through the door to my floor and noticed something outside my door. The hallway door slammed behind me and the 'something' in front of my door shot up into a sitting position.

_Edward…_

He blinked several times, and rubbed his eyes with his fists. He had been sleeping. In a heap. In front of my door. Waiting for me. Me, who had been with his brother all night. _This just gets better and better._

He jumped to his feet and ran to me, wrapping his arms around me and mumbling things like, "I was so worried," and "so glad you're okay," and "didn't know where else to look." Each one was like a knife stabbing my heart and each syllable was the knife twisting – twisting until the pain was so intense that I thought I was going to pass out from it.

After a few minutes of him hugging and lifting and spinning and then finally putting me back on my feet, I had started crying without realizing it. He was just so happy to see me. He had been so worried and here I was, getting ready to rip his heart out and smash it beneath my feet.

Edward leaned back to look me in the eye and noticed my tears. He started wiping them from my cheeks and looked at me worriedly. "Bella? What's wrong? Why are you crying? Were you hurt? Where –" before he finished asking that question, his eyes had lowered to my dress, now wrinkled and twisted. He looked even more confused, cocking his head from side to side and scrunching his eyebrows together. "Bella…where did you just come from?"

_Here it goes._

"Edward, we should maybe go someplace alone and sit down."

"Bella…" He sounded more parent-like when he said my name this time. "Where did you just come from?"

"Edward, can we please –"

Edward shook his head quickly and his hold on my hips tightened. "I need to know where you just came from, Bella. I need to know right now. Please." His voice was calm, but his eyes betrayed his worry.

The tears were now coming so quickly that I couldn't even focus on his face. He was just a blob behind a curtain of water. I was sobbing by this point, and I just blurted out, "I'm so sorry, Edward. I didn't know. I swear."

He let go of my hips and took two steps back, shaking his head faster and faster. His breaths came more rapidly and he spoke barely above a whisper, "Bella…for God's sake, will you please tell me where you were?"

I slid down to my knees and covered my face with my hands and wailed, "At the hotel."

"Oh God…Bella." Edward's voice became desperate. "Bella, look at me."

I couldn't. I couldn't look into his eyes when he figured it all out. It was bad enough that it happened and bad enough that I had to tell him, but I couldn't watch his face when he realized what I had done to him.

"Bella. Tell me. Tell me you didn't…you weren't…oh, fuck!" He growled the last part and my head shot up, to look him in the eye. I had never heard Edward even say that word, let alone speak with the intensity he had just spoken. He squatted down in front of me, but still not close enough to touch me. His eyes were on fire, and not the fire I was used to seeing. He was seething. Slowly and methodically, he spoke the next words, with such vehemence that I flinched as they were uttered. "Tell me. You didn't. FUCK. My brother."

"Edward, I didn't…I thought he…you know it wasn't like that." He didn't even let me finish, he just stood and began walking away. "Edward! Wait!" I jumped to my feet and started rushing after him. "Please! You know it wasn't like that. Edward!"

He continued to walk toward the door I had just come through mere minutes earlier. I called for him once more as his hand reached for the handle. He turned to me, with a look for pure hatred, stopping me dead in my tracks. "How can you say it wasn't? Huh? Can you tell me what it _WAS_ like, Bella? Would you like to explain how you can spend the whole fucking night with someone who _ISN'T YOUR BOYFRIEND_ and it not 'be like that'? Tell me, Bella, because I'd sure like to know how you can give yourself to someone completely and it not _BE. LIKE. THAT.?_" Edward was now shouting and I heard a door open behind me – most likely Angela, but I wasn't about to look to find out.

I mumbled, "I…I thought…I thought he was…you." The tears had never stopped during the whole conversation, but with those words, they began to flow even more intensely, if that was even possible.

Edward laughed. It wasn't a humorous laugh or anything; it was more like a maniacal laugh – one of those that send shivers up and down your spine. "That's really rich, Bella. You thought it was me. I guess that lets me know how much you care about me. Can't even tell if it's me talking to you, kissing you, touching you… making love to you. Yeah, that makes me feel real good there, Bella. Thanks for that." He huffed and shook his head. As he opened the door to leave, barely glancing over his shoulder, he repeated the words I had once texted to him, "Goodbye, Bella. Have a nice life."

I couldn't move. I wasn't even able to chase after him. The things he had said hurt so bad, but I didn't even have it in me to be angry at him. No, I hadn't done it intentionally, and no, I hadn't as he said, 'fucked' his brother, but regardless of those truths, I _had_ given my virginity to someone who wasn't Edward, and I should have known. I should have known. Especially after the Halloween party.

_Oh. My. God._

Edward was this pissed and didn't even known about the Halloween party. How much worse was it going to be when that came out? I had no idea what I was going to do. I had to work things out with Edward. I had to. I couldn't even fathom what my life would be like without him now.

_But then again…_

It hadn't been so long ago that I had called off our relationship because he was kissing another girl. _Kissing._ Something entirely different from what I did. Intentionally or not. How could I blame him? Of course, I didn't blame him, but that didn't mean I didn't want to fix things. I just didn't know how.

I walked into my room, noticing Angela staring at me with a sympathetic frown. She slowly stood and walked over to me, wrapping her arms around me. "I'm so sorry, hun. I'm so sorry. I'd give anything to be able to fix this for you."

I stayed with Angela for the rest of the day, not speaking much, but crying more than I had in years.

Since my mom died.

And that brought on a fresh new wave of tears. If my mom had still been here, she would have been able to help comfort me. My dad would just want to…probably shoot both of them. I mentally rolled my eyes at that thought.

I fell asleep at an ungodly early hour, just trying to get some relief from the pain I was in.

* * *

_January 2, 2010_

I awoke with the worst headache I had ever had in my entire life. My eyes felt like someone had poured bucketfuls of sand in them and my throat felt like I had swallowed molten lava. I grabbed a water bottle out of my fridge and gulped it down. It didn't help. I searched through my things for some ibuprofen or acetaminophen and couldn't find either one. Angela was nowhere to be found, and I wasn't comfortable looking through her things no matter how many times she told me it was okay.

I quickly got dressed and decided to run to the convenience store and pick up something for the pain. As soon as I stepped out of my building I regretted this decision.

Mace was standing less than ten feet from the door. I turned on my heels to head back in. He shot forward and grabbed me by my arm. "Wait! I need to talk to you."

I turned around and slapped him with the force of a thousand men. Okay, maybe not really, but I put all of my weight into that slap and hoped to hell it was hard enough to hurt.

He didn't even flinch. "I deserve that. But, can I explain? Please?" He still had a hold of my elbow and started pulling me away from the door. I tried to pull back, but I didn't have ample footing, so I sorta fell into him instead of pulling away. "Just hear me out and I swear you can go back inside."

I didn't plan to listen to him, but he didn't appear to be letting me go, so I followed him with the intention of kneeing him in the balls once he turned toward me again. He walked us toward a huge oak tree, about fifty yards from the building. He turned me so that my back was against the tree and put both of his hands on the tree on either side of me.

"I know you are probably really upset with me and –"

"PROBABLY? Are you serious? You honestly think there's a possibility that I wouldn't be?"

"Look, I didn't…I mean. I really didn't intend for it to go that far. I just…you captivate me, Isabella. I can't explain it. I look at you and I –"

"And you what? You see something that belongs to your brother and you can't stand it, so you have to swoop in and steal it from him? You can't be happy for him? I thought all of your stalking was just to taunt me. I never thought you would take it that far." I started crying again. I tried so hard not to, I needed to be strong for this, not some sissified blubbering fool. "I saved myself. All of these years. I was ready to give myself to _Edward_, not _YOU!_ And you took that. I can never have it back. You took it from both of us. Do you get that? You _STOLE_ something from both of us! And then, if that wasn't enough, you….you…you left me there. By myself! You took my virginity and then left me in the room alone to…to _deal_ with it on my own! It wasn't enough that you stole something that didn't belong to you, but you had to leave me there broken and alone…and thinking it was your _brother_ who did it. You're nothing but a manipulative asshole, Masen. You will never be half the man Edward is. Never."

Halfway through my speech, I saw what appeared to be remorse or sorrow or who knows…probably just a freaking act. Nonetheless, his demeanor changed.

Once I had finished, he hung his head and spoke softly, "I couldn't take it. I couldn't see you wake up smiling and thinking you had been with _him_ and be…happy. I wanted you to be happy to be with me. I couldn't take seeing you when you realized I wasn't him."

_This dude is psychotic…_

"You're freaking psychotic, aren't you? Of _COURSE_ I thought I had been with _EDWARD_." I made sure to emphasize his name as I said it. "I _never_ would have agreed to be with you, Mace. And you know this – this is why you tricked me. You pretended to be your _brother_, the Cullen who people actually _like_, because you knew I wouldn't have been with you. So, yes, I was pissed when I found out I had been with you, and you should have stuck around to see it. You should have had to see me when I was puking my brains out because the thought of being with you made me physically ill. You should have had to see me cry my eyes out because I knew that I gave something to _you_ instead of your brother by _ACCIDENT!_ Yes, Mace, you should have stuck around to see what reactions your little ploy caused."

Gone were the sad or apologetic eyes that Mace had had minutes before. They were replaced by a deranged and sickening look as he hissed the next words, "Accident, Isabella? Don't be so sure of that. I've seen how you've looked at me. Even right in front of my brother. You've wanted me just as much as I've wanted you. You _knew_ something wasn't right last night. But you let it slide because in the deep recesses of your mind you wanted me…you wanted it to be me who popped your cherry. You just didn't want to admit it to anyone, not even yourself. So when you realized I wasn't Edward, you didn't stop it because you wanted it. Admit it, Isabella."

"I did _NOT_ want it to be you. You are delusional, Masen. You need help. I want you to leave me alone. I don't want to see you around here again. I don't want anything to do with you."

Mace pressed his body against mine, pinning me against the tree. I tried to weasel my way out, knowing my resolve was in danger of faltering in this position. I was angry with Mace and nothing about him was appealing to me, but somehow he knew how to press my sexual buttons and I couldn't control myself around him. However, the harder I tried to maneuver away from him, the tighter he pressed me against the tree. He trailed his hands slowly down my shoulders, to my waist, landing on my hips. He squeezed them, pulling me closer and grinding his erection against me as he lowered his mouth to my ear. "Isabella, I have never felt like I do when I am around you. I can't explain it. You do something to me. I know you feel it, too. I can tell by the way your body responds to me." He slowly lifted one hand to my breast and barely ran his finger across my nipple, which traitorously hardened and said, "See? You can tell yourself you don't want me, but your body can't deny it."

His other hand started to slip under my waistband, but I stopped him. I wasn't about to let this go any further. "Mace, get your fucking hands off of me. I'm not going to say it again. Let me go."

Both of his hands were back on my hips and his lips were still at my ear. "Just one more thing, Isabella, and then I will let you go for now."

I shouldn't have let him say another word. I should have kneed him in the crotch like I'd planned. But of course I didn't, because I was stupid enough to give him the benefit of the doubt, and reality decided to screw me over, because I lived in the real world and the real world hated me, remember?

Instead, I was left with Mace's voice, sounding an awful lot like Jared Leto, repeatedly playing in my head – simultaneously causing the most unwelcomed responses in my body.

_Je veux ton amour  
Et je veux ta revenge  
Je veux ton amour*_

_I don't wanna be friends_

**Please to be watching this video (grin). My co-author (she says that's not what she is, but whatevs) said she can totally see this as Mace, and I concur. www(dot)youtube(dot)com/watch?v=x7spoPjx7hs**

***In case you aren't familiar with Lady Gaga's version – which isn't as sexy as 30 Seconds to Mars' version – the translation is:**

**I want your love and I want your revenge, I want your love.**

**Reviews will make Edward's heartache just a little bit easier to handle. C'mon, show him some luvs, please! He's had a rough week :( *giggle***


	14. A Song is Worth a Thousand Words

One of my betas was incredibly anxious to get to chapter 16, so she rushed us all along to get two chaps out this week, so you can thank her for the extra chapter, lol.

Emmett bear hugs to my LC- Alitriona/Eila, Allysue08, Rags88, Revrag, Shereebedee, Spellboundagain, and WhatObsession17.

***All songs are on my profile for your viewing/listening pleasure ;) Also, there's a picture of a bike that you may want to take a look at *wink****

*checks Twilight book* SM still owns.

**A Song is Worth a Thousand Words**

_January 5, 2010_

I hadn't heard from Edward since he walked away on Friday. I tried to call – it went to voicemail, of course. I emailed – no response. I texted – no response. I didn't want to push, but at the same time I needed him to know I was sorry and that I didn't want things to end that way.

I also had not seen nor heard from Mace since Saturday, for which I was extremely grateful. However, that wasn't to say I wasn't having dreams – unfortunately of _both_ of the Cullen men who had invaded my thoughts.

So, on the first day of classes for the new year, I was sitting in Physiology, nervously awaiting Edward's arrival. I knew that this would be my only opportunity to once again try to plead my case. However, my chance was halted when a beautiful Native American girl sat down in Edward's seat.

"I'm sorry, this seat is taken, it's my –"

"Oh, it's okay, Edward stopped me in the hall and told me he needed to switch seats because he needs to be closer to the professor. He said he was having a hard time hearing, and he couldn't focus. He told me you could use another female friend and he thinks we will get along great! My name is Emily, by the way. And you're, Bella, right?"

I felt as if the wind had been knocked out of me. _He switched seats._ He wanted nothing more to do with me. It was over. My first relationship was officially over and there was nothing I could do about it. Edward, who never ever lied, had just lied in order to avoid sitting by me. I just wanted to bawl my eyes out right then and there in class, but luckily, I had an expectant gaze directed at me and I couldn't break down.

"Yes, I'm Bella. Nice to meet you, Emily." I couldn't articulate much more than that with the lump that was quickly forming in my throat.

Emily started chatting away. I heard bits and pieces of what she said, but I mainly kept my focus on the classroom door – I was waiting for Edward to come through. I heard her say something about La Push, and it caught my attention, so I listened a bit more intently.

"…at the beach with my mom's cousin Billy Black. That's where I met my Sam. We're getting married after I graduate. He wants to move back to La Push, but I don't think I can handle living so far away from civilization." She finally stopped for a breath, so I took the opportunity to speak back.

"Your mom's cousin is Billy Black? So you are related to Jake? He was my best friend when I was growing up. It's a small world after all."

"Oh my God!" she squealed. "That's so cool! Where did you live? I know you didn't live in La Push, you're too pale." She giggled and softly touched my forearm letting me know she meant no offense.

"Nah, I lived close by in Forks. I actually did visit La Push every weekend, though. I just…don't tan for some reason." I shrugged. Normally, I would laugh and make a joke about it, but of course my mind was a thousand miles away.

Until the door opened.

Edward walked in, and I could tell he was forcing himself to look anywhere but at me. He _knew_ I would be looking at him for an explanation. He darted to Emily's seat and sat down without looking back. He pulled out his books and busied himself with his notebooks. I pulled out my phone – Emily was still chatting away, but I didn't care if it was considered rude or not. I sent him a text.

_What? I'm so revolting now that you can't even sit by me? Real mature there, *genius*_

I kept my eye on him to see how he responded to the text, but he had no reaction. It was almost as if…

He'd turned his phone off! He _knew_ I would text him, so he turned his phone off. _Well, that's just fine. Try to avoid me after class…_

The professor came through the door and Emily finally quit talking. She didn't seem to notice that I had basically completely ignored her, and I was thankful for that. I didn't want to ruin our friendship before it even started. It wasn't her fault that our meeting was being forced as some sort of rebound, or what have you.

For the next fifty minutes, I didn't hear the professor. I didn't see what had been written on the white board. I didn't see anything on the page of the open book in front of me. No, all I saw was red. I was furious. Who did he think he was? He had no right to treat me that way. It's not like it was _my_ fault that his brother had tricked me – the brother _he'd_ hidden from me in the beginning. How could he punish me for this? If anything, he was just as much at fault for this as I was. Okay, well, not really, but…well, it wasn't _all_ my fault.

It was almost time for class to be dismissed, so I gathered my things in order to make it to him before he had time to run off. I slipped the strap of my bag over my shoulder, and situated myself so that I was almost halfway out of my seat.

Class dismissed and I shot out of my chair like a rocket, but as I quickly made my way toward Edward, the sight I saw caused my heart to plummet. He had stood up beside his seat and began talking to the _girl_ in the next seat over. She was smiling at him and when he leaned his head closer toward her, she started laughing hysterically, and placed her hand on his forearm.

I wasn't watching where I was going, and I bumped into Emmett. He grabbed my shoulder and chuckled. "Woah there, Babybel."

I snapped. I know it wasn't Emmett's fault I was angry, and I honestly didn't mean to take it out on him, but I did.

"Why don't you watch where you're going? Get the hell out of my way!" I yelled. I actually yelled at Emmett – my good friend who had never done a thing but be nice to me.

I stormed off, noticing Edward had turned to look at me. I simply glared at him and walked out the door – slamming it as I went.

I sprinted through the halls, trying to get back to my room as fast as possible. I was beyond angry. I could hear Emmett calling my name from behind me. I didn't even bother to slow down. However, his long legs gave him twice the stride, so he managed to catch up to me just as I reached the door heading outside.

"Babybel!" He grabbed my arm gently.

I turned around, pointing right in front of his face and nearly screamed once again, "Why are you calling me a cheese? I'm not cheese!"

He held up his hands and looked ashamed. "Hey…don't knock the food group." He hung his head and pouted, softly saying, "It's my favorite food group…"

I couldn't help it. The big bear of a man standing in front of me pouting and defending his favorite food group made me laugh. When I laughed, he perked up and smiled.

"You wanna tell me about it Babybel?" He started rubbing my back comfortingly.

I took a deep breath and shook my head. "It's a horrible, long story. I just need to get my mind off things."

I heard giggling behind us, and I turned around to see Edward and his female friend walking our way.

I sighed in defeat and asked, "Can we just get out of here, please?"

Emmett put his arm around me and pushed the door open.

It was unseasonably warm, so we were able to walk back to my dorm. Emmett could sense that I wasn't in the mood to share my predicament with him, so he just chatted away with nonsense in order to fill the silence. As we neared my dorm, I remembered that I needed some things from the store.

"Oh, Emmett, I forgot, I needed to run to the store. Thanks so much for walking with me. I'm so sorry I yelled at you earlier. I really didn't mean it."

He patted me on the head and chuckled. "Don't you worry your little head about it. I knew something was wrong. It's not in you to be hateful. Just remember, if you need me, I'm here for ya, okay?"

I hugged him and thanked him again.

After I finished my shopping, I stepped outside of the store and it had started to rain. I wasn't prepared – of course I was _never_ prepared – so I didn't have an umbrella. Just the thought of an umbrella made me think of Edward, and immediately just wanted to curl up in my bed.

I briskly walked back to my dorm, and the rain seemed to fall harder the closer I came to my building. I was nearly drenched when my dorm was finally within sight, but I stopped nonetheless.

On the sidewalk out front, was a black, custom Harley Street Glide decked out with silver tribal graphics. As if that wasn't breathtaking enough, sitting atop the bike was a soaking, sopping wet Mace, who was _decked_ out with leather motorcycle pants and matching jacket. His hair was matted down, but didn't look any less sexy than usual. Actually, the wet look…well, it really worked for him. _Wait…what?_

I just stood there. I didn't know what to do. I couldn't just stand there in the rain, and I had nowhere else to go, however, I really didn't want to face Mace either. Even though, at that particular time, my body was having all sorts of reactions to him sitting there on a sexy Harley, dripping wet, and looking…well, like sex on wheels. I didn't want to have these reactions to him. I wanted more than anything to be repulsed by him, and I couldn't explain why I wasn't.

I had heard that it was incredibly difficult to forget the one you lost your virginity to. If that was true, I was going to have a heck of a time getting past what had happened with Mace. I honestly thought I was making love to my boyfriend. The boyfriend I could see myself making a life with. I had totally poured all of my emotions into that experience, and I could have sworn I felt the same emotions bouncing back at me from him – and _him_ being Edward, not Mace. Upon finding out it was Mace, I was hurt – beyond belief – but the emotion had still been poured out and there was nothing I could do about it.

I was still standing there, in the pelting rain, and he was still sitting on his bike, staring right at me. Neither of us made a move, and we both continued to get drenched. Realizing it was superfluous for us both to remain where we were, getting soaked, I began walking toward my building again.

I knew it was wishful thinking, but I had hoped I could just bypass him and make it up to my room. As I stepped closer, he rose from his bike and made to block me from my destination.

"Mace, please…don't do this. I…I can't deal with this. Please?" I tried to avoid eye contact, and _especially_ physical contact.

He stepped closer and put his hands on my shoulders. I sighed in defeat. I really didn't have it in me to fight him off.

"Isabella, I –"

"No! Do _not_ call me Isabella! You may continue to stalk me and approach me against my will, but I will _not_ tolerate you calling me Isabella. My name is Bella!" I snapped.

He hung his head slightly. "I realize your name is Bella, but I think you are far too beautiful for such a mediocre name. If y-"

"Oh no…no. How are you going to stand there and try to flatter me after what you have done? You have ruined my life, do you not realize that?" I was crying, but mixed with the rain, I was sure my tears were not evident.

He cupped my face and brought his within an inch of mine and said, "I can't help it…I'm…I'm in love with you."

I couldn't even fathom what he had just said. _In love? With me? How? Why?_

I pushed his chest and screamed, "Love! How can you even know what love means? Someone who _loves_ someone wouldn't do what you did. Someone who _loves_ someone would at least give that someone the opportunity to _reciprocate_ those feelings. Someone who _loves_ someone wouldn't **STEAL** that someone's most prized possession…and out from under their own brother! How can you possibly stand there and tell me you love me? You don't even know what love is."

He grabbed my shoulders again, and pulled me into his chest. I tried to push away. I tried to hit him. He just held me against him and said, "I know that I have never felt this way toward anyone else in my entire life." He continued to hold me tightly, but began soothingly rubbing my back.

I attempted to push away again, but he held fast. I finally succumbed and simply said, "It's infatuation, Mace. You are infatuated with the _idea_ of me – your **brother's** girlfriend. You just want something you can't have. Ask a psychiatrist, it's not uncommon."

He held me with one arm, and lifted my face with the other. "Kiss me one more time. Tell me you don't feel a thing, and I will walk away forever, never looking back." I started to shake my head, but he whispered, "Please," just as he lowered his lips and connected with mine.

I told my lips not to respond. I told my head to pull away. I told my hands to stay away from his hair. But apparently the neurons in my brain were not transmitting to the correct muscles, because my lips _did_, in fact, respond, and my head _didn't_ pull away, and my fingers instantly found their way into his hair.

He growled against my lips. I was still warring with my brain, telling it to stop what was happening. It wasn't what I wanted. But my body begged to differ. I parted my lips and he didn't waste any time slipping his tongue into my mouth. I fisted my hands in his soaking wet hair and tugged his head in frustration. Our tongues began to wrestle against one another and I couldn't hold back the moan that escaped. He grabbed my hips and pulled me closer, grinding his erection against me.

That's when my brain finally directed my body's correct reactions.

I pulled my hands from his hair and pushed his chest, breaking our kiss and giving me the much needed space to focus.

"No! I don't want this! I don't want you! Leave me alone!" I was sobbing as I grabbed my bag which had fallen from my hands when they had decided to betray me and play in his head of sexy, wet hair. I ran to my room without looking back, wishing with all of my power that what I had just said was true. Maybe if I said it enough, eventually it would be.

* * *

_January 8, 2009_

After my run-in with Mace, I had gone back to my room and drowned myself in triple chocolate chunk ice cream with approximately a cup of hot fudge poured overtop. This was done while still dripping wet seated on my bed. Angela didn't say a word, and she didn't stare, although I am sure she thought I was deranged. Heck, _I_ was sure I was deranged, myself. Once I had finished off all of the chocolate, I just curled up on my bed and fell asleep.

Over the next three days, I had been a walking zombie. I couldn't tell you a single thing that happened in any class. I made sure not to watch Edward with his new female companion. I kept my head down, watched my feet as I walked, and stared at my empty notebook as I sat in my seat. Emily tried to talk to me a few times, but when I barely responded with one-word answers, she quickly gave up. I had tried to apologize, but I was pretty sure it didn't sound sincere. I made sure I was the last person to enter class and the first to leave. Every moment of every day, I spent either in my room or at the library.

Mace hadn't contacted me physically since our last _wet_ encounter. However, he continued to text me and leave messages via voicemail. I ignored every single one. I didn't read the texts and I didn't listen to the messages. I deleted them immediately, to avoid the temptation.

So, Friday night, after the week I had had, I decided to do something I had never done before. I wanted to get drunk. Being that it was Friday night, I knew there would be a party somewhere, and if anyone would know where, it would be Emmett. So, I texted him.

_Hey, where's the happenings tonight?_

It wasn't but a minute later when he responded.

_Babybel…R U trying 2 ask where a party is? lol. Tell U what, I'll pick U up in twenty. B ready._

I responded in agreement and quickly threw on some 'party' clothes. I obeyed the portion of Angela's rules that were intended to keep the skuzz's away, but not the rules that were to help out the making out, because let's face it…I had had enough making out. I just wanted to do the stereotypical 'drowning your sorrows with liquor' and get so drunk that I couldn't remember my name.

I was ready when Emmett showed up. I had tried to get Angela to come with us, but she had plans to go out with Ben. Emmett pulled me into a hug and asked me if everything was okay. I told him it was about to be and he pulled back and looked me in the eye.

"Aww…c'mon. Don't tell me you are planning to drink your problems away? It never works. They just hit you ten times harder the next morning. How 'bout we go out to eat? You and I can go hang out at an all-you-can-eat buffet and gorge ourselves on the most fattening things in the building." He smiled broadly.

"Emmett, you do realize I have never been drunk before, right? I think it's long overdue. Everyone's entitled, right? And, if it makes you feel better, you can be my DB for the night." I smiled sweetly, and then batted my eyes while puckering my lips.

"DB?"

"Designated bodyguard."

"Aww, Babybel…when you put it like that…how can I resist? Just remember, 'with great amounts of alcohol, comes great irresponsibility'." He wrapped an arm around my shoulder and led me out of the building.

I felt so much more confident walking into the party with Emmett at my side. I wasn't worried about any slimeballs like Newton coming onto me.

Emmett suggested I drink a 'girly' drink since I would be what he called a lightweight, with having never had a drink before. He went through the list of different drinks he could concoct and I finally settled on a piña colada. It didn't taste like the piña-colada-flavored candies I had tasted, but it was still pretty good. I didn't care much for the actual alcohol taste, but the buzz I started feeling almost immediately made up for it. I could almost feel my brain fog over with each drink I took, replacing the depression with a giddy euphoria.

I lifted my glass to my lips for the fifth sip, and Emmett grabbed my wrist. "Woah there, Cheesecake. You need to slow your roll. You keep drinking like that, and you'll be three sheets to the wind faster'n I can say 'set your sails'. Besides, I totally forgot to ask you if you made sure to have a full stomach when you came tonight. Liquor and an empty stomach makes for a very uncomfortable Babybel."

I was giggling uncontrollably and I couldn't decide if it was because he referred to me as another cheese, or if it was his use of the term 'three sheets to the wind' or if it was because I hadn't eaten since Thursday morning and if he knew that he would probably take my drink from me. Regardless of _why_ I was laughing, I was laughing so hard that my drink started to spill. Emmett took it out of my hand and told me to take deep breaths and quit laughing so I didn't end up with more alcohol on the floor than in my belly.

I finally managed to quit laughing and also to finish my drink. I asked Emmett to make me another and he told me I should maybe wait a few minutes to see just how buzzed I was already.

"Fine, but only if you come and dance with me," I said with a pout.

"Sure thing, let's boogie down!" He took me by the hand and led me out into the middle of the room, where people were scattered dancing to Britney Spears' 'Circus'. We had barely gotten into dancing position when the song ended and the next one started. It was Lady Antebellum's 'Need You Now'.

_Picture perfect memories,_

_Scattered all around the floor._

I wrapped my arms around Emmett's neck and had his hands went to my hips. We began swaying back and forth to the music. My giddiness was slowly fading as I listened to the lyrics of the song.

_Reaching for the phone cause, I can't fight it any more._

_And I wonder if I ever cross your mind._

_For me it happens all the time._

I grasped Emmett's shirt firmly as I tried to shift my thoughts from Edward.

_It's a quarter after one, I'm all alone and I need you now._

_Said I wouldn't call but I lost all control and I need you now._

_And I don't know how I can do without, I just need you now._

Emmett must have sensed the tension, because he pulled me closer and rested my head on his chest and started humming to the music as he smoothed down my hair with one hand and rubbed my back with the other.

_Another shot of whiskey, can't stop looking at the door._

_Wishing you'd come sweeping in the way you did before._

_And I wonder if I ever cross your mind._

_For me it happens all the time._

Emmett was being so sweet, so caring, so…loving. I convinced myself that Edward had moved on, so I should try to as well. Yeah, I know…it was the alcohol speaking, but how was I to know that alcohol talks to you – and for you? It was my first time getting drunk.

I lifted my head and pulled Emmett's head down toward mine. He was so dang tall that he nearly had to bend over for me to reach him. He looked at me oddly, and lowered his head, turning his face to the side, so that my mouth was at his ear. _I don't want your ear…_ I turned his face toward mine and moved to less than an inch from his mouth, when his eyes went wide and he pulled back.

"Babybel! Aww, man…you can't do this. You have been drinking. I can't take advantage of a woman when she's drunk." He started to pull away, but I pulled him toward me again.

"It's not taking advantage if the woman wants it, Emmett." I smiled sweetly.

"Aww, dang. Look, I know you think you want it right now, but when you are sober you will most likely change your mind. But, look…I promise you that if tomorrow, after you are sober, if you still want a shot…well, Babybel, I promise to give you one." He grinned teasingly.

_But I wasn't teasing._

I slid my hand down his chest and his stomach right to his _junk_ and grabbed a – oh my! A very **big** handful.

He squeaked and grabbed my hands. "Look, Bella. Seriously, you don't know how bad I would like to take you up on your offer, but you are intoxicated, and I really think you are just trying to take your mind off Edward. I think tomorrow you would totally regret anything we were to do together." He moved our hands up to my face and held my cheeks. "I swear, on my 1963 Amazing Spiderman #1, that if you still feel this way tomorrow, we can go out on a _real_ date and act like _real_ adults, and THEN I will kiss you." He smiled sweetly and kissed my forehead.

"Thass fine, Emmett. I can dance all by myself." I strutted – well, more like stumbled – away toward the pool table in the corner that wasn't being used. Don't ask me what was going on in my head. I had liquid courage, and apparently making a fool of myself was something I had subconsciously wanted to do for a very long time. I saw a milk crate under the pool table that was storing a few different bags of chips, so I dumped the bags onto the floor, turned the crate over, and used it as a stepstool to climb up onto the table.

Justin Timberlake's 'Cry Me a River' began to play. _In hindsight, I must say that this was inevitably fate working against me._

I have always known I was uncoordinated, and this had never been an issue because I knew better than to attempt any type of dance move besides the slow dancing, side-to-side, easy kind. However, my brain forgot that minor detail, because I started dancing like Shakira or something equally embarrassing.

_You were my sun, you were my earth  
but you didn't know all the ways I loved you, no  
So you took a chance, made other plans  
But I betcha didn't think that they would come crashin' down, no  
_

A crowd had started gathering around, but I didn't care – I was in a trance. A strange, JT-induced, depressed trance. I blame it on the horrible words of that song.

_You don't have to say, What cha did  
I already know, I found out from HIM  
now there's just no chance  
with you and me  
there will never be  
don't it make you sad about it_

I was still dancing, but it was purely instinctual, because mentally I was no longer cognizant. I was thinking about the small phrase, 'now there's just no chance with you and me', and I could feel the tears pouring from my eyes. I had my eyes closed, so when I felt two arms wrap around my waist, it startled me, but I was beyond caring, so I just let them pull me off of the table.

_Girl I refuse  
you must have me confused with some other guy  
the bridges were burned  
now it's your turn, to cry_

Yes, it was my turn to cry, and I was doing just that. I kept my eyes closed and buried my head into the strong chest that I was cradled against. "Shhhh, shhhh," I heard whispered against my ear.

_Cry me a river  
Cry me a river er er  
cry me a river  
cry me a river er er  
_

"Man, let her sexy ass dance!"

"Aww, what a fucking buzz kill! You're pathetic man, you should let her dance."

The body carrying me across the room halted and shifted in place. "You better back the fuck off. Can't you see she's upset? Go fuck yourself, you imbecile."

I mumbled against the chest, "I'm not upset," even though there were still tears dripping from my chin.

"Yeah, I know. It'll be alright. I'm gonna get you out of here."

I suddenly felt the wind blowing in my hair. It wasn't bitterly cold, but it was enough to give me a chill. The arms held me tighter. "Sorry, it's kinda cold, but you need the fresh air to help you sober up."

"I'm not drunk," I said with a sniffle.

He chuckled. "No, you're not drunk, huh?"

"No, I'm just…someone else tonight," I said with a sigh.

The body sat down, with me in its lap and said, "I like who _you_ are."

I pulled my head away from the warm, inviting chest to look at the face that the body belonged to. I didn't know whether to laugh or cry when I saw that it was Mace. My body decided to cry.

He rubbed my back. "I'm sorry. I know I'm probably the last person you wanted to see, but I had to get you out of there before you made a fool of yourself. You would have hated yourself in the morning."

Through tears, I looked at him and said, "So, then you're like my knight on shining Harley tonight!" I snorted, and then full-out laughed. I couldn't hold it back. I was laughing so hard that I couldn't catch my breath and my sad tears turned into tears of laughter. Or maybe it was a bit of both. At that point, I didn't even know anymore.

Mace pulled me back into his chest and laughed. "Definitely not yourself tonight." He placed his hand on my cheek and said, "And I will be whatever kind of knight you want me to be, _whenever_ you want me to be."

And then I was back to sorrowful tears. _Stupid alcohol makes your emotions jump all over the place, doesn't it?_

"Why would you be so nice to me? I am a horrible person. No one should want to be with me."

He ran a thumb over the apple of my cheek and smiled sadly. "You aren't a horrible person. It's not your fault what has happened to you. You were tricked. The person _being_ tricked isn't the bad guy…it's the person who _tricked_ you who is so horrible. There are just some people out there who have no hope of ever being a good person, Bella. It's just awful that sweet, innocent girls like you end up being hurt by those people."

I looked up again to see his eyes filled with sadness. In that moment, I wanted nothing more than to comfort him, but I was starting to sober up, apparently, and I realized that I was not in a good position – both physically and mentally.

I stood up from his lap, and he held my waist to steady me. I turned, with tears in my eyes, yet again, and said, "Thank you for helping me, and keeping me from making a fool of myself. I just need to go home and go to bed."

Mace stood and placed his hands on my shoulders. "I hate so much to see you cry. Especially over my brother or me – whichever it is that is upsetting you the most at this moment. I wish I could make things right. Fix the wrong that I have done. I am so sorry, Bella. So incredibly sorry." He leaned forward and kissed my forehead. "Let's go find Emmett and see if he can get you home."

I wasn't sure why he wanted Emmett to take me home instead of him, but I was too distraught to try to figure it out. I was also too distraught to make heads or tails of why he was suddenly being nice and repentant. This only served to confuse me even more.

I wasn't about to spend the evening more confused than I had to be, so I grabbed his arm and pulled him back. He turned to look at me in confusion.

Shaking my head, I asked, "Why? Why are you…_conceding_? Why are you backing off and not fighting anymore?"

He turned around and for the briefest moment, I saw the same sadness from seconds before, but he quickly replaced it with a cocky smirk. "Is that what you think? That I'm not fighting? Oh, Isabella, you have so much to learn. This…_this_…is how real men fight. You don't see Eddie boy fighting for you, do you? Was he here to pick you up when you fell – metaphorically speaking, of course. Or was he quite possibly off, with some _other_ girl, catering to _her_ every need, and not giving two shits about you? I truly _am_ sorry for the hurt I have caused you, with all of my heart. But, that doesn't mean I won't play hard ball to get what I want." He shrugged unapologetically. "It's what I do."

I stayed there dumbfounded for a moment. He had a point. Edward wasn't fighting for me. Edward completely turned his back on me. Should I be flattered that Mace was 'fighting for me'? Or should I worry that Edward wasn't? Should I care either way? These were not things a drunken mind needed to contemplate, so I stored it for later consideration.

We found Emmett and he instantly agreed to take me home. As we were walking back, he asked me if I wanted to talk about it, to which, of course, I said no.

In front of my dorm, he pulled me into a hug and softly said, "I'll tell you what. I'll call you tomorrow, and maybe we can go get a bite to eat, and then if you feel like talking, I'll be there for you. Sound good?"

I smiled up at him and giggled. "Are you asking me out on a date, Emmett McCarty?"

He kissed me on the top of my head and answered, "Only if you want it to be, Babybel. Only if you want it to be."

**Before you call me out on it, let me tell you that it ****IS**** possible to get drunk on ONE drink. I swear. Laugh at me if you want, I don't care ;) Also, someone in my LC said their husband just so happens to STILL get drunk off of **ONE** pina colada, so neener, neener, neener! Lol**

**Remember to check my profile for links to pics and vids ;)**

**Reviews still get teasers ;)**

**See you again on Friday!**


	15. White Violets

Thank you LC – Alitriona/Eila, Allysue08, Rags88, Revrag, Shereebedee, Spellboundagain, and WhatObsession17. I adore the ever living crap out of you guys!

SM owns, I clone. (or twinify)

**White Violets**

_January 9, 2009_

I wasn't quite sure of what a hangover should be like, but whatever I woke up feeling, I didn't ever want to feel again. I felt as if someone was pounding a chisel into my skull, and with every pound my stomach nearly lurched with nausea.

I lifted my head to see what time it was and regretted it as soon as I did. I groaned loudly and dropped my head back down onto my pillow.

"I have some Advil and water lying on your nightstand. Emmett informed me that you might need it today." She snickered and added, "He is a great friend, that Emmett. He told me of some of your shenanigans. You are lucky to have someone who looks out for you like that." She moved over to my bed and sat down. She began rubbing my back. "Take some Advil, and then you need to eat something. I haven't seen you eat for two days, and I highly doubt you ate when I wasn't looking."

"Yes, Mother," I grumbled. I was incredibly grateful for her thoughtfulness, but I had to tease her relentlessly for her mother-hen attitude she always possessed.

She helped me into a sitting position and handed me the Advil and water. "So, Emmett told me some pretty interesting things, Bella. How much did you drink last night?"

I groaned. "Man, Angela, I only had a piña colada. Just _one_. Apparently I can't handle my liquor, because the rest of the night's pretty fuzzy."

"Yeah, you had poor Emmett in quite a bit of a tizzy last night. I don't think I have ever heard him sounding as nervous as he did when he called me to tell me to keep an eye on you." She started giggling loudly and I grabbed my head in pain. "Oh, sorry," she whispered.

"Well, I know it's probably killing ya, so go ahead and spill the beans. Tell me how much I have defamed myself. Will I ever be able to go out in public again?" I pulled my legs up, wrapping my arms around them, and rested my head on my knees.

"What order do you want it in? Least to greatest or greatest to least? I think greatest to least would have the lowest degree of impact."

"Whatever, just get it out," I groaned.

"Well, apparently you either thought Emmett was Edward – which I don't think is the case – or you just wanted to get Edward out of your head." I looked at her in disbelief as she hesitantly continued, "You…um…tried to kiss him, and then…" My eyes bugged out of my head. _I tried to kiss Emmett?_ But that was nothing compared to what came out of her mouth next. "Well, when he told you he wouldn't kiss you while you were drunk, you…um…decided to take matters into your own hands…_literally._"

"What do you mean…literally?"

"Let's just say you grabbed a very personal handful of Emmett."

_OH MY GOD!_

"For God's sake, please tell me you're joking," I begged.

"I don't think Emmett would joke about that, and I am just repeating what he said," she said apologetically.

"Man…how am I ever gonna face him again?"

"Oh, well, um…that's another thing. You guys are supposed to go out to dinner tonight."

My head shot up. "What? Why?"

"Well, um…you were coming onto him and he said that if you still felt the same way today, you guys could go out as adults and try things sober."

"He seriously said that? That he wanted us to try to…to date?" I was amazed. In all the time I had known Emmett, he had never once led me to believe he was attracted to me. I thought our relationship was more of a brother-sister type.

"Yeah, well, he said that once he saw you crying, he wasn't sure if you really meant what you had said about wanting him, so he was going to let you decide."

"Crying? When did I start crying?" _This just keeps getting better._

"Well, um…after Emmett turned down your advances," she snickered, and continued, "you said you wanted to dance by yourself. He heard a fight, so he went to break it up and when he came back he couldn't find you. When he asked around for you, some people said they saw you dancing on a pool table –"

"Wait! I danced on a freaking pool table? I thought you said you were going to tell me the worst thing first, something about lessening the shock or something?" I nearly screamed at her.

"I figured a crotch grab to one of your best guy friends would be worse than dancing on a pool table…"

"Angela, you have seen my _attempts_ at dancing. Do you honestly think I want to do that stuff in public? And on a pool table nonetheless? Sheesh." I was mortified.

"Aneeway," she whined. "He said that those people told him some dark and mysterious dude pulled you off the table, so he started looking for you."

"Mace."

Her jaw dropped. "Mace was there?"

"I remember bits and pieces of Mace, but they can't be accurate. He was being…_nice._ God, I hope I didn't do something stupid with _him,_ too." I buried my face in my hands.

"Well, I don't _think_ you did, because Emmett said…oh, oh. _Now_ that makes sense." She tapped her chin with her forefinger and puckered her lips.

"What makes sense?"

"Well, Emmett said when he was looking for you, Edward brought you back in and asked him to take you home, and that you were crying. He said Edward didn't look right, but he figured it was because you guys had broken up and he was upset seeing you there or something. So it was Mace that took you back to Emmett? Why would he do that instead of taking you home?"

I shook my head. "I have no clue. Like, I said, it's pretty vague what I remember about my interaction with Mace, and it doesn't seem feasible anyway."

Angela jumped up and made me some toast and a glass of orange juice. When she brought it over to me she said, "I know it's not much, but you don't want to eat too fast after the night you had. We can get a bigger lunch, and then you should be good for your dinner with Emmett."

_Dinner. With Emmett._ I couldn't help but wonder if things would be awkward. Of course I was upset about how I had acted the night before, but if he was still willing to go out after that horrendous display, then maybe…

_Maybe what? He can be a rebound?_

"Angela, I don't know if –"

"I've been thinking about that, Bella. It doesn't have to be romantic. I just think it's a good idea if you went out to get your mind off things. It's obvious the party idea wasn't a good decision – which I didn't think it was, but it's your life, and ultimately your choice. I think going out with a good friend is a good idea. Besides, I don't think he is anticipating it being romantic. He's leaving it all up to you." And with that, she handed me my phone, grinning.

I couldn't speak to him until I broke the ice with a text.

_Um…how R U 2day? Did I scare U off last night? I'm so sorry 4 my behavior, it's unacceptable. 4give me? You're the bestest friend 4 being there 4 me thank you!_

I waited patiently as I nursed my orange juice and nibbled my toast. He responded quickly.

_Babybel! Ur alive and well! (hey, I rhymed!) nothing 2 forgive, remember that. That's what friends R 4. How R U feeling 2day? Headache? Did Ang hook U up?_

I grinned when I read his text, and how he had to point out that he rhymed. He was such a goofball. But an incredibly sweet goofball. I decided the discussion we needed to have was best to be had verbally, so I called him instead of texting. He picked up on the first ring.

"Hey, Cheesecake! How ya feeling today?" he boomed in my ear. I pulled the phone back about six inches.

"Emmett, first – headache, remember? Please don't scream. And second – what is your fascination with me and cheese?" I giggled.

"Well, I told you that cheese is my favorite food group…and, well…you're my favorite girl, so it comes naturally to call you cheese." He sounded embarrassed, so I just giggled and decided to get to the matter at hand.

"So, you, um…told Angela to have me call you today?" I asked shyly.

"Yeah…well, um…do you remember anything about last night?"

I could tell he was hesitant about bringing it up, so I thought I would put his mind at ease. "Don't worry, Angela was nice enough to fill me in on all of the details that I had luckily forgotten – or maybe suppressed – so yeah, I know pretty much what happened last night. I'm so sorry about that, Emmett. Really, really sorry. I hope I haven't made you regret our friendship."

"Aww, Babybel. You could never do that. Listen, I'm a dude…and, well…you know, dudes don't ever have a problem with a beautiful girl making the moves on them, trust me. It's just that you were intoxicated, and I could never forgive myself if I let the situation go any further. But, please…don't ever think I was appalled by your actions. I just…well, wanted you to be sober if you ever tried something like that, that's all."

He made it sound as if he had thought about it before, and I didn't know whether to be flattered or worried. How _much_ had he thought of it? And…how _far_ had he gone with his thoughts? These were things that I needed to think about, but not while he was waiting for me to respond to what he had just said.

"Well, Emmett, you are a wonderful friend. Not many guys would have been that respectful, and I owe you big time."

"Then go out to eat with me tonight." _Wait, what?_ I thought he was leaving this up to me.

"Um, and that would be repaying you how?"

"Well, Babybel, I spend most of my weekends as a chaperone for college parties, as you know. For one thing, I have seen my fair share of what these girls do at these parties – and trust me, it's far worse than anything you would ever think of doing. I haven't had an interest in a girl on campus in ages. And second, well, since I spend all of my time as a campus bouncer so to speak, I don't get much time to go looking for a date. So, needless to say…I haven't been on a date in ages. And we can go strictly as friends, if that's what you want, Babybel, I'd just like to be a normal college dude, on a normal date, for a change."

How could I say no to that? So, I agreed. And since he offered, I figured we could go as friends and then in the long run if either of us wanted more we could cross that bridge when we got there. As it stood right then, my heart still belonged to Edward; broken and shattered as it may have been.

He agreed to pick me up at seven, but he wouldn't tell me where we were going, so I decided to dress semi-casually and hope for the best.

At exactly 6:59, Emmett knocked on my door holding a bouquet of white violets. A lump formed in my throat when I thought about what a white violet means, but I quickly pushed it down, thinking surely Emmett didn't consult the florist as to the meanings of flowers before he bought them. He probably just grabbed what he thought was the prettiest.

_At least let's hope._

I quickly placed them in a vase, and followed Emmett out of the building. He led me to a brand new victory red Hummer H3T, with an extended cab. I stopped in my tracks and looked up at him. "Emmett, how did you manage to get one of these? It barely came out, what, six months ago?" I slowly trailed my fingers across the tailgate. I had wanted one of those babies since I first saw them advertized. I don't know why, it just captured my eye like nothing ever had before.

"Yeah, that's about how long ago it was, I'm not sure. I bought it the minute it hit the first lot in Mass. I had to drive over three hours to get it, but it was worth it. This is my baby."

"I can't believe I'm finally gonna get to ride in one. You've made my dreams come true, Mr. McCarty." I giggled.

Emmett looked at me in shock. "Whoa dude, Mr. McCarty is my father." I busted out laughing because he sounded just like Crush in _Finding Nemo_.

Emmett held out his hand and I looked quizzically at him. "Babybel, I have a four-inch lift put on this, you are _not_ gonna be able to get up in it without help," he said chuckling.

We drove for about fifteen minutes, before pulling into the parking lot of a familiar restaurant. The restaurant Edward and I had gone to on our first date. My heart sank. _It's not his fault; he couldn't have known._

And then it hit me. Edward and I had walked to the restaurant and yet it took us fifteen minutes to _drive_ there?

Emmett must have noticed my confused look, because he elbowed me and with a cheesy grin, said, "You wanted to ride in this, and what kind of man would I be if I only drove you two blocks? I had to give you a proper ride."

Once we were seated in our booth, the very same server who had served Edward and me, came up to take our order. She eyeballed me like I was some disease-infested hooker or something equally atrocious. I guess it would kind of make sense. Why else would someone like me be in here on two separate occasions, with two equally hot guys, unless I was a prostitute?

I glanced over at Emmett and my mouth dropped open. He was staring at her in complete awe. It wasn't a look of lust like you'd expect from a man. No, it was a look of complete adoration. And when she spoke, you would have thought angels descended from heaven and began a magnificent chorus.

The odd thing about the whole thing was that when Rosalie spoke, it wasn't with the confidence she had spoken when Edward and I had been there before. She was almost…_timid._

I sat there, amazed, watching their adolescent interaction. It was the most adorable thing I had ever seen. I knew right then and there what my next mission was going to be.

All throughout us placing our order, Emmett and Rosalie avoided eye contact and spoke super politely to one another, both of them oblivious to my presence, so much so that Rosalie walked away without even taking my order. I didn't mind, though. I knew what it was like to be so incredibly attracted to a guy that you get completely flustered and can't even perform simple, ritualistic actions.

Emmett followed her with his eyes until she was out of sight and then he sighed like a swooning girl, and I couldn't hold back the snicker. His head snapped up, acknowledging me for the first time in the last several minutes, and he blushed.

"I think tonight was a very good idea, Emmett." I could tell he was getting nervous by my admission. I was pretty sure it was because he was afraid I was thinking we could be something more. It didn't take the induction of Rosalie for me to realize that Emmett and I made better friends than anything else. I was pretty sold on the idea the minute he showed up at my dorm. It's not that it was awkward. It was anything but. It was just that when Emmett knocked on my door, I opened it to my best friend, and I looked into the eyes of said best friend and knew that that was all I ever wanted to see from his eyes – friendship, and nothing more.

I reached across the table, and held Emmett's hand. I watched his Adam's apple bob with a nervous swallow. "I think it was a great idea, Emmett, because had we not come out tonight, you might never have met Rosalie, and I think that would be an awful shame."

He looked ashamed and squeezed my hand back as he said, "Babybel, I didn't mean-"

I held up my hand. "Emmett, I love you." His eyes doubled in size and I chuckled at his credulity, and continued, "As a brother, Emmett, as a brother." He visibly relaxed and smiled sweetly. "I want you to be happy, you deserve it. And I really think Rosalie can give you that opportunity. So, when she comes back here, I want you to ask her out."

He shook his head. "I don't think so. First of all, it is absolutely _not_ kosher to ask a woman out when you are currently on a date. My momma taught me better than that. And second…well, have you _seen_ her? There's no way she's single, and if she is, well then obviously her standards are way higher than anything I can reach."

I squeezed his hand again, and smiled widely. "You don't see yourself clearly at all. You're not like anyone I've ever known. Any woman would be a fool not to chase you down, Emmett. Trust me on this."

He grinned and bowed his head. "I'm still not gonna ask her out while I sit here with you – how would that make me look?"

Just then, I had a magnificent idea. I jerked my hand from his quickly and started squirming in my seat. "I'm sorry; I need to use the restroom. I'll be right back."

I made it look as if I was heading to the bathroom, and when I glanced over my shoulder to find that Emmett wasn't watching me, I darted in the opposite direction and toward the server's station. Rosalie was there, rolling silverware.

"Excuse me, Rosalie?"

Her eyes flicked toward me and she nearly snarled, "It's barely been five minutes. You're order isn't ready. Trust me, I'm good at my job, I won't let your food sit and get cold." Apparently she never remembered that she forgot to take my order.

"Actually, this has nothing to do with food," I said politely and smiled. "Could I speak to you in private for a moment? Please?"

She guardedly looked at her coworkers and turned to follow me.

Once we were out of view – and earshot – of anyone else, I began, "I couldn't help but notice how you were looking at Emmett, a bit ago, and –"

"Look," she cut me off. "I'm not gonna try to invade your territory. I'm not a home wrecker. I don't try to steal other women's men. He's yours, I get it."

I giggled and shook my head. "Actually, it's quite the opposite. I was trying to tell you that I _want_ you to make an effort to pursue him." She looked at me dubiously and I held up my finger for her to wait a minute. "Emmett and I have been friends since the beginning of the school year. We could never be anything more than friends, trust me. We may have come out tonight on a date, but I assure you, it isn't romantic in any way."

She narrowed her eyes. "What's wrong with him? Why are you giving him up? People don't just give hot guys like him away without there being something wrong with him. Does he have permanent bad breath? Horrible body odor? Lucky underwear he won't wash?"

I started laughing and shook my head. "No, no! It's nothing like that, seriously!" I continued to chuckle as I said, "He's like a big brother to me, and I am almost certain I am like a little sister to him. We just aren't romantically compatible, that's all."

She still looked suspecting when she replied, "So why did he send you to do his dirty work? Why doesn't he have the balls to ask me?"

"Well…he doesn't know I'm over here, actually. I told him he should ask you out and he said that he can't ask another woman out when he's on a date with someone else. I told him how I didn't mind, but he said it would make him look bad in your eyes, so I let it go. But…well…he's sorta intimidated by you," I mumbled.

"_He's _intimidated by _me?_ What in the world for?"

"Well, he said that you couldn't possibly be single, and if you were…then…your standards were way higher than what he had to offer."

She snorted. The beautiful, modelesque _goddess_ in front of me snorted. It was rather humorous.

"He can get any woman he wants, from any_where,_ and he's intimidated by _me?_ What are the odds?" She just stood there shaking her head.

I finally convinced her that she could ask Emmett to go anywhere with her and he would go. She just needed to come up with an idea before she brought _his_ food – since I still had no food on the way.

I was floating on cloud nine when I went back to the table. I was pretty proud of myself. I may have destroyed all hope in my own relationship, but hopefully, I had just instigated a lasting relationship for one of my best friends.

Emmett looked at me questioningly, but didn't say anything. Within a few seconds, Rosalie returned with Emmett's food. As she set the plate on the table, she looked at me, scrunched her face, and looked back at the table as if she was trying to solve a puzzle.

"Did you, um…you didn't order?"

When she said that, Emmett looked at me in shock. _He_ hadn't even realized I didn't get to order. I didn't want to embarrass her in front of him, and more than anything, I really wanted them to attempt a relationship with one another, so I just said that I wasn't hungry. Rosalie looked unsure, and Emmett just boomed that he was starving and started scarfing his food. Rosalie giggled and took our glasses to get us a refill. I have to say…Rosalie did _not_ look like the type to giggle, so I was probably staring at her slack-jawed after that.

With his mouth full, Emmett said, "Whu? Why aw you ooking at huh ike gat?"

I groaned and made a face. "Emmett, didn't your momma teach you to never speak with your mouth full? That's disgusting. And I was only looking at her 'like that' because it caught me off guard when she giggled. She doesn't look like a giggler to me." I giggled myself, as I admitted this.

Emmett had just stuffed his mouth full again, and mumbled around his food, _again_, "I fink iss cue." And then, as soon as he realized what he said, he blushed and hung his head.

"Aww, Emmett…how adorable! Do you have a wittle bitty cwush on the puwty wady?" I sniggered.

He tore off a piece of his dinner roll and threw it at me. "Shush, you. Men don't get 'crushes'." He stuck out his tongue, which thankfully was free of food at that moment.

Rosalie came back with our drinks. Emmett didn't even look up at her. She eyed me nervously, and I nodded for her to go for it. She stood there dawdling for a moment and then cleared her throat. Emmett was studying his food as if he were watching for an atom to divide. I could see his brow furrowing in concentration. He was desperately trying to avoid eye contact, and it was freaking hilarious.

"Um, hey…I have a, uh, thing next weekend at a place and…I was wondering if…" she was mumbling and fumbling all over her words. I felt so sorry for her, so I kicked Emmett in the shin to get his attention.

His head shot up and he hissed, "Dang it, Babybel, what the hell was that for?" He didn't look angry, he looked hurt and I had to laugh at that. Most guys would get pissed, but not Emmett. He was just too sweet.

I widened my eyes and barely nodded toward Rosalie, gesturing discreetly that he needed to pay attention to her. His eyes widened in response, but that was in a gesture of fear, and I chuckled again. He slowly raised his head to look her in the eye – well, more like look her in the shoulder.

She took a deep breath, squared her shoulders and spoke with determination. "There's a car show, that I enter every month, and it's this coming weekend. I was wondering if you'd like to go with me. If you're not really into cars, it's –"

Emmett _finally_ made eye contact and cut her off. "Not into cars? What kind of _real_ man isn't into cars? What do you show?"

Rosalie beamed. "I have a '68 SS Chevelle with suicide doors, chopped top, tubbed with Mickey Thompson tires on weld racing rims."

Emmett was drooling, well not literally, of course. "Marry me?" He blushed instantly, but recovered nicely. He chuckled, and bumped her elbow lightly with his fist. "Dude, that car is like a dream come true. I have _got_ to see it."

They were both just staring at each other like a couple of goons, so I spoke next.

"Well, sounds like a date, then!" I smiled widely and they both turned to me with wide eyes. "Well…do you prefer to call it something else?" I tried to hold back my laugh. I tried very hard. But, I have never been good at holding in any kind of humorous response. It just made it worse, and I ended up laughing harder.

Luckily that broke the ice permanently, and we all started chuckling.

They discussed the details, and before Rosalie went back to her station, she looked at me with a sincere smile and mouthed, "Thanks, I owe you one."

The whole way back to my dorm – Emmett didn't take the long way this time – he talked about nothing but how coincidental it was that she asked him out when he was trying to get the nerve to ask her out.

Just as we were pulling up to my dorm he stopped speaking mid-sentence. I glanced over at him and he had a look of recognition on his face.

I quickly grabbed the door handle and said, "Thanks so much for dinner, Emmett, I really –"

He snatched my elbow before I could escape. "Not so fast, Babybel. What did you do? No woman on this earth would blatantly ask a guy out when he was on a date with another girl." _Actually, I'm pretty sure the members of the BSB would…_

"I just…er…maybe helped things along." I tried once again to escape, but he wouldn't let go of my elbow.

He looked sternly at me. "You're a good friend, Cheesecake. I owe you one. You really shouldn't have ruined your date by hooking me up with someone else. I feel horrible."

I shifted in my seat so that I was looking him face to face. "Emmett, honest to God, I was more than happy to do it. I haven't smiled this much in nine days. It felt good, and I was ecstatic to be able to do something for you. _You_ have been a great friend, Powerhouse."

He quirked an eyebrow at me and grinned. "Powerhouse? That's new…"

I smiled shyly, "Well, you named me after your favorite food, and well…chocolate is my favorite food. The Powerhouse name suits you, and I happen to love that candybar, so, there ya go." Right about that time, my stomach growled and Emmett looked at me admonishingly.

"Why didn't you eat, Babybel? That wasn't much of a date; you didn't eat and then you set me up with another woman. I managed to ruin the whole concept of making you feel better." He frowned and shook his head.

I grinned and grabbed his hand, which had finally dropped from my elbow. I looked him straight in the eye and said, "Emmett, I swear, with every fiber of my being, that tonight was the best night I have had recently. You didn't ruin anything. In fact, you gave me hope. Hope that someday I may be able to move on and eventually find someone who is my forever."

Emmett pulled me into a hug and thanked me, promising to take me out for a proper fun night soon. I told him I wouldn't hold him to it because I had a feeling that he was about to be short on supplies of free nights. We both chuckled and parted ways.

I walked into my room smiling and Angela started bouncing in her seat. "I take it that means it went well?"

I was momentarily confused, but then I realized she thought I was smiling because the date went well. I laughed and said, "Emmett is going to go out with our server this weekend."

She looked angry, and growled, "What? Why in the hell did he ask the server out while he was on a date with you? I'm gonna knee him in the nads the next time I see him!" Poor Angela was livid.

"No, Angela, he didn't ask, she asked him."

Before I could continue she was standing from her desk, grabbing her shoes and yelling, "Where did you go? I'm gonna go give her a what for! And after that, Emmett's getting one too! He just accepted with you sitting right there? What is wrong with him?"

I grabbed her by the shoulders and shook her. "Angela, calm down. It's not like that. I _told_ her to ask him out." Her mouth dropped and I held up my hand. "You see…the minute Emmett knocked on the door, I knew he could never be more than a friend to me, and I think he felt the same way. At least, I'm _sure_ he did once we reached the restaurant."

She looked at me strangely. "What happened at the restaurant? Wait…you said you thought he felt the same way? Then what was with the flowers?"

I chuckled. "Well, Angela, Emmett's a dude, so I think that he most likely didn't know that they meant 'Let's take a chance'. He probably just grabbed some that he thought were pretty." She nodded and giggled. I then said, "So, let me tell you about what happened at the restaurant."

We sat down on her bed and I told her the whole story. She giggled throughout at the way Emmett reacted to Rosalie. Neither of us would have ever imagined he would act that way. Emmett was the male equivalent of a social butterfly, so who would have thought he would ever act _shy_ or embarrassed?

"So, in the end, it worked out perfectly. It was love at first sight, and I helped Emmett find his mate." We both snickered, and then sighed contently.

Later that night, after I had finished all of my homework and straightened up the room, I lay down to go to sleep. The elation had worn off from the matchmaking, and I was starting to feel depressed and disgusted. Disgusted with myself. I had been so stupid and so naïve and I didn't deserve romance if I couldn't even tell the difference between my boyfriend and someone else. Regardless of if they looked identical. I have heard it said that people can tell the difference in a kiss when they are blindfolded, so I should have known something was off. And, to make matters worse, I couldn't help but _feel_ attraction to him in some sickening way.

Yeah, I didn't deserve a relationship. I had probably missed out on my one and only shot at happiness.

Well, at least I could now focus one hundred percent on my studies. I would become a model student. I would make my father proud.

Even as I repeated this mantra in my head, I reached into my top drawer of my nightstand, grabbed the Star Trek bookmark that Edward had given me the day after he called me his girlfriend. I tucked it under my pillow and held it with my right hand. I may have lost my opportunity, but it didn't mean I was happily accepting it.

I fell asleep with tears in my eyes, once again, as I thought of a quote my mom once told me when she knew she didn't have much time left. She had been trying to prepare me for all the things in life that a mother is usually there for. Unfortunately, at the age of eleven, I didn't remember much of what she said – mostly because I hadn't thought it was all necessary. I wished now that I had recorded her or at least paid better attention, taken notes or something. I could probably use all sorts of her wisdom at this point in my life.

I had, in fact, written down that particular saying just because it had sounded so pretty when she spoke it. I didn't know what it meant then, but I wrote it in the front of my diary and read it every day until the day she died.

_An unbroken heart is sterile, only a heart that has been broken can understand how precious love is.*_

**This quote is from my dear co-author (see how I sneak that in there without her permission?) Alitriona/Eila. She mentioned it ages ago and I saved it, knowing we would both forget it by the time I needed it! LOL!**

**Next week - ALICE AND JASPER! Woot woot! (this is why miss Allysue08 worked things out for the extra chapter this week. She is so psyched to get Jasper, lol!)**

**My very dear friend kdc2239 has a story that I know you all will absolutely LOVE! Check it out here: **www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/s/5961148/1/Fuggiasco

**Teaser for a review as always :)**


	16. Yellow Submarine

Thanks so much to my LC, my rock(s)! I LOVE YOU GUYS! SO FREAKING MUCH!

Alitriona/Eila, Allysue08, Rags88, Revrag, Shereebedee, Spellboundagain, and WhatObsession17

Leasing

I now give you Allysue08's baby! This is what she's been waiting for. This is what she forced the extra chapter for last week. It's been killing her for the last 5 weeks knowing it's been written and not getting put on ffnet for the world to read! LOL! She helped me design her perfect husband… er… Jasper. Tell us what you think *wink*

**Yellow Submarine**

_February_ 6, 2010

After my quazi-date with Emmett, life went back to normal. Well, when I say normal, I mean like the days in Forks. I went back to being a loner and immersing myself into my schoolwork. I spoke to my dad several times a week, and I spent the majority of my free time in the library. Just like old times.

I had only tried to contact Edward on one more occasion. It was via an email. I poured my heart out to him and apologized profusely. I also told him I would not bother him anymore, and if he ever felt the need to forgive me, he could search me out. I wasn't going to wallow or beseech him on a daily basis. He could accept my apology or not, the ball was in his court. I had told him he would always hold a place in my heart, and that I would never forget him.

He never responded. I had taken that as his answer. He couldn't forgive me, so there was nothing more I could have done. I had to move on. The only way to do that was to live in my little Bella-induced bubble, just like I had back in Forks. My bubble protected me. My bubble comforted me. My bubble kept me from pain. My bubble was a bunch of delusional psychobabble that I had invented in order to feel a false sense of security and to avoid living life like a normal human being.

_I never said I wasn't pathetic._

Oddly enough, after my dinner with Emmett, I also had seen neither hide nor hair of Mace. I was mostly thankful for this, but it was also like I had been rejected twice. Twice the humiliation, twice the pain, twice the depression. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that I had _wanted_ Mace to keep stalking me, but at least when he was, I had felt…desired.

It was during my trip to the grocery that I realized exactly how badly I had been rejected.

I was standing inside the store, waiting for the bus – there was a ton of snow on the ground, and my clumsiness was not a good match with snow and ice. I had resorted to riding the bus everywhere I went, and I didn't like it; I had always used walking as a means to keep in shape.

I caught a glimpse of a familiar pair of pants across the street. Don't laugh, those pants were very…eye catching. I couldn't help but stare. I tried not to, but it wasn't like there was anything better to keep my attention.

I watched Mace as he looked up and down the street expectantly. Within moments, I heard a car coming down the road. I looked toward the noise to see a pink VW Beetle, sporting a giant purple peace sign on the hood, heading in my direction. Suddenly, I heard 'Hey, Hey, We're the Monkees' coming from the horn.

The car stopped in front of Mace, and he made his way around to the driver's side door. He opened the door and a tiny girl stepped out. He bent down and kissed her on the cheek. She pulled him into a hug and I could see her smiling widely.

An eerie, uneasy feeling came over me. Both of them had moved on. Both of them had found someone else. Both of them had left me all alone. It wasn't that I expected more from Mace – obviously he had gotten what he came for, just like he said at the Halloween party – but I guess, when he claimed that he _loved_ me, I thought that he would at least fight a little more. He had said at the party that he was fighting and Edward was not, but that was the last I had heard from him. So was that the end of his fight? Surely, Bad Boy Cullen had more fight in him than that…right?

The tiny woman slipped her arm through his, and they started walking toward a nearby bistro. The bus pulled up and I darted straight for the door. I sat in the first seat I could find and kept my head down. I didn't want to see anymore examples of the affection I was no longer receiving from anyone.

* * *

_February 8, 2010_

I was leaving Lit class – still always the first one out the door – when a small woman approached me. She was a cute little thing. She had short, spiky black hair. A brown paisley silk scarf, tied at the side near the nape of her neck, held back her hair. Giant brown 'peace sign' earrings hung from her ears, and a matching necklace rested on her chest. Her shirt was a button-down, butterfly-collar, with huge bell sleeves in the same print as the scarf. She was wearing a tiered peasant skirt in a light brown wrinkle-type material which went all the way to the floor, with gold sequins separating each layer. She had on a pair of adorable brown suede sandals with wrap around ankle straps, which had feather and beaded tassel ends. I think she must have forgotten that there were ten inches of snow outside…

She held out her hand with a broad smile across her face. "Hello, Isabella! I'm Alice! Alice Whitlock. Nice to meet you."

I timidly shook her hand and cautiously grinned at her. "It's actually Bella. Bella Swan. Nice to meet you, too." I had no clue why this strange little woman came up to me out of nowhere and introduced herself to me, but I wasn't about to be rude to her.

"Would you like to join me for lunch? My treat!" She spoke slowly, but with a lot of enthusiasm, if that even made any sense.

"Um…" I pursed my lips, because honestly, I was almost afraid to go with her. Yeah, she may have been a good five inches shorter than me, and probably didn't even weigh a buck ten sopping wet, but who knew if she had a mob of equally wannabe hippie dudes waiting outside to kidnap me and take me to their nudist colony to be their Earth Goddess? "Suuure, I guess?" I didn't exactly mean for it to come out as a question, but I wasn't quite sure of my answer myself.

"Great! We are gonna be the best of friends!" _We are?_ She linked our elbows and started pulling me toward the door.

When we stepped outside, all of the puzzle pieces started to fall into place. We began walking toward the very same pink VW Beetle I had seen pull up in front of Mace on Saturday. _Alice_. Edward had told me their sister's name was Alice. So…why did she want to talk to me? And why did she think we would be the best of friends?

We hopped in her car and when she turned the key, Phish's 'Free' began filtering through the speakers.

_I'm floating in the Blympalot  
I feel the feeling I forgot  
Swimming weightless in the womb  
Bouncing gently round the room  
In a minute I'll be free  
And we'll be splashing in the sea_

We pulled up in front of Subway, and before she turned off the car, she quirked her eyebrow, asking, "This good?" I nodded, and she shut off the ignition.

Once we were inside and seated with our meals, she began talking. "So, I'm sure you are completely bewildered as to why I am here." I smiled in response. "Well, I think you have been…um…_subjected_ to a rather unfortunate situation with my brothers." My heart dropped at the mention of her brother. It didn't matter _which_ brother. It's like there was a string tied around my heart and at the mention of a Cullen, the string was yanked and my heart would instantly sink to the pit of my stomach. I thought I had been doing so well getting over _both_ of them for the past month, but one little sentence shot it all to hell.

"So…you, um, know about what happened then?" I asked her, not looking her in the eye. I wasn't sure if she thought I was a horrible person like Edward did, or heck, if she felt like Mace; that I was subconsciously asking for it.

"Yes, I do. I'm so sorry that Mace was an ass and caused you and Edward to break up. I truly am. I'm not here to sway your opinion in any way, but I thought it might help you with your decision making if you knew some things that I am sure you don't know yet."

_My decision making? What did I have to make a decision about?_

"You see, Mace is complicated. He doesn't mean to be the way he is. In fact, most of his plans to be a good guy…well, they backfire on him. His reputation precedes him, and most people won't even give him a chance to screw up before they just write him off as no good. No one understands him, not even…well, most _especially_, his twin. Ma and Pop lost hope that he even cared about the family years ago. I'm the only one who he has opened up to, and I am the only one who…well…_gets_ him. I know that what he did was wrong, but it shouldn't be unforgivable. In the grand scheme of things, it was really just a small pebble in the road, to be quite honest." She shrugged as if it really _was_ no big deal.

_Maybe she's just as mental as her delusional – incredibly sexy – brother.._

I couldn't help it; I just stood there, mouth agape and stared. She looked at me as if she was afraid I was going to blow a gasket.

"Are you freaking kidding me?" I said, approximately three octaves higher than necessary.

She smiled in a placating manner and answered, "Seriously, Bella. A kiss is not the end of the world. I know he tricked you into believing it –"

"A kiss? You think this is all over a kiss? My God…you're right. In the grand scheme of things, a kiss _would_ be a small pebble in the road. Did you really think this was all over a kiss?" I looked at her in shock.

Her smile morphed into a disappointed frown. I almost felt sorry for her. She looked as if she had just been told that Santa wasn't real. _Or maybe that Jim Morrison was dead…_

"Alice, I hate to break it to you…but if that's what Mace has told you, then he's playing you just like he played me. I could overlook a kiss. Heck, I could even overlook Halloween. But, no one…and I mean _NO ONE_ could overlook what he did on New Years. Especially not Edward. But, unfortunately, Edward can't forgive me, either," I said with a tear forming in my eye.

"Well, Bella…look, I know we just met, and you don't have a reason to trust me, but I am a very non-judgmental person. I can look at things from all angles without being biased to either party. This is why I have gotten so close to Mace – he needed someone to hear him out and understand him. But… do you think you could tell me all that happened? I would appreciate it so much. But, if… well, if you aren't comfortable, I totally understand. However, I'll be here for you, as your new BFF." She smiled brightly.

Talking to Alice was completely effortless, and she was incredibly easy to trust, so I found myself spilling my guts about the whole entire situation. All the way from the very first party where he left me in the dust.

When I started talking about Halloween she cut me off.

"Wait, Halloween. That night, Edward had come looking for me. He mentioned something about Mace, but he wasn't making sense."

"Yeah, I think… actually, I pretty much know, at this point, that Mace set that whole thing up."

The second I told her what he had said about my boots, she started shaking her head. I thought she was telling me to stop speaking, so I did.

"It was Mace, wasn't it? Edward would never disrespect you like that. Mace is such an asshole. I'm sorry, Bella. I wish I could have met you before this. I may not have thought to warn you – because who would have thought I would need to – but at least you would have known."

I was oddly at ease telling Alice the details of that night. I couldn't even tell Angela without staring daggers into my lap, and here I was, telling a perfect stranger – the sister of the culprit at that – these very personal details without a care in the world. It was peculiarly refreshing.

When I got to the part where his hand was at the hem of my panties, she shot up out of her chair, scaring the living daylights out of me. My eyes were as big as saucers and I was frozen in fear.

"Oh my God! That fucker! He lied to me. That son of a bitch!" she screeched. "Sorry, Ma, no offense to you," she added to no one in particular.

Right in the middle of Subway, Alice started pacing back and forth beside our table. If she was freaking out over that part of the story, I was scared to freaking death to tell her the rest of it.

She finally calmed down and sat back in her seat, telling me to continue. She rested her elbows on the table and placed her head in her palms, shaking it the entire time. Occasionally she would mumble something along the lines of, "I'm so sorry," or "I can't fix this," or "I should have known".

I continued through until I reached the point where Edward came walking in the door. I paused and, at that point, I could hear her sniffling.

She raised her head and wiped her face before she spoke. "Well, Edward can't exactly be angry at you for that. How were you to know? He didn't even bother to tell you he had a brother. It's not your fault. I'll talk some sense into that boy." She stopped suddenly and looked at me cautiously. "Unless… do you _want_ to get back with Edward? Mace had made it sound like you were conflicted as to who you wanted to be with… but then again, he also said that he only stole a kiss from you. I'm so sorry, Bella. So sorry. You don't even know how sorry I am. This would kill Ma and Pop." She hung her head, and I contemplated leaving it at that and not revealing the rest, but I figured that the moment she went to Edward with this bit of news, trying to convince him to not hold it against me – well, she would find out the whole thing and she might look at _me_ differently after that. Like I had purposely left out that part to make myself look better. Then and there I knew I had to tell her.

"Actually, Alice… it gets worse. Edward… um… he, uh, doesn't even know about Halloween yet."

I didn't get to finish my train of thought because she slammed her hands down on the table and nearly screamed, "What?" Her head had snapped up and her jaw was almost unhinged.

"Trust me… I tried to tell him. He kept cutting me off and telling me we would let bygones be bygones. He wouldn't even let me tell him what it was about."

She nodded. "Yeah, that sounds like Edward. Always the martyr. So… uh… _how_ exactly does this situation get worse?"

_That_ was the part I regretted having to tell her. But I had to do it, and so I did. Lucky for me, she figured out what had happened the minute I told her that Edward had called to leave early.

She gasped loudly, covering her mouth, and her eyes welling up with tears once again. "Please tell me he didn't. Tell me he didn't do that to you. Oh, God. Please tell me my brother isn't a sadistic asshole. What am I even saying? We wouldn't be having this conversation if that wasn't what happened."

We both sat quietly for a few more minutes, and then she finally spoke in a whisper. "Did he tell you right after or did he wait a while?"

I looked at her in confusion. "What do you mean, 'tell me'? Did who tell me what?"

Alice looked at me sadly. "When did Mace tell you it was him?"

I swallowed loudly. "Um… he, uh… didn't?" I didn't intend for it to come out as a question, but to be quite honest, I was afraid of how she would handle the words.

"He didn't what? I'm confused."

I began telling Alice what had happened the next morning, and the second she deduced the outcome, she bolted out of her seat like her pants were on fire. "I'm sorry to cut this short, Bella, but I need to kick someone's ass. Would you like for me to take you home?"

To be honest, I really wanted to see this tiny woman 'kick someone's ass' but I didn't know how to make this request without sounding like a creeper.

Apparently taking my lack of response as a negative, she said, "Actually, would you like to come with me? You can watch me rip him a new asshole." She then mumbled, "As if he's not a big enough one as it is."

We hopped in her Bug and this time, instead of driving at a leisurely pace as before, she was zipping through the streets like Speed Racer.

I gingerly made the comment, "I thought you were all love and peace…"

Without missing a beat she replied, "Oh, I am. I love Mace, therefore, I'm gonna go take a piece out of his ass." I started to laugh, but she didn't act like she meant it humorously, so I quickly just shut up.

She barreled into her driveway with lightning speed, shutting off the ignition and flinging her door open in one fell swoop. I hadn't even managed to unbuckle my seatbelt before she was opening the front door.

I could hear her all the way from the driveway. "Mace, you cocksucking asshole! You fucking lied to me!"

I could still hear her screaming, but I was racing to the door, because I didn't want to miss the Chihuahua taking on the Pit Bull. I stepped up to the door just in time to see her slap Mace across the face.

Mace jumped to his feet and towered over her. "What the fuck, Alice? What the hell is your problem?"

Across the room, a tall, lanky guy with dirty blond, wavy hair rose to his feet. He walked casually toward the chaos in the middle of the room. As he walked, I noticed he was wearing a tee-shirt with a giant cat's face, saying, 'Smile if you love cats'. I couldn't help but smile – even if I never had actually been a cat lover. A pair of tattered jeans with sporadic holes and paint splotches hung low on his hips. His bare feet padded across the floor, until he was close enough to reach out to Mace.

He put his hand on Mace's shoulder and spoke with a slow southern drawl. "Now, now, guys, calm down. Let's talk this out."

Alice stood up on the tips of her toes – which only accomplished putting her eye level with Mace's pecks – and yelled, "Talk it out? I can't talk to someone who lied to my fucking face! Why did you let me go talk to her to _defend your fucking honor_ when you didn't even give me all the details? I made myself look like a heartless bitch!"

Mace lowered his face within inches of hers and responded, "Well, you're sure living up to the 'bitch' part."

She drew back her fist, but before she even had it fully retracted, Mace's head spun to the right.

The lanky dude – who I was assuming was Jasper – had punched him so quickly it made _my_ head spin.

"You watch your mouth, Mace. She may be your sister, but she's my wife, and I won't let anyone disrespect her."

Mace turned back to Jasper and made to punch him in the face, but Jasper was quicker, and managed to block it, while simultaneously countering with a punch to the gut. Mace bent forward in response, and Jasper brought his knee up, making contact with Mace's face.

Mace stepped back a few feet to get his bearing. Jasper dropped his hands, apparently thinking Mace had had enough, so it caught him off guard when Mace plowed into him, knocking him to the floor.

Once they had taken it to the floor, it was an entanglement of limbs, and very difficult to tell who had the upper hand. When they shifted, so that Mace was hovering over Jasper, Alice tried to fling herself forward to intervene, but I caught her by the waist and pulled her back with me.

"Alice, let them go. All you will manage to do is get yourself hurt, and then Jasper will be distracted with your well-being, and Mace will get the upper hand. Just calm down. My dad is the police chief back home, and he said out of all the years he has been patrolling, he has noticed one thing: ninety percent of fights are won by the person in the right. We both know who's in the right this time, so have faith."

She quit squirming against me and we stood there watching in horror.

Mace had managed to get a few hits in, but Jasper was quicker and apparently stronger. He would get out of any hold Mace would put on him.

A few more punches and twists and turns, and Jasper managed to get behind Mace and wrap his arm around his neck and hold him in a rear naked choke. _Ah, it appears Jasper has taken some Jujitsu._

Mace tried to wriggle free, but Jasper just tightened his hold, nearly strangling him. "Dude, you won't get out of this, just submit and make it easier on yourself."

Finally, Mace relaxed and nodded as much as he could in his current position. Jasper relaxed his hold the slightest bit and asked him if he was going to behave himself. Mace agreed, so Jasper released him. They both stood up, and Jasper patted him on the back and chuckled.

"Let's not do that again anytime soon, alright bro?"

"Yeah, yeah. Sorry, man," Mace said, hanging his head.

_WOW!_ I had never in my life watched two guys fight and then instantly become friendly again.

Alice noticed my shock and explained, "It's Jasper. There's just something about him. People get around him and just like instantly calm down. I have to admit, though, I haven't ever gotten to see him use his moves on anyone before…it was pretty hot, huh?"

About that time, the guys noticed Alice was speaking to someone, so they turned to us. Jasper's face erupted in a huge smile. "You must be Bella, I've heard a lot about you. So nice to meet you!" _How had he heard a lot about me?_

As he reached out to shake hands, his shirt moved showing where it had been ripped. He then lowered his hands and pulled his shirt out, looking like he was about to cry. "Dude…this was my favorite shirt."

Alice started giggling. "It's okay, baby, Ma taught me how to sew. Go change and I'll fix it up for you."

Jasper smiled again, and he reached out his hand again. "Sorry about that, I got a bit distracted there. It's nice to meet you, Bella, I'm Jasper."

Alice was right. Something about Jasper just puts you at ease, making everything seem right in the world. Unfortunately, all _wasn't_ right in the world. Well, at least not in mine. It was at that moment that I remembered why we were there in the first place. I glanced over at Mace, where and he was standing with his head hanging in shame.

Jasper and Alice followed my gaze. Jasper cleared his throat and said, "Uh, I'm just gonna go change. I'll be right back." He looked at Alice and they seemed to share some sort of private conversation. He kissed her on the cheek and walked out.

Alice pulled me over to the couch and we sat down. Mace remained in the center of the room, staring forlornly at the floor.

"Mace… why? Why did you do that to Bella? Why did you lie to me? You made me think that there was a chance Bella wasn't sure who she wanted."

Mace's head snapped up. "There _is_ a chance! I see it in her eyes Al! She wants me, I can see it." He didn't sound angry or hateful. He sounded… desperate.

Alice shook her head. "No, Mace. She belongs with Edward. You need to realize this. She _loves_ Edward."

Mace and I both just stared at her in shock. I had felt like I loved Edward for quite some time, but the things I felt for Mace made me wonder about my true feelings. How could I love Edward if I had reactions toward Mace? And how could Alice know how I felt?

Mace sighed and choked out, "But… but I…" He looked me right in the eye and I could tell what he was getting ready to say, and I wasn't sure if I wanted to hear it again or not. A part of me wanted to believe that he wasn't capable of love, that he was infatuated. But then another part of me, a selfish part, wanted to hear it again because… well, because it made me _feel_ loved. But I didn't have to try to figure out if I wanted him to say it or not, because the next words out of his mouth were actually ten times worse. "It doesn't matter. If she loves Edward…" He swallowed and squeezed his eyes shut, looking as if he were in pain. "If you _truly_ love him, I'm done. I won't bother you anymore. I'm…I'm sorry." He opened his eyes and looked at me again. If I hadn't known better, I would've said he had tears in his eyes. "I really am sorry. I know I can't make things right, and I'm a selfish prick, but, for what it's worth…I didn't intend to hurt you. I don't _want_ to be a monster, I just sort of…am. I won't bother you anymore. I promise." He then turned on his heel and walked out the door.

Jasper walked back into the room and stopped, looking at Alice and me sitting there, both nearly in tears and he said, "Woah, who died?"

Alice took a pillow from the couch and threw it at Jasper, laughing sadly. "You're such a punk."

He caught the pillow and responded, "Yeah, but you love me anyway."

Walking toward the couch, Jasper said, "Okay, now you ladies tell me what happened…why y'all look like your cat died, and why I had to just put my brother-in-law in a choke hold. Not that I didn't enjoy it, but, it's not something I had intended to do."

Jasper sat down beside Alice and pulled her into his lap. Right about that time, a big fluffy grey cat came running into the living room and jumped up into their lap. Alice pulled the cat up to her face and started snuggling it. "It's okay, Nessie. That mean ole Mace is gone."

Jasper pinched her waist. "That's not very nice, my little darlin'. He's your brother, after all."

Alice kissed Nessie on the head and then laid her head on Jasper's shoulder. "He's an ass, is what he is. I can't believe him. He lied to me, Jazzy. I thought he was honest with me above everyone else. How much else has he lied to me about?"

"Why don't you tell me what happened, and we can figure out why he would have lied to you," Jasper suggested as he rubbed her knee with one hand and ran his fingers through her hair with the other. They were so cute together. You could tell they were very much in love. My heart broke watching them, not knowing if I would ever have that opportunity again. I had to look away in order to keep my sanity.

Alice started telling Jasper how we met today and went to eat. She told him how she had 'embarrassed herself' and she commenced to telling him my rendition of the story. I know I was six shades of red by the time she was finished. Jasper listened intently to the whole story, not interrupting once. I had to give it to the guy, for the way she rambled on and added every single detail, it's a wonder he hadn't dozed off, or in the very least rushed her to get to the point.

Once she finished, he sat there nodding for a moment.

"I can see why you are angry, but look at it from his side. He has always been the underdog when it comes to his brother. He has never felt like he belonged. He had never felt important to anyone else. Yes, he was very wrong doing what he did, I'm not taking up for the guy in the least, but for that briefest moment, he deluded himself into thinking that he could be loved as much as Edward. The boy is hurt and lost and alone. He's calling out for help… to someone, anyone. He's doing it in all the wrong ways, yes, but right now, he needs someone to be there for him. He needs someone to be on his side instead of against him like he's used to."

Jasper looked over at me sadly. "I'm sorry that you were pulled into this, Bella. I really hate that this has happened to you, and, of course, Edward. I really hope things are able to be fixed between you two, I honestly do. Edward is the one everyone seems to have forgotten about in this situation. He has been hurt from both directions. I don't mean any disrespect, sugar, but even though you didn't intend to, you _did_ hurt him." He held up his hands defensively. "I know it wasn't your fault, and I would never blame you for it, but if you look at it from his point of view, you can see how he has to feel. Everyone wants to believe that the person they love would be able to point out their touch… their kiss even if they were blindfolded. But the fact of the matter is, that's simply not true. And even though _we_ can see how easily you would be tricked, he simply can't see it yet. _YET_. Hopefully he's not so absorbed in self-pity that he will miss the opportunity to figure this out before it's too late."

Tears had started trailing down my face. I knew he was right. I knew Edward was hurting, but during all of this, I just felt sorry for myself and for the fact that I had something stolen from me and I had been tricked. But Edward was the one who was hurt the most in all of this. He was hurt by both his brother _and_ his girlfriend. I needed to make things right. I needed to repair our relationship. If Mace really meant what he said, and he was conceding, I would be able to totally focus on Edward and fixing what we once had. That would be my sole mission. I would do whatever it would take to get him back.

Jasper patted Alice's knee and yearningly said, "Now, how about some sandwiches, little darlin'?"

**Only four more chapters my bbs. I'd love to hear your theories on how this is going to wrap up *grin***

**I'll give you a teaser for a review, as usual, but I'll give you an extra teaser if you tell me what you think is going to happen *snicker* (btw, the ending has already been written, so no one will be influencing me either way!)**

**Also, I have an AU fic that isn't getting as much love as this one, and I'd really love if you went over and checked it out! It's my new baby! :D**


	17. Operation Spock Knows Best

Klingon kisses and Halkan hugs to my LC – Alitriona/Eila, Allysue08, Rags88, Revrag, Shereebedee, Spellboundagain, and WhatObsession17! Thanks for sticking with me through all of this guys! I know it's been exceptionally rough on some of you *cough* (LOL!)

This past weekend, SM sold me the rights to all of her characters, so I don't have to put up a disclaimer anymore!

Psh, I wish!

**Operation Spock Knows Best**

_February 14, 2010_

It was Sunday, and I had started doing laundry on Sundays since Edward and I had started dating. However, on this Sunday, I had forgotten to get detergent, so I needed to catch a bus to Walmart before I started my weekly monotony. I stepped out into the bitter cold and shivered. Lucky for me, it wasn't snowing, just utterly freezing.

I walked two blocks to the bus stop and just before I crossed the street, I caught sight of Edward. He was facing me, but not looking in my direction. No, he was looking at his sweet little class buddy who was standing in front of him. He was smiling and I could tell she was laughing. I couldn't pull my eyes away, no matter how hard I tried.

I rubbed my eyes, half hoping I had imagined him being there, but when I opened them again, sure enough he was still there and still with her. He was no longer smiling, but looking at her in such a way it looked… tender. Slowly, he lifted his hand to her face and gently brushed his thumb across her cheek and smiled crookedly as he said something I couldn't quite make out. _I should have learned to read lips. Actually, no, that might hurt even worse._

I started to turn away from the sight before me, which had just reminded me of it being Valentine's Day and how everyone had a 'valentine' and I didn't. Just before I turned away, a very handsome guy walked up to the two of them and slipped his arm around the girl's waist. My mouth dropped opened.

The girl turned to him and wrapped him in a tight embrace. She then twisted around and motioned between the man and Edward, obviously introducing them. They shook hands and nodded, exchanging some form of verbal greeting.

The three of them spoke for another brief moment and the couple walked away. Edward nervously rubbed the back of his neck, and I could tell he was blushing. He bit his lip and glanced over at me quickly before he scuttled away.

_What just happened?_

_Was Edward trying to… was he trying to make me jealous? That's not possible. Is it?_

Maybe… just maybe. Maybe there _was_ still hope for us.

* * *

_February 20, 2010_

I was sitting in my room, alone, as I did most weekends now that Angela had a very active life with Ben, and I had a very inactive life with… well, myself. I wasn't in the mood to read, so as a rare occurrence, I started flipping through the channels on the television. I stopped when I realized Star Trek was on.

Even though everything Star Trek related made me think of Edward, I wasn't about to deny myself some trekkie indulgence.

Within minutes, I recognized the episode. It was 'The Enemy Within' from season one, where two Captain Kirks were beamed up to the Enterprise – one evil, one good.

Dr. McCoy: "_Jim... you're no different than anyone else. We all have our darker side. We need it! It's half of what we are. It's not ugly. It's human. Human." _

We all have our darker side. Yes, we do. I had never thought I could hide anything from someone I loved, but I had. I had hidden something very important from Edward.

Mace let his darker side control most of his actions, but I had seen a few instances where the good, sweet side shined through. Maybe only momentarily, but it did – I was certain.

Mr Spock: "_Yes. Always, Doctor. We have here an unusual opportunity to appraise the human mind, or to examine, in Earth terms, the roles of good and evil in a man: his negative side, which you call hostility, lust, violence, and his positive side, which Earth people express as compassion, love, tenderness."_

I had seen all of those in Mace. Every single one. I had only briefly seen the negative side of Edward, but it would have to exist. Would he always be controlled by his positive side, or would he maybe one day be like his twin and allow his negative side to control him? I honestly couldn't see Edward turning to the 'dark side' under any circumstance. _But maybe Mace wouldn't have if circumstances had been different._

Scott: "_A few seconds after they sent this one up through the transporter, that duplicate appeared. Except it's not a duplicate. It's an opposite. Two of the same animal, but different. One gentle: this. One mean and fierce: that. Some kind of savage, ferocious opposite."_

I turned off the television. I knew then what I needed to do. I powered up my laptop to reserve my tickets.

There was a Star Trek Convention coming to Massachusetts the following week. I had known about it, but also knowing that Edward wouldn't be caught dead missing it, I had decided to skip it. But now I had a plan. I was fairly certain if I could ever convince Edward to forgive me, this would be the way to do it. I had nine days to prepare, research, and rehearse. I could only hope that when the time came, I wouldn't crack under pressure.

* * *

_March 1, 2010_

I had prepared myself as best as possible, and most likely more than enough, but I was still feeling horribly anxious and even more so afraid it was all for naught. The proverbial "Custer's Last Stand" in which I would be engaging later that evening had my stomach in knots. My life would change one way or another after that night. I would either have to accept that I would never have a chance with Edward again, or I would be able to try again, and hopefully do it right.

I had spoken to Alice and Jasper after I had made my decision. Alice and her 'all knowing wisdom' as she liked to put it, _knew_ this was going to work. She didn't _think,_ or _hope_ it was going to work. No, she _knew_. I laughed when she said that. She didn't laugh. Jasper had given me a look that said, 'doubt not the little Flower Child if you intend to live', so I pretended to believe. I wished I could be as positive as she was, but it just wasn't going to happen.

Angela was adamant that Alice knew what she was talking about, even though, oddly enough, Angela had never met her.

Being a bundle of nerves, and never having an extreme amount of confidence anyway, I planned to go to AA. That's Alice and Angela's School of Makeover, for those of you who didn't know.

Angela grabbed her bag of 'necessities' and an outfit I wasn't allowed to see until T minus twenty minutes. Yes, not seeing the outfit increased my nerves exponentially. Yes, her goofy talk like I was about to blast-off had me seeing all the wrong images. More specifically, the Challenger exploding. Alice was waiting out front to take us back to her place, where we would have a significantly larger area to work with.

I had my notecards tucked securely into my coat pocket. I highly hoped that they would be able to remain in my pocket and not have to be relied on in the convention, but with the current condition of my nerves at that time, I hadn't been too optimistic. I begged the world, just this one time, to not be out to get me, and allow me to at least only need them as a guide and not in their entirety.

Angela and Alice hit it off immediately. Apparently, Angela was repressing her own Flower Child tendencies, and decided it was extremely gratifying to live vicariously through Alice. The two were quite a pair, speaking in a language obviously only they could understand. I was happy to remain oblivious in my own little non-flowery bubble.

I relaxed and let them have their way with me as I mentally practiced my lines. My fingers and toes were filed, buffed, and painted. My hair was teased and curled and teased some more. (I was certain I would forever have a tender head after that night). My eyebrows were plucked, which helped to take my mind off the scalp pain, since that was significantly worse. It even caused my freaking eyes to water.

Finally, the official countdown had begun and I was able to put on my clothes. I had hoped and prayed that she respected my unspoken, but not unknown, wishes of keeping it toned down. When Angela unzipped the garment bag, I was ecstatic. So much so, that I even jumped up and gave her a back-breaking hug. Alice instantly pulled me off, telling me I was going to ruin my perfect hairdo.

The two of them helped me get dressed and I stood in front of the full-length mirror. Angela had picked out my favorite business attire of hers. It was a cornflower blue pant suit that she matched with an Egyptian blue silk button-down. She had a pair of two-inch pumps in the exact same shade of Egyptian blue. I had always admired the look on Angela, and if I looked half as magnificent as she did, I would die happy.

Looking at my reflection, I was astounded. They had managed to make me elegant, sophisticated, and beautiful. I stood tall and proud and was actually a tiny bit excited to confront Edward if nothing else but to show off my makeover.

As I took a deep breath and steeled myself to leave, Alice stood in front of me, hands on my shoulders and spoke authoritatively. "You are a strong, independent woman."

"I am?" I asked.

Angela and Alice both said, "Yes, you are."

Alice tightly hugged my waist and whispered, "Go get him, tiger."

I hopped into a cab and told the driver the address of the convention center. He looked oddly at me and made no move to drive away. I raised an eyebrow at him in question.

"I'm sorry, but, you _do_ realize it's a Star Trek convention, right?"

"Uh… yeah, I have my tickets right here. What? You don't think women like Star Trek?" I asked defensively.

He held up a hand. "Oh no, no, no! I didn't mean it like that, honest! It's just that… well, people that go to these conventions are usually in character. And by that I mean _IN_ character, like Spock or a Klingon or –"

I cut him off with a boisterous laugh. "Yes, I know. I am on a mission that doesn't involve costumes, though. I'm going to win back my trekkie man, come hell or high water. I hope William Shatner is going to help me do it."

"Well, good luck to you, ma'am. I really hope it works out for you. If he's a trekkie and you go all out to show your love at a trekkie convention, he'd be stupid to deny you." He smiled and pulled away from the dormitory.

Forty-five minutes later we finally completed the twenty minute drive. "It's a good thing you thought ahead and left way too early," the driver said as we came to a stop.

"Yeah… except I was hoping to get here in time to relax and calm my nerves. Maybe this is for the best." I grabbed a wad of cash and handed it across the seat to him. "Thanks so much for getting me here safely and as quickly as traffic would allow."

"No problem, ma'am. Good luck with that man of yours. If he turns you down, he doesn't deserve you," he said smiling.

I closed the car door and turned to begin my walk of shame while praying it wasn't in vain.

The center was packed, so my plan to hide out in the back until the question and answer panel at the end of the evening, was easy to accomplish. I made sure to always stand behind a few taller men on the off chance that Edward would happen to look around the room; I didn't want him to see me before the appropriate time.

* * *

Even though I enjoyed everything going on around me, the time had seemed to just creep by. Finally, the panel room opened, and those who had bought tickets were being asked to convene. I kept my eye on the door, watching for Edward to enter. I wanted to enter after him so as to avoid him seeing me. I knew he wouldn't miss that panel. It consisted of all of his favorite Star Trek actors.

I finally saw him go through, so I waited five more minutes before I slipped in. I quietly slid into the back row and waited.

Several questions were asked, but I wasn't paying a lot of attention. I was simply awaiting the perfect opportunity to unleash my ultimate weapon in Operation Spock Knows Best.

Eventually, I found my chance, so once I was called on, I took my place at the microphone. I had my cards in hand, but was still hoping I wouldn't have to use them.

"Um… hello, I um… I actually have a bit of an elaborate question, so if you could bear with me, that would be great." I swallowed thickly and began my well rehearsed speech. "In the episode, 'The Enemy Within', Captain Kirk was beamed up as two parts – one evil and one good. No one recognized the animalistic Kirk until he behaved differently. Yeoman even argued with the good Kirk regarding it truly being him who had behaved badly. Even after the captain warns the crew about his evil self, the evil Kirk was able to deceive them once again. So, my question to you is, how easy would it be for a pair of identical twins to deceive someone close to one of them?"

I took a deep breath and prepared myself for their answer, hoping it would back my argument, but I had a rebuttal just in case. However, I was not prepared for what happened next.

"Excuse me, sirs, but I'd like to make an argument, if you don't mind," Edward spoke up.

Mr. Shatner nodded and motioned for him to take the microphone on the other side of the room.

Edward stepped to the mic and began, "Can I first just say what an honor it is to meet you guys face to face? I know every single episode by heart. I am one of your biggest fans." The panel thanked him and he then continued, never once even looking to me. "In that episode, the captain was essentially split in two, his good side, and his evil side, therefore, how can any hypothesis be made about identical twins based on this? Identical twins being two _separate_ people?"

Okay, so I would use my rebuttal on Edward himself. "Okay, I can see the point in this instance, however, there was also the episode, 'What are Little Girls Made Of?' we have a very similar situation, but a bit more complex and more along the lines of twins. In that episode, Nurse Chapel hears her fiancé, Dr. Korby and looks at the captain explaining, 'have you ever been engaged? I know that is Roger'. Once she sees him, she kisses and embraces him and all throughout the episode, she never doubts him once. She is also deceived by the android Captain Kirk, but that isn't as relevant as the deceit by her fiancé. So, again, my question is, in your opinion, how plausible is it for identical twins to trick someone who…" my voice started to shake as I said the rest of the sentence, "loves one of them?" I tried to hold it together, but I felt a lone tear trail down my cheek as I admitted to the world my love for Edward.

I wasn't even sure which panel member began answering the question, because I had turned from the podium and started back toward my seat, contemplating just leaving the building entirely. After all was said and done, I wasn't as confident with my decision. Why I had thought speaking my thoughts in front of a bunch of complete strangers would win Edward over, I would never know. It was juvenile and naïve to think something so audacious would grant my forgiveness after two months of disregard.

However, before I had reached the exit door, I heard something I hadn't heard for far too long.

"Umbella."

My heart stuttered and I gasped. Had I really heard it or had I been hoping so strongly that I imagined it? I slowly turned back around. The room was completely silent. I knew all eyes were on me, but the only ones I registered were the jade green ones across the room, that were looking pleadingly at me.

"Say it again?" he begged.

I took a deep breath. Could I say it again? Especially with the attention of the entire room?

_That depends on how important the man in front of you is._

In that moment, I decided I didn't care who knew how I felt. I didn't care who approved or who didn't. I didn't care who laughed or made fun. This was about Edward and how much I loved him and how much I wanted to prove that he was the only one for me. Forever.

I spoke loud enough for the whole room to hear. "I love you, Edward. Only you. I'm so sorry. But I can't take it back. You are the only man I will ever love. I swear this to you." It also became apparent to me, in that moment, that the entire room would also know my dirty laundry – that I had, in fact, been tricked by a twin – but it still didn't matter to me.

"I love you, too, Bella. I love you, too. I have from the very beginning," he choked out.

The room erupted with applause, and Edward began making his way to me through the crowd. Once he reached me, he wrapped his arms around me and kissed me passionately. I kissed him back with all of the emotion my heart contained.

I heard one of the panel members say, "Now, there's a match made in Vorta Vor.*"

* * *

After the convention, Edward offered for us to share a cab back to campus.

With Edward's fingers threaded through mine, I turned to him in the back seat of the cab. "I know I have made some awful mistakes, and I'm so sorry. Can we start over again?"

Edward hung his head and said, "I'm afraid not."

My heart sank and I could feel the tears start to well up in my eyes. I knew it was too good to be true. I knew he couldn't forgive me.

Ducking his head, to bring himself to my eye level, Edward smirked and said, "I can't go back to not touching you again, Bella. I can't go back to being shy and awkward again. Now that I know what it's like to kiss you, touch you, feel you… I can't deny myself that anymore. These last two months have been pure torture. I can't go another day without being able to feel you again."

I wrapped my arms around his neck and sobbed into his shoulder. "I'm so sorry, Edward. I love you. I love you, so much."

Edward squeezed me tightly. "I love you, too, Bella. So very much."

* * *

I came clean with Edward that night. I told him everything that had happened between Mace and me. I told him about the stalking, the phone calls, the texts, and the picture. I told him about every lie I had told to cover up my wrongdoings.

He was more forgiving than I anticipated, or even deserved. He was hurt beyond belief, but said he had been just as much at fault for keeping his brother's identity a secret. I wouldn't let him take responsibility for my lies and deceit, even though he repeatedly told me that he knew the things Mace had been capable of, and could have avoided it if I had known in advance. Of course, I had to reluctantly remind him of the ultimate deception Mace had accomplished even once I had been fully aware of him and his capabilities.

Edward then decided we would just come to a truce, forgiving and forgetting what had transpired in the past, but promised to be completely forthcoming from that day forward.

* * *

_March 2, 2010_

We walked into the coffee shop hand in hand to find Alice already seated in our spot. She had asked us to meet her after class, saying something about officially meeting Edward's girlfriend 'under the right circumstances' or something.

"You go have a seat, I will place our order," Edward whispered in my ear just before he kissed my neck.

Alice stood up, embracing me in a hug as soon as she saw me. "Bella, it's so good to see you again. You look so much better. Love is a good look for you, you know," she said giggling.

Alice and I spoke for a few minutes as we waited for Edward to return with our lunch. However, just before Edward returned, the bell on the front door rang, and out of reflex, I looked to see who was walking in.

_Mace_.

He looked awful. His eyes were bloodshot. His hair still had product in it, but you could tell he had been tugging on it with his hands; it was in complete disarray – and not in the sexy manner Edward's was in. His clothes were a wrinkled mess, and he obviously hadn't shaved for over a week.

Looking right at me, Mace walked toward our corner. Right at that moment, Alice looked over and caught sight of Mace and gasped.

"Mace! You look awful! What's going on?" She went to stand up, but he reached in his jacket pocket and pulled out a gun.

"Don't move!" he screamed with a raspy voice.

Alice sat back down, but continued to speak softly. "Mace, you don't want to do this. Put the gun down. We can talk about this."

"NO! There is no talking! He stole her from me! She's mine! She doesn't love him! She loves me! She wants me, not him! He's trying to steal her. Like he did Mom and Dad. He stole them from me. They loved him more than me. He's trying to make Bella do the same thing. She loves _ME_, not him!" Mace was screaming, and the whole room had stilled and everyone was staring right at him.

He turned toward me, pleading with his eyes. "Isabella. Can't you see? I'm doing this for you. I know you don't want to hurt him. Now, you don't have to. I love you, and I know you love me, too."

The next thing happened in both slow motion and faster than comprehensible. Mace grabbed me by the wrist and mumbled something about running away with him forever. As he started to pull me to my feet, Edward rushed toward us growling for Mace to let me go.

In one swift motion, Mace jerked toward Edward, startled by the sudden movement, and pulled the trigger.

Alice and I both screamed as Edward slumped to the floor.

* * *

****Wanna know what's been going on with Edward during this whole time that he 'wasn't fighting for Bella'? Hop over to my outtakes and see ;) He has a lot to tell you****

*(For the non-Trekkies) The mythical, idyllic place embodied by Vorta Vor was a concept shared by many species and which had many names among various alien cultures. Sybok believed that a powerful benevolent entity existed there, which he called "God", and that all life had originated there.

These videos are also available on my profile.

-'The Enemy Within' www(dot)cbs(dot)com/classics/star_trek/video/index(dot)php?pid=

-'What Little Girls Are Made Of'

www(dot)youtube(dot)com/watch?v=ZT2Xe5J5UgM

**Thank you so much for reading! I'd love to know how you are feeling right now!**

**Remember, if you review my outtake (so I know it's being read) I will give you an extra teaser for next week**!


	18. O Brother, Where Art Thou?

*****Please read this!*****

There were a few people who were confused by the last chapter.

Mace did **NOT** shoot Edward on purpose!

He was startled and he accidentally pulled the trigger.

Mace is crazy, but he's not a murderer :(

Thanks again to my LC – Alitriona/Eila, Allysue08, Rags88, Revrag, Shereebedee, Spellboundagain, and WhatObsession17! I love you guys so freaking much! It's not even right! Virtual chocolate kisses and cotton candy hugs to you all!

SM owns (all except Mace)

**O Brother, Where Art Thou?**

_March 2, 2010 continued_

_**In one swift motion, Mace jerked toward Edward, startled by the sudden movement, and pulled the trigger.**_

_**Alice and I both screamed as Edward slumped to the floor.**_

"Oh fuck! Fuck, fuck, fuck," Mace started muttering, still holding onto my wrist.

Trying to jerk away from him, I wailed, "Help him! You can't leave him! Call an ambulance, Alice. Help him!"

Mace started pulling me toward the door. I struggled and tried to twist my arm out of his grasp, but he only pulled harder. "We have to go. We have to get away. They're gonna come. We can go away, Isabella. We can be together and not have to worry about anyone."

"I'm not going anywhere with you! Let go of me! You killed him! You killed your brother! You're a sick bastard! Let me go!" I screamed at the top of my lungs.

Sirens were approaching in the distance. Mace started pulling me harder toward the exit. "Gotta hurry. They're coming. We have to get out of here."

I continued to fight against him, hoping to stall him enough for the police to interfere, but he was just too strong. He pulled me out the door completely. I could hear Alice in the background screaming between begging Mace to let me go and pleading for Edward to stay with her.

Three police cars came squealing around the corner, slamming to a stop in front of the shop. One officer immediately jumped out, with his gun aimed right at us. "DROP YOUR WEAPON AND GET ON THE GROUND! NOW!"

Mace mumbled in my ear, "They won't hurt you, Bella. I won't let them touch you. Don't be scared. I'll protect you. I can take care of you. I won't ever let anyone hurt you."

I pleaded with him, "Mace, please. Drop the gun. You don't want to do this. Drop the gun. We can get you help. Please don't do this."

"Help? Is that what you think I want? I don't need help! Why does everyone think I need help? I don't need help. I just need you, Isabella. We just need each other and everything will be okay. I don't need help. Doctors just get in the way. They interfere. We can just get away from everyone. I love you, Bella."

"Release the hostage and drop your weapon!" another officer shouted. Or maybe the same one, I honestly didn't know.

"Hostage? I don't have a hostage. They think I'm holding you hostage?" Mace asked in disbelief. He looked toward the police and said, "She's my girlfriend, she's not a hostage. We just want to get out of here. Just leave us alone."

_Girlfriend? Oh my God, this guy is delusional…_

"Let go of the girl, and we can talk about what you want. You don't want to do this, son," an officer said.

"Please, Mace. Let me go. I will tell them to let us go far away. Let me go talk to them," I begged him. I hoped that he was delusional enough that he would let me go so I could 'tell them to let us go'.

"We just need to go. We need to get away from here. I can get us some money. We can go far, far away. I'll take care of you, Isabella. We can have a life together. This is all Edward's fault. He made me do it. He wouldn't back off. He wouldn't butt out. It's his fault. He should have left us alone." Mace was still holding me by the wrist, but he didn't have me pulled close to him. I was pretty sure I could garner enough of my stored information for the best technique to free myself from his grasp.

I thought about it for a brief moment and then several moves came to me at once. I went with the most successful technique my dad had taught me. I lifted my right leg and slammed my heel down onto the dorsal of his foot. The instant my foot came in contact with his and he called out, I jerked my hand out of his, elbowed him in the gut, and darted back through the door and inside.

I ran straight to Edward. Alice was bent over his lifeless form, holding him and sobbing loudly. I dropped to my knees to assess the situation, but no sooner than I reached forward did I hear three consecutive gunshots outside.

Alice squalled as she buried her face in Edward's chest. "No! NO! NOOOOOO! I can't lose both of my brothers!" Alice bawled as she chanted Edward's name repeatedly.

Paramedics stormed into the building, trying to remove us from the scene without hurting either of us. "Ladies, we need to get in here. We will do our best to help him. Please step aside." One of them gently guided me to the side in order to get to Edward.

"My brother… Outside… Who… The shots… Were they? Oh God. Did they shoot him? Oh my God. Mace!" Alice covered her face with her hands as she wept loudly, but never left her brother's side.

A female police officer put her hand on Alice's shoulder. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. Is there someone you'd like to call?"

Alice looked at me, and for the briefest moment I was afraid she would lash out at me. This was all my fault. If I had never come to Massachusetts, Edward and Mace both would be alive.

But I should have known Alice better than that. She lunged at me, wrapped her arms around my shoulders and sobbed violently. "I should have known. I should have seen. He was closest to me, how could I not see? He was crying out. I should have known. I should have seen."

"Alice, God, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry." She had every right to hate me for everything.

"You couldn't have known, Bella. Mace was sick. He needed help. You couldn't have known. It's so sad. I'm just so sorry you were pulled into the middle of all of this. I'm so sorry." Alice squeezed me as she cried harder.

"Alice…" I choked out. "You need to call your parents. They need to know."

"Oh God! This will kill Mom. I can't do it. Oh God! Why did this have to happen?" She pulled away just enough to grab her phone and dial the number. Less than ten seconds later, she twisted her fingers in my shirt as she croaked, "Mom?"

* * *

We followed the ambulance to the hospital. The officers had tried to get a statement from us, but I screamed in their face that they could have a little respect and wait until Alice found out if her brother was going to make it.

We hadn't been able to see how extensive Edward's injuries were, but there was blood everywhere, so it didn't appear to be good. As we had exited the building, Alice had noticed a black zipped bag lying adjacent to the entrance, obviously containing a body and she screamed bloody murder. The officer jumped in front of her, preventing her from opening the bag and causing herself more duress. I then pulled her toward her car promising her we would hurry to the hospital so she could be by Edward's side. This had seemed to placate her enough to drag her away from Mace.

The entire ride to the hospital, Alice sat in the passenger seat sobbing, and I replayed the scene over and over trying to figure out how I could have prevented it from happening. The only thing I could come up with was to have never gotten involved with the Cullen brothers in the first place. Their family would surely hate me. I had ruined everything. It was entirely my fault.

My insides felt as if they had been ripped out and run through a blender. I couldn't even comprehend what had happened. I kept thinking I would wake up and it would have all been a bad dream, but I wasn't that lucky. None of us were that lucky.

Jasper was able to make it to the hospital mere seconds after us. I had texted him with Alice's phone after she spoke to Mr. and Mrs. Cullen. I knew she was going to need a bit more comfort than I could provide, and if anyone could come through, it would be Jasper.

He grabbed Alice and held her tightly, allowing her to put her full weight against him. Suddenly, I found myself extremely envious of the solace Alice found in the man she loved.

_Because the man I love could be dying this very second and I have no one to console me…_

_

* * *

_

It wasn't long before the doctor came out and told Alice that Edward hadn't been fatally shot; he had merely been shot in the shoulder and he would be fine. He had only passed out from shock, not injury. He was even going to get to go home the next day.

"Bella, I can't tell him about Mace alone, will you please come with me?" Alice asked. "I think he could use your support as well."

I looked at her in amazement. "I don't think he will want my support, Alice, it's all my fault this happened. He probably will never want to see me again."

"Nonsense, Bella. Mace has had problems for a long time, and the family just chose to sweep it under the rug, probably thinking he would outgrow it or something. It's no one's fault, Bella. Well, if it _was_ anyone's fault, it would be ours for not seeing that he was crying for help. Regardless, I know Edward will want you to hold his hand through this." She didn't really give me an option at that point; she simply pulled me in the direction of his room, with Jasper silently trailing behind.

Alice pushed me through the door first. As soon as he laid eyes on me, Edward gasped and held up his arm – the one that wasn't in a sling. "Oh, Bella! I'm so glad you are okay! I was so worried. Come here," he said, frantically waving his hand.

Before I made my way to his bed, I glanced at Alice for reassurance. She smiled sadly and nodded her head. I curled up into Edward's side, burying my face against his chest. I couldn't look him in the eye; I would lose it right then and there.

"Hey, Al. Hey, Jazz, thanks for coming, man. It's good seeing ya," Edward said cheerfully.

"No problem, man. You know I'm here for ya," Jasper replied softly as he sat in the chair closest to the window.

Alice dubiously sat on the edge of the bed, placing her hand on Edward's knee. "There's uh… something I need to talk to you about, Bub. I seriously would wait until a better time, but… uh, well… Mom and Dad are coming in tonight, so I might as well get it out before they get here."

I had turned my head slightly in order to watch Alice as she spoke, but I still held on to Edward's gown as if my life depended on it.

Alice looked at me and then lowered her head to stare at her hand as she rubbed circles on his knee. "Well, um… after you, uh… well, after Mace shot you…" I wasn't looking at Edward, but I could feel him tense as she mentioned Mace. "Well… um… Mace freaked out and took Bella hostage, leading her outside."

Edward quickly grabbed my chin and pulled me up to look at him. "Oh my God, Bella, are you okay? Did he hurt you?" He started checking my arms apprehensively. I squeezed my eyes shut. Of course he would have to worry about me. The universe made sure that I had to feel as awful as possible.

"Bella's fine. Mace didn't get far with her. He um…" Alice inhaled a quick, shaky breath. "Edward, Mace is gone. He… he lost it, and the cops came… and… Oh God, Edward. He's gone, Edward. Mace is gone." Tears were trailing swiftly down her cheeks.

Edward was shaking. No, shaking was an understatement. He was violently trembling. "He… what… wait. What do you mean, 'he's gone'? Gone where? To jail? What… what do you mean, Al?"

Alice shook her head and her lip started quivering. Tears poured from her eyes faster than she could wipe them away. "He's… he's dead. He wouldn't drop the gun. They told him to drop the gun. He wouldn't drop it."

I realized at that moment that we never found out who had fired the shots – whether the police shot Mace for not dropping the weapon, or whether he turned the gun on himself. Either way, he was gone and he wasn't coming back. My heart was ripped in two at the thought. Yes, it was more important to me that Edward be safe and sound, but Mace was his brother, and I knew it would be a difficult road for him to go down. And I would have given anything to take the pain from him.

"Oh my God! He… he's… oh shit. Mom's probably freaking out. Oh my God… I can't… I can't believe this. Why?" Edward had started sobbing, but he still didn't release me from his hold, so I continued to hold him and cry into his side. I kept waiting for him to realize it was all my fault and shove me off the bed. However, at that moment, he did the exact opposite. He pulled me tighter into his arms and kissed my temple. "I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry."

I pulled back to look him in the eye. _What in the hell?_ "What are _you_ sorry for? If anyone should be sorry, it's me," I choked out.

He looked at me questioningly, with tears still trailing down his cheeks. "Why? Oh my God, Bella. You were pulled into the middle of this. Why should you be sorry?"

_Was he serious? This was __**all**__ because of me_.

Alice piped up. "Look, no one is to blame in this mess. And that's exactly what it is. An awful mess. Mace needed help. It's no one's fault. We can all sit here and wonder what we could have done differently to save him, but the truth is, without medical help, Mace would have probably still ended up this way. It's awful, but true."

Sometime during the conversation, Jasper had come to Alice's side and wrapped his arm around her waist. As she spoke those words, he pulled her closer and kissed the top of her head. She turned and sobbed into his chest, crying that it just wasn't fair.

A short time later, Jasper and Edward convinced Alice to go home and get some rest. The police had contacted us and asked us to be at the station around five that evening, so the guys thought she needed a break before that happened. We both knew it would completely drain us to rehash the details of the events that had taken place, but it had to be done, so it was best if done after some much needed rest.

Once they left, I made to get up, but Edward held me tight. "Please don't go. Unless… unless you don't want to be here. I mean, you can go if you need to, but… well, I'd really like you to stay, if… if you don't mind?"

How could I refuse?

* * *

When we made our statement to the police that evening, they let us know that they did, in fact, have to open fire on Mace because he had been waving the gun around like a madman. They had told him to drop his weapon – even firing a warning shot – but when he refused, and his arms were flailing about, they had to open fire. They had tried for a non-fatal shot, but with his being a moving target, it hadn't worked out the way they had hoped.

As we were leaving, Alice mumbled, "It's better that way. Mace wasn't a quitter. He wouldn't have liked to be remembered as one. He went down fighting… just like he lived his life. It was better this way." As awful and horrible as the situation was… yeah, I could totally see why she felt that way.

I didn't go back to the hospital after I left the police station. I told Edward he needed some rest and time with his parents who were coming in around eight-thirty. I was meeting with him the day after he was being released.

When I stepped into my dorm room, Angela jumped from her desk and tackled me with a hug. "I'm so sorry, Bella! Oh my gosh, it's so awful! I'm so glad you are alright! Edward's okay? Gosh, I can't believe this happened. It's so sad. So incredibly sad. I'm so sorry you had to go through that, hun."

Even though I had texted Angela earlier and told her briefly what had happened, I had to give her a more detailed recap of what had taken place. The entire time she gasped and sobbed and shook her head. It all seemed so unreal.

After my recount of the horrible events of the day, I could barely keep my eyes open. It was barely nine o'clock, but I was exhausted and decided to go to sleep. It wasn't until I was almost asleep that I remembered I hadn't eaten a bite all day.

* * *

_March 3, 2010_

I had barely opened my eyes when I immediately felt the need to vomit. I didn't even have time to make it to the bathroom, so I grabbed the trash can near my bed. I wasn't even sure how I was able to expel anything since I hadn't eaten the day before, but I heaved for a good ten minutes before I stopped.

I raised up, grabbed a tissue to wipe my mouth and noticed Angela awake in her bed. "I'm sorry, Angela, I didn't mean to wake you. I couldn't make it to the bathroom."

Angela smiled sweetly at me. "I was already awake, Bella, it's okay. But… well, I'm kinda worried about you. Are you sure everything's okay?"

I quirked an eyebrow and said, "Well, except for the fact that I watched a gun fight yesterday, yeah, I'm pretty fine." I snorted.

"What I mean is… well… is there any chance… are you… do you think you could be pregnant?"

_WHAT?_

"What? Oh my God, no! Why in the world would you think that? There's no way I'm pregnant, Angela." I scoffed.

"Well, Bella, it's just… I've been noticing things. I wasn't gonna say anything, but… well, it's getting worse." I could tell she didn't want to upset me or point fingers, ridiculing or anything, but I knew there was no reason for her to worry.

"I have been really stressed out lately. With all of the stuff going on with me and the Cullen boys. My body hasn't been acting right, that's all. And today, well, it's just from what happened yesterday. You have no reason to be alarmed, I assure you." I smiled as I stood to gather my clothes for a shower.

"Okay, Bella, but just answer me a few questions first, okay?" I nodded and she continued, "You have been sleeping a lot more. In the beginning, I thought you just wanted to get out of thinking about breaking up with Edward, but it never got better… it actually got worse. And then… you probably haven't noticed, but you are very clumsy, so I know you run into things a lot, but I have seen you make awful faces when your breasts even barely graze something."

I held up my hand to stop her and said, "I thought you were going to ask questions…"

She smiled and said, "You're right. Okay. Have you been sleeping more?" I rolled my eyes and she giggled. "I'm sorry. So, well, I've also noticed that you have gotten sick a lot more frequently… actually… to be honest, I never even saw you get sick before, so, yeah, there's that. And then I have seen you stop right in the middle of studying to go to the coffee shop to get an M&M scone. And… well, not to be all up in your business, but… well, when was the last time Mother Nature paid you a visit? I haven't seen your tell-tale signs recently. I really think there's a possibility, Bella."

"Well, first of all, I'm not sure how I feel about you knowing my cycle… or my 'signs' as you put it, but anyway." I snickered. "I remember health class when they said stress could screw up your body in so many ways, especially when it comes to your periods. I'm sure that the vomiting and the periods are related to stress. As for the M&M scones… have you tried them? Oh my gosh, they are to die for!" I laughed. "But anyway, Mace and I used protection, so there's nothing to worry about, Angela. I'm sure everything will go back to normal soon," I reassured her.

"Okay, Bella, but… well, you know that no protection is foolproof, right? I'm just saying that… well, all the signs are there, so… you might want to at least consider it, you know?" She shrugged her shoulder and gave me a sad smile.

The problem was, well, I didn't _want_ to consider it. First of all, I was finally back with Edward. I had fixed our relationship and put it back on the right track. Second of all, well, Mace was gone now; how in the heck could I deal with carrying his baby? Especially when in a relationship with his brother?

However, as I took my shower, I couldn't help but think of how many legitimate points Angela had.

**(Ducks and covers)**

**Please review even if you hate me ;) I'll be so happy!**

**Know this:**

**My co-conspirator (Alitriona) is in mourning. Mace was to be her husband. I decided he had a different plan about four chapters ago, and she was an amazingly good sport about me killing off her fiancé. We love him, very much, so those of you who wanted Bella to end up with him… trust us… I doubt you could love him more than we did! We were in his head/heart/mind/body… well, maybe not body (but we wish we were).**

**Anyway, thanks so much for reading! I love all of you who take the time out to read this roller coaster ride!**

**TOTALLY FORGOT!**

**Please, please check out the awesome video my beta made me!**

www(dot)youtube(dot)com/watch?v=InDa53qyRhY


	19. In the Wake of Delusion

Yes, you are getting this early. I figure since this is the next to last one, getting it a few hours early isn't gonna 'ruin my schedule' lol!

So, yeah, I'm really sad to see this fic come to an end! It was a very difficult ending, that's for sure. However, I am totally amazed at the positive feedback I received! I really thought I would be reamed last week! I planned to go into hiding (WhatObsession17 had prepared us a tree house fort to hide out in until the storm blew over!) but I never had to! I had one semi-nasty review, and my only complaint about it is that I wish the person who said this was a copout wouldn't have left an anon review. Isn't that a bit hypocritical? Anyway, I wouldn't allow anon reviews if I was worried about getting nasty reviews. I welcome all reviews. I just love knowing people are reading this!

Thank you to my LC- Alitriona/Eila, Allysue08, Rags88, Revrag, Shereebedee, Spellboundagain, and WhatObsession17 ***If you haven't already, go check out the vid Allysue made for GBB here: www(dot)youtube(dot)com/watch?v=InDa53qyRhY It's AMAZING!

Still leasing

**In the Wake of Delusion**

_March 6, 2010_

For three days, Angela's words festered in my brain. I was too scared to take a test, but she had darn near convinced me that every single thing my body had done over the past two months had been because I was pregnant, not because I was upset over losing my first and only love. I started nitpicking everything. I finally googled pregnancy symptoms.

**Missed period**.

Yeah, but I wasn't going to accept that symptom as pregnancy. I was one hundred percent sure you could miss a period from stress.

**Feeling tired**.

Yes, but again, I had been so stressed out over the Edward/Mace situation; I knew it had been exhausting my body.

**Feeling sick**.

This was where things got tricky. I had dismissed my frequent vomiting because it was rarely in the morning, and yet the website I was reading said it could happen at any time of the day or night. Still, it could very easily have been stress.

**Changes in your breasts**.

_You may notice your breasts getting larger, feeling tender, or tingling in the early weeks of pregnancy. In addition, the veins on your breasts may show up more and your nipples may get darker._

I decided to do some reconnaissance in front of the mirror. Unfortunately, that was just upsetting, but let's not get too personal there.

**Going to the bathroom more often**.

I was about to get excited about this part, until I saw that it said 'around six to eight weeks' and being that if I _was_ pregnant, I would be around eight weeks or so, the fact that I had only been urinating more frequently for the past week or two was no longer relevant.

**Mood swings and stress**.

The website said you might cry for no apparent reason, or lash out at people. Again, yes, this had been the case, but I wouldn't say I was crying for no reason. I'd had plenty of reason with what had happened recently. So, I chalked it up to stress once more.

Then again, pregnancy can cause stress. Stress can cause pregnancy symptoms. I was starting to wonder if it was even possible to come to any conclusions by that dang website.

**Changing tastes in food**.

Finally, there was something I could say mostly 'no' to. I say 'mostly' because it said you may crave stuff you never did before, and I had started craving chocolate more so than ever before, but I had heard that chocolate is a comfort food, so yet _again_ I deemed stress the culprit.

After going through all of these symptoms, at the very bottom of the page it said, "Remember, some of the earliest signs of pregnancy may be subtle, not obvious at all."

Lovely. Basically, the website was saying these symptoms could mean pregnancy, but then again, they might not. If you don't have the symptoms you could **still** be pregnant. _Thank you very much for that insightful article._

My cell beeped, alerting me I had an hour to get ready for the funeral. I really felt awful about going. I couldn't help but feel like everyone there would know I was at fault for what had happened to Mace, but Alice and Edward both would not allow me to take on the responsibility of the incident. They assured me that their parents had not even _thought_ about blaming me.

_How will they feel about you if you are pregnant?_

I sighed deeply, and began to get ready. I just needed to get through the day and then I could work on finding out if I had yet another piece of information to divulge to Edward. I briefly wondered how much would be 'too much' for him. When would he finally say he couldn't take anymore? He had already bestowed me with more grace than of which I was worthy.

* * *

The service was beautiful. Mrs. Cullen – who was adamant I'd call her Esme – embraced me the moment she saw me. She told me she was terribly sorry that it took something so tragic to incite our meeting of one another, and that she hoped I would have plenty of joyful occasions to meet with the family at a later date.

Edward had his arm around my shoulders the entire time, never leaving my side. No one actually broached the subject of the event, but many, many people hugged me sympathetically. Not one single person looked at me accusingly.

Being that their dad, Carlisle, was born in London, and still upheld his family's traditions, they had a wake after the funeral. However, they didn't have it at Mace's house, but instead at Alice and Jasper's.

The wake didn't keep with Alice's quirky style. No, it was elegant and reserved. Obviously, even though it was _her_ brother who had passed away, she took into consideration that friends, family, and extended family wouldn't quite understand her usual style.

There were a lot of people in the small space, so many people to show their respects to Mace and his family. There was a photograph of him over the fireplace: he was sitting on his Harley, his arms outstretched, showing off in the sunshine outside of that very house. The light caught his fauxhawk, bringing out gold and bright bronzed highlights from the darker, gelled strands. He looked so proud… happy. How his family would want to remember him.

Stacks of china plates, silverware wrapped in linen napkins, along with a plain silver water holder, were arranged on a long narrow table set up at the end of the room. The table was decked out with an array of cold meat sandwiches, salads, and finger foods. Several people were helping themselves. One girl, dressed in a black skirt and white blouse with an apron tied around her waist, carried a silver tray of drinks, serving the mourners from a makeshift bar in the kitchen and collecting the used cups and plates on her return journey.

Alice oversaw everything, stepping in when it looked like the young server was a little overwhelmed. I offered to help, but she assured me everything was under control and keeping busy was her way of dealing.

Esme sat on the sofa, with Carlisle never leaving her side. People talked quietly among themselves taking turns to offer their condolences to the family.

At one point, I excused myself to go to the restroom. Edward actually tried to follow me, but when I gave him a death stare, he quickly changed his mind. _I mean, come on… there are some things you need to do alone…_

As I was walking in the direction of the restroom, Jasper caught me by the arm and pulled me off to the side. I was slightly taken aback since he hadn't often been one to initiate conversation, let alone actual contact.

He smiled sweetly and wrapped his arm around my shoulders. "You look a little flustered there, Bella. I thought I'd try to help you relax a bit."

My eyes widened. I was a little scared of how he was going to 'help me relax a bit'. I mean, Alice and Jasper were rather hippy-ish, so, I was the slightest bit worried he was thinking along the lines of some sort of drug relaxation, and I surely didn't need that. Especially in the condition I could possibly be in.

Jasper snickered. "Bella, Bella. You don't honestly think I'd suggest any kind of questionable activity at my brother-in-law's wake, do you?" He shook his head in mock disapproval. "Nah, I just wanted to show you a little something."

_Again… not the best choice of words there, Jasper._

I stood there, dumbfounded, and he chuckled again. "Look." As he began to untuck his shirt, I started to panic. Like, literally, run-out-of-the-room panic. When he realized how things looked from my perspective, _he_ started freaking out. "Oh my God! No… I didn't… dang it. I wanted to show you my shirt, Bella, that's all. Sheesh, you must think I'm ten shades of creepy, huh? I'm sorry. I really just wanted to show you this."

Jasper lifted his shirt enough to show me that under his button down, he was wearing the shirt I first met him in – the one he called his 'favorite shirt' when it was ripped during his brawl with Mace. I cocked my head to the side and looked at him quizzically.

Grinning from ear to ear, Jasper said, "You see, Bella? Even when things appear to be beyond repair, sometimes, it just takes a little bit of hard work to make it right." He raised his shirt further and showed me where it had been stitched. "Just remember, things aren't always as hopeless as they seem. Sometimes, what seems like a bad situation is actually a blessing in disguise."

My stomach sank momentarily. Surely he didn't… Nah, he couldn't know. No one knew. Heck, _I_ didn't even know, yet.

I smiled and said, "Thanks, Jasper. You sure know the way to a girl's heart." I giggled and gave him a quick hug.

Just before I walked away, Jasper reached under his shirt behind his back and pulled out something that was grey and black. He slipped it on his head and I busted out laughing. He now wore a beanie hat made of wool with ear flaps, black braided tassels hanging from the sides of the flaps, with simple patterns stitched onto it. _Jasper… the life of the party._

It wasn't long before almost everyone was getting tipsy. Edward grabbed me by the hand and pulled me off to the side. "What do you say we get out of here? I don't know how much more I can handle of this. Let's go back to my room. Please?"

Of course I wouldn't deny him on the day of his brother's funeral. Anything to make him happier.

His room was a little messier than I had ever seen it, but it was quite understandable after the week he had had. "Please excuse the mess. I've been with Ma and Pop since… well, you know. I haven't had time to do anything around here."

I wrapped my arms around his waist and kissed his chin. "Edward, it's perfectly understandable after what you have been through. Besides, it's not bad at all. A college boy should have a much dirtier room, if you ask me."

Edward lowered his head and captured my lips with his. He pulled back and smiled. "I have needed you so much these past few days. Ma wouldn't let me out of her sight or I would have been glued to you like…" Grinning wickedly, he whispered, "I'd have been the proverbial Klingon." He snickered and began kissing me again.

I felt myself being pushed backward to the bed, as Edward kissed me deeper, hands grasping my waist like a life preserver. I was a bit discombobulated. I mean, he had just buried his brother, and he was… well, for lack of a better word, getting frisky with me. I allowed things to progress momentarily, when, like a wrecking ball, it hit me. I couldn't let him continue. I could very well be carrying his brother's – his _dead_ brother's – child. I couldn't let it go any further.

I pulled away and nearly collapsed on the floor, a sobbing, blubbering mess. I dropped my head to my hands and wailed. Whatever would I do? I couldn't comfort him in the way he seemed to need, because he would have hated me even more so after the fact, once I revealed my suspicions.

Immediately, Edward crouched beside me, pulling me into his arms. "Oh, Bella, please don't cry. I know today was an awful day, and I'm so sorry you had to go through it. I know this is kind of odd timing, but…" He leaned forward, his mouth at my ear and said, "I really need you right now. I can't explain it, but… it's just comforting to me. We don't have to… well, you know… but… I would just love to lie here and make out with you for a while and… you know, take our mind off things."

He was being so sweet. It only made me cry harder. "You don't understand. You're gonna hate me."

I wasn't even able to complete my sentence before he was smoothing down my hair and consoling me. "No, no, honey. It wasn't your fault. Please understand this. It's not your fault, Bella."

Again, his words sent me into a sniveling mess. "You don't understand. You're going to leave me and then I'll be alone again. I can't bear to be alone anymore."

"I won't leave you, Umbella. None of this was your fault. You have to understand this. It was in no way your fault." He rubbed soothing circles down my back as he spoke softly against my ear.

"No, no. You're not understanding. We will both be alone, Alice will hate me. Your parents will hate me. I'll be alone again," I said, sobbing even more.

"Bella, I swear to you, no one hates you. _NO ONE_ thinks it's your fault. Not one person."

"Edward! I… I… I think… Oh God… how can I tell you? I…" Finally, I just blurted it out, without thinking of a gentle way to say it. "I think I'm pregnant!" I instantly clamped my hand over my mouth and squeezed my eyes shut. I was waiting for him to scream. To cuss me out and tell me how horrible I was. I was waiting for many things that never came into play.

I peeked at him through squinted eyes and he was just staring at me in shock. But it wasn't the shock I anticipated. He wasn't looking at me in disgust or in an appalling manner. Suddenly, he jumped into action. So quickly that I squeaked in surprise.

Cupping my face in his hands, Edward spoke softly and passionately to me. "Bella, the last time you needed me, I walked away and left you all alone. I was selfish and inconsiderate. I'll be damned if I'll do it again." He stood abruptly, and grabbed my hand, pulling me to my feet as well.

"Edward, you're in shock. You can't mean that."

"No... I mean… Yes, I'm in shock, but I mean it! I mean every word. I've never stopped loving you and I never will… ever! We can do this, Bella. You and me – together. Now, come on, let's find out for sure, before we make any decisions. I will go with you to get a test. We need to know without a doubt."

I shook my head and pulled my face back. "Wait! Wait! You don't understand. I can't… I won't… There's no way I can get rid of it, Edward. I know it's an awful situation, but I don't believe in abortion, Edward. I won't. I'm sorry, but I won't."

Edward laughed humorlessly. "I'm afraid _you_ don't understand, Bella." He cupped my face once again, kissed my nose and then my chin, and said, "There is absolutely no way I would ever ask that of you." He kissed each cheek before he continued. "If you _are_ pregnant, that baby is a part of you and I could never imagine not loving a part of you." He kissed my lips. "Any part." He kissed me again. "Every part." He kissed me once more, and then looked deep into my eyes, with his forehead resting against mine. "And don't you see? This could be my second chance. My second chance with you, my second chance to do right by my brother. If you _are_ pregnant, my parents haven't lost him, Alice hasn't lost him… _I_ haven't lost him. A part of him would still be alive." Swallowing back tears, Edward added, "I love you, Bella, and I will love this baby because it is _your_ baby. I swear I will never walk away from you again. I love you. Now, let's go get the dang test and know once and for all."

We quickly went to the drug store and bought two different pregnancy tests, just to be sure. I was a nervous wreck, but Edward seemed to be completely at ease. To be quite honest, he almost seemed as if… as if he had already accepted it as so.

Back in his dorm, Edward wrapped his arms around my waist and looked me in the eye. "Just remember, Bella, no matter what happens, I'm here for you. Completely. One hundred percent. I won't leave you again. Regardless of what those tests say, we will get through this together. It may be difficult for both of us, but we can get through it. You are my life now. And if there's a baby here," he touched my stomach, "it will be my life as well." He kissed me fervently, pulling me closer to him.

I brought the freshly peed on sticks back to his room, and waited patiently, wrapped in Edward's arms, lying on the bed. Neither of us spoke, but he was absentmindedly doodling on my arm with his fingertips, and it was incredibly relaxing. I probably could have fallen asleep if it wasn't for the fact that my future was merely minutes away from revealing itself.

Edward's watch beeped, alerting us that the maximum allotted time had been reached. We both lay frozen on the bed until finally Edward sighed, squeezed my shoulder and kissed my temple. "We need to face the music, honey."

I moved to get up, but before I rose completely, he turned me so that I was facing him. Grasping my face between his hands, he looked at me intently. "Umbella, no matter what those tests say, I love you and I always will. I will be here for you regardless of what we face after today. I'll never turn my back on you again." He kissed me with the intensity of thousand suns and I pulled away gasping for air. Smiling crookedly, he whispered, "I love you, Bella. So freaking much."

Taking a deep breath, I swallowed what felt like a baseball in my throat. I still couldn't move a muscle. With my eyes closed, I whispered, "I love you, too, Edward, but I'm so scared. I don't think I can look."

I felt his lips ghost over mine and he took my hands into his. "We will do this together. From now on, we will do everything together. As a team. As a couple."

I nodded and I could feel the tears welling up in my eyes. I couldn't believe Edward was being so accepting. I was having a hard time believing that he would really be there for me if the test was positive. Surely he was just trying to comfort me and make me feel at ease, right?

Still keeping one of our hands entwined and our gazes locked on each other, he reached over to the night stand, grabbed one of the tests and pulled it between us. "On the count of three?" he asked, smiling sweetly. I nodded, closing my eyes and resting my forehead on his.

"One. I love you, Bella." He squeezed my hand, accentuating his statement.

"Two. I accept every part of you." Lifting my hand to his lips, he kissed each knuckle.

"Three. We can do this."

We both looked down at the same time and I realized I couldn't see anything due to the tears in my eyes. I blinked quickly, causing the tears to escape down my cheeks and land on the stick, which I noticed had a pink line.

I gasped, but Edward pulled me into a tight embrace, whispering words of comfort into my hair as he smoothed it down on my neck. "Bella, it's okay. It'll be okay. We'll get through this. I'll take care of you… both of you. I swear on my life, Bella, I will never ever turn my back on you. My family will be there for you as much as you need as well. We can get through this, Bella."

Edward pulled back and wiped away my tears with his thumbs, kissing the trails left on my cheeks. He then kissed my chin and then my nose and finally landed on my lips with a searing, needy kiss.

We lay on his bed for several hours, just cuddling in silence. Every so often, Edward would trail his fingers across my stomach, sigh softly, and kiss my head. It was nice and comforting and helped to settle my nerves. A little. Okay, not really. But it was nice.

* * *

_March 8, 2010_

"Are you sure it's a good idea? I mean… you don't think it's a bit creepy? Or… disrespectful to the… _deceased_?" I whispered to Alice and Edward.

"No, Bella, it's not creepy or disrespectful. You are Edward's girlfriend and he needs someone to support him. This is difficult for him, Bella. Ma couldn't take it. She was just too distraught. I have Jasper, Edward has you. Trust me. It's perfectly fine," Alice assured me.

Edward wrapped his arms around my waist from behind and placed his chin on my shoulder. "Trust us when we say you will be more beneficial than detrimental. It's going to be so difficult no matter what, and you can help ease some of the pain."

Alice and Edward had to go to Mace's apartment and start clearing out his things. They had come to the conclusion that it was best to do it sooner rather than later so as to avoid opening wounds starting to heal. I was incredibly nervous about being in his home. I didn't know why, but it felt intimate, and I wasn't comfortable with that feeling.

Opening the front door and walking in first, Alice halted and gasped loudly, causing Jasper to run smack dab into her back. We crowded in around her and all of us froze in shock. It seemed his obsession went a bit deeper than anyone ever knew.

Along the entire back wall of the living room was my face. At first I thought it was painted, but it wasn't. Page after page of printer paper was pieced together like a jigsaw puzzle with the end result being a bigger than life portrait of yours truly.

If that wasn't bad enough, the whole right wall was littered with pictures of me that I had never seen taken, but that wasn't the worst part. Mace had been photoshopped into the pictures with me, making us look like a couple.

Alice walked over to a corkboard hanging on the left wall. "Oh, Mace. Dear brother, what were you thinking?"

Walking up behind her, we looked over her shoulders at the papers tacked to the board.

I barely had time to read part of one page before Edward wrapped his arm around my shoulders and tried to lead me away. "Edward? How did he… was he… oh my God! He watched all of our conversations? Edward! Those were private! How could he do that?" Tears started falling down my face so rapidly I couldn't wipe them away fast enough.

Emails, texts, and even IMs were printed out and tacked all over the wall. They were between me and Edward, but on these particular messages, Edward's name had been replaced with Mace's. Intimate, personal, _romantic_ emails between the two of us had not only been read by Mace, but manipulated into appearing as if they were between me and him.

Edward guided me over to the couch and pulled me down into his lap. He held me, rocking me and running his fingers through my hair, the whole time whispering, "I'm sorry, baby. I'm sorry. It's over now. You don't have to worry about it anymore."

I shifted in Edward's lap, and when I did, my knee came in contact with a book between the cushions. I pulled it out and realized it was a photo album. I opened it to a random page and screamed in horror. I flipped through a few more pages and started hyperventilating. Edward took the book from me, slammed it shut and looked at Alice. "I need to get her out of here. Burn that book. Don't look in it, Al. We're going back to my place. She can't be here. This is ridiculous. I never thought it would be like this. Please call us a cab."

Edward didn't even try to get me to walk, he just lifted me up and carried me out the front door and down to the lobby. He sat us down on a small loveseat and rubbed my back soothingly while we waited for the cab.

"I'm so sorry, baby. I never should have taken you in there. I'm sorry. I didn't think it was like that. I never knew how delusional he was, Bella. I'm so sorry you were subjected to this… to all of this. I'm so sorry."

"How did he get those pictures, Edward? We were in a secluded place! We always made sure no one was around!" I cried into his shirt.

"I don't know, honey. I have no clue how he managed that, but my brother was a genius and he figured out how to hack anything and everything. I'm just sorry that your privacy was invaded. I know it must be awful for you. I'm so sorry." He held me tightly against his chest and kissed the top of my head.

"It's awful that he saw me in those moments, but what's worse than that is that he… he defiled the scene by placing himself in your place. That's awful, Edward! I can't believe someone could be so cold and heartless!" I said with a sob.

"I don't think he was intentionally cold and heartless, Bella. He was sick. He needed help. I think, in his own deranged way, he really did love you. He just didn't know how to let you go. He thought he was getting you to love him. It's so sad. I hate that my brother's life ended on that note. Never having known what it was like to have someone really love you back. I wish I had seen. Instead of being blinded by jealousy and rage and thinking he was just a bad seed. If I had paid better attention, I might have been able to help him. I might have saved you from what you went through as well."

"Oh my God, Edward! What if… what if this baby is like Mace? What if whatever was wrong with him is wrong with this baby? What if –"

Edward cut me off by placing his finger on my lips. "Sweetheart, you don't need to worry about that. This baby is half of _you_ and you are a good person. You are kind and loving and thoughtful and considerate. Your goodness will overcome any evil that Mace had in him. And besides, we will know what to watch for, so we could catch it early if that were the case, but I really think you have nothing to worry about, honey. Honestly."

He kissed my forehead and rested his cheek against mine until the cab pulled up a few seconds later.

Once we were back at Edward's room, he walked over to his bed. "Come over here and relax. Try to take your mind off things." He lay down and pulled me down with him, my back flush against his chest. He wrapped an arm around my waist and pulled his face into the crook of my neck. "I love you, Bella. Just lie here and clear your mind."

As he traced circles across my abdomen, he started to hum, and within a few seconds I recognized the song. "Mmm, I love that song. It's beautiful," I said drowsily.

Edward kissed my neck. "It's how I feel about you."

He then started to sing it.

_The loneliness of nights alone  
the search for strength to carry on  
my every hope has seemed to die  
my eyes had no more tears to cry  
then like the sun shining up above  
you surrounded me with your endless love  
Coz all the things I couldn't see are now so clear to me_

_You are my everything  
Nothing your love won't bring  
My life is yours alone  
The only love I've ever known  
Your spirit pulls me through  
When nothing else will do  
Every night I pray  
On bended knee  
That you will always be  
My everything_

_Now all my hopes and all my dreams  
are suddenly reality  
you've opened up my heart to feel  
a kind of love that's truly real  
a guiding light that'll never fade  
there's not a thing in life that I would ever trade  
for the love you give it won't let go  
I hope you'll always know_

As he continued to sing, I felt myself relax and begin to doze off.

I didn't know how long I slept, but I awoke in the same position I had fallen asleep in, with Edward still wrapped around me and snuggling into my neck.

"Mmm, hey, baby. Do you feel better?" he asked softly.

I nodded. "How long was I out for?"

Looking down to his watch he said, "Four hours and twenty-two minutes."

I pulled away from him quickly, shifting to look him in the eye. "Oh my God! Are you serious? And you just stayed here with me the whole time?" He nodded and kissed my neck. "Weren't you uncomfortable?"

"Nope. I could lie here holding you from now until eternity." He continued to pepper my neck with kisses.

"And you weren't bored out of your mind?" I asked, giggling.

"Nah. Watching you sleep is quite entertaining." I felt him smile against my skin.

"Oh no… what do you mean 'entertaining'?" I was horrified. I knew I was prone to talking in my sleep and I was a nervous wreck as to what I had said in front of him.

"Well…" he started, with a chuckle. "You talk a lot about school. You hate Mike Newton's advances. You worry about your dad a lot. But my favorite topic?" He slowly kissed up my neck until he was next to my ear. "You love my hands on you." Trailing his hands up my side toward my breast, he whispered, "You like my hands here…" He slipped his hand under my bra and twirled his finger around my nipple. I moaned and he sucked my earlobe in between his lips. I felt his hand glide back down toward my waist, and he whispered, "And you _love_ my hands here…" His fingers slid under my waistband, dipping further, closer to my growing need. But he stopped, mere inches from his destination.

"I do. I love your hands on me, Edward. Touch me. Please. I… I need to feel you." I shamelessly begged him. I had missed his touch, and in that moment, I needed it more than I needed to breathe.

"Are you sure, Bella? I don't… I don't know if I will be able to stop myself once I start. I've… I've wanted you for so long. And… I don't… I don't want to push you," he mumbled against my throat, warring with himself.

I twisted to my back, looking him in the eye. "Edward, I have never wanted anything more. I want you. All of you. And I want you to have all of me."

"Oh, Bella! I love you so much." He captured my lips with his own.

Of their own volition, my hands went into his soft, messy head of hair. I had always loved the feeling of his hair between my fingers. He groaned against my lips and moved his body to hover over mine, holding his weight up by his elbows.

His lips moved from mine, to my neck, kissing, caressing, licking, pecking. I was writhing beneath him; moaning, groaning, whimpering in need. "Edward, I love you. I need you. Please… please."

Edward rose up to his knees and grabbed the hem of my shirt. "What do you want, Bella? Tell me what you want. I'll give you anything you ask. Anything."

"Make love to me, Edward."

That was all it took. Edward's movements were purposeful. They weren't rushed or demanding, but gentle, slow, and full of intent. As he began to lift my top, I rose up to give him access. His actions were so tender. Once I was freed from the confines of my shirt, Edward slowly trailed his fingers down my neck, gripping my shoulders when he reached them.

Our lips met passionately and his fingers continued to glide across my skin ever so slowly and ever so gently. With every inch of ground he gained, the fire inside burned brighter, stronger, hotter.

His fingers trailed across my skin; the featherlike touches left an unmistakable impression in their wake. I weaved my hands into his silky, thick hair, keeping him as close to me as I possibly could. His 'I love you's' were spoken in between sweet kisses and murmured around my lips. As his mouth descended to my shoulder, leaving warm kisses against my flesh, he moved his hands upward, gradually sliding the straps of my bra down my arms.

Once he had completely removed my bra, he focused on my breast again, his fingers tenderly pinched my swollen nipples, causing me to gasp and my fingers to tighten in his hair.

He lowered himself down as he began to kiss my chest, stopping at the valley between my breasts and leaving a sweet kiss before moving on. Quickly, he sucked one of my nipples into his mouth, switching to the other before I had time to react. I arched my back at the feeling of his mouth on me, and I unintentionally, though gratefully, ground my hips against his forming erection. We groaned in unison at the feeling, but I just wanted more; all I needed was to feel him against me and in me and through me. I began grinding against him again, yearning for the friction that our hips could make, as he continued licking and sucking and nipping at the sensitive flesh of my breasts. I shivered in response.

His hands began to move again, and, as before, he kept his touch light and his movements slow, causing me to stir in hopes of making him hasten his journey. When his fingers began working on unzipping my pants, I needed him to lose some of his clothes as well. Quickly, I pulled his T-shirt off over his head, before he had time to continue his removal of my pants. I ran my hands across his back, feeling the way his skin stretched across his muscles. My hands made their way over his shoulders and down his chest; I reveled in the way his overheated flesh felt against my fingers.

He continued to pull my pants down, over my hips, and threw them off the bed without a second glance. His fingers brushed across my bare thigh, making me shudder as I realized where he was headed. While his lips began their journey upward to my neck and jaw, his hand began its own exploration, going underneath my panties and caressing me. I gasped as his fingers began to leisurely stroke and tease me. As much as I enjoyed the feeling, I needed to feel more than just his light touch. My hips bucked up, showing him that I wanted more, so he obliged.

First, he started with one, but soon began pumping two of his fingers into me. I moaned at the sensation and wrapped my arms around his neck just to have something to hold onto. He kissed my lips as my breathing grew heavier and I tried to kiss him back, but I was having a hard time concentrating on anything other than his fingers. I could feel his smile against my skin as my eyes rolled back and a fire ignited inside of me. My orgasm rushed through me, and I gasped out Edward's name as loud as my breathlessness would allow me.

After I had calmed down and my breathing was back to almost normal, he leaned back onto his knees. He left light kisses against my navel as he slowly began pulling down my panties. Leaning back completely, he looked over my flushed, naked body. Before I had time to feel self-conscious from his gaze, his eyes met mine and they were full of fire and awe.

"You're perfect," he whispered sincerely.

A smile slowly spread across my lips and I wanted to tell him that he was as well, but he leaned down to kiss me eagerly and any thought of speaking was thrown out the window. After just a few moments of our passionate kissing, he retracted his lips far enough away from mine.

"I love you, Bella." His breath tickled my lips as he spoke and I smiled at him again, feeling my heart beat faster with every sweet word that he spoke. I didn't want to wait any longer for what we should have done a long time ago.

"Edward," I spoke in a breathy whisper. "Edward, please I need to see you, all of you. Please."

I was aware that I was begging, but I couldn't take much longer of not getting to feel him completely.

Taking a deep breath he knelt back again and removed the rest of his clothing. Instead of coming back toward me, he stayed at my feet and bent his head forward. Starting at my ankles, he left warm kisses against me, slowly trailing up my legs, causing an overwhelming feeling to rise in me. I begged him again, needing more of him than his slow soft kisses against my skin. He merely chuckled at my desperate plea and continued his slow movement up my leg.

My heart began to race as he got closer and closer to my arousal. We had never done _that_ before, and I wasn't really comfortable starting it at that moment. As he continued closer, I began to squirm, unintentionally, as I became more nervous. But instead, he left a soft kiss against my hipbone, before moving his lips to the area just below my belly button and continuing upwards. All of his kisses were soft and sweet and made my heart flutter at the feel of them, until he finally reached my lips and left a searing kiss as he moved his body to cover my own.

"I love you so much," he told me as we pulled away to breathe. His eyes burned into mine, letting me know that his words were nothing but sincere.

"I love you, too," I promised, as my hand moved up to slowly brush back a piece of his hair from his forehead.

When he positioned himself at my entrance, my heart began beating faster and he looked into my eyes.

"Are you ready?" he asked me sweetly.

I was on the verge of bursting, I was so ready for him, but I could only answer with a sure nod. He kissed me hard and entered me; our simultaneous moans blended together between our lips. The moment we connected I could feel just how right we were, as if everything suddenly made sense, and he was constructed solely for me.

"Oh, Bella," he moaned. "You have no idea how amazing you feel."

We started slow, and I gasped at the feeling of his bare hipbone grinding against my own. He left random kisses across my face and I felt his hot breath fan across my skin. Soon enough though we both needed more and our movement quickened. He spoke in barely audible words, things like 'perfect' and 'beautiful' and 'love.' And I ran my fingers through his hair and whispered his name as he moved inside of me.

Within minutes, my panting became more like moans and my whispers became more like gasps. He moved his face to the crook of my neck as his groans were become more audible too. My hand ran along the moist skin of his back as one of his hands held onto my thigh.

I began to notice the fire I had felt before, burning from my within me, slowly rising up to the surface. Unsure of what else to do, I cried out his name and held tightly onto him as my ecstasy rushed through me. I wasn't sure how long I rode my wave of euphoria, but eventually I came down from my cloud of oblivion and realized that Edward was about to reach his. He buried his face in my neck and called out my name as he shuddered above me.

We lay there a few moments longer, letting our heart rates return to normal.

Edward pulled me into him, humming against my neck. "That was amazing, Bella. Thank you." He kissed me softly. "I love you so much. So much."

"I love you, too, Edward. Thank you. Thank you for… for accepting me." I took a deep breath, choking back a sob. "Thank you… for accepting _both_ of us."

In that moment, I knew that I would go to the ends of the earth to make Edward happy. No matter what it would take. No matter what he asked. I wanted to be there for him just like he was there for me when I needed him the most.

**I know many of you didn't like the idea of a baby, and I'm sorry to disappoint, but this was the ending that slapped me in the forehead when I was writing chapter 16, and I had to write it. I ran it by my whole LC and all but one loved the idea, so majority rules. I'm sorry to disappoint those of you who hate the idea. I am glad I have some of you behind me in this endeavor, though :)**

**That being said. I have some confessions to make. **

**Confession No. 1**

**Apparently, I am a one-hit wonder when it comes to fluffy lemons… because I couldn't for the life of me get these two undressed by myself. No matter how I tried, everything was awkward. So, I had the help of one of my dear betas (not sure if she wants to be named… she's nervous about having one of her lemons in someone else's story, hahahaha). Now, she is a wordy woman. VERY WORDY (lol) and y'all know that I am not. VERY NOT (rofl), so after she 'created' this lemon, I had to 'make it mine' and then my *other* beta pointed out things that I wouldn't say (to which beta No.1 asked, "How does she know what 'you wouldn't say'?" hahahaha!) Yeah, I'm so glad I have a team for this fic… Y'all are lucky that you don't have to read what I come up with by myself 'cause youda left ages ago! LOL!**

**Confession No. 2**

**If you know me even the slightest bit, you know I can't describe my way out of a paper sack, so I have to thank my co-author (see how I snuck it in there again? Lol) for helping me describe the wake. I have never been to one, first of all, and I couldn't describe one even if I had.**

**I'm done, so sorry to give an essay-size A/N (but at least it's my first one! Lol)**

**Do you still love me? Do you hate me? Let me know either way! My fic's almost done, just tell me how you feel *grin* and you will get your VERY LAST *sniff* teaser ever! **


	20. Good, Beautiful & Everything In Between

I wrote this ending weeks ago, sent it to my pre-readers and betas and then mentally shelved it. My beta sent it back to me today (with the nicest words ever, btw) and I went through to edit for posting. I have to say, I am sitting here in tears. Not only because it's over, but I realized how much I love these characters. I am going to miss this fic so much! I may have to come back at some point in time and add just a little glimpse into their future. Not a sequel, but maybe an outtake when the idea hits me. I hope you guys enjoy this ending as much as I enjoyed writing it.

And yeah, I didn't send out teasers because I decided to just post it instead of making you wait until Friday – I figured you guys would prefer that. Thanks for all of the reviews, though! I really do appreciate each one of them!

Thank you so much for all of the support throughout this whole ordeal. I know it was a rough ride. It was bumpy and scary. Thank you for hanging in there. For those of you who didn't like the insertion of the little one, I'm sorry, but it's just how I wanted to do it. I was warned by my betas that I should never try to conform to the masses, so I stuck with my idea regardless of what everyone else wanted. For those of you who love the baby idea – THANK YOU! I totally appreciate your support! I even managed to change a few opinions of people who were against the baby! YAY! Lol!

As for now, I am going to continue working on my AU fic. I'm not sure of any AH fics in my future, but I may wake up with a plot bunny staring me in the face, you never know!

Thank you to everyone! Every single one of you! Thank you for pimping me, rec'ing me, making me banners, videos, everything! I am truly honored by all of the support I have been given! I love you all!

Thank you one last time to my WC (Big soppy tears): Alitriona/Eila, Allysue08, Rags88, Revrag, Shereebedee, Spellboundagain, and the one who had to hold my hand more times than I can count: WhatObsession17 – I LOVE YOU GUYS! SO FREAKING MUCH THAT IT HURTS!

SM, thank you for loaning me your characters. I am giving them back, now. They are only slightly tortured and used up.

**The Good, the Beautiful, and Everything In Between**

_March 9, 2010- 9 weeks_

"Edward, I don't know… I think it's too soon. They _just_ buried their son! They're already gonna hate me, shouldn't we wait at least a little bit before we shatter their world?" Yes, I was whining, and no, I didn't care. I hadn't even wanted to ever tell his parents, but it's not like this was something we could hide. Well, I mean, we _could_ hide it, but _morally_ we could never do such a thing.

I was pacing, so Edward grabbed me by the wrist and pulled me to him. "Ok, first of all, you need to quit getting stressed out; it's not good for the baby. Second of all, no one is gonna hate you, I swear to you! My family could never hate you. They adore you already. Trust me, there is nothing you could do to make them hate you. And last, but not least, we need to do this for a few different reasons. The faster we tell everyone, the faster you will be less stressed out, and also, Ma and Pop would rather know now than later, I promise you."

I grumbled, "Okay, fine. But…" I looked at him sternly. "We aren't telling them the full truth." Edward started to protest, but I stopped him. "I don't want your parents to know how Mace finagled and manipulated us. I don't want to taint his memory worse than it already is for them."

"How do you plan to go about that, then? How are you gonna explain the baby? I don't want to lie to them, Bella. I know we could pull it off, but I don't think that's the right way to go," he said, frowning.

"No, no, no. I would never lie to them, Edward. I'm just going to apologize and tell them that I made a mistake and I was with Mace when you and I broke up. I will tell them we used protection, because we honestly did, but –"

"Absolutely not! You are _not_ making yourself look bad to save Mace's name. I won't have it. We will just tell them like it is." He rubbed my arms soothingly as he spoke.

"Edward, think about it this way; your parents would eventually get over what I've done, especially if _you've_ forgiven me and accepted me, but with Mace… well, they could never get over what he did. He can never redeem himself. He can never defend himself. This is the best way, trust me."

Placing our foreheads together, he sighed. "I don't like it, Bella. You are my girlfriend. I don't want them to have any ill will toward you. _Especially_, when it's not your fault." He pouted.

"Edward, it will be okay. We'll get through this, remember?" I said, throwing his words back in his face.

"You don't play fair," he mumbled just before he touched my lips with his.

* * *

_March 10, 2010_

Edward and I had called his parents, telling them we needed to speak with them. I was fairly certain that they would know by just those words what we wanted, but Edward assured me they would be a bit too distracted to think in that direction. We pulled up in front of the Cullen's timeshare condo, beside Alice's bright Volkswagen.

I took a deep breath, still entirely unsure about what we had decided to do. Edward squeezed my knee. "We'll get through this, remember?" He flashed his signature smile.

Once inside, Esme offered us something to drink and snack on. I declined graciously. I didn't need to add anything to my already tumultuous stomach. Everyone was situated and patiently awaiting our reason for the meeting.

Deciding that Edward might back out at the last minute, I decided to begin. "I know this may be an awful time to bring this up, but Edward and I both agree that it's better for it to come out now rather than later." I quickly glanced from face to face, making brief eye contact, just because my teachers had instilled it in my brain for so long, I was unable to give a 'speech' without doing so. "I made a huge mistake. While Edward and I were separated, I… uh… well, I was with Mace. And, um… I mean _with_ Mace. It was stupid, I know, and I'm so, so sorry. I –"

Alice shot up out of her seat. "Bull shit!"

Before she could continue, Esme stood abruptly as well, grabbing her by the shoulder and raising her voice. "Mary Alice! How dare you! Everyone makes mistakes, who are you to point fingers at this poor girl?"

Alice was already shaking her head. "No, Ma, you don't understand! Mace _tricked_ her. I know the whole story!"

My eyes were as big as saucers and I was trying to convey the message to her to let this go, but she wasn't looking at me, so I spoke up. "Alice, please. Don't do this. Please?" I begged.

Alice turned toward me and started talking. "Bella, this isn't right. I'm not letting you take the blame. I know what you are doing. You are a wonderful person, and you are so considerate, but I can't let you do this. I know you think you are saving Ma and Pop from heartache, but trust me, they would rather you tell them the truth than to take the blame for their son. He was sick, Bella. We all understand. It was a horrible, unfortunate thing, but it's a sickness, Bella. I just can't sit here and let you take the –"

Tears streamed down my face as I spoke loudly over her. "I'm pregnant, Alice!" I sobbed. "I'm pregnant."

As I heard everyone in the room gasp, Edward squeezed my hip with the arm he had wrapped around me. He nuzzled my neck and mumbled that he loved me and everything would be alright.

Esme sank back down in her seat, tears welling up in her eyes as she covered her mouth with her hand. Carlisle wrapped his arm around her shoulder, comforting her and speaking sweetly in her ear.

Alice still stood in the exact same position, with her mouth gaping. Jasper reached for her, taking her by the hand and pulling her into his lap.

Everyone sat in silence for several minutes. Edward finally spoke up. "I know this is a lot to take in, but to be honest, I think the only people who are _truly_ affected by this are Bella and me. Because, ultimately, it doesn't matter if that baby came from me or my brother, it will be related to each of you in the same manner. I have fully accepted the baby, and I expect each of you to do the same. That baby is part of Mace… part of our family. And, the other part Bella. Since Bella is my girlfriend – and hopefully more than that someday – I think of her as part of our family as well. That being said, that means this baby is one hundred percent part of our family. I expect each and every one of you to welcome this baby as if it had been conceived under the best circumstances, regardless of the truth."

Esme shook her head. "No, of course, Edward. We could never turn away a child, let alone one that…" A quiet sob escaped from her lips before she continued. "One that belongs to one of our children." She turned her head toward me. "Bella, if my son… if my _sons_ love you, then I can't help but love you as well. I know I have only just met you, but I'd love to spend more time with you, especially since you seem to be such an important part of Edward's life. And now that you're carrying my grandchild. You will always be welcome in our family."

Carlisle nodded as he agreed. "Of course. That child is a Cullen, no matter the circumstances behind its conception, it is a Cullen, and it will be accepted like a Cullen. No ifs, ands, or buts about it."

Finally breaking from her trance, Alice jumped into action. She fluttered across the room, knelt down in front of me, and wrapped her arms around my waist, laying her cheek against my stomach. "Oh, Bella. I'm sorry, I didn't know. I still wouldn't have let you take the blame, but I'm sorry I cut you off and made you tell in an awkward manner." Alice then did the most peculiar thing. She turned her lips toward my belly and began speaking softly and sweetly. "Don't you worry, little one. You will be taken care of like no other child in the world. Auntie Alice will spoil you rotten, and Mamaw will, too." Tears began soaking my shirt, but Alice continued to speak. "It may not have been the best of situations, but every bursted bubble has a glory! Each abysmal failure makes a point! Every glowing path that goes astray, shows you how to find a better way. So every time you stumble never grumble.  
Next time you'll bumble even less! For up from the ashes, grow the roses of success!"

Through the tears in my eyes I started giggling. "Alice, you just quoted _Chitty, Chitty, Bang, Bang_ to my belly."

"Actually," she corrected, "I just quoted _Chitty, Chitty, Bang, Bang_ to my niece or nephew that happens to reside in your belly. It's _NEVER_ too early to learn the great Disney quotes! Ain't that right, baby?" Alice said just before she kissed my belly.

Everyone in the room snickered. Yes, Alice had a point. It's never too early to learn Disney.

* * *

_March 15, 2010- 10 weeks_

"Now, I hope you know this isn't going to go over as well as it did with _your_ family, right? I really, _really_ think it's a bad idea for you to come with me," I said as Edward grabbed my suitcases from just inside the door of my dorm room.

"I told you, Bella, everything is as a couple now. We do _everything_ as a couple. Like it or not, you're stuck with me. And if you are stuck with me… well, I have to face your dad eventually, right? It's not like I can avoid him forever." Edward chuckled.

"Trust me, this is one meeting you should want to put off indefinitely. Hey! I know! I can tell my dad I did a science experiment and was accidentally inseminated artificially! We don't even know who the father is! And then I can tell him that you stepped up and decided to help me care for the baby." No, I would never even think about lying to my dad, but that idea sounded better and better every time I thought about it.

"I don't think so, Umbella. First of all, I don't think anyone is stupid enough to fall for that line, and second of all, I'm not just here to 'care for the baby' and you know it. I'm here because I love you and I will always love you. And this is _our_ baby now, so I get to say how its story is told," he said smugly, sticking out his tongue for visual effect.

* * *

Pulling up in front of my father's house and stepping out of the car, I expected at any moment to hear someone shout, "Dead man walking!"

Edward looked at me and chuckled. "You know… if anyone here should be worried, it should be me, I would think. I'm fairly certain your father won't use one of his guns on _you_, you know."

I rolled my eyes at him and crossed my arms over my chest. "Did you ever think that I am scared _FOR you_ smarty pants?"

We had agreed to keep our luggage in the rental until after our big reveal, just in case my dad tried to run Edward off with a shotgun. We both knew it wasn't feasible for him to take it out on Edward, but… well, he _was_ a father, and fathers don't always think rationally when it comes to their daughters. _Yeah, this probably won't end well._

In order to really butter him up, I started Dad's favorite meal within minutes of walking in the door. He begged me not to, claiming that I was his guest and he could order in. I then told him it was ridiculous, because I was his daughter, not a guest, and I knew the only 'ordering in' would be from the pizza place. Call me crazy, but I wanted a home cooked meal after all of the time living the dorm life. Once Edward and I both said we were starving and would prefer something homemade, he obliged and I got to work. Lucky for me, Sue kept his cupboards and refrigerator fully stocked, even if he wasn't much of a cooker himself.

As we sat down to eat the spaghetti bake and garlic bread, my Dad smiled, thanking me for a wonderful meal. However, just as I placed a bite of food in my mouth, he piped up. "So, Bells, what are you buttering me up for?"

I inhaled part of my bite of food and instantly started choking. Edward patted my back and my dad handed me a glass of water. Five minutes later, once I had regained my composure, my dad suggested we wait for any 'heavy conversations which require brown nosing' until after supper.

The remainder of the meal was quite nice. Dad seemed to warm up to Edward rather quickly, in part because he was so amenable to everything my dad threw his way. Dad talked sports, Edward quoted stats of players from his favorite teams. Dad talked fishing, Edward shared his favorite fishing spots. And this was how the entire meal went. Dad even tried to trick him a few times, catch him in a lie or something, I don't know… that's my dad for you.

After dinner, Edward offered to help me clean up, but I insisted he'd relax with my dad in front of the television. He started to help me anyway, but I literally shooed him out of the room. Looking like a reprimanded child, he hung his head and walked into the living room. I was sure he would have rather stayed with me in the kitchen, but dad _REALLY_ needed to like Edward before we broke the news to him.

As I put the last dish in the cabinet, I took a deep breath and went to face the firing squad. Upon entering the living room, I found Edward sitting at the end of the couch nearest Dad's recliner. They were leaning in toward each other, both of them with grins on their faces. As I looked down to where their gaze was focused, I saw our photo album.

_Oh God, no!_

"DAD!" I screamed, causing both of them to jump in surprise.

Smirking, he calmly said, "What? I'm just showing him some photos."

"If that's _the_ photo album, I will never forgive you Charles Phillip Swan!" I eyed him warningly.

Edward raised an eyebrow. "That's not very nice, Bella. If your dad has sentimental photos he should be allowed to share them, shouldn't he?" I could hear the smirk in his voice before it became apparent on his face.

"Daaaaad! It is! It so _is_ the photo album, isn't it? How could you?" Okay, so I was only partially as upset as I let on. It was mortifying, yes, but considering that Edward had seen the adult version of me naked, I wasn't as worried about him seeing me standing on my mom's piano bench stark naked, spread eagle, with a smile on my face. But still… _DAD_ didn't know Edward had seen me naked, so I had to act rightly humiliated until I spilled the beans.

"Oh, don't worry, Bells. You were only five. Besides… it was cute."

I rolled my eyes as I sat down beside Edward. "Whatever, Dad. That was wrong." I pouted, just for added effect.

"Well, let's just say it's payback for whatever you came here to tell me tonight."

_Wait… what?_

"Payback? What makes you think I'm gonna need paid back? It's Spring Break, Dad. I told you I'd be coming for Spring Break."

"Yeah, I know, kiddo, but the fact that you brought your boyfriend that I have heard very little about, and the fact that you made my favorite meal as soon as you walked in the door, and the fact that your left eye has been twitching – something that you only do when you are nervous – tells me that you _did_, in fact, come here for a reason other than to spend time with your dear ole dad."

I honestly planned to stall as much as possible, but Edward had other plans, apparently.

"Actually, sir, you're right. We _do_ have something to tell you." I gasped and pinched Edward's side. He didn't even falter. "I can tell you are a man who just likes to cut to the chase, so I think it's best that we do that."

My dad pursed his lips and I knew he was getting angry. He always tried not to show anger in front of strangers, saying extreme calm is more intimidating than aggression or violence any day. He took a very deep breath and calmly, so eerily calmly, he said, "You knocked her up, didn't you?"

"Uhhh, well…"

I put my arm across Edward's chest as if to protect him from the rage that was sure to come and looked straight at my dad. "No, Dad, Edward did _not_ 'knock me up' as you so eloquently put it."

I didn't even get to continue before he quirked an eyebrow and said, "So you _aren't_ pregnant?"

"Well, um…"

Yet again, he cut me off, but this time he stood as he did so. His voice was raised and more aggressive as he said – looking right at Edward, instead of me – "So, you just don't like my choice of words, then, is that what you're saying? You're not denying that he _impregnated_ you, though, right?"

Dad towered over Edward and looked as if he could burn right through Edward's head with his eyes.

Immediately, I stood between my dad and Edward. Edward stood as well, grabbing my shoulders, trying to pull me back. "Dad, if you will calm down, I will tell you that it's not what you think. At. All. Please. Just listen for a minute. Edward is here to support me, and I'd appreciate it if you wouldn't intimidate him and make him regret coming."

"I would never regret coming, Bella," he whispered.

"Shush, Edward. Dad. Sit. Would you like a beer? I'll get you a beer if you calm down."

Dad grunted as he sat down, never taking his heated gaze from Edward. I turned toward Edward and motioned for him to sit down as I headed to the kitchen.

I came back to a silent room with Dad staring down the top of Edward's head, because Edward was staring at his hands twisting in his lap. I glared at my dad as I handed him his beer. I mouthed, 'be nice' and sat next to Edward, putting my hand on top of his to calm him. I felt awful for his uneasiness; it wasn't fair that he should feel threatened for something he had no control over.

"Now, Dad, there's not really an easy way to say this, but I need you to understand that Edward is in no way at fault here. If anyone is, it's me." Edward started to disagree, but I held up my finger. "No, Edward, this is my bed, I need to lie in it. Dad, Edward has… _had_… a twin brother. Certain things happened and I was… for lack of a better word, _tricked_ into sleeping with him. Before you flip out, I swear we used protection, Dad, I swear! You know I wouldn't lie to you. But, apparently I am one of the minute few with which the protection failed. Yes, I _am_ pregnant, but please don't be angry at Edward. This has devastated him. It was _his_ brother."

During my speech, I watched my dad's expressions morph from shock, to anger, to worry. "So, wait… I don't get it. Why is Edward here if it's his brother's baby? Where is he?"

This was the part I dreaded the most, but Edward squeezed my hand and took over from there. "Sir, my brother was… _killed_. He, um… well, he had some problems and he went a little overboard and, uh… well, he's gone now."

Dad's face had turned back concern. "So you're telling me that this baby will have no father? You have no one to help you raise it?"

"No, Dad," I started.

"Actually, sir, that's why I'm here." Edward cut in.

"So you mean to tell me that _you're_ gonna help raise your _brother's_ baby? Why? What's in it for you?" His brows were furrowed as he asked this question of Edward.

"Well, sir, I love Bella. I have since I met her. I would do anything for her. I will be there for her as long as she lets me."

"Hold on a minute. You have loved your brother's girl since you met her?" Dad asked, accusingly.

My eyes nearly popped out of my head. "No, Dad! Did you not hear me when I said I was basically tricked? Edward and I have been dating since September. His brother…" I took a deep breath to steel myself. "His brother, Mace, looked identical to him, and, he… well, he had an illness of some sort and he was… well, rather infatuated with me, I guess, and he… well, he knew Edward and I had plans to _be_ together and he manipulated us and our circumstances so that _he_ stepped in and took Edward's place. Edward is my boyfriend, Dad, not Mace. Edward is the one I love. It was an awful situation, it still _is_ an awful situation, but do you remember what you told me after Mom died? You said, 'The greater the difficulty, the more glory in surmounting it. Skillful pilots gain their reputation from storms and tempests.'* I can get through this, but I would really appreciate your support, because your approval means so much to me, Dad. I hate that I'm putting you in this predicament, but this was a situation beyond my control."

He pursed his lips and then sighed loudly. "And you're willing to be there for her, and raise this kid that doesn't belong to you… no matter what? No matter how hard it is when you see that baby and know that it's not yours? And you can honestly say that you will never blame her, never take it out on her, and never disrespect her, in regards to this situation?"

Taking a deep breath, Edward nodded and said, "Yes, sir, I can promise you that I will _never_ blame her. I made the mistake of blaming her in the beginning. I thought she should have known the difference between us, but I realized my fallacies, and have come back and promised her I will never leave her again, unless _she_ wants me to leave. I am here for the long haul. Come hell or high water, I will be by her side. We all made mistakes in this situation, and the greatest mistake was not realizing that my brother needed help. It was a terrible thing, but I think we can rise above it. I honestly believe that Bella is my forever. And if it ever _did_ come down to me having a hard time with the situation, I have researched support groups for those raising children conceived from traumatic circumstances. I'd be willing to go to counseling if necessary. I'm willing to do anything that Bella requires of me. I swear this to you, sir."

"Well, I respect that, Edward. Thank you. Thank you for being there for her. Thank you for accepting this difficult situation." Dad gave him a tight smile.

And that was that. No guns being pulled out. No screaming. No storming off. Complete and total calm. I was in shock.

* * *

_April 14, 2010- 15 weeks_

"I told you, I am fine with what you decide. If you want to know, we can know, if you don't we won't. It's all up to you, baby." Edward was flipping through _Dr. Spock's Pregnancy Guide_, for no reason other than to give his fingers something to do. He had already read it once, and we both knew he only had to read something once for it to be burned into his projection screen brain.

"You are no help, you know that? How can I decide if I want to if you are just up for anything? You're worthless!" I said, throwing a pair of socks at his face, which he deflected with no problem.

"It doesn't matter to me either way. I will love it no matter what sex it is, so I don't care. However, if you want to be prepared with _colorful_ decorations and clothing," he said, rolling his eyes. "Then knowing the sex would be best. And you know Ma and Alice will be tickled pink if you can tell them the sex, but again, this is your decision."

"_Our_ decision. But apparently, you are leaving all of the difficult decisions up to me, huh?" I stuck my tongue out as I pulled my hair up into a ponytail.

"Okay, fine. Let's find out. Who needs surprises? Life is full of enough of them." He grinned, pulling on his shoes.

I giggled. "Yay! I was hoping you wanted to, 'cause I so wanted to!"

Shaking his head, he said, "Then why didn't you just decide and say yes? You're so silly sometimes, Umbella." He chuckled and grabbed my hand as we walked out the door.

Upon finding out about my being pregnant, Edward bought a car, insisting that I shouldn't ever have to ride public transportation in 'my delicate condition'. I snorted, but when he gave me the death glare, I cowered and agreed. He had definitely taken then reins on taking care of me.

In the car ride, Edward was acting nervous. I chalked it up to the ultrasound we were heading to, but at the same time, he hadn't been the least bit nervous when we went to my first OB/GYN appointment.

"Bella… I, um… there's something I wanted to talk to you about." My heart sank. Conversations that begin with those words are never good. "It's um… well, I hope…" He sighed and ran his hand through his hair. "Ok, I'm just gonna throw it out there. I'd like us to move in together. I would pay all of the expenses. You would just be required to grace me with your presence every day." He laughed nervously.

That was _so_ not what I was expecting. I kinda just sat there with my mouth opening and closing like a freaking carp.

"I'm sorry. I should have waited. It's just that… I feel very protective of you… and the baby. And I would feel so much better if you were near me all the time. I'm sorry, forget that I –"

"I'd love to, Edward," I said, without even realizing I had decided. "But, I'm not letting you pay all of the bills, that's not fair. Besides… you don't even have a job, how can you?"

Smirking, Edward answered, "Bella, one thing you will find out over time… I'm kinda… um… well off. You don't need to worry."

I looked at him speculatively. "_How_ well off, Edward?" I asked, narrowing my eyes.

He bit his lip and cringed. "Like… um… well, you won't really _have_ to work, even though I know you will still want to, which is fine, just not necessary." He chuckled nervously. "My grandpa died and left each of us a significant amount of money. Ma gave us each the option of what company we wanted to buy stock in, saying that she wasn't going to let us just squander all of our money. I was obsessed with computers and the internet, so I told her I wanted to buy stock in Google. And, well, you can see how Google has come over the last nine years. So, uh… yeah… I can pretty much get money when I need it. But, I haven't touched it as of yet. I promised Ma that I wouldn't until I graduated, but I have already talked to her about this and she agrees that I have a good enough reason to tap into it."

"And you hid this from me because you wanted to make sure I loved you for you and not your money, huh?" I asked chuckling. "Hey! That means that every time I search Google – which is almost every freaking day – I'm helping give you money! That's hilarious!" I laughed heartily.

Reaching across the console, he grabbed my hand and said, "See, this is why I love you, Umbella. Some girls might have freaked out about that. You really _were_ meant for me." He squeezed my hand for emphasis.

* * *

"Would you like to know the sex?" the technician questioned after having showed us in depth every magnificent thing from the hands to the feet, to the head, to the heart. It was an incredible experience, watching the being inside me come to life on the screen.

At the very same moment, Edward and I both said, "Yes."

The lady smiled and answered, "It's a boy."

* * *

_July 28, 2010- 30 weeks_

"Edward, it's a baby shower, only women are supposed to be there!" I pushed him, chuckling.

"I'll be out of sight and out of mind, I swear. I just want to be in the vicinity in case you need me is all." He pulled out the big guns; his signature pout. The one I can't say no to.

"Fine, but you stay off in your 'library'," I said, complete with air quotes.

Edward had _bought_ us a house less than a mile from campus. I begged him to only rent, but he said the real estate market is always a good investment, and once school was out we would sell and move to a better location.

The house we had picked out – more like, he suckered me into agreeing to – was way too elaborate for just the three of us, but he was adamant, saying that we needed a bigger house so that we weren't crammed together twenty-four, seven. He had also said it would be necessary for our many get-togethers that we would have as 'new parents'. He was so cute about the whole parenting thing. It was kind of adorable.

One of the rooms in our oversized house was what Edward referred to as his _library._ It was basically a game room. Yes, he had ample shelves of books, but in the center of the room was a giant screen TV and every game system and almost every game known to man. He and I both knew that he had no need for a _library_ because once he read a book, it might as well be used for firewood. But not everyone knew his secret, so he had to keep up pretenses.

"Now, shoo! Get out, Alice will be here in about five minutes, and she will have a fit if you are still here!"

Three minutes later, Alice walked in. Yes, walked in. I learned quickly that hippies don't knock. Or maybe that's just Alice.

"Okay, Miss Bella. Today is your day, so you sit right there on your adequately proportioned derriere and you do absolutely nothing but be pampered, got it?"

Ever since I made the comment of how horribly _fat_ I had gotten – to which she retorted angrily that pregnancy weight was _not_ fat – she would always have something mean to say about my 'derriere' or my 'gluteus maximus'. But it was all in good fun, so I never let it bother me.

Guests started flowing in thirty minutes after Alice and Esme finished decorating. Surprisingly, it only took them forty-five minutes to completely transform my living room, dining room, front porch, and driveway. And we're talking super extravagant; the party looked like it was for the Queen of England, not for me.

People kept piling in, more people than I ever would have imagined. I had worried briefly about having enough drinks and appetizers for everyone, but Esme and Alice were pros; when stock would get low, more would miraculously appear. It reminded me of the Bible story where Jesus fed the five thousand. Except, well, I'm sure theirs wasn't a miracle or anything.

I ended up with enough items to take care of six babies for six months without ever having to go shopping. At least it seemed like it. It wasn't that I was ungrateful, but they really went overboard, and I felt bad.

"Okay, game time! Bella, you stay where you are, but everyone else needs to gather around her in a circle, while I go get Edward to control the CD player," Alice announced.

She came back ten minutes later with a Cabbage Patch doll and Edward trailing behind her.

"Alright, this is just like Hot Potato, but with a baby. I hope y'all don't think it's morbid, but it's just for fun. I'm sure you all know the rules. You pass the baby until the music stops. If the music stops and you have the baby, you're out. The last man standing gets the prize… or in your case, the last woman er… sitting." Alice giggled. "Oh, and don't forget. It's a _BABY_ so no throwing or tossing! Be gentle."

The game started slowly, with everyone being super gentle with the baby. After five women were out, people started getting a bit more hectic with the baby. A couple of times it was dropped on its head and once it was thrown over the recipient's lap completely. Everyone was laughing to the point of tears by the time we were down to four players.

I had started to notice something suspicious. The music would stop just _after_ or just _before_ the baby came to me. It had been happening for quite some time. I was worried that Edward was trying to get me to win, so I made a comment once we were down to four people.

"Alice… I think your CD operator might be a bit partial. Maybe you should make him go around the corner so he can't see the room." I narrowed my eyes at Edward and he rolled his in return, shaking his head.

"Oh, pish, posh," Esme said. "Edward wouldn't cheat for you, Bella. He knows the prizes, and he could go out and buy you one of each right now." She giggled profusely.

No matter how long I held the baby or how quickly the other guests would release the baby, I still _never_ ended up with it. Finally, it was down to me and Angela. She didn't even put up a fight.

"Man, you _all_ are biased, aren't you? I shouldn't win at my own baby shower, that's not even right." I laughed.

"The prize is that cute little blue box beside the giant pink one," Alice chimed with a smile.

I slowly unwrapped the box, and inside was a smaller, velvet box. I looked at Alice curiously. _Why would they be giving away jewelry as a gift for Hot Pota… um, Hot Baby?_

Just before I opened the box, Edward was kneeling before me with a smile.

As I lifted the hinged lid, he spoke. "Umbella, would you do me the honors of being the Troi to my Riker**?"

I didn't even look at the ring; I wrapped my arms around his neck and ravished him with kisses. The room erupted with clapping and cheering.

Edward broke our kiss and chuckled as he said, "You didn't answer my question!"

Alice piped up. "Screw that! She didn't even look at the rock! LOOK AT THE ROCK, BELLA!" she screamed.

The ladies all laughed as Edward rolled his eyes and said, "I'm more important than the 'rock', obviously, Al."

I grabbed his face, and with the utmost sincerity I said, "Yes, Edward, yes! A million times yes!"

* * *

_October 13, 2010- 5 days past due date_

"Ma, Pop, Alice, Jasper… we'd like you to meet the newest member of the family, Benjamin Anthony Cullen," Edward announced.

A lot of thought had gone into the naming of the newest Cullen boy. I wasn't sure how Edward would feel about giving him a name that would be significant of Mace. I didn't necessarily want to call his name every day, but he _was_ the source of conception, no matter how grim the circumstances were behind it.

Luckily, Edward had been thinking along the same lines as I. He had given me a very in-depth history of the names in his family. The most important were those belonging to his two grandfathers – Stregoni Benefici Cullen, and Edward Anthony Masen; Carlisle's and Esme's fathers, consecutively.

Edward had been named after his mother's father, obviously, and Mace had been named after the two – Masen Benefice.

Obviously, in this day and age, Benefice would not go over too well as a name, so we searched for similar names. Benjamin, which could be shortened to Ben, had been our final choice.

Carlisle nodded. "Benjamin – son of my right hand; the loved one."

Edward smiled, looking down at Ben, saying, "For you shall be greatly loved."

* * *

_October 15, 2010_

"You just relax, Bella. Jazz and I are here to help you. You need lots of rest, so let us do the work," Alice whined.

"Alice, you have to understand… I need to get used to sleeping when Ben's sleeping. You guys won't always be here for me, so I have to learn to do things on my own. I appreciate the help more than you will ever know, but I can't just sit on my butt and do nothing, because then I will get lazy." I laughed.

"Fine, but you aren't doing a lot of work. You can just help with the fun and easy stuff… like going through all of these adorable teeny baby clothes."

We both stood and headed toward the nursery, stopping abruptly when we could hear a guitar strumming inside the room. It was a quiet, gentle tune, but breathtakingly beautiful.

However, that was nothing in comparison once Jasper began singing slowly, softly, with a soulful, bluesy sound.

_Little, beautiful, perfect/ Your life has made anew_

_Things that had been broken/ Your presence was the glue_

_United, undivided/ Family standing strong_

_Misunderstandings, Circumstances/ Righting what once was wrong_

_You are the light at the end of the tunnel/ The silver lining on the darkest cloud_

_Second chances, healings, / Parents standing proud_

_No longer looking back/ Filled only with remorse_

_Life drastically changed/ Taken a new course_

_Laughter replaces sorrow/ Smiles replace tears_

_Future full of hope/ Happiness for years_

_Little, beautiful, perfect/ Your life has made anew_

_Things that had been broken/ Your presence now the glue_

Alice and I both had tears streaming down our cheeks as we walked into the room. She pounced him, hugging him and mumbling how perfect he was.

I smiled as I picked up _my_ perfect man.

And he was. Perfect in every way.

* * *

_December 7, 2011_

I awoke to an empty bed, something I had become accustomed to over the last few months. Edward was always letting me sleep in, saying I needed the rest more than he did. No matter how much I argued that he was going to school full time and I was only going part time, he said being a mother was exhausting in itself.

As I started to get dressed, I could hear him over the baby monitor, and I stopped to eavesdrop. His morning conversations with Ben were always the sweetest words ever.

"Good morning, my little Benny Brown Eyes." I heard him shuffle around and then sit in the rocking chair and begin rocking. "I just wanted to tell you that in a few days you're no longer gonna be the baby in the house. But that doesn't mean we won't still love you. You have changed our life completely. I never knew I could love someone as much as I love you. You will always be my little man. I love you so much.

"I also need to tell you that it's gonna be your job to look out for your little sister. That's what big brothers do. She's gonna look up to you and want to be like you, so you need to set a good example. You need to be the perfect gentleman I know you can be. And I want you to come to me whenever you have problems. You can tell me anything. You never need to hide things from me or your mom. We will always be here for you. I love you so much, little man."

As I wiped away the tears, I heard Ben, in his sweet little voice, say, "Yub you Daddy."

I rubbed my bulging belly and whispered, "You are coming into a home full of love, my little Elizabeth Renee. You have an amazing father, and a wonderful big brother. You have wonderful grandparents and the sweetest aunt and uncle imaginable. You are a very lucky lady. We both are."

* * *

*Epictetus

For the non-Trekkies out there:

**Deanna Troi and William Riker, a couple who carried with it not only the chemistry, but also the sort of twisted, tangled history that makes for great romance. They had their share of obstacles, but their relationship always had a cosmically fateful feeling. They later married in Star Trek Nemesis.

You can see the ring on my profile if you so desire

**I would love just one last time to hear what you think. It will make my day! Thanks again for reading!**


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